good article

My lovely daughter sent me this article... she knows me and just how I have been feeling lately... It's almost like i wrote this myself....
https://saltyrachel.com/blog//im-not-a-mormon-anymore-but-im-still-a-member-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints

Sometimes your daughter knows just what you need......

Hi again.. Sarah sent a link to this article to me this morning...it's a really good read.  I have struggled with my testimony since being called as a Yw's president a few years ago.( I have since been released and am enjoying being the nursery leader. Those little 2 to 3 year olds are the little angels from heaven that I needed in my life at this time…)  but back to what I was talking about I I started questioning everything. I'm slowly starting to rebuild it (my testimony of things in general) A good friend once told me when you question things start at the beginning and go with what you do know. That's what I did. Right now I am finding that  I need to learn to put my trust in God and Christ. I had an amazing experience last summer when Jim had his cancer scare... but I had an answer to my prayers and had an experience so sweet I can not forget it. But I learned from that that I need to learn to trust God and our Savior... I guess rather than anxious heart felt prayers to make things better... I needed to learn to say "Thy will be done... just help me thru it" and Trust that he would be there and would help me thru it.  I am still working on that.... but this article quotes one of my favorite scriptures....

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me…for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11: 28-30)

https://lemmonythings.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/

I just wanted to share and hoped it touched someones heart as it did mine. 

Love 

Diane

The Fall.......

Boy am I bad a blogging lately... life goes too fast. Fall came and went and with it Dads 90th birthday,  Halloween, and sister visits.
My dad turned 90 this year... who knows how many more birthdays we will help him celebrate.... I made him a cake and we played scrabble.

My parents are the cutest... and fun to play scrabble with. Every Sunday I go down and we play two games of scrabble and since my brother Gary and his wife went on a mission, we read their weekly e-mails. It's the high light of mom and dad's week and I enjoy the time and the memories I get to spend / and share with them. Love them dearly.

 I love my back yard and the sunrises and sunsets we have had lately......

 The pic below is one of my favorite... I love it when heaven ads a smile to the sky...

I love Halloween.... We all dressed up at our office this year, and I dressed up as Jack Skeleton. We had soup and treats for lunch at the office and then for dinner at home I made a Zombie foot meatloaf... It was actually delicious!

 me and my co-workers, Stephanie and Michelle.... I go all out

 My Zombie foot before and after baking.... so yummy (I sliced a garlic clove for the toenails... eww)

 And we had a spooky moon!! The clouds looked like bats. Love it!

At the first of November , Juli came to visit to surprise mom and dad. We had a sister gathering with Marilyn and Nancy too... took a few fun pictures.  Pictures say a thousand words.....

 We tried our hand at selfies.....

 Helped Dad with leaves..... Lost Nancy for a minute...

 then she came up for air....

I love my sisters....wish the other two would have been able to come too...

The pic below is what happens when you are making bacon to go with banana pancakes to serve to your sister... and you open the oven to check the bacon with glasses on......

 last shot at the airport saying goodbye...... Love you Jules.....

 now it's just me back in the old routine of life.......

 and I enjoyed the colors of Autumn while they lasted.......

Cakes and more cakes... I think I will retire

Boy looking back this year I made a ton of cakes....they are fun but take LOTS of time. My favorite thing about making cakes is the end when they're all done and see the person light up when they get them... most of the time anyway. I make them for fun and to make people happy an only charge for ingredients. BUT it started to be hard to do. It seemed every weekend I had a cake and I always have to start them in the evening during the week. So my family started feeling neglected. I decided in the long run it's not worth it. But here are some pics of my last few cakes I made this year.... Enjoy!
And there are cookies too... I did these sugar cookies to give out at Christmas and just to eat of course.

 Snowflake and trees

In January a co worker got married and we had a bridal shower for her at work... I made cupcakes in the shape of a wedding dress with a gum paste flower for decor......

Of course I had to make a cake for Andrew.... but he's not too fond of cake. He opted for Asphalt pie which is Oreo cookies for a crust and Mint chocolate chip Ice-cream.... 

 done up fancy with whipped cream and caramel of course. YUM!

At the end of January I got asked to make a cake for a lady in our ward that was turning 90 ...she wanted a snowflake themed cake in the colors of 'Frozen' this is what I came up with.... it was fun to do.....

My friend Katy Murdock has two cute kiddo's that have birthdays in February and they were having a double birthday.... Max wanted spider man and Maelee wanted Minnie Mouse... these were the funnest cakes ever to make..... Love making this size.

the next cake I did was in March... A co worker 's daughter was having a baby boy. I did this one for her baby shower....

