Prayers For A Dear Friend

I am so excited for my friend Andrea. She and I spent three weeks together in zambia and were instant buddies. We went through Hell and back together for three weeks. In a short period of time we saw each other at our bests and worsts. I feel closer to Andrea then some of my friends I have known for twenty years or more. When no one else understood what I was feeling and going through, I knew I could talk to her because she did. She has lost two children over the past three years due to failed adoptions. In Guatemala and Zambia.

Well today my friends, she is on her way to Ethiopia to pick up the newest family members. A four year old little girl and a four year old little boy. And they are just about the cutest things I have ever seen. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. I pray that she has a joyous meeting with her children and that the Lord blesses them with closeness and love over the next two weeks they will spend together bonding before flying home.

And now it's official, I am the only one left from the Zambia families that haven't completed an adoption. Boo Hoo! I know it is all in God's Timing though.

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day. The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign. My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy. I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me.

A Whole Lotta

A whole lotta Thankfulness this year!
As I sit here in my house, my very warm house, I can't help but think of those who don't have a place to call home. A place where their four year old can run around without socks on in the middle of winter jumping on furniture that he constantly gets in trouble for. I am truly thankful for my home. We live in an old house. It is the home my Grandfather built, my dad and five siblings were raised in, my sister and I were raised in, and now my family's creating new memories in this cherished home. We actually had our home up for sale last year when I went to Zambia. We wanted a newer home with more living space. Although we have four bedroom's we don't have a family room and wanted five bedrooms. I thank God for sending me to Zabmia last year. I am so thankful, even through all the heartache of that trip. Through this time, I really came into myself. I will never take anything in life for granted again. The Lord deepened my passion for African Orphans when I thought I couldn't have any more passion then what I already had. I came to love my home and we took it off the market. I was going to Zambia to adopt. The adoption didn't happen, but I came away with a stronger faith and a closer relationship with my God. I saw Jesus in the many children that I cared for while in Africa. I saw Him, I touched Him, I fed Him, and cared for Him. I am thankful for the relationships I formed while in Africa and still continue to have. I am thankful for my little girl that I was able to spend three weeks with. I have become close with her mother and continue to support them financially.

What am I thankful for?

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I thought I would do a "I'm Thankful For" Post. However, I think I am going to write something daily that I am truly blessed and thankful for.

There are so many things, but tonight I am going to focus a little on my faith and family. When I was 19 living at home, I made a choice to move out of my house and marry my first husband because my Dad wouldn't let me date him (he was 15 years older than me). I was so naive, had never lived anywhere but with my mom and dad and knew very little about the world outside our family life. I always tease my dad and say it was his fault because if he would have just let me date him, I probably would have dumped him after a couple of month's. It was not a good marriage, he was very controlling and unfaithful. So why am I mentioning this now. I am so thankful that from that marriage I gave birth to two wonderful children. They are now 14 and 11 and I'm not sure where the time has gone. I am also grateful for the divorce. Yes, I know that may sound crazy, but because of it, my ex and I are good friends and he has become an amazing father.

I am also thankful for my husband. He may be far from perfect, but he is perfect for me and our family. I love him sooooo much, more than I could ever express in words. He has put up with me for the last nine years, which quite frankly can be hard to do. I am very flaky. Lose my keys and almost everything else not attached to me on a regular basis. He may gripe, but always helps me find my "things". He is my best friend. And he has the kind of love for me that II Corinthians speaks about. He knew I had always wanted to adopt from day one, and was more than willing to go with along side me. He trusts me and my opinion although sometimes I am not sure why. After I took out 35 thousand dollars in loans for our zambia adoption and ended up without a daughter, with a huge ache in my heart, and a large debt, he never once has blamed me. It would be so easy for him to be hateful or spiteful when I say "no we can't do this or that, we don't have the money" but he is not. He is supportive and loving and out of his mind because we are smack dab in the middle of adopting again. Mike I love you and you really do complete me and our family.

I am also very thankful for my youngest son. He is the baby, but he is so much more than that. We were a broken family before he was born. There was nothing to join us together as a family joined in marriage. The boys had a step dad who loved them, but it just wasn't the same. Then this little fellow came along. The boys have adored him since he was born. I don't know what happened, but he was a true blessing from God. He has bonded us all together in ways that wouldn't have been possible without him. He makes me laugh everyday and I could just stare at his cute little face all day, every day.

I am also so so grateful for my faith. I am not sure why the Lord chose me to have a heart of compassion, but He did, and I am reminded of this special gift every day. I am still somewhat naive and was in a bible study one evening when we were in the book of James. It has always been my favorite book in the Bible. That night I realized that not all Christians had a heart of Compassion. Everyone is given different gifts from the Lord. And I am soooo very grateful for this one. There are times when I feel worn down and wonder why I am even trying to make a difference in the world when such little things aren't even making a dent. The Holy Spirit quickly re-fill me with passion for the hurting and lonely when I no longer have the strength. Thank you Lord for all of your blessings and Grace.

The start of something good

Well, Halloween was fun, glad it's over:) And many of you know of the heartbreak we suffered while attempting to adopt a little girl in Zambia last summer. We spent three weeks there with three other families to adopt through an American Agency, and I say that lightly! It has been over a year since we returned to the US without our little girl and extremely heart broken. However, that trip did change my life. I am stronger than I have ever been and am more determined to help orphans and widows. It's hard to comprehend for others and sometimes even myself why such a disheartening trip would leave me even more determined, but all I can say is that it was a true Divine Intervention in my life. I have continued to stay in contact with the mother, who is HIV Positive, of our little girl and Rev. Zimba. Rev. Zimba is a wonderful man. He and his wife choose to live in poverty in the compounds of Lusaka to minister to the orphans and widows. We have sent him money on a regular basis to help out our little girl, her mother and two siblings. It is not enough, I know, but they are so grateful to have food that they weren't accustomed to having on a daily basis. You see, Mary (the mom) has HIV. Her husband died of AIDS over a year ago. Her husband's family was supposed to care for her and the children after the death of her husband. Instead they became greedy, made Mary and the three girls move off the property and took it over for themselves. That is how they ended up in the compounds and in dire circumstances.

I am starting an organization to help the orphans and widows under Rev. Zimbas care. It is to be called "One Child at A Time". I have ordered brochures and will be trying to recruit families to sponsor a family or child for 20 dollars a month. Rev. Zimba is going to register us in Zambia and I am going to take care of things on this side. I am very excited about this. Here is what the brochures look like. They have pictures on them from my trip to orphanages in Lusaka. Please pray for this organization to blossom and change lives, both here and in Africa.


This is the front. World was left off for some reason when I pasted it.


This is the back. They are going to be glossy.

Sorrow

Haven't posted in a while, but just saw this on another blog I have listed in my favorites. She is the director of development for AHOPE and recently brought home an older girl from there. This was on her blog today and it saddens me so, not only saddens but evokes feelings of guilt, feelings of "what could I have done to stop this from happening?"


