There is a breaking point in each of us, when the ordinary can no longer fool you as being extraordinary. When that moment happens, there is a choice, continue with the ordinary and hope that reality never seeps in far enough to distract you from the farce, or, you pack your bags and move to California.
I came out of the womb performing...my poor mom, that must have been a painful experience. I could just see it now, "Ma'm, don't be alarmed, it's a perfectly healthy little baby girl and she has all ten fingers and toes, but she also somehow got a top hat and cane and seems to be singing show tunes in your uterus." Luckily I was c-sectioned so they probably were able to work around that, but if I came out naturally...ouch... I mean OUCH!
I always knew the day would come when I would pack up my life and move on to "greener pastures" but I never knew exactly how it would come to be. I'll never forget, when I was a freshman in high school I was certain I would be famous by 16. I was going to write Oprah and tell her about all the hardships I'd faced in 14 years and how if she'd just help me meet the right people I was convinced I would make her proud. I even bet Elliott Holte that I would be (rightfully so that Elliott doubted me, at the time I had short red hair and braces and wasn't exactly leading lady material) famous by 16 or I would pay him $20.00. Elliott, if you ever read this, I'm sorry, I'm a little short right now, check in with me in about five years, I'm good for it. Hey Elliott, remember when our parents thought we'd get married, gosh that was sooo long ago and it feels like only yesterday. Wow, tangent.
Okay, so when did this dream become a reality you ask? I don't really know exactly, I guess it was a couple years in the making to be quite honest. I got accepted to Chapman after my first two years of college and I thought for sure that would be my starting point. Nope. Couldn't afford it, I could have done student loans and paid them off until I was 90, but I decided against that...call me crazy. So, instead, I spent the next two years having people tell me I was talented and should move to California, talk about salt in the wounds.
I ended up at Washington State University, GO COUGS!! I immediately found solace with the student-run production company, Cable 8 Productions. My second week at school I heard they were holding open auditions for various programs shown on Cable 8. I auditioned for two, the first was a show called Video Underground and was essentially the MTV of Pullman Washington (if you don't know where Pullman is, that's quite alright, google it.) The second, a comedy show called After Hours, they were looking for a comedy news host, parodied after SNL's weekend update. I had never been on an audition in my life, and although in hindsight, this was a relatively small audition, at the time I felt like it was the beginning of great things. I got a call back for Video Underground that night, and they wanted an answer, now, we all know how much I love music and that I am a walking jukebox, but something told me to hold out and see if I got the comedy news host, for some reason I knew that's where I was supposed to end up. I don't think I got the call that I got After Hours until the next day, and it would be a dire understatement for me to say that I was excited...diiiire.
However, I didn't realize that part of the job description was that I was responsible for writing my own material. Now, I've always been referred to as funny, and I can usually make people laugh, but writing my own material for even a two-minute segment proved itself to be much harder than I anticipated. Needless to say, the first episode was shit and I realized quite quickly that I was maybe in over my head. Luckily however, this guy came up to me at the first episode taping and was offering me some advice, this striking young gentleman's name was (and still is) James Katica, and people, this kid is going places. Anyhoo, long story short, James ended up coming on board and saving my ass and we both ended up winning the coveted Edward R. Murrow School of Communication Best Talent Award for our respected genders.
After that, there was no turning back for me, even the tiniest taste, like when you first touch the tip of your tongue to a really great piece of chocolate, that's what it was like, I immediately wanted to eat the entire bar. I joined a Gospel Choir, God's Harmony which was filled with some of the most amazing people God ever placed on this earth, and I got to feed that creative hunger as well. My last year at WSU was filled with radio shows with the overtly talented Andrew Lyle (who is a future roomie of mine) Broadcast 465 (essentially broadcasting the news five nights a week trading off between anchoring, weather, sports anchor and producing) with Kate Yeager. Now, I need to take a second to give Ms. Yeager a shout out. Kate Yeager is the kind of person that inspires you, she inspires you to be the best person you can be, she's the kind of person who inspires you to see your talent, your worth and she wants nothing more than to help people obtain their goals. I am so lucky to get to have her in my life and as a roomie as well. Oops, another tangent, this may happen a lot.
Okay, so during my final semester, I decided I was moving to California, I had bitten off too much chocolate to turn back now, but I needed to find a tangible reason to move down here. Telling my mom, "hey thanks for paying to put me through college but I'm going to move to California to try and be an actress" probably wasn't going to fly. See, but the great thing about the degree I chose (Broadcast News) was that I learned how to use a camera, how to hit my marks, how to produce, how to edit and how to write. So, although I may not be working for a new station right now, pushing my own equipment, writing AND editing my own stories and making about $19,000 a year, I AM still using the skills I learned in college. Anyhoo, so I started looking at internships. Looking back now, I was ballsy in regards to where I applied, NBC Universal, Warner Brothers, and Sony. Now, I had not even a thread of experience in the positions I was applying for, nor did I major in them. That didn't seem to matter to me though, because I just kept applying, I must have applied at NBC Universal no joke, about 15 times and unfortunately only received emails thanking me for applying...you're welcome...soo welcome NBC. After about three months of applying aimlessly, I received an email for Sony Pictures Television International (SPTI) Networks Marketing Team informing me they were starting to fill their summer internship positions and asked for my availability. I immediately ran upstairs in my sorority to one of the phone booths and called a Lissette Garcia informing her I would be down in California to visit my best friend Erin on my Spring Break and would love, (a huge emphasis on love) to be given the opportunity to meet with them.
