Mornings

Jared took the following pic with his phone while he was out irrigating the other morning. This is pretty significant because Jared leaves his phone at home approximately 85% of the time. It's not annoying at all.

But anywho,

I guess mornings aren't so bad afterall...

And Then There's That Time When

And then there's that time when you realize your dog (when wet)...

kinda looks like the mummified cat you found her playing with in the backyard.

Or is it just me....

Lessons Learned

Last year at this time, Jared and I had just landed in Maui for what was quite possibly the best honeymoon in the history of all honeymoons. We LOVED Maui and can't wait to go back. I'll always remember our first stop after the airport. Krispy Cream Donuts. We may or may not have gotten a full dozen for just the two of us. And we may or may not have returned later in the week for another dozen...ok so there's a chance it was 18 donuts but whatever. Second stop: road-side fruit stand. Third stop: our amazing beach-side hotel. I can't believe it's been a year already. As I was making a fairly pathetic anniversary dinner last night, I couldn't help but look back over the last year and note what I'd learned from all of the quality time Jared and I have spent together.

There's at least a zillion things I could share, but thought I'd pick the ones that would be most helpful to you, my dedicated blog reader.

Here goes:

1. Men like to dirty as few dishes as possible. When left unattended, men will not only drink out of the carton, but they will use their dirty shirt as a plate - even when a perfectly clean plate is sitting on the counter in front of them.

2. Men are resourceful. While having a delightful conversation next to the dishes you just washed, there's a 32% chance that a man will pick up said dishes, dry them off with the shirt that he's worn three consecutive days in a row working cows and fixing greasy equipment, and then proceed to place the dishes in the cupboard. Never mind the dish towel hanging two feet away that just so happens to be free of cow manure and hydrolic oil. That towel is obviously reserved for drying your hands - well, the wife's hands anyways...cause men can use their shirt to dry their hands as well.

Speaking of washing hands:

3. Men completely understand the concept of "Cleanliness is next to Godliness." Especially when it comes to washing their hands after working outside. When seeing your husband manhandling the food you're about to eat, there's nothing more reassuring than getting an affirmative answer after asking him if he's washed his hands. If you pursue the questioning further, you may find out that he's referring to the time he washed his hand two days prior, but that's not important. What's important is that he's at least mindful of when he does it.

4. Men believe in prep work to make the job easier. When doing the dishes, men will always *without fail* wash everything but the pan. "It needs to soak for a few minutes" they tell you. "So it's easier to wash" they say. It may seem annoying, but after letting the pan sit in the sink for three days before you finally cave and wash it yourself, it really is easy. All the grease and grime practically fly right off. It's pretty amazing.

5. Men believe in sharing with their wife. When you make juice for your husband, he'll drink most of the pitcher but will always leave the last two sips for you. You may think that he's just trying to get out of washing the pitcher, but you'd be wrong. He's sacrificing his last 10 seconds of cool refreshment just to make you happy. So thank him for it. And give him a great big hug and kiss to show your appreciation.

6. Men believe in making their wife self-sufficient. If a man sees a woman doing something once, he then knows that she's capable of doing it herself for the rest of her life. So he'll never do it again. Things like carrying in all the groceries. Or taking out the garbage. Or making dinner. Or watering the entire lawn over the course of 9 hours with one sprinkler head. Or keeping the house clean, the dog fed, the garden weeded and watered, and the sticks cleared off the lawn. If you really want to impress a man and expand your horizons in the process, mow the lawn and sweep out his shop while he's out working. You'll never regret it. I promise.

7. Men believe in saving money. If you're out shopping and see something you really like but can't afford, a good man won't hesitate to say those six words that every woman loves to hear: "I can make one for you." You then take a picture of it and send it to his phone so he can reference it when he rushes home and starts building. And then before you know it, 30 short years have passed by and you finally have your quilt rack. Money saved.