Sorrow at AHOPE



Tilahun Yimer 1996 - October 2008



I had the sad task today of announcing the death of one of our AHOPE children. Tilahun Yimer was 12 years old and after a brief illness he succumbed to meningitis. This has been a great shock to the children and staff at AHOPE.

Tilahun was one of the first AHOPE children, arriving in 2001. He was a very fine boy and was loved by everyone. As I was looking through photos from our trip, I thought I had found one of him, so I asked Honeybee and she told me that this was Tilahun and that he is a "very good boy, Mom". I haven't told her that her friend died last week. Honestly, I'm not sure that I can bring myself to do it yet. They spent their childhoods together and while most of the children around them died, they survived. God had a plan for them and His plan for Honeybee was to bring her home to us. Why couldn't His plan have included a family for Tilahun?

I have no answers, but I trust in God's unfailing love. I have been told that Tilahun knew well that God had a plan for his life, and that he was loved.

Please remember the children and staff at AHOPE. It is very easy for us to think that with good medication, HIV+ children are going to live long and healthy lives, but for those who remain in impoverished countries with limited medical care, that may not be the case. Our efforts for AHOPE are not in vain; there is still so much work to be done.

Two weeks ago we placed an order for more AHOPE bracelets and included Tilahun's name along with nine others. We had planned to begin offering AHOPE Memorial bracelets in January, never imagining that we would need to offer one sooner. If you would like a memorial bracelet to remember Tilahun Yimer, please visit the AHOPE Store.

We grieve, but not as those who have no hope.

~Lisa

What are cheapskates you ask, why that would be the Broscious Family!!!

We saw on the internet last Saturday that the Pittsburgh Zoo was having free zoo day Sunday. Yay! We thought, free zoo day, that could be fun! Manning had never been to the zoo so what better day to go than when it is FREE. It is about an hour and a half from our home. We took the 11 year old, his friend, and Manning. The "Teenager" opted out of this fun family adventure. We took the Pathfinder instead of the van because it had more gas. We reached Pittsburgh in about an hour and 45 minutes then traffic came to a screeching halt. What is going on?, my husband and I thought. Could it be a game? A special event? A presidential visit? No, it was free zoo day and every other frugal mugal had the same idea as we did. We sat in traffic for another 2 1/2 hours moving at SNAIL SPEED (see post below). We arrived to the zoo after > two hours of sitting in traffic, many urinations into a coffee cup while stooping in the floor of the vehicle and embarassing every member of my family (hey, I have three kids you know), and at 3 pm (did I mention the zoo closed at 5pm). Other than being tackled a few hundred times while trying to look at the animals along with the entire state of PA, WV, and OH, I have to say it turned out pretty well:) And what lesson did we all learn from this? Next time, we will just visit the local zoo that Manning and I go to regularly. The pet store. Just as cheap and not nearly as crowded:)

snips, SNAILS, puppy dog tails. Did I mention SNAILS

Wow, what a day!!! I think it can officially be one of the weirdest days of my life. A little background first.....Two days ago we went to a Go Mart to see my FNL while he was passing through town. Manning found about five shells, they looked like hermit crab shells. My FNL said they were snails but they were all dried out and dead. Manning told me to take the shells home with us, so I threw them in the little handle part of the driver side door in the van.

So I am woken up AGAIN to an insane 14 year old frantically screaming that he missed the bus again! (refer to earlier posts about the teenager stacking up on the missed bus episodes). We are 30 min. away from the high school. I have to get myself ready two other kids, get them to school and me to work. Got a hold of my mom and she came in and saved the day again! So the mini drama is over or so I think. I pull into work, grab the handle to get out of the van and notice five snails all over the inside of the door and snail slime to boot! I pull the snails off the carpeted door and carry them inside, place them in a bowl that they try to escape about every three minutes. So all the little Gary's helped me teach nursing students today. They are now safely home in an aquarium, yay!

I had to dismiss a nursing student from school permanently today for the first time ever, the student was bawling, I finally started my eight day late period, and was ready to cry right along with em.

Forgot about Cole's soccer game tonight because I was runnning the "teenager" around to go to a camp where he is a counselor for the weekend.

And finally I have been trying to pick up extra work for the adoption fees, when a lady from another college called to see if I would be interested in picking up 6 credit hours to teach OB/Peds for them. I said yes. She called back an hour later and told me I start lecturing Monday Night!!!!! Yikes!!! I usually prepare my two hour lectures month's in advance, now I am going to do a four hour lecture on a topic I have never taught before in two days!!! All this in addition to starting a per diem position in an ER as a Nurse Practitioner. And all I wanted to do this weekend was read my new book I just got (The Shack).

Children are so much fun to torture

I just thought about this and like a bad blogger totally forgot. Morgan had been on me for the entire week before homecoming about ordering the corsage(I think thats how it's spelled) for Alexis. I kept telling him I would get it ordered in plenty of time. She was wearing silver and he wanted me to order the color of the baby roses Ivory. Well Thursday night I was stressing over a huge test I had the next day. Mike went shopping at Wal-Mart and brought me home three roses wrapped up from there, they were a mixture between orange and red, fully bloomed and large, with the full stems attached. Morgan was already asleep when he got home from Wal-Mart. The next morning I was still in bed and Morgan was getting ready to leave for school. He tapped me on my shoulder and had the (sorry Mike) ugly roses in his hand. He said "what are these?" I looked at him half asleep and said "Oh, that is Alexis' corsage. I thought he was going to drop dead right there! His jaw dropped farther than I have ever seen it in his life and with the most horrified look on his face, said "They are supposed to go on her wrist and their orange!!!" I replied "Oh really" and proceeded to tell him I would just cut the giant buds and affix them to something so that they would fit on her wrist. And so before he had a giant kiniption fit, waking up the rest of the family, I burst out laughing. Man, I love being a mom and Oh, how I enjoy torturing my teenage son. I have to admit this teenage thing is much more fun than I thought it would be:)

Here is an idea of the horrified look:



And here are what the roses looked like:

My baby went to Homecoming tonight!!!!

Me and my baby girl.

Manning and Daddy

What Morgan does to Cole after he falls asleep.

Me and my only baby girl of the house sleeping together

Cole and Manning after his fourth grade graduatio

Picture of Pastor Keith, Boyden, and Cole at Camp Global Missions Camp from this summer. Man, what a great time we had!!!! (and Ms. Deb is back there too!)

More Pictures Of The Prayer Box

Prayer Box

I decided to make a prayer box this week so that the kid's could write down people we needed to pray for and then every night the kid's could take one out of the box and pray for whoever is on their card. I also wrote a bible verse on the back of each card. The box is divided into two sections. One section is for the cards that need prayer and they put them in the other side that says "believe" after they have prayed. I found a box at the store and used all my scrap booking supplies to do it up. It came out really well. Manning and our preacher's daughter, Bailey, helped with the box decorating and tag decorating. I am so excited about this. The kid's seemed really excited too. Morgan and Cole were already rattling off names to put in the box. And here it is.........

