THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD.

And even then, there was no guarantee that the artists who had made a profitable hit last year would do the same next year. The public demanded new movies, but new movies were risky by definition. Your contract players would act their hearts out, your cinematographers would pick out every detail in glorious Technicolor, your director would time each scene to the secondâand yet the public might not like the movie after all.
But then there was the other side of Hollywoodâthe side you could rely on, the side where profits were guaranteed. This was the side of Hollywood where all the same talent and all the same technical wizardry that went into making this yearâs Oscar-bait could be hired for a feature-length Technicolor musical fantasy about Westinghouse appliances. And here it is, thanks to the Library of Congress and the Internet Archive:
Just watch the creditsâyou donât have to watch the whole hour and a half. The credits alone will drop your jaw six inches.
You can see the attraction for the studios. There was no worry about whether box-office receipts would pay for the production, because there was no box office. The corporate client was the audience, and the price was agreed on beforehand. This movie would make a profit, guaranteed.
And think how much more exciting it was to be an appliance salesman in those days. These days, the most exciting thing that ever happens in a salesmanâs life is when some YouTube microcelebrity with a channel about different ways to cook broccoli shows up for a book-signing at the Best Buy. But in 1952, Westinghouse salesmen all over the country got to sit down in screening rooms and see the top talent in Hollywood giving voices to the appliances they peddled every day. It must have made a difference in the salesmanâs morale when he could imagine every dishwasher as Maureen OâSullivan.
The Internet Archive has a collection of more than 24,000 âEphemeral Films.â Most of them were ephemeral for good reason, but every once in a while we run across a treasure. Perhaps Ellis in Freedomland is not exactly a treasure. But it would be hard to think of a general-release film more beautifully photographed than American Look, a 1958 widescreen Technicolor spectacular about the marvelous world of industrial design. âImproved styling constantly adds to the ease and grace and gaiety of American living,â says the narrator, and it is a tribute to the work of the photographers that we believe every word he says.
MOBILE FIRST.
We may grant that many of these riders see these landscapes every day; still, the landscapes are always changing, and are they really duller than what was appearing on their phone screens? Probably not, because their phone screens were at that moment proving to them that they had always been correct in every opinion they had ever held, and other people were monsters for disagreeing. That is the mission of social media.
On the streets downtown, the proportion was not quite so high; but still, among the pedestrians, many or most had their eyes glued to phone screens. It does tend to make them walk out into traffic, and perhaps Darwin ought to be allowed to do his work. But, on the other hand, even the most alert pedestrian, with phone in pocket or no phone at all, may be run down by the scrolling-while-driving motorist who runs a red light or turns left into a stream of people in the crosswalk. The state of Pennsylvania just recently made driving with a handheld phone illegal, and has placed signs to that effect along all major streets and highways. But there seems to be little diminution in the number of people who are driving while running through their TikTok feeds. To be fair to them, they probably havenât seen the signs. How could they?
At sidewalk cafeÌs downtown, people were sitting staring into their phone screens. On benches in Mellon Square, people were sitting staring into their phone screens. On the Diamond, people were sitting at tables staring into phone screens while a lonely guitarist failed to capture the attention of the lunch crowd.
Google and other authorities have long advocated a âmobile-firstâ approach to Web design: that is, giving mobile devices the priority when design decisions are being made. Two years ago, Dr. Boli argued that the mobile-first approach was wrongheaded: platform equality should be the rule. But insofar as it meant that desktop computers could no longer be regarded as the standard, âmobile firstâ was the right idea. More people see most sites on a phone screen than on a computer screen.
Now it seems to Dr. Boli that we have come to the point where we must take a mobile-first approach to life. We can no longer regard reality as the standard: more people see the world through their phone screens than through their unmediated eyes. Dr. Boli has already written about some of the symptoms of that change: how people perceive pictures as more realistic when they appear distorted the way our phone cameras distort them than when they appear the way they appear to our eyes. The principle, however, seems to be more general: the majority of people now see the world as a whole the way it appears on their phone screens. The screen is the default; the direct perception of reality is an occasional inconvenient necessity, and one that we increasingly forgo. This explains why mad conspiracy theories are mainstream now: an idea that can be entertained only by someone with a limited experience of reality can be entertained by a majority of the people, because most people have only a limited experience of reality. What the phone tells us is more real than what the world outside the screen tells us.