And last but certainly not least:

8. On occasion, men really do know how to make their woman happy. Whether it's making her an anniversary breakfast burrito in an attempt to cheer her up after hearing her yelling and swearing at the calves and the dog and then stomping in the house while pouting like a two year old. Or putting his endless amount of field work on hold for a day-trip to Billings because he knows his wife will completely lose it if she doesn't get her monthly 'city fix'. Or making her homemade ice-cream after she just got rejected for yet another job. Or hiding store-bought ice-cream in the freezer out in the shop and surprising her with it at 9:30pm when she tells him she's craving chocolate. Or helping her with her primary lesson when she's procrastinated and is running late for church - even though he has to be to church 90 minutes before she does.  Or continuing to love her despite the fact that she might possibly be the most critical and impatient wife in the whole entire universe.

I love you Jared!!

I'm Sorry, What?!?

Shortly after I got home last night from a nice sunset bike ride, I received the following report from Jared:

*****

Jared: Your dog...

Me: What'd she do now?

Jared: She was barking like crazy outside so I yelled at her to be quiet. Then a few minutes later she started up again. So I get up and look out the window and all I can see is that she's staring at the ground...so I lean over to look around her and there's a bat on the ground in front of her!

Me:  Ohhhhh, serious? Did she get it?

Jared: I don't think so, I think she just barked at it. It was weird cause it kinda hopped around and then just flopped back down, and then hopped around and then flopped back down...

Me: Probably because your dang dog chewed on it!!

Jared: No, I picked it up and didn't see any bite marks on it so we should be ok.

I didn't know bats hissed, though!

Me: Ok, you're totally lying to me right now...

Jared: No, I'm serious, it started hissing at me! It had a surprisingly large mouth for such a little bat, too.

Me: Jared, please tell me you did not pick that bat up with your bare hands.

Jared: Ummmmm...

*****

He still doesn't understand why I continue to lecture him on bat safety 24 hours later.

And what's really disturbing are the four words he whispered about .025 seconds before falling asleep last night.

"I

really

like

bats."

He's hopeless.

Guess Who

Guess who started her very first garden today...

Isn't it just so cute?

And guess who just made the most delicious tomato basil pizza from scratch.

And is eating it without her husband because he's still out irrigating.

Yup, that'd be me too.

Don't worry though, I'll save him some.

If he hurries.

He called me a hairy warewolf at my brother's wedding the weekend before last.
And an elephant a few days after that.

His punishment is still in the works. Maybe no more dinner should be part of it?
That way I can eat this thing guilt-free.

Mmmm, I like the way I think.
On to slice #3.

Disclaimer: Just because I'm thinking about finishing the pizza without him doesn't mean that Jared is on to something when he says I'm an elephant. So don't even go there...
I'm NOT an elephant.

Somebody's Hamburger

"You do realize that she's gonna be somebody's hamburger by the time you come up with a name, right?"

That's what Jared just said about this little girl:

Heartless.

Soooo very very heartless.

He even suggested that we name her "Hammie" the other day. Short for hamburger. It was at that moment that I decided I needed to train her to charge on command.

Don't tell Jared, though. I want it to be a surprise...

I don't know what my deal is but I've had the hardest time naming this calf. We've had her just ten days and she's already gone through at least ten names. My sister suggested we name her Penny last week and I loved it. Penny it was! For approximately 2.5 days. Then I decided that it didn't really fit. Tonight I came up with Mylee and thought it was soooo cute, but then Jared had to ruin it for me by reminding me of Miley Cyrus. Annoyingness.

So I guess I'd better just stick with Penny since I'm apparently the most indecisive person in the whole entire universe. At least when it comes to calf names. And dog names now that I think about it. Poor Jessie had serious identity issues the first few days I had her in Utah. She was called all sorts of names before I finally settled on Jessie.

Jessie and Penny are still trying to figure each other out. Penny has kicked Jessie a few times and Jessie has snapped at Penny for every kick she's received. They just don't understand how the other one likes to play. They had a good stare-down the other day that I think helped their relationship a little bit.

They sat like this for a good 15 minutes. Just staring. And staring. And staring. Then they both just kind of walked away. Jessie never had a problem with the other calves we had back in April.

Our first calf was Joey.