Book Review

The book I mentioned below, "Reckless Faith", arrived today. Amazing, I ordered it Tuesday around 5PM. They said it would be here today, and although I doubted that reality, it made it here TODAY! I was on the back porch and heard the familiar diesal engine of the UPS Truck, ran through the house and there it was! I have already read 3/4 of the book and IT IS AWESOME!!!

Also, Aimee, read your comment and thanks so much for the link. Pretty sad we work on the same campus and yet have never met. We are literally two minutes from each other on a daily basis and we talk to each other through a blog. Kinda odd, don't you think? Maybe we can do lunch some day as long as you have the baby with you so I can kiss on her:)

Movie Review

Not what I expected and I must say I enjoyed the old cartoons much much more. There was a lot of cursing in the movie and that was very disappointing and it was just way to futuristic for me. The boys didn't like it either. So wishing I would have rented it first :(

Broscious' Book Club

Wow! That sounds so much cooler than "Oprah's Book Club" doesn't it? Well, I just ordered a book yesterday off of Amazon that I have been waiting for month's to come out. It is called "Reckless Faith" by Beth Guckenberger. If you go back to my older posts I have a video with Beth talking about adoption. She and her husband have lived in Mexico for, I think, 13 years working with orphans. I absolutely love her. The book is supposed to arrive tomorrow. Can't wait. I will be sure to write reviews. Anyone interested in joining?

Bloggin Fool!!!

Wow, I know I have broke some kind of record today and deserve a reward. Including this post, that makes six posts in one day, Whew!!! I had a lot to say.

Update on HIV Adoption

OK, so I have been doing a lot of thinking about disclosure issues lately when we finally bring our little girl home. My husband and I have been talking about who we should disclose to or not. Well, Grace from our agency told us there was a possibility for a one year old little girl that was HIV Positive. Nothing definite, but maybe a possibility. We have talked to the boys about it all, and they could care less whether they have a sister that is HIV positive or not. It's so funny how different children raised with parent's in the medical field are compared to the more medically sheltered children. My kid's know so much about disease and the body that I don't even think about it until I see how much other kid's are sheltered from the human body. So Cole, the eleven year old, has said about 10 times in the past few days " So mom, we might be getting a one year old sister from Ethiopia that is HIV Positive". He is so non chalant about it. It didn't hit me until last night, when I looked at my husband and said " Maybe we should tell him not to announce the HIV status to the world"

Then, the more I thought about it, I am not going to tell him not to say anything. Why should we think we have to hide her status. I don't want her to grow up and be ashamed of a disease she was born with. I don't want her to be ashamed of any part of her. She is God's Perfect Child. Period!!!

If someone has an issue with her HIV Status, I will gladly educate them on it, however if they choose not to know the facts, they can carry on about in their own ignorance. My girlfriend, a wonderful Christian woman, said "I think it's great, time to start weeding them all out" And it's so true, why should we care what the rest of the world thinks? If they don't like it, they can stay away from us.

As I have talked to many people over the past couple of month's about our decision to adopt a HIV Positive child, it has been a wonderful chance to educate on the advances in the field. I am amazed how many medical professional's are not up to date on HIV treatment and research. It is such a fast-changing field that unless you are constantly digging your nose into the subject, you can't keep up. I specialize in HIV and teach that section to our nursing students. I feel so fortunate to be in a position to help stop the stigma at least somewhat. My long term goal is to start my PhD this year in Public Health and Epidemiology with an emphasis on HIV. I would love to work for UNAIDS one day. Please pray for our family as we wait to hear news about this possible little one that we want so badly to be ours.

How could anyone not give this cutie a stamp?

Poor little thing! He has gotten a stamp on his hand every day so far at school, that is until today. The first thing he said when I picked him up was " I was a bad boy today and didn't get a stamp" He was practically in tears. I asked him what he did and he said " I didn't do anything right today". That just breaks my heart. I told him I was sure he did lot's of things right today and just because he made a mistake, that he is still loved sooooo much. I asked him if he learned from his mistake, and he said "yes". Now what did he do? He poked a little boy in the back while they were watching Blue's Clue's. OK, so first of all why were they watching Blue's clue's at school and second of all, it's not like he bit the kid or pinched him, he poked him to get his attention for goodness sake. He said he would never poke another pre-schooler again and we went to Wal-Mart and bought Speed Racer The Movie. I am so hard on him:)

Last night he was talking to me while we were laying in bed (yes, he still sleeps in bed with Mommy and Daddy) the conversation went something like this:

Manning-I alway's good in school mommy
Me- good I am proud of you, I know you are a good boy
Manning- I never get in twouble
Me- I am so glad
Manning- OK, so I got in trouble once de other day.
Me- what did you get in trouble for?
Manning- I frew mables in de air and one went into de fis tank ( this is his lingo)
Me- Oh my! Were there any fish in the tank?
Manning- Yeah, but they still live!

And he still got a stamp that day, guess the poking thing really did it!!! God love him.

And finally, the much anticipated movie is out!!!

We have been waiting for this movie to come out FOREVER!!!!! This was my favorite cartoon when I was little. We didn't make it to the theatre, or actually I should say we have tried the indoor theatre three times with Manning and I swore I wouldn't take him again until he is at least six. So for his birthday, I bought him the DVD collection of the old cartoons. He loves them. Mike hates them! He never watched the cartoon when he was little and swears it is the stupidest cartoon he has ever seen. We have been collecting all the cars, you name it we have them. And now finally, I picked Manning up from Pre-school today and we drove straight to Wal-Mart. We are watching it right now. Excitement is at an all time high at the Broscious house right now. I know, we need a life:)

2nd job interview and meeting "The DOC"

Last Friday, I went through the most extensive interview I have ever had in my life. I had already decided not to take the job with the best pediatric heart surgeon on the east coast that would have pretty much sealed my career as a nurse practitioner for OH! Say the rest of my life!! Not to mention that I would have a lot more money left over. Well the PA that works with him now, said just come in see what we have to say and then decide. So that is what I did. Now the 14 year old was all like "So will you make more money there?" and I said "yeah, a lot more" He said he was willing to sacrifice time with me so that I could make more money for the family,(when in essence, what he was really saying was, hey, you make more money which means a little more is going to trickle down to me and I'm a teenager who really doesn't need quality time with his mother anymore because she doesn't know anything anyway)

I met with seven different people for this interview that lasted over six hours. I met with the anesthesiologist, the perfusionist, the PICU Cardiologist, the Peds Cardiologist, Dr. Gus, administrative people. I was dizzy by the end of the day. So I come home and start discussing it with my lovey. He say's something that actually made sense (I know, WOW that's what I was thinking too for those of you that know my husband). He says I would rather you regret taking this job then regret missing out on something with the boy's. And he is soooo right. I prayed and prayed about it and I know the right thing to do is stay in my state of poverty as a nursing teacher. With us adopting, it is even more important for me to be in a job that I can just take off if my kid's are sick. I have so much flexibility with this job and I maybe work 25-30 hours a week and only eight month's out of the year. So the hard part is going to be calling them and turning this position down. I told Dr. gus to give me two weeks.

