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lysafae
19 June 2011 @ 12:47 am
How well can I survive?  
 
 
Yes, a question of irritably how?

 
Yes, I am here now. Trying to survive the University of the Philippines in Mindanao. And now, how am I? I couldn't just say that I'm fine because I may just be lying to my readers.  I ain't that okay and I ain't that bad. Maybe adjusting to a place to another is really that difficult especially for those people like me, trying to adapt in an unknown world. I don't know what to do day by day without my friends, my family. Don't take it literally, I treat my friends just like my family and just like my own self. For God knows how they mean so much to me. I am exhausted every time I reach my room from school. What if I'll go and take dorm? AM I going to survive without my parents at this very young and very dependent age? NO. Maybe you hate me but I'm really a negative thinker. I won't ask any forgiveness because I my self never ask for myself. Now, am  really that irritating?  For this place is very quiet as if no one has lived here.  For some interruptions, I have to end here. Hell yeah but sorry..
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Current Location: Philippines
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: NONE?
 
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lysafae
03 January 2011 @ 02:13 pm
And I mean it.  
 
 
I MUST BE CRAZY.
 
Why do I think and feel like this. I think I'm crazy. I can't decide what's best for me. I failed. I know. And through this I knew God has sent me that message. A message worth to be obeyed. Crazy! Oh Holy Crap. How things has dramatically changed into something unbelievable then suddenly, everything has come to an end. It was just like the ending of the TITANIC. No one thought that it will come to last @ 1912. That is why I hate love. I hate myself. I'm very very weak in terms of LOVE. And yes this is my major problem. I fall for a person suddenly. For a short while of being together, I might fall. Though, I may not know everything about that certain person, I'll fall I know. If I'll let myself, I know it will deepened. And then suddenly, after the dreams, after of being in the wonderland, I'll wake up like sleeping beauty. I'll wake up in the reality. A reality full of heartaches and sorrow. A reality not worthy to be cherished and enjoyed. I must be crazy in terms of love.

Okay, let me ask you, Is it right to love the person whom you don't know? I mean, what if you suddenly fall for someone? and you still don't know him or her that much, Is it considered LOVE? Foolish things invade my mind this very moment for a certain reason not to be brought to the public such as this. I wish he was you and I wish I was her. Imaginations are the ones that fulfill my satisfaction in the situations such as this. Blogging this might not help me solve this but I can burst them out here. Blogging can never help me I know but I dont have any option. Facebook and tumblr are more crowded. A silent place like this, I prefer.
And maybe, this can be the end of something and the start of the new beginning.

 But no one can tell.
 
 
Current Mood: lonely:
 
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lysafae
19 December 2010 @ 06:08 am
Icons and banners.  



I found these BANNERS. I love them that is why I have posted them here.




I believe that a picture can paint a thousand words.
NOT YET SATISFIED? how about these icons?


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lysafae
19 December 2010 @ 05:32 am
A sunday before God was born  

Hell yeah, I keep on day dreaming about you. I have even dreamed of you a while ago. Seriously, you were hugging me like you hugged me before. I feel so happy and I feel very good. I thought it was a real thing. When I woke up I get disappointment, WHY? coz it was just a dream. :(. Too bad. So its Sunday today and unexpectedly I have a visitor. But let's not talk about that, let's talk about this day. So, this day is full of Christmas songs. My favorite Christmas song was played entitled " Carol of the Bells", not really sure with the title but I think it was it.Oh yeah, I love that song. It was like the bells are singing because the voices are almost all sopranos that are mixed together creating a perfect melody.

This is the last week before Christmas. Hardly to tell you, I am nostalgic still about him. I can't help myself. Okay, I'll just be pretending he didn't came across my mind.


I would just say, GOOD LUCK TO MY PRETENDING.

By the way, This is ONE OF MY WORST CHRISTMAS. I think so. Nothing happened or maybe will happened something memorable. I can feel it through my powerful senses (oh really?). Okay, I have expected this will be a different Christmas but I was VERY wrong. Because it wasn't. Seriously, I HATE CHRISTMAS. I LOVE THE VACATION BUT I HATE THE CELEBRATION.




Sometimes, I wish to have a shoes like this. I want to run , as the same time fly away, to a faraway land. I always wish that every time I'm all alone in my room. Staring blankly into the space and wondering what if I could run somewhere any creature can't find me. I don't want to be completely alone. I want to me with myself. I and myself only and nothing more.
If I could only...



I want a place something like this. It's very nice to look at and very very relaxing.
 


Sometimes, I wish to took a picture of  everything that have happened to my life. Every thing, yes. And I want to make a journal about it so that people might learn something about my life. That life is not just full of flowers and butterflies.
Picture? A picture can paint a thousand words. It can show things, beyond words.
 

 

I hate this loneliness every Christmas.
 
COULD SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME A HEART? I need to feel that somebody, in spite of my imperfections, still accept me for who am I.

I hope, something might still happen though
Love,
Lysafae
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Current Mood: blankblank
Current Location: kawaii icons finder
 
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lysafae
18 December 2010 @ 03:47 pm
Memories of you.  



I have this someone. I can't tell if this is just a puppy love or its totally a love. But, I keep on remembering our past. We never had a relationship but on our hearts we did. It's because of me by the way. For some reasons, I have to stay away from that situation since its complicated in my part. And I can't also tell that I have regretted it because I know I am right. I keep on remembering what happened last year. When I was still in Junior high school, the best high school year of my life, I met him. It was totally amazing since everything was a destiny, I think. I keep on remembering everything. Every time I saw him, I could really feel the blood rushing through my very own veins. They say I am very addicted to him. I admit it. Yes I am. For no reason, I am.

NEW WORD FOR ME. nostalgic - unhappy about being away and longing for familiar things or persons


crying,

This Christmas, I am longing for someone who could bring joy to my boring life. My soon to be boring Christmas. Unfortunately, I know it is.:/ That is why I am no excited this coming Monday. NOTHING TO BE EXCITED FOR. :/. Unfortunately again. I am very unhappy. I dont know why. I think I am too crazy about my life and about everything else that is happening around me. Am I that too emotional? I wanted to pretend? But pretending forever is another story. I'm always wondering what if you and I were together? Maybe it's really a relief. But what if one day I'll tell you that my feelings were gone? how would you react? But for now, I'm just very very confused.I'M CONFUSED ABOUT EVERYTHING.


sometimes, I wish I know how to play piano. I wanted to play some love sad songs.
LOVE,
LYSAFAE.
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Current Music: idk
Current Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Current Location: no one cares
 
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