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Bacon Added
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New Study Finds 81 Percent Of Starbucks Patrons Silently Judging Each Other For Being There
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Display Of Genuine Enthusiasm Mocked
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Grandma Just Called To Talk About 1956
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Police Lose Planted Evidence
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Old Thing Really Heavy
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Silent Protest Sparks Silent Debate
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Dept. Of Tautology Rereleases Report For Second Time
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Sixth Beer Steps In To Speak For Area Man
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Study: Majority Of Nation’s Sweat Now Produced From Eating Spicy Wings
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Wedding Ring Jammed Into Slot Machine
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Chess Onlooker Sees A Move You Can Do
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Amazing Psychic Bends Truth With Mind
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Independent Bookstore Acquires Cat
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Play Within A Play Also Boring
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Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn ‘Macarena’ Performance
SAVANNAH, GA—In remembrance of the lives lost on that fateful day, sources confirmed that the roster of the Savannah Bananas…
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Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds
WASHINGTON—In a legal measure that will greatly expand the options available to American sportsmen, the Trump administration announced Thursday that…
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Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities
WASHINGTON—Saying the tragic events of 25 years ago were just the beginning in the nation’s blue states, President Donald Trump…
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Woman Sleeps Her Way To Top Of Family
GALENA, IL—Calling the woman a “desperate slut” who hadn’t put in a hard day’s work in her life, an anonymous…
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