The really cool news is that same day, I had a very early appointment with our Pediatric Infectious Disease Specialist in Morgantown. She is a wonderful woman. She is also a Christian. She was soooooo encouraging about us adopting an HIV positive child. I told her I was worried about being able to handle it all and she said " You will not have any trouble handling this, you can do it". The Lord had prepared the way for this day. She answered a ton of question's for me and was very kind. I was leaving and she said " I see you when you come back with your baby girl". She also told me that she had just had a consultation with another WV family the week before. This family is adopting a sibling set of three. One has HIV and the other two do not. The sibling's have been separated and have only been able to see and talk to each other through a fence. Now these three are going to be raised together where they can hug and kiss each other, beat the crap out of each other, and all the other fun thing's sibling's are supposed to do. God is good!!!!

Nightmare school day this week

OK, yesterday, not such a good day!! Thank goodness God alway's gives us a new one. So yesterday I wake up at 715am to the alarm going off. I had to leave the house at 730 after getting myself, Cole, and Manning ready for school, because Morgan was already gone (or so I thought). I was so mad that Mike set the alarm clock wrong, called him to find out why he didn't listen to me when I told him I needed up at 610. He promptly let me know that he set the alarm for 605, thinking to himself that I would be mad that he was waking me five minute's early. Mike said you know what, I bet Manning was hitting the snooze. Manning sleeps with us in the middle and the clock is on Mike's side. Mike said he know's how to hit the snooze and does it all the time. That little turd hit the snooze button for an hour.

Morgan turned his alarm clock off in his sleep. Morgan called his dad, who agreed to stop working, come pick him up, and take him to school. We made it out of the house by 730. Dropped the kid's off at my aunt's where they were to catch the bus. Find out later that middle school was closed due to electrical problem and there was no way my aunt was going to put Manning on the bus by himself without his brother with him, so she decides to put him in her car (she has no car seat) and take him to school herself. The school is very close and at this point in the morning I didn't care (and for those of you who know me, I know usually I would be throwing a fit over vehicle safety). Now around noon I receive another call, stating that High School is letting out early due to a water problem and Morgan is on his way home.

And just when it looks like all is clear, I go to pick up my four-year old after his first full day of pre-school. I stand with all the other parent's, watching the kid's leave the parking lot on a bus. A teenage girl is standing beside me from our neighborhood. She looks at me and proceeds to tell me that she saw my four year old getting off the bus at the church pre-school. She heard one of the worker's say "who is this kid?" Then she said they proceeded to take him into the building. Now mind you had this been Morgan or Cole at this age they would have been hysterical and I probably would have been also. But not Manning the four year old that believes he is 25. No Manning would have just walked home by himself had the daycare people not insisted he go inside. And knowing this independant child, he probably would have made the walk home with no problem. I could see him sitting on the front porch with his chin in his hand's when I would pull up and say "where have you been, I'm hot, I been waiting here all day".

Well, the school thought he was to ride the bus to the daycare (that he has never been to in his life) while I specifically stated he would be a walker and be picked up my myself, my husband, or his brother every day. Thank goodness I have known the daycare owner all my life. I walked in and she said "does this one belong to you?" He told them his name and she knew he was mine. He just turned around while he was playing and said "Hi Mom" And finally the day ended with me sticking my foot in my mouth at church last night. I came home to my family and had to laugh, becuase Morgan said "Dad's going to buy me a smart alarm clock" Mike and I unanimously said I don't think it's the alarm clock that needs to be smart, just the user:)

"Waiting"

Sandee on my adoption board posted this article about "the wait" that happens in life. I loved this article and need to re-read it every day.


Introduction (from "You're Late Again, Lord!" by Karon Phillips
Goodman.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope."
Psalm 130:5

I have to be, without a doubt, one of the most impatient people our
Lord ever put on this earth. Perhaps you're a close second, or
Heaven forbid, even worse. We live, therefore we wait. It seems
endless. Forever we wait on something to happen in our lives--to get
a job or to get a promotion, to quit a job or to move, to sell a
house or to buy a house, to save money or to have children, to start
school or to finish school, to get through a difficult time or to
overcome a hurt--it's always something. Whoever said "life is short"
must never have known the frustration of waiting forever on
something tht never seems to come.

Sometimes, our days feel like one long checkout line: constantly
waiting, barely inching forward, unable to see the obstacles,
doubtful of a satisfactory outcome in this lifetime. And then what
we're waiting comes or doesn't, we adjust, recover and move on. But
are we any better for the wait? Did we find the purpose the Lord had
tucked so carefully inside. Did we listen to God and learn, or did
we just complain about the circumstances?

Either way, when the wait is over, we shift our focus to a new wait,
and the feelings are all very familiar. Again, we grow impatient.
The cycle never ends. Through all the delays that we misunderstand,
we never seem to get very far from where we started. We stand still
on the path that matters most. The waiting is nothing more than a
time of frustration. We argue with our Lord over His timing and fail
to see that every day is a chance full of purpose--even if we're
waiting. Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's
purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

Yet we resist, complain, and sometimes get quite angry. Desperate
for God's touch, we move farther from Him, when we should be moving
closer. Do you ever find yourself in that kind of cycle--angry,
frustrated, and anything but patient with God?

If you do, welcome to the club--the Impatient Women's Club. Our
numbers swell daily when we are forced to abandon our normal plan of
attack and wait on God. We have become so accustomed to ordering and
orchestrating and planning and scheduling that it is incredibly hard
to admit that not all is within our control. Many decisions every
day are ours to handle, and we get pretty good at taking care of
things. We believe we could carry on even better if God would only
cooperate. We demand the answers we need from Him and yet we hear no
response. We question and condemn the intolerable delays in the
events we need to happen in our lives and yet nothing changes.
Doesn't God know that we need those answers NOW??!

Yes, He knows, but thankfully, He's smarter than we are. Becaues He
knows how hard it is for us to wait, to abandon control and to trust
beyond ourselves. He has devised a plan just for us. The basis of
the plan appeared many years ago, but it applies so well today, to
you and me. God is so clever. Your waiting doesn't have to be
unproductive--He knows our workhorse hearts. He knows our need to do
WHILE we wait. So when your life is at a standstill over what you
can't control, and when you're waiting on answers that never seem to
come, God says to use that time to work where you are. God says to
learn the art of waiting purposefully. Maybe that's what God had in
mind all along. Maybe that's why we wait.

Our stubborn hearts resist the wait, yet there is no
need. "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable,
always abounding in the work of the Lord, knoing that your labor is
not in vain in the Lord." (I corithians 15:58) We do steadfast and
immovable pretty well, don't you think? In this case, the
instruction is to "stand firm" and not be swayed from God's work.
The instruction is to follow God instead of trying so very hard to
hurry Him up.

