My heart broke a little this morning when I glanced away from my car thermometer reading of 5 degrees to see the (60-something-year-old?) woman who sells tamales day in and day out on the side of 800 North in Provo.
And it broke some more when I drove past her again 6 hours of sub-20 degree temps later, this time pulling her heavy cart through the ice and snow.
And I almost started crying on the spot when she greeted me with "mi nina linda" and refused my offer to help with the cart because it was "demasiado pesado" to put in my car and her destination was "demasiado lejos" to allow me to pull it myself while Zoe waited in the car.
That was before she gave me a hug, kissed me on the cheek, and sent me on my way.
When Zoe asked me why we didn't help her, I didn't know what to say: because we weren't enough? because she's strong enough by herself? because too often we can only see the obvious burdens that others carry and are blind to the ones that are actually crushing?
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Provo Canyon
Lately I've been doing 10-mile runs every weekend up Provo Canyon. It is good for body and soul. I have been meaning to take pictures of its gorgeousness but haven't had a chance till today. At first I thought it was too late because all of the pretty leaves were basically gone. But I was surprised at the beauty that remained.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Exhale
Wasn't Exhale the name of a really bad movie I never saw? In any case, I feel like I'm breathing out for the first time in, oh, almost a year?
Today was the culmination of a few months of especially intense stress and I feel particularly crazy today, but I think it might do me well to just list what has been going on with us during the last 12 months to remind myself that my life is not always like this and there is an actual reason (quite a few, in fact!) that I'm feeling this way.
Since last spring, we:
Today was the culmination of a few months of especially intense stress and I feel particularly crazy today, but I think it might do me well to just list what has been going on with us during the last 12 months to remind myself that my life is not always like this and there is an actual reason (quite a few, in fact!) that I'm feeling this way.
Since last spring, we:
- Bought a new house (after a long drawn-out process of loan underwriting, figuring out whether we could legally rent our old one, etc.)
- Got two places (our old house and our new basement apartment) ready to rent and found renters
- Immediately started teaching a class at BYU in addition to my normal full-time job. We weren't even done moving in yet (let's be honest--still aren't)
- Painted a couple of rooms of our house and some of the gazebo in the backyard
- Josh left on (more) trips to Alaska. When he was home, he was editing like mad
- Josh started doing some corporate work on top of Alaska stuff
- We went through tax insanity
- Josh became involved in a yet-to-be-disclosed third project on top of Alaska doc and corporate work--a project that requires even more travel, more editing, and insane deadlines. Basically, Josh hasn't had a normal week of sleep in literally three months now.
- I applied for and was offered a new job, which after wrenching deliberation, I turned down. I pressed to expand my role at my current job.
- I did Easter and Zoe's birthday on my own.
- I threw a peacock party for Zoe for lots of little kids (funny how this one is obviously smaller than pretty much everything else on the list, but was psychologically overwhelming because Josh was out of town during the planning and execution of it and I'm used to his help).
As I look at this list, it actually doesn't look as bad as it has felt, but I have to remind myself that it takes everything I have in me just to fit a normal day of full-time work and kid raising into 24 hours. Like I'm doing extremely well if I can do the dishes the day they were dirtied and get a 30 minute run in. Add anything else to the schedule and it's, well, crisis mode.
Knock on wood, but I think crisis mode is over for now. And I'm really, really looking forward to lying by a pool somewhere, to eating leisurely breakfasts and dinners in the gazebo, to having people over for low-key dinners, to, I don't know, have time to talk to my husband, to getting all the way unpacked and organized--and actually tackling some of the house projects that call out to me at every turn--and to just hanging out with my kids and soaking up their too quickly progressing childhoods.
And I'm determined to figure out how to stay out of crisis mode for longer. I know we need to say "no" more, but figuring out the particulars of what that means is tricky. But so worth it.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Parenthood Juggle
I guest posted over at Doves and Serpents today on how I came to be in the career I'm in and how I juggle it with parenthood. At least I'm posting somewhere!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The house
Okay, I'm finally ready to start blogging about the house! (Though I'm sure that won't be the only thing that I'll be blogging about in the near future.)
Lots of what I'm sure are boring details first, but I'll get to pictures soon!