Tuned out pretty cute I think......

Next, I got to do an "Inside Out" Cake for a friend from church's little girl, who also happens to be one of my nursery kiddo's. It was fun... but time consuming. I also did cupcakes to match.

I did these the first of March....See my year was defined by cakes so far....

Next in March comes Jim's birthday. He's my cheesecake man... Every year I can count on him to want Cheese cake.

 He couldn't decide on Raspberry sauce or Blueberry so i made both. I aim to please....I think I agree

with Jim and Andy. Cheesecake and Ice-cream are yummy!

 
At the end of March came a birthday for my friend's little girl Annisten. She wanted a Mermaid cake. So I baked and frosted the cake and the girls came over and had a fun time decorating it...

So fun... I don't think I could have done any better. 

After that cake I had a little rest.... but at the end of May I was asked to make a small wedding cake for a dear friend's son. 

I did gum paste rosebuds to go around the top. It was pretty easy to do . This started the wedding cake requests....

the next two wedding cakes I did were the same weekend, July 10th.... right after the 4th. Whew, glad I made it thru!

The first was for a co workers son

I made the Gumpaste poppies... fairly simple.

The next was for my good friend and birthday buddy...

 Cupcakes and a single their cake wrapped with fondant with real rose petals on the top... I loved the look of this one.....

At the end of July my brother Gary and his wife Carol had a farewell for their mission... they wanted cupcakes with a lone star on them since they were going to Texas. They also wanted birthday cakes for two of their grandkids who had birthdays that same weekend....

They were fun to do....

Then on my very wedding Anniversary, I made a cake for one of my young women. It was a 'naked' cake with matching baby naked cakes. That just means they weren't iced. Just had filling and fruit around it. I liked the way it turned out....

so fun. 

The next cake I made was for my dear dad's 90th birthday..

 I had made him one similar a few years ago... but had to make it again.

It was inspired from the hat that has the saying "on top of old fogey"

And that was my year of cake decorating... I am retiring. Will still make them for family birthdays as needed. But it's too hard to do them and keep up with my full time job.

So I guess now maybe I'll start crocheting... hmmmmmm

I guess I needed to change........

I am home sick today.... thought I would blog our experience from the last few weeks. I'm confused about it all and maybe I should have stuck with my first thoughts... I hold them special in my heart. But then I think why would I be inspired to drink coffee to help my depression and then be inspired to not drink it... hmmmm here's my story.

Sometimes when you are going along in life... I guess I would say coasting?? Just the ordinary things, sometimes something happens that is just what you needed. Maybe it's to humble us now and then? or make us realize just what is important?? I am not sure.... But if you read my blog, and have noticed my last few posts you know I have been struggling... with my faith and testimony. Well here is my past week experience.
It started a few weeks ago I guess... Jim had his usual checkups for work.
His checkups monitor his radiation exposure, and usually everything is great other than the slight protein that is found in Jim's urine. That's been going on for some time and so slight you can't see it. Anyway this time something showed up on his EKG that showed something wrong with his heart that usually shows up after a heart attack...Funny Jim didn't feel like he had had a heart attack. But the doc told him to take to his other doctor, Dr. Avondet who Jim sees once a year for his kidney / prostate function. So he did, and Dr. Avondet wanted to see Jim the next week rather than in July when his yearly appointment was. So at that appointment the EKG was weird so they scheduled a stress test on Friday, this was Wednesday. And the other Dr. called saying Jim's blood test returned ab normal with a high red blood cell count and that he wanted to do the test again.... on Friday.