When we ignore God's work for us , we misuse our valuable time and
yet can't understand why we have to wait over and over and over
again. You know the feeling. You see the waiting as an
inconvenience, but instead, it is a gift. there is no better time
than waiting time to learn how to become the disciple God needs and
the follower you want to be. Your work during that time is the
vehicle that will get you closer to God, if you let it. The Lord, in
His generosity and compassion, has already provided everything you
need. You can uncover the amzing blessings the waiting brings.

Beware though, because the plan God has provided takes work. It's no
quick fix. Waiting purposefully means working while you wait,
following God's word and surrendering to His will. It means focusing
on His view, not yours. It means coming face-to-face with God, in
all His glory and all your humility. It rarely means waiting for what
you THINK you're waiting for,but don't ever be afraid: the reward
is worth the work, and you don't have to wait (on the work). you can
start now.

PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES!!!!!!

OK, THE COOLEST THING EVER HAPPENED TODAY. I GOT A TICKET FOR A DEAD REGISTRATION TAG AND EXPIRED INSPECTION STICKER AROUND SIX MONTH'S AGO IN MORGANTOWN. THE TROOPER TOLD ME TO SEND IN PROOF OF MY REGISTRATION AND THEY WOULD DROP THE TICKET. I SENT IN PROOF AND CALLED A FEW DAYS LATER TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WAS OK AND THE MEAN LADY TOLD ME THE TICKET HAD BEEN DROPPED. SO A FEW DAYS AGO I GET A LETTER FROM THE DMV SAYING MY LICENSE WAS BEING SUSPENDED DUE TO A TICKET THAT HADN'T BEEN PAID. I THOUGHT THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE AND CALLED THE MAGISTRATE OFFICE. THE MEAN LADY WAS AS MEAN AS EVER. SHE SAID THEY TOLD ME THE TICKET HAD BEEN DROPPED BUT SHE SAID THE OTHER PORTION OF THE TICKET HAD NOT BEEN DROPPED. I DECIDED TO PRAY FOR HER THIS WEEK. THAT GOD WOULD BLESS HER. IT HAS BEEN REALLY HARD FOR ME TO PRAY FOR MEAN PEOPLE OR THOSE I DON'T LIKE, SO I HAVE REALLY BEEN WORKING ON THIS LATELY. I WENT TODAY TO PAY THE TICKET WHICH WAS 169 DOLLARS. WE DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY BUT I WAS GOING TO SKIP A BILL TO PAY IT. I WALK IN AND THE LADY DISMISSES THE TICKET. WOW!!! PRAYER'S ARE REWARDED AND WE ARE SOOOOO BLESSED, SO PRAY THAT GOD SENDS BLESSINGS DOWN LIKE RAIN DROP'S ON YOUR ENEMIE'S, IT WILL CHANGE YOU.

ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MORGAN WHO IS 14 AS OF YESTERDAY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY. MANNING HAD HIS FIRST DAY OF PRE-SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE TAPED THE WHOLE MORNING AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON GETTING IT LOADED FOR ABOUT 12 HOURS. I DID SUCCEED IN PUTTING TWO OF THE VIDEO'S ON YOUTUBE. JUST LOOK UNDER MANNING PRE-SCHOOL.

Revelation's and forgetfulness!!!!

Well, I have already screwed up my Monday fasting and praying. Not the praying part, just the fasting. I ate some chinese rice mix, totally forgot about the fasting I was supposed to start today, however I have prayed and worshiped today. So starting now, at 9am I will begin the fasting. Please join in this Monday fast and prayer for orphan's in the world. Carolyn, a lady that I totally admire is such a Godly woman. She has been doing the Monday fast and prayer for a while and invited everyone interested through her blog to join her. She was amazed at the overwhelming response. Her blog is listed in one of my favorites below. It is the stich that makes the sweater perfect.

I have been talking to Carolyn a lot lately, as my husband and I have been looking into adopting a HIV positive child. As medical professional's, it is not the medical part we are worried about, but the social stigma that will go along with it. I had pretty much thought that it probably wouldn't be a good choice for our family due to the social aspect's we would have to deal with. Again, putting ourselves first and ignoring the calling of God. I have been praying diligently for guidance from the Lord in this decision and without any answer, I decided not to move forward. That was until the sermon Pastor Keith delivered yesterday morning. I know it came from God and was directed to me. He talked about how we all pray that God will use us and ask Him to show us where he needs us. He pretended there were three groups around him. A group of orphan's, widows, and poor. He kept stepping over them as they were in his way as he was asking God to show him where he was needed. I cried during the entire sermon. I knew my answer had come. Pastor Keith also said we want to help and do God's work, but only when it fits in with our life, when it's convenient for us. He said oh! we want to adopt the healthy blue eyed, blonde child, but what about the sick orphan's, the disfigured orphan's? Now how is that for answered prayer's. So once again we are looking into the HIV adoption. I will add a post about HIV soon, to try to educate on this virus. I am actually shocked how little people know about this virus. My neighbor still thought it was possible to acquire it by kissing.

AND HERE ARE THE THREE BEAUTIFUL ALIEN'S THAT ARE FROM MY WOMB!

MY CRAZY LIFE

Ok, haven't posted in a while, I know! So much has been going on in my life and my little brain that I don't know where to even start, so I thought I would list some highlight's

* DECIDED TO PROBABLY TURN DOWN JOB WITH PEDIATRIC CARDIOLOGY-WOULD LOVE THIS JOB, HOWEVER THOSE DARN LITTLE PEOPLE MUST COME FIRST, AT LEAST THEY THINK SO ANYWAY. I WOULD BE WORKING FOUR 10 HOUR SHIFT'S AND THE DAY'S THAT MIKE WORK'S (HIS 12 HOUR SHIFT'S) DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD GET THE KID'S HOME, WHO WOULD KEEP THEM AFTER SCHOOL, TAKE THEM TO PRACTICE, ETC.

* HAVE BEEN GETTING "THREE" CHILDREN READY FOR SCHOOL THIS YEAR WHICH IS A HUGE CHANGE FOR ME. MANNING WILL BE STARTING PRE-SCHOOL THIS WEEK. HE WILL GO FOUR DAY'S A WEEK, ALL DAY. I AM GIVING HIM ABOUT 2 1/2 WEEKS BEFORE GETTING KICKED OUT (MIKE THINK'S THAT ESTIMATION IS GENEROUS)

* MORGAN WILL START (GULP!!!) HIGH SCHOOL IN LESS THAN TWO DAYS!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY I AM A NERVOUS WRECK AND HAVE EXHAUSTED MYSELF FINANCIALLY FOR THE SUPER MODEL'S SCHOOL ATTIRE. HE IS SO DARN PICKY AND FASHION CONSCIOUS. HAS BEEN SINCE HE WAS OH! AROUND 2. HE REFUSED AT 2 YEAR'S OLD TO WEAR ANY TOMMY HILFIGER, ANYTHING WITH STRIPE'S, ANYTHING FROM THE GAP, AND ALL SHOE'S HAD TO BE NIKE. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE COME'S FROM. AND TO HELP HIS EGO OUT, HE WAS VOTED AS "BEST DRESSED" LAST YEAR BY HIS 8TH GRADE CLASS. AND ON ANOTHER NOTE, HE IS SUCH A FLIRT. IT REALLY DRIVES ME CRAZY! HE HAS LOVED GIRL'S I THINK SINCE HE WAS TWO ALSO. THE NEIGHBOR HAS TWO TEENAGED DAUGHTER'S. HE FLIRTED FOREVER WITH THE YOUNGEST ONE AND NOW HAS BEEN FLIRTING WITH THE OLDER ONE. MAKE UP YOUR MIND SON!!!!