Last spring, my mom mentioned that she had seen a house for sale by owner on Stadium Avenue. I didn't think too much of it (if you know my mom, you know that she is constantly on the hunt for houses) because it sounded like it was out of our price range and we had already put an offer in on a house (a short sale) in the tree streets with a large basement apartment.
But then we saw the house. As soon as we walked out the front door, Josh said "so how do we put in an offer"? That may surprise you when you see the pictures of the house as it looked on our first walk through. It was owned by a woman in her 90s and had not been updated (other than carpet in a few rooms and things like new windows, AC, furnace, etc.) since she and her husband had built it in 1975. But we saw potential! Good bones, plenty of room, and an AMAZING backyard. Also a great location--close to my parents, closer to my office, close to shopping, close to BYU . . . and yes, close to the stadium, but my sister's in-laws lived across the street, so we knew what to expect there and weren't concerned. And, like the tree streets house, it also had a basement apartment.
But there wasn't a separate apartment meter, which from the research I had done meant we wouldn't be able to count income from the apartment when applying for our loan. And there didn't seem to be any way we'd sell our house in time either. Then three things happened: I got a raise, we got news that the covenant that prevented us renting our house (which we had bought through a city redevelopment program) was being lifted, and a check came in for Josh for just about the exact amount we needed for a down payment and to pay off the city loan on our house, which would allow us to rent. All of the sudden it seemed like it was meant to be.
We got approved for the loan (without even counting the rental income, as it turned out), got our old house rented hours after we posted it on KSL, and closed August 1! We had until August 20 to get our now two rentals ready and move. That was a crazy 20 days. And then BYU had someone drop out from teaching a class I used to teach at the last minute, so I agreed to take it on. Needless to say, very little happened on the house for the next four months and we're still making up for lost time. But it's a fun project!
We feel so lucky that all of this worked out, though we do really miss our old neighborhood. But we're loving the house and especially loving the room we have to entertain, which we need to start doing more often! If you're in Provo during July, plan on being invited to a massive fourth of July part at our house (perfect view of fireworks) that may even include camping in the backyard so as to not have to fight traffic afterwards.
Lots of what I'm sure are boring details first, but I'll get to pictures soon!
Last spring, my mom mentioned that she had seen a house for sale by owner on Stadium Avenue. I didn't think too much of it (if you know my mom, you know that she is constantly on the hunt for houses) because it sounded like it was out of our price range and we had already put an offer in on a house (a short sale) in the tree streets with a large basement apartment.
But then we saw the house. As soon as we walked out the front door, Josh said "so how do we put in an offer"? That may surprise you when you see the pictures of the house as it looked on our first walk through. It was owned by a woman in her 90s and had not been updated (other than carpet in a few rooms and things like new windows, AC, furnace, etc.) since she and her husband had built it in 1975. But we saw potential! Good bones, plenty of room, and an AMAZING backyard. Also a great location--close to my parents, closer to my office, close to shopping, close to BYU . . . and yes, close to the stadium, but my sister's in-laws lived across the street, so we knew what to expect there and weren't concerned. And, like the tree streets house, it also had a basement apartment.
But there wasn't a separate apartment meter, which from the research I had done meant we wouldn't be able to count income from the apartment when applying for our loan. And there didn't seem to be any way we'd sell our house in time either. Then three things happened: I got a raise, we got news that the covenant that prevented us renting our house (which we had bought through a city redevelopment program) was being lifted, and a check came in for Josh for just about the exact amount we needed for a down payment and to pay off the city loan on our house, which would allow us to rent. All of the sudden it seemed like it was meant to be.
We got approved for the loan (without even counting the rental income, as it turned out), got our old house rented hours after we posted it on KSL, and closed August 1! We had until August 20 to get our now two rentals ready and move. That was a crazy 20 days. And then BYU had someone drop out from teaching a class I used to teach at the last minute, so I agreed to take it on. Needless to say, very little happened on the house for the next four months and we're still making up for lost time. But it's a fun project!
We feel so lucky that all of this worked out, though we do really miss our old neighborhood. But we're loving the house and especially loving the room we have to entertain, which we need to start doing more often! If you're in Provo during July, plan on being invited to a massive fourth of July part at our house (perfect view of fireworks) that may even include camping in the backyard so as to not have to fight traffic afterwards.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
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