His mom died shortly after he was born. Thankfully Jared and I happened to find her about a day after she died. As Jared was checking her tag, I noticed some ears poking out of a hole about 30 feet away. I thought it was a deer at first, but it was Joey. We weren't sure if he belonged to the cow we'd come across or if he belonged to another cow, so we left him for a day and checked on him again the next afternoon. He was still laying in the same hole so we brought him home.

I immediately fell in love with him and would usually spend a good 30-45 extra minutes with him every time I went out to feed. He was so big and awkward and playful and friendly and I felt bad that he was alone most of the day...so staying and playing whenever I could made me feel a little better about him being all alone.

A few days after we got Joey, Jared's brother, Parker, brought us another calf.

Meet Mister.

Mister's mom was alive and well, but she showed no interested in being a mom despite the time that Parker spent working with the pair. I was thrilled to get another calf cause that meant that Joey would have a friend to play with all day! I was worried that Joey would be a bully to Mister cause he was so much bigger, but it ended up being the other way around. Mister was a bully to Joey...and to me! He was always nice to Jessie, though, and didn't seem to mind when Jessie would start licking the calf poo off of him. Gross, I know. Jessie loves that stuff, unfortunately. And no matter how much I get after her when she starts eating it, she still does it. I think my anger only encourages her. Little brat.

Jessie, Joey, and Mister loved to play with each other. I'd get them all running together and then just sit back and watch...and hope that Jessie didn't get trampled.

Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for them, Parker eventually found new moms for both Joey and Mister. I was really sad the first few days they were gone and wasn't any fun to be around. Poor Jared had to deal with a big baby for awhile. But then I got to go visit the calves with their new moms a week or so later and it made me so happy to see how well they were doing. And it made me even happier that they both remembered me enough to walk up to me and let me pet them goodbye. Their new moms sure weren't happy about it though. I'd be lying if I said they didn't scare me a little bit...

It'd be nice to see little Penny get a new mom, but you won't hear me complain if she doesn't. She hasn't warmed up to me quite like the other two did since she's older and a bit more wild, but we've come a long way. It no longer takes both Jared and me to pin her down and force her to take her bottle. So that's a big improvement. She's still a little too timid to play like the others did, but I'm not giving up yet.

She's at least started to suck on my fingers, which is disgusting but also adorable.
And she let me hug her briefly once before freaking out.

So it's only a matter of time until we're best buds.

I hope :)

Rainbows

The following picture might look like it came from some kind of story book.

But it didn't.

It came from right outside my back door after last week's rain storm.

Ain't it perty?

Blind Side

I just got back from a nice casual bike ride around the ranch. Jessie came with me and ran along side the whole time with her tongue hanging about 4 inches out the side of her mouth. She definitely got a much better workout than I did.

This was her first experience with a bike as far as I know. She was confused at first because she's used to being able to "load up" whenever Jared and/or I get on anything with tires. Despite running a little too close to my tires than I would have liked, she managed to go the whole 30 minutes without any mishaps. Until the tractor happened.

When we were about 1/8 mile from home, I picked up my speed so that Jessie would have to sprint the rest of the way. Even though I was on her bad eye side, she did great. But then I got about 5 feet ahead of her, and then 10 feet, and then 15 feet, and then....

THUMP!!

YELP!!

I immediately looked back to see what happened. I guess she was so focused on catching up to me, that she forgot about everything else around her.

Like the Versatile Tractor.

Which was, unfortunately, on her bad eye side.

Note the two arrows in this picture. Can you guess which path Jessie took and which one I took?

Poor thing smacked pretty hard against that tire at a full sprint. And yelped loud enough to almost give me a heart attack. I think it shocked her more than anything since for her it came out of nowhere.

For the next 30 seconds she just stood there wondering what happened to her.

I swear she thought I did it to her the way she was looking at me.

It's a good thing she's a very forgiving little pup.

All it took to cheer her up was a little hug and some puppy talk (very similar to "baby talk") and she was putty in my hands again.

I just love her!

Lost and Found

Do you ever stop and think about all those little (or big) things you've lost in the past and wonder where in the crap they could possibly be? Knowing that your precious little something is just sitting somewhere under a cushion or tucked in a corner or buried just enough in the dirt that you can't see it no matter how hard you look is enough to drive you crazy, right? Or is it just me?

I lost my wedding ring a few months ago when I went snowmobiling with Jared's family up to their cabin. I had that ring just shy of a year. And I lost it. I knew I'd lose it eventually which is why I told Jared that I'd kill him if he spent a fortune on a ring...but not even a year before I lost it? Didn't see that one coming. I'm guessing it came off when I pulled my gloves off which I swear I didn't do until I got to the cabin. But we've searched the cabin to no avail. It seriously drives me crazy knowing that it's just sitting somewhere and I can't find it. And it makes me wonder if someone, someday, will find it and wonder where it came from. And will they keep it? Or will they not care and just toss it aside? Like I did this CD.

I found this just off the highway the other day when I was out walking. I realize this isn't exactly in the same category as a diamond ring, but it's Alabama Live! I love country music so I'd be pretty bummed if I lost this. I would have taken it home with me if it wasn't broken. Instead, I took a picture of it and am now hoping for some good karma (directed at finding my ring) by posting it online for all the world to see. If you think it might belong to you, you can find it about 12 miles up the Nowood on the east side of the highway.

Ok karma, I'm waiting for you...

I lost something else a couple months ago as well.
I've made multiple attempts to find it, but have failed miserably every time.

It's my desire to blog.

You may have noticed??

I don't really know what happened to it. I guess it might have disappeared with the snow because now that it's warm and sunny outside, the thought of staring at my laptop kind of gets me in a bad mood. So my laptop has remained remarkably untouched for about seven weeks now. I say "remarkably" because since moving to Ten Sleep, my laptop has been attached to my lap as my main source of connecting with the outside world.

I'll try to do better though and do my bestest to find my lost desire. I do have a lot of stories to catch up on, after all. Like how I FINALLY GOT A DOG!!!

Her name is Jessie and she's the cutest little brat in the world. I found her on KSL a week before Easter and immediately fell in love.

Ahhhh, look at the cute little puppy dog.

She's blind and deaf and has no whiskers as of this morning (little mishap with a burning ditch), but I still like to think that she's gonna be an awesome cow dog some day.

Fingers crossed.

Copy-Catterererer

I'm sitting here in the kitchen watching a little black cat romp around out near where I set a fire last year in my ploy to meet the neighbors. We've got a couple cats at our place but in the nearly eight months that I've lived here, I've only seen the black one four times and the greyish one once. They're feral cats but just about everytime I go to the grocery store, I'm really tempted to buy some cat food to leave out on the back porch as a surprise for them. Wouldn't that just be so cute? And nice? I haven't given in to my temptation yet, but after watching the little black cat today, I might have a slightly more difficult time saying "no" the next time I'm at the store.

But our little cats aren't the topic of this post.

Copy-catting is.

A friend of mine posted a recent picture of herself on her blog and listed 11 random things about her and then tagged six people to do the same as well as answer 11 of her questions. She didn't tag me but I'm going to pretend like she did and copy her blog idea because I'm not in a story-telling mood.

*******

11 Random Things:

1. My most favorite thing to do each day is ride around the fields on the 4wheeler with Jared to check on the cows and calves. The little guy in the pic above was separated from his mom for five days last week. An exciting ride on the 4wheeler Friday evening was the first step to getting mom and calf back together again.

2. I didn't learn to drive a stick shift until I was 30. I'm still 30, by the way.

3. I'm kind of a germaphobe. Jared is whatever the opposite of a germaphobe is. Which I find quite annoying.

4. I have to make my bed every day. Every. Day. Drives me crazy otherwise.

5. I can't go to sleep without brushing and flossing my teeth.

6. I've spent the night in the back of a UHaul and on a garage roof with my ex-roommate and had pizza delivered to both locations. The delivery drivers thought we were strange. And one asked if we were smoking pot.

7. I stole a flashlight from a store at the mall when I was little and when my two oldest siblings found out, they staged a phone call