* AND ON THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE SPECTRUM WOULD BE MY 11 YEAR OLD SON THAT IS STARTING MIDDLE SCHOOL THIS YEAR. YES, THE CHILD THAT LOVES ANYTHING WITH CAMMO PRINT. THE CHILD THAT IF I DIDN'T STEAL HIS UNDERWEAR OUT OF THE BATHROOM WHILE HE WAS SHOWERING WOULD CONTINUE TO WEAR THE SAME PAIR FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS OR MORE. THE CHILD THAT I REALIZED AT ONE POINT HAD WORN THE SAME PAIR OF SOCKS FOR SEVEN DAY'S STRAIGHT. THE CHILD THAT PREFERS WEARING THE PANTS HE FOUND AT A YARD SALE OVER ANYTHING NEW. THE CHILD THAT HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR THOSE PANTS FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW THAT SOMEHOW MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED. THE CHILD THAT UNLESS MADE TO, WOULD NEVER SHOWER OR PUT ON DEODORANT. IN OTHER WORDS, THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE VOTED THE "STINKY KID". WHERE IN THE WORLD DID HE COME FROM?

* AND OH! YES, HOW COULD WE FORGET ABOUT THE FOUR YEAR OLD (THAT THINK'S HE'S 25 THANKS TO HAVING TWO OLDER BROTHER'S) THAT IS ABOUT TO PUT IN A ROOM WITH 20 OTHER FOUR YEAR OLD'S AND AT LEAST ONE ADULT THAT HE WILL THINK HE IS ON HER LEVEL. THE CHILD THAT ARGUE'S BIBLE STORIE'S WITH ME. THIS SWEET FOUR YEAR OLD IS ABOUT TO CHALLENGE THE MOST EXPERIENCED PRE-SCHOOL TEACHER AND I REALLY HOOPE SHE WIN'S. THE CHILD THAT WHILE IN A RESTROOM STALL WITH ME EXCLAIMED "YOU USE THAT THING TO PLUG UP YOUR BUHOLE" AS MY COLLEGE NURSING STUDENT'S WERE OUTSIDE LAUGHING THEIR HEAD'S OFF IS OFF TO THE REAL WORLD.

* AND MY FINAL THOUGHT ON THESE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IS "WHERE THE H^*& DID THEY COME FROM?"

Job interview today!

So, went for my interview today with Ped's Cardiology. The interview went really well. He is a little quirky, but seems OK. His PA that works for him now is awesome. I talked to her for a bit. She said he is a perfectionist. He only allows one anesthesiologist in his OR, no resident's, certain nurse's, and that's it. He really cares about his kid's so that is good. I would be working four 10 hour day's. They have already turned down two mid level practitoner's for this position, so I guess that is really good that I was offered the job. I don't know the pay yet. They are going to work up an offer and let me know. Hopefully, it's more than I'm making now.

It seem's like this should be a really easy decision, but it's not. I love working five minute's from home. Being there to pick up the kid's every day from school and having my summer off with the kid's. The only problem is that I don't make enough to pay all the bill's not to mention pay for college education or repay my loan's here soon.

So, I am going to spend the next few night's pretty much freaking out and trying to figure out what to do. I need to pray a lot and I really need a sign ( I usually require the big signs, like the one that hits you upside the head).

Any opinion's are not only welcome but wanted. If you could see me I would be down on my knee's literally begging for advice. C'mon people tell me what I should do!!!!!

Love this video to Chris Tomlin's song.

Mission Conference

Cole (the soon to be 11 year old) and I are leaving Sunday after church to spend four day's at a mission's conference. I am so excited, since mission work is my passion and I am also excited to share this time with Cole. He was the baby for seven year's until Manning came along and we haven't had any time together one on one for a long time. He is probably the child of mine with the biggest heart for helping other's and I think this will be great for him. We are staying in a cabin with our preacher and his family. I was going to go alone, but then remembered Cole's birthday fell on the Wens. I was going to be gone. I missed his birthday last year because I was in Africa and I really didn't want to miss it again. So I talked him into going with me (ha ha suckerrubberneck!)

Inner Struggle

Well we returned from our church service today and it left me with some question's for myself. I have always been the type of Christian that isn't confined to the politics of a specific religion. We attend an American Baptist Church. I told myself when I started going that if I liked the people and the preaching, I would stay. Well, I love the people and I love the style of preaching. However, I don't like the politic's which are starting to rear it's ugly head. I don't believe in religion's isolating themselve's to only other's of that specific doctrine. Why can't Catholic's, Baptist, Methodist, and so on work together as one to help the country and world. Why don't all religion's that claim Christianity band together to make this world a better place.

My mom and I were talking on our way home today and she spoke about formally joining the church. I said what do you mean by formally joining, I have never formally joined. I have been attending this church for almost a year and feel as though I am a member. She said "no, you have to ask to officially become a member, the pastor takes it to the board and make's a decision" Well that just doesn't make sense to me. Why is it another political process? I am a member!! I enjoy the fellowship and the principle's of teaching. I refuse to become an "official member". Do you think Jesus would have done it this way? No, church is a community of people that come together to worship the Lord and enjoy fellowship with other Christian's. That's it. Period!!! ARRGHHHHH!

On the adoption front of thing's, I am hoping to start my new job soon! I hope! And be able to save quickly within a few month's for the entire adoption cost's. It is really going to wear on me, but I know it will be so worth it in the end. I am going to work full-time teaching and then an extra 12 hours a week as a FNP in an ER. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, come on people chant with me!!!

On another note, I have been reading and keeping up on a lady's blog that is right now in Ethiopia adopting a HIV Positive little girl. She has stage 4 AIDS and has been quite ill. The mother needs to get her back here quickly to have her hospitalized, so that proper therapy can begin and this little one can become healthy. She is 8 and only weigh's 32 lbs. Please keep her in your prayer's. They are going through a lot.

I received an e-mail yesterday from the pastor in Zambia that helps out families in the compound's (the orphan's and widow's). I e-mailed him my sermon to let him know I had done it and that I was trying to get support for them from families financially. This is what he wrote:

Thank you so much for sending me your new email address. I have being trying to contact you for a long time. I have read your sermon and I can assure you it is one of the best sermons I have ever come across. I have made some few copies to some of the widows and orphans in our Church and some of them could not hold their tears back when they read the sermon. I just hope that some of the people you preached to will also have the same heart of thinking of the suffering widows and orphans here in Africa especially those who are suffering from HIV and AIDS. Marry,Terry and the other girls and everybody else are fine. We are praying for you day and night. May God bless you and all your Church members. We love you.