So, I went down to visit Erin for Spring Break, and the only thing I could think about was the interview. I had rewritten my cover letter six times, revised my resume and put on every "impressive" point I could think of. I even went out and bought a folder to put everything in, as we know, presentation is everything. I even printed out the entire history of Sony Pictures and the important people, like Amy Pascal and so on. I wept as I pulled up to the old MGM lot and made my way toward the building I would be interviewed in. This was the beginning of every single thing I had ever dreamed of and I was borderline speechless but was able to pull myself together enough to have what I felt was a great interview. However, I didn't hear as to whether or not I got the internship until three months afterward, because I wasn't going to start until the summer, they couldn't tell me whether or not I had gotten it until the summer. Which means, I couldn't get an apartment, I couldn't plan on moving down there at all until I heard from Sony. Finally, I heard from them that I got it and I called my mom sobbing, my mom was so excited she couldn't even talk, she actually hung up on me and immediately tried to start finding an apartment.
We ended up flying down for two days and had to find an apartment within those two days. Now, you may not know me, and you may not know my mother, but we are both VERY driven, outspoken and can sometimes be described as "intense." The two of us trying to find an apartment in an area we had never visited before in two days...the very definition of intense, and we both became very tense. We were able to find an apartment in a great neighborhood behind the house of these very nice people who had already promised it to someone else, they had signed a lease and everything...ahhh, the power of Suzy. I flew back home knowing I had to say goodbye to everything I had every known over the course of two weeks and start the journey of pursuing my dreams. Now, I grew up in a environment where everyone knew each other, 1/4 of the people I graduated high school with (my graduating class was a whopping 45 people and was the biggest class Seattle Lutheran ever had) I had been going to school with since the first grade. I lived in a house with 65 women for two years, and now, well now I was moving to the second largest city in the country (that may not be accurate, guessing) all by myself to try and accomplish to what some may believe to be impossible.
The first two months were the hardest, I had a bullshit job at Starbucks that I thought would be a warm fuzzy thing (being from Seattle and all) but ended up consisting of rude tourists who wouldn't tip, a completely understaffed staff, and homeless men who would stick their penises in the communal milk. No, I'm not making that up. Ask me about it sometime. Thank goodness I had my internship and got to be on the lot three days a week, which kind of was like being in a kid in a candy store and getting to smell all the candy, and maybe even opening the wrapper but being told I couldn't actually taste the candy. I did however get to meet Charlize Theron (beautiful, very tall, tiiiny calves), I made sufficient eye contact with Jake Gyllenhal..yum, and got to hear the Governator speak. It was an amazing experience, but I knew right away Networks Marketing was not for me, I couldn't have gotten a job at Sony anyway, my internship wrapped right in the middle of the WGA strike and they were actually firing people...not hiring them.
During this time, I started taking classes at The Acting Corps in North Hollywood. I was borderline depressed that I was down there and wasn't getting to even remotely pursue what I went down there for. Needless to say, I fell in love with the teaching methods, the environment and who I was allowing myself to become. I also quite my job at Starbucks and got a job at The Spa at Palazzo West, I will write an entire blog on my experience at The Palazzo West...stay tuned.
So, I completed Boot Camp I at The Acting Corps and was invited to Boot Camp II. As amazing as my experience was in Boot Camp I, Boot Camp II exceeded my every expectation. Furthermore I met the people that I am now the closest with down here. Jordan-Lee, Derron, Lindsay, Dylan, Rico all of you made such an impact on me during that time and I love all of you. So, Boot Camp II ended and I was between a rock and a hard place. I had no choice but to take time off between Boot Camp II and The Advanced Program for financial reasons. That was kind of a dark point. I started working in the leasing office at The Palazzo, but I was still really unhappy working there, I was actually getting a substantial amount of auditions at that point but couldn't ever go on them because I was working 40 hours a week. All of my friends were busy with auditioning or working and there were some very serious family problems going on as well. I realized very quickly I needed to eradicate all of this, so, I quite my job at The Palazzo (which I should have done months prior) and started nannying. I got an agent, and then ended meeting the owner of Diverse Media Group, who was so unbelievably nice, he got me an audition with their commercial department. I was given the green light, however I never signed a contract and have never been sent on a single audition...so, in hindsight, I don't know how great that's been.
I started the Advanced Program in May and have been loving every single second of it. I have come so far in the last six months than I have in the last six years. Over the last year, I have pushed every limit I ever had, I have learned more about myself and my capabilities than I ever thought possible. I can say now, with utmost confidence, with the skills I've developed and the person I've allowed myself to become over the last year, the kid who was born singing show tunes would be incredibly proud of the woman who's going for the impossible.
Not a second of any of this so far would have feasible if I didn't have the most amazing mom in the whole world who gave up everything for me to get to be who I've always hoped to be, doing what I've always dreamed of. My entire family has been nothing but supportive and I'm so grateful to get to call you my family. I'll see you all in December.
(For you writers, fear not, this is a rough draft, once I get a little time it will be revised and probably expanded upon.)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
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