this post was started a few months ago.... Today is Oct 2. I was still confused on everything that happened but in talking with friends and contemplating things in my head I have thoughts. But I will continue with my experience... and thoughts.
So the Monday following what had happened the last week, the Dr. that had ordered the stress test called... Jim told them he had done his stress test and was still waiting results... and the nurse interrupted and said this wasn't about his heart they were trying to figure out whether he had cancer or not... and wanted to know what onicologist he wanted to make an appointment with. So if shock he called me... and in shock I called my sister in law who is a retired nurse for names of a good Dr. After a few phone calls I called Jim and we cried together. It's scary being told that especially when Jim's dad passed away with colon cancer right before his 60th birthday... and Jim's Grandma Eve passes away in her late 70's from lung cancer.... we were scared... I proceeded to fast the rest of the day (this was at 10 am) and asked my good friend (who is the bishop's wife) if her husband and a friend could come give Jim a blessing.... which they did later that night. And they gave me one too. We both felt comfort for the moment and new we would have to go thru something but maybe not cancer..... We were both okay that night and the next day.
But Tuesday night as I kissed Jim goodnight I broke down... what if it was cancer? what would I do without him? It just couldn't be happening... I prayed .. and I prayed over and over again.. you know those panicked prayers that you give when you'd give anything if the out come could be good? that your wants and needs could be the only thing that matter?? I fell asleep and awoke early Wed. morning.. crying and panicked. Willing to give up coffee if Jim could be well... but then that helps with my depression... what was I going to  do?? I cried and prayed and Andy happen to come home from working nights at Sams and listened and we cried and I said 'what will I do with out my coffee" to help with depression?? I need it.. and Andy trying to lighten the mood said 'there's alway gin"... made us both laugh and cry some more.... finally, I thought ok... I will wipe my tears away and try and be strong.  (the Dr. called and we had an appointment with Dr. Hancock, an onicologist, Thursday afternoon)
I said another heart felt prayer before starting to shower and get ready for work.... I record conference talks, and started the one by Dale Renlund entitled "That I might Draw all Men Unto Me" from last April. I love listening to conference talks in the morning while getting ready, it's a quiet time before the day starts and I don't like listening to the news.... it can be quite spiritual. This talk hit me... I was listening like usual, and all of sudden I felt / heard a quiet voice say "do you love him more than me".. and I felt such sweet peace and warmth it was amazing....at first I struck with awe.... and thought to myself "do I love Jim more than Christ" ? I have always loved Christ... but recently maybe took that for granted?? and I have felt distant to him as well.... I was willing to give up coffee for Jim.. but was confused cuz I felt like that was an answer to my prayers earlier and why would I get the feeling it would help.. then give it up??? Plus talking with a good friend she said you don't make bargains with God .. and you really don't. I now realize my relationship with God and Christ had dwindled. My testimony had diminished.... I was struggling with my testimony in everything in the gospel. Another good friend told me once, 'you may not have a strong testimony in everything, so start with what you do know and go from there". So that is what I am doing... I have always had a strong testimony of prayer and that God and Christ know us and know what we need. But what I got from this experience is that I need to work on my relationship with Christ. I should have been able to say my prayer but say "thy will be done" and trust Him instead of making frantic pleas and bargaining. This last conference was amazing and hit home to my heart and the thoughts I'd been having. At least the talks I was able to listen to. I had prayed that I would get answers that  I needed before it started.... I need to Believe Christ.... and God and draw nearer unto them. I am working on that, that is what I where I will start.

As for the Cancer, we got to Dr. Hancock's office and had to wait and fill out paper work, all the while cancer patients came and went, my heart goes out to those that are fighting that battle... it's a scary thing. Then we got back to the Dr.s office in the room outside where they check your vitals, and there were posters on the wall with "everyday is a gift" and stuff and Jim broke down. My heart ached for him. Finally we got to see the Dr. and after spending a few minutes looking over Jim's blood work from the last few years and other reports he said. Well, I can take off my oncologist hat and put on my hematologist hat. It wasn't cancer!!!! Jim's body thinks it's not getting enough oxygen, so it produces extra red blood cells. Which causes headaches and the heart problems the EKG's were picking up. So they are doing sleep study's and found that Jim get's soo relaxed that his heart slows way down and then his brain jolts his body awake. So he isn't getting a good nights rest at all. They are still trying to figure out what to do and what to best help Jim sleep. Also donating blood is a good way to get rid of the extra red blood cells and it's a good thing to do to alleviate the headaches.
So glad it turned out with a good out come that is fixable. I thank my Heavenly Father and His Son in answering our prayers and helping this confused soul figure out what she needs in life.... After all , if you didn't have prayer and that comfort how could we go on??

Happy Birthday to me,,,,,

Happy Birthday to me!

Yes it's my birthday today... I am turning 52....but I still feel like I did and 12, and 22, and 32, and 42.... Meaning the same me inside... Funny how you age but inside you feel like you always have.  My body feels better tho... If you would have told me last year on my birthday that I would be 24 pounds less than I was and have lost 25 inches I wouldn't have believed it possible. Thank heavens for the 21 day fix... It has helped me realize that I wasn't eating enough of the good things that I needed to and eating too much of what I didn't need.  Also that I just needed to move this body of mine for at least 30 minutes a day. I love exercising.....The following pic is me before I started on the left and after losing 24 pounds and 25 1/2 inches on the right.....woohooey

I feel like the old me... Like I said before the me at 12, 22, and so on. I was put on anti depressants about 5 years ago, and man, those make you feel like a zombie...last year around my birthday I felt so low... I can't describe how I  felt, just low and in a dark place.... So glad that is gone. I find that exercise has helped and NOT taking pills has helped. And a cup of coffee a day is all I need to help me stay happy.... It soothes my soul......and I feel like me. Some people may say they don't agree but until you have been where I was don't argue. I also have to thank my Heavenly Father.... Like I said I was in a really dark place in my life and with prayer and Him by my side I got out.... But that is a whole other post.......