How awesome is that, this man and his church have nothing, literally. They have no running water, sleep on dirt floors every night, most don't eat daily (including the children) and he. pray's for my family and his church pray's for our church in America. He pray's for us and his congregation pray's for us and they have never asked what doctrine we are. I am telling you these people are the best people I have ever met in my life. Sometime's I think they are the lucky one's compared to American's. They live so simply and are poor, but they have a true community, one that helps other's no matter how much you have yourself. They love the Lord and show more Christian value's and attitude's than any of us could hope for.

I may be doing surgery "literally"

For those of you that know me, SCARY huh!!! I have been discussing a job offer with the lead Pediatric Cardio-Thoracic Surgeon on the east coast. He practices at West Virginia University. I am soooooo excited about this opportunity, just wish I had found out about it much earlier, so if I take this job, I will have to quit my teaching job, but will have to at least finish out the fall semester so that they will have time to find a replacement.

I would be seeing patient's 1/2 the time in the clinic and the other 1/2 would be assisting Dr. Gus in the OR. This is my dream job. Those of you that know me know that ped's is my true love. And congenital heart's are my second love (in medicine anyway). For three year's I handled all the pedi medical and trauma patient's in a level one trauma center and I really miss working with the "little people". They are so much better to work with than "big people".

All you big meanie big people suck:)

Get ready, Pre-school, the "Man" is coming.

Well, we got the call we've been waiting for the other day. Manning got accepted to pre-school. Man they do not even know what they have just done! His older brother's went to this school and they were angel's. Manning, however has spent his little life in the presence of two teen-aged brother's and he is like a four year old in an 18 year-old body. He think he knows everything and like a typical 'taly, will argue his point to the death. He even argue's bible stories. I read them to him and he says "no, that's not it happened....it was like this....." He argues with his bible school teacher also. Poor Ms. Deb, one day she was teaching about Jesus dying on the cross and she said he grabbed her chin with his hands and exclaimed "JESUS DID NOT DIE" Pretty much there is no arguing with the "Man".

Dossier ready and I-171H in hand

Well, my dossier is ready to go out, too bad I don't have the money to send it out however. We also received our I-171H the other day for our Ethiopian adoption. Court's are getting ready to close in Ethiopia for like two or three month's. I am supposed to be working my part-time job as a NP at WVU but the crendentialing process is a night-mare. Hopefully everything will be done soon and I will be on my way to making adoption money.

I spent the last two day's babysitting my two year old niece and dude! I forget how exhausting a toddler is. She was here for two hours and I called Mike and told him I was already worn out. I needed to take a shower and couldn't figure out what to do with her while I did. So I ended up showering with her and the four-year old. Do you know how difficult it is to shower with two toddler's? Pretty tough I tell ya! We swam, showered, took a walk, and ended the day with ice cream, then her mother took her away and I passed out! Bye Isabella, had fun, and love you, but don't come back for a while :)

"I am a Preacher" NOT!!!

OK, so I finally did my orphan and widow sermon at church last Sunday. I even sang a really beautiful song by Sarah Groves (sorry, Sarah). I have been so nervous about doing this sermon and kept putting it off every week so last Sunday I told Keith I had to just suck it up and do it and I'm glad I did. All I have to say is "God bless preachers" Took me four month's to write it and two mo.'s to get up the nerve to do it. It must have been OK, though, because Mike cried during it and he is never emotional. Mike took the whole family out to eat after the service. He said it wasn't every day that his wife preached, you know.

Well, here it is and now that my nerves have been worked out I hope to do it at other area churches also.

It's not OK with me that there are over 145 million orphans in the world

It's not OK with me that the poorest of the poor in America are among the 9% richest in the world

It's not OK with me that there are 45 million orphans on the continent of Africa alone

It's not OK with me that 3/4 of the world lives on less than one dollar a day

It's not OK with me that 3/4 of the world does not have a toilet, not even a pit latrine

It's not OK with me that 6500 Africans die each day, 1500 each month (the same amount as were killed by the tsunami) from HIV

It's not OK with me that more non-christians donate to AIDs and orphan charities than do Christians

It's not OK with me to withhold lifesaving ARV's out of deference to the office of patents

It's not OK with me that Where you live determine's whether you live

It's not OK with me that every fourteen seconds another child is orphaned by HIV/AIDS

It's not OK with me that the church has been slow to respond to the modern day Leprosy of our time

It's not OK with me that 2,102,400 more children become orphans each year(in Africa alone)

It's not OK with me that In Ukraine and Russia 10% -15% of children who age out of an orphanage commit suicide before age 18.

It's not OK with me that every hour one thousand children die from HIV/AIDS


I think you get the point, or at least some of it.

I am here today to talk about God's love of the poor, the orphans, the widows, the strangers of the world.

I am here to talk about what you can do to make a difference in the world and in the life of a child by following God's word

I am here to tell you that the nameless and faceless orphan found in these statistics is by no means nameless or faceless to God

Psalm 139:13-14 says

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.


Mostly I am here to deliver the message of our Lord that Caring for the least; a major ingredient of Biblical Christianity has been forgotten by the church. I want to ignite this fire within each and everyone of you today.

Throughout scripture and throughout the history of his people, God has called his chosen one's to spend themselves on behalf of the poor, the oppressed, the orphan, the widow, the prisoner, and the stranger in the land.

In fact, caring for the orphan is mentioned over 40 times in the scripture. Poverty is mentioned over 2100 times. Now that's a lot of airtime my friends.


Galatians 6;2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ

James 1;27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted from the world

Mathew 25;40 The king will reply, I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

Mathew 18;10-14

See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my father in heaven. What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.


The gospel that I believe in offers a cup of cold water in Jesus' name. The only gospel worth living is the one that incarnates love. The only gospel worth giving our lives for is the one that elevates the needs of others above our own. That's what the good news is all about folks.


History will judge our generation by how we responded to those in need. History will judge the church by how it responded to those in need We have the opportunity to show the world just what it truly means to be Christ-followers.


You and I can make a difference. Someone once told me when I first wanted to adopt that I couldn't change the world. Well I happen to disagree. With God at my side anything is possible and you and I can change the world. We change the world when we lead with compassion and move from apology to action. And out of action springs hope- and out of hope, life. So for our mistakes, I am sorry. But for our potential, for the impact you and I can have on a world in need....I am hopeful.


Our adoption by God cost us nothing. However it did cost God something; it cost him his son. The high fees and costs for adoption today are indefensible, but they are not inconceivable. Adoption is costly. Whether in the realm of finances, emotions, relationships, time, or effort, adoption will cost.


But think of what it cost God, and yet he was willing to undergo that cost. And not simply undergo it but to undergo it with joy.


I have heard so many comments from people about adoptions and the ones that stun me the most are from Christians, like, Well can't you have anymore children? Why don't you just have another child? Oh it's not that we don't want you to adopt but we just feel sorry for that poor black child being raised in a white family. You don't have the money. You will be taking away from your kids now. Oh do you really want to do that to yourself.


