Vacation...in every sense of the word

According to my trusty tickers below, it is 4 days until our va-ca in Barbados...and now 14 months officially waiting for our call.

I've decided not to check in with our facilitator this month. I don't know when I'll check in next. I do know that if I call before we go away, it will just be the same thing...it's been really slow, your profile hasn't been shown this month, we're going to start some really cool advertising!....blah, blah, blah. I'm taking a vacation from facilitator non-news! Ahhhhh....

I'm going to enjoy my getaway with T and celebrate being married for 10 years.

Wanted: rock to crawl under or bubble to rent for weekend

Here is a pity party post, just to warn you....so, it's Mother's Day weekend. It's right up there with Christmas, Halloween, and any other family or child-oriented holiday in my book. Actually, I didn't even really dread it this year, until....I sent my sister, sister-in-law and friends who are all moms a really cute video I found online about being "Mother of the Year". As I received the e-mails thanking me for the Mother's Day wishes and the cute video, a sadness came over me knowing that the wishes could not be reciprocated. And maybe I sensed it (or imagined it) in the emails from my friends...an awkwardness or uncomfortable words from my friends who know how long we've been waiting for a child.

I'm done with thinking that this is the last Mother's Day without our baby. I've thought that every Mother's Day for the last 9 years. I definitely believed that last year, because at that time we had become paper pregnant only two months prior.

This seems to be the safest place I can vent about it. Reminders of infertility are difficult, to say the least. This holiday is obviously a big reminder.

Despite the theme of this post, I am very happy for all of the wonderful moms I have "met" through my blog, especially the many new moms who are celebrating their first Mother's Day. Enjoy your special day. It was hard and long fought for and you deserve every good wish you receive on Sunday.

Antidotes for everything but the swine flu

Just wanted to share this excerpt I borrowed from my yoga studio's monthly newsletter. I think that much of it applies to "the wait".

Human problems and antidotes...

Old Problem: Being a Victim
Antidote: Take Full Responsibility for Everything. Accept that YOU chose all your life experiences to give you exactly the lessons you most need.

Old Problem: Lack of Abundance
Antidote: Be Grateful for Everything Around You. Gratitude turns around Lack.

Old Problem: Anger
Antidote: Try huge doses of Compassion and Love. Realize that everyone is doing the best they can with the awareness they are given in each moment. Put yourself in their shoes for awhile.

Old Problem: Difficulties & Struggle
Antidote: Learn to see the gifts and lessons in them. They are always present.

Old Problem: Resentment & Envy
Antidote: Be grateful that anyone is experiencing something positive. If it happens to others, it opens the door for it to happen to you.

Old Problem: Frustration over Delays & Obstacles
Antidote: Trust the Perfection of the Timing. We can't force our way through to a state of Right Time, Right Place. Remember the lessons of water: how when there's a hole in its path, it takes awhile to fill up the hole before the water can go on. Or how when water meets an obstacle, it will keep flowing until it finds a way around the blockage. While you are waiting for the big breakthrough, keep making little breakthroughs.

Old Problem: Loneliness
Antidote: Create a good relationship with yourself. Start expressing your love and respect to everyone and everything around you. It doesn't matter if it's "animate" or "inanimate". Everything has a consciousness and resonance. As the Beatles sang, "The love you take is equal to the love you make."

Old Problem: Thinking Too Much; Worrying
Antidote: Get physical. Walk, clean, dance, garden, clear out your closet, do yoga, shovel snow.

Old Problem: Being Self-Absorbed; Self-Conscious
Antidote: Help others. By serving others, we serve ourselves.

Old Problem: Energies Too Directed Outside of Yourself
Antidote: Serve yourself. By serving ourself, we serve others.

Old Problem: Low Self Esteem
Antidote: Turn the place where you live into a sacred temple honoring your Core Being. Set up an altar, not to Gods and spiritual guides, but to your Core Being. Surround yourself with colors, objects, music, flowers which nourish you.