What does this observation mean for the people who are responsible for maintaining order in our society? Probably it means that they get everything they want if they just manipulate what we see on our screens cleverly enough. But let us assume that our dictators are benevolent. What do they need to do for us?
First of all, they need to assure our safety as we move through a world we no longer perceive except through a glass darkly. Modern automobiles have object-detection systems to warn us of a potential collision. The same things need to be built into our phones. The screen has to tell us that we are stepping in front of a streetcar, because we will not see the hazard in any other way. This becomes especially important in Pittsburgh, where it has just been announced that new streetcars are on the way that will be more than twice the length of the old ones.
Secondly, they need to make sure our infrastructure is hardened up with plenty of redundancy. There can be no outages in a world where truth is defined by the phone; being dropped back into reality, even for a moment, would be a terrifying experience.
Thirdly, they need to make sure, for the same reason as above, that phones cannot be lost. It should be possible in the near future, if it is not already possible, simply to replace the non-dominant hand with a phone-holder of standard size, which could then accept and lock in any preferred brand of phone.
Finally, they need to build quarantine areas or concentration camps for the small number of recalcitrant people who are still addicted to the experience of unmediated reality. Those people are in the way. In a world where the phone screen dictates what is true, the reality-addicts are a disruption. The more the things our phones tell us deviate from reality, the more reality becomes unacceptable. Mobile-first will have to be our rule, and it will have to be enforced.
A SIGN FOR YOUR FENCE.
FROM THE ILLUSTRATED EDITION.
CALL SLAVERY WHAT IT IS? MAYBE NOT IN HOMER.
We say all these things because we have been reading the Wikipedia article about Emily Wilson and are about to quibble with her about one little thing she said. But we have seen her derided as âwokeââa word that is hereby added to the Index Verborum Prohibitorum, because it is a playground insult with no more meaning than âpoopyheadââand we should not like to be placed among the deriders. If you do not like Emily Wilsonâs translations of Homer, of course, you have other choices, some of them very good. Dr. Boli does like her translations, even if he cannot possibly be pleased by every word in them.
Now, here is the thing Dr. Boli would like to debateâin a friendly and respectful manner. In the Wikipedia article, we read,
In Wilson’s translation, enslaved characters are often called “slaves” rather than “maids” or “servants”, with translator notes explaining the word choices; discussing older translations of the Odyssey with journalist Anna North, Wilson said: âIt sort of stuns me … how much work seems to go into making slavery invisible.â
Here is where Dr. Boli will perhaps put himself outside of current intellectual fashion. One of the luxuries of a longer life than average is a disregard that might almost be called cavalier of intellectual fashions. It seems to Dr. Boli that, in the single matter of the terms for slaves, the older translations may be more faithful to the universe of Greek thought.
The word âslaveâ provokes automatic outrage and horror in the average American or Briton of todayâso much so that many of us refuse even to speak the word, substituting âenslaved personâ every time we run across it. This is a safe and wholesome form of outrage; it is a petard we can set off without any fear of being hoist by it ourselves, because not one of us is a slaveholder. We can get very angry about slavery, knowing that it is probably the one sin in the world no one could catch us in. With trivial exceptions, none of us has ever known a slave or a slaveholder. The number of Americans who were alive before 1865 is small, and the British had outlawed slavery before that. Now, it is true that we may benefit from slave labor in other parts of the world, butâââ And here is where we agree to stick our fingers in our ears and go on to the next topic.
We do not realize how our situation forms our view of slavery. To us a slave is an exceptional thing, and therefore using any other word to describe someone in a state of slavery seems like deliberate avoidance. But let us try a couple of thought experiments and see whether they give us a fresh point of view.
Suppose that, in a distant future world, motor vehicles have been banned. They caused hundreds of thousands of deaths a year; major wars were not as destructive as motor vehicles, and motor vehicles formed the bulk of the equipment in major wars. The very term motor vehicle has become the most fruitful source of outrage for these future people; they cannot understand how the wicked people of previous centuries tolerated the carnage for so long.
What will those enlightened people of the future see when they look back at our literature? They will see that we talk about cars, SUVs, station wagons, buses, trucks. They will see the names Ford, Toyota, Austin, Volkswagen, De Soto, Hyundai. But these are all motor vehicles! Isnât it astonishing how much work seems to go into making motor vehicles invisible?
Or again, suppose a future in which artificial intelligence has so fundamentally changed our economy that no one works for a living anymore. The people of that utopian or dystopian future look back with horror on the benighted ages before them, when the great majority of human beings were employees, subject to the arbitrary whims of a boss who could at any moment say, âIf you do not accede to my whims, I will stop feeding your family.â Yet when they look back at our literature, they see people described as clerks, cashiers, marketers, nurse practitioners, designers, custodians, systems analysts, insurance adjustors. Isnât it astonishing how much work seems to go into making employment invisible?
If we were suddenly projected into one of those future worlds, we might try to explainâprobably without much successâthat it was not a question of making things invisible at all. It was quite the reverse. Motor vehicles are always visible in our world, and nearly everybody is employed. Therefore we need words that distinguish one kind of motor vehicle from another, or one kind of employee from another, more than we need the words âmotor vehicleâ or âemployee.â
The same was true of slavery in the Greek or Roman world. A rich family might have a large staff. Of course they were all slaves, but in a world where half the population might be in a state of slavery, that was not the interesting or useful thing to know. What was necessary was to know what this slaveâs business was: gardener, secretary, cook, ladyâs maid, masterâs favorite toy.
That is half the argument. The other half is this: that the automatic outrage we feel when we hear the word âslaveâ immediately throws us out of the world Homer inhabited. We know slavery as the wicked thing people of the past did; it is impossible for us to think of slavery without thinking of the evils thereof, and indeed the unexamined assumption that slavery is wicked is what underlies Dr. Wilsonâs remark in the first place. Yet in all of classical literature (and he has certainly not read all of classical literature, so Dr. Boli would welcome contradictions), Dr. Boli cannot recall a single instance of a writer who suggested that slavery was wrong in an absolute sense. It might be wrong that this or that person should be enslaved, but no one questioned the fact of slavery itself. Even Paul of Tarsus, who was quite willing to die for his unorthodox opinions, would not condemn slavery outright. Even when he really, really wanted Philemon to free his slave Onesimus, Paul would not outright tell him that slavery was bad. He would only give Philemon the best literary guilt trip of all time (âalbeit I do not say to thee how thou owest unto me even thine own self besidesâ). Homer will show us the tragedy of enslavementâthat is, the act of making a slave of someone who was not. But if we are feeling outrage about the fact of slavery itself, we are not living in Homerâs world. Here, by the way, is rare evidence of moral progress; it is very seldom that we can point to anything in history and say, âSee? We used to be worse than we are.â
Now, with that trivial quibble out of the way, we send you off to read Emily Wilsonâs Odyssey with our heartiest recommendation. It seems to us that, in the translation itself, Dr. Wilson hits exactly the right notes when slaves come in, making them characters when Homer makes them characters and furniture when Homer makes them furniture. And in a little while, Dr. Boli will tell you why Emily Wilson chose the right meter for her translation, where more pedantic translators are tempted to make the wrong choice.
A SIGN FOR YOUR FENCE.
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From DR. BOLIâS ENCYCLOPEDIA OF MISINFORMATION.

The Eiffel Tower at Kings Dominion, Doswell, Virginia, photographed by Julia Traub.
Eiffel Tower.âIf all the Eiffel Towers in the world were laid end to end, they would form an enormous horizontal metal pagoda.