First, yes I can have more children. and I don't know why people find it so hard to believe that I want to give a child a home that needs one.


And the sacrifice? Well taking care of one God's orphans is the least I can do to repay the price he paid for me. We were not put on this earth to get by with the least possible. We were put on this earth to serve the Lord. Through adoption, I am serving the Lord. I don't expect it to be easy.


And about the poor black child being raised by a white family as opposed to not eating every day, sleeping on dirt, and suffering from needless illnesses, I think living with a white family may not be ideal, but we are all God's children. God adopted all of us, black, white, chinese, indian. We are all God's children. He did not think twice about adopting us.


It was more difficult for God to adopt anyone of us than it would ever be for me to take care of one of his children. We were not a cute little puppy, looking for a Father. No we were evil and putrid and we were repulsive. Some of us would reject him forever, some of us would never want to know his love or grace and yet he still adopted all of us, even if only one would ever love him and come to know him. Can you imagine dying for someone that would reject you and that you knew would reject you? How many of us would do that?


The adoption journey is not an easy one, but every hour of toil, every obstacle encountered, every tear shed, every sleepless night---all are but a shadow of the price that God paid for us. Jesus came to be a ransom for many, and if god was willing to pay that ransom for us, how much more will he be willing to lead us in ransoming his beloved children from their state as orphans? And it is his love that compels us onward in obedience, whatever the cost, for he who calls us is faithful. Our god who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, who is rich in mercy and grace, who generously provides for all that we need, this god knows the costs we will incur, and promises to be with us and for us every step of the way. This is about faith in action. This is an invitation to experience god in ways we've never experienced him before. In Matthew, Jesus says, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." God's heart is invested in adoption. Let us view the costs, both known and unknown, as an invitation for us to invest our resources, and therefore our hearts into the things of god.


You know I used to think the same way, that going to church, living right, praying, and talking to the Lord was enough, but the scripture tells us that faith is not enough. Faith without deeds is dead. It's like a quarter with only one side. Faith on one side and deeds on the other. You can spend it unless you have both.


Bono tells a story of a wise man that changed his life. He told this man that he was always seeking the Lord's blessing when he had a new song, had a family to look after, or a crazy idea. The wise man said " Stop. Stop asking God to bless what you are doing. Get involved in what God is doing-because it is already blessed."

Well, God as I said is with the orphaned and the poor and the widows. That I believe is what God is doing. And that is what he is calling us to do.


I have often heard people talk of seeing the face of god in the poor. I never really understood it until the Lord sent me to zambia with his own intentions in mind. Well let me tell you my friends that the orphans, the widows, the poor, the sick and oppressed is where god said he would be and it's there that you will truly experience him, see him, touch him, and walk with him.

You see, I started off on this adoption journey with God in mind and with the intention of serving the Lord. Well it grew to become about me. I wanted a 3 to 4 month little girl. I took clothes for a baby this age. I had my baby room finished before I left for Africa. My initial purpose of serving God had indeed turned into serving myself. I was no longer letting the Lord be in control, but was rather taking things into my own hands. God is tricky and quickly reminded me that He is in control and not I. I fell in love with many children. I held a baby that was four month's old and weighed only a pound and a half. I tried to feed this child at an orphanage for two days. I knew this child was not going to live. I was given many children and had all of them taken away. I fell totally in love with every single one of them. My purpose as I was later to find out, was not to adopt at this point, but to be shown more of God's face and will in my life. I now understand that this experience with all these children was God's answer to my cry for more of Him in my life. When I saw them, I was seeing Him, when I touched them I was touching the Lord, when I was showing these children love, I was showing Him love. Being close to the hurting, the lonely, the poor and needy- caring for the orphan-was the piece I was missing in my fellowship with God.






I know that 40 million is an unconceivable number to comprehend. Sometimes we hear the numbers and they are too overwhelming. I want you to think about this number for a while. Think about 40 million children going to bed at night without a kiss from a mom or dad, 40 million children that will never have anyone teach them how to ride a bike, rejoice with them every time they make an A on their spelling test, cheer them on in their soccer game, 40 million children with no mommy or daddy. I also know that as a Christian not one of you would purposely ignore the grave statistics. Sometimes the sheer magnitude of the numbers is just too much to handle so we block it out and go about with our lives. It's so easy to just turn the channel instead of watching the two year old with big brown eyes and a swollen belly. But I am asking you right now. right now if I told you that there was one child depending on you, one child that needed you, would you say no. As a Christian could you say no I won't help. I don't think you would. If you knew there was one child in the world that needed you, I think you would reach out and do whatever you could to help.


So don't tell me that I can't change the world. I along with everyone in here can change the world. My God is bigger than the 145 million orphans in the world. My God is bigger than the HIV/AIDS crisis. How about your God. If you think you can't change the world by helping one child then you are wrong. That one child is one of God's chosen ones, destined for greatness. If you think you can't change the world by helping only one child, why don't you ask that child, because I guarantee you would change that child's world. So I am asking each and everyone of you today to let this hurt into your heart. You can take this message and turn it off just like you do the TV shows or you can let the hurt in, feel it in your heart and decide to make a difference in the world. A difference in one of God's miracles, the lesser.


So I am asking you today to not only let this hurt into your heart but also to act on it. Turn your faith into a faith with action. I am asking you not only to believe in God, but to also walk the walk. You don't have to adopt a child to help out, but someone in your church, or family, or neighborhood may feel the calling for adoption. This family may not have the financial resources to adopt. Support that family financially. Start an orphan ministry within your church to support families that feel called to adopt. Support a child through a christian foundation for 30 dollars a month. Go on a mission trip to an orphanage and teach the children about God. Tell them that even though they feel all alone in this world that they are God's chosen ones and he will not forsake them.

Ethiopia Here We Come, hopefully

Well, we have decided to adopt from Ethiopia. This was our original country we were going to adopt from until a lady talked us into going to Zambia. Well, in December, adoptions were suspended in Zambia and no one knew how long it would take for them to re-open. We found out yesterday that the suspension was lifted but no one knows for sure the stipulation's with the new procedure.

We have signed with Hope Adoption Agency out of Missouri. We think this is a great agency. We have NO MONEY for this adoption, but are just stepping out in faith that the Lord will provide. I just got a part-time job as a Nurse Practitioner at in the ER at WVU Hospital. I currently teach nursing at Fairmont State University and make less than an RN (Pretty sad!) but it is worth it to be able to have a lot of time off with the kids and summer's free. This part time job will hopefully fund our adoption. I am going to be working full time in the summer and one 12 hour shift per week when I am teaching. I am also doing orphan sermon's around our area, selling textbook's on Amazon, and selling baby clothes at a consignment shop as a way to fundraise for the adoption.

We have decided to tell no one about this adoption until our child actually arrives. I think that's the only way we will believe it is happening also. After the disaster in Zambia we thought it would be safer to tell no one yet.