Some things that I have realized this past year...

* You don't need to be who you aren't to have people like you. I write a food blog/ recipes and stuff and I had let it go to my head. I thought I was going to be famous... And it started taking over... If I didn't post a recipe I thought I was failing. If I didn't keep getting more and more readers I was failing, I gained weight from trying different recipes. Finally I reminded myself what my blog was for....sometimes it's easy to let your head swell. I started my blog as a way to share recipes with my daughter and friends. And it's nice to have a place to keep all your favorite recipes without having to flip through 200 printed out recipes (yes, I have an addiction to recipes)

* this past year I have questioned my testimony / faith. Everything I was ever taught about religion was questioned. Some dear family members had shared some anti Mormon literature with me. Is it. True?? I have always had a hard time with my testimony of Joseph Smith....Then a while back while at the hairdressers she said something that I have thought long and hard about.....she asked the question "do you think God is Mormon? Or Catholic, or Lutheren? Or any particular religion??? No, he is the light and the life" I loved that..... He is the Light and the Life of / in all things. And that the Mormon church has more of the beliefs he taught when he was on the earth than any other religion Although I think there is good in all.. So why not go to the LDS church..... If it makes me feel at peace and gives me hope then I think it's a good place to be. A good friend of mine once told me.... If you don't believe everything... Or have a testimony of everything... Then start with what you do believe ...... 

I do believe that God and his Son Jesus Christ know me, and what is in my heart, and they listen and answer my prayers. And that they made us and this world and all the beautiful things in and on it. And I give thanks for that everyday. It makes me happy.

* I have also realized to be patient...... And listen to people. And no matter how tired and in a hurry to get home I am,  if I call my parents and they would like me to stop and get them oranges or a salad from Wendy's I do it with a happy heart. And I take time to chat a few minutes when I drop them off, even though I know my husband is home waiting for me to exercise with him.... I do it because I know there will be a day they won't be there.... And I will wish they were so I could bring them oranges and chat. Take time to spend with those you love..... Life is too short to bustle here and there and not take time to notice things....or pay attention to people. The other day I noticed a cloud that it you would have tipped it upright , it looked like an angel with wings and all.
*I had a good birthday, kind of a boring day but ok. We had dinner with family and that's what matters and I spent the day with my dear husband and his mom. No, I guess I don't' need a party with cake and birthday candles.....tho' that 12 year old me thought so...I was just glad I was with my husband.... Some people aren't so lucky... Hopefully I will have many birthdays with mine.
And I splurged on Ben and Jerry's ice cream.....at the end of the day , if it's your birthday, a little splurge is good.
Enjoy life.... And keep things simple...I have to remind myself of that a lot..... Enjoy the simple things. too many times I have spent the day trying to cook something fancy and then I realize that I have spent the whole time in the kitchen rather than with the people I was cooking for.. What fun is that? From now on my motto is keep it simple......and Enjoy life/ and everything  / person/ moment you have around you.
You never know what each day will bring.... Don't take it for granted.

My 21 Day Fix Journey... End of Round 6

One year ago today, I was miserable... Heavier than I have ever been, even when I was 9 months pregnant. I was on Anti depressants, hi cholesterol medicine and so down I felt like winnie the pooh with the little black cloud over his head.
Today at the end of round 6, I have lost 20 POUNDS!!! woo hoo!! off my Anti Depressants... off my Hi Cholesterol medication, and I have more energy and feel better, happier than I have in a Loooonnnngggg time!!  I have also lost over 18 inches off my body overall! I can wear Jeggins' LOL something I truly thought I would never do. If you would have asked me last year if I thought it possible I would have said Hell No.  But you do like the signs above and it's possible... I also prayed for strength.. and the determination to cook healthier... you all know how I love to bake.
I found I can still eat a sweet now and then.. even cookies but not everyday. My favorite is a teaspoon of peanut butter with 2 dark hershey's kisses in it. Yum. Just enough to tell me I'm thru for the day. My little sweet fix.
My goal is to get to my pre-desk job weight... or little lower. that's only 5 more pounds.. Wee Hoo!!!
If you want something bad enough, after reaching an all time low in your life.... with prayer and determination and support from your family... anything is possible.
Do it for yourself... no one else. It HAS to be for you.
Go get it! Work for  it and before you know it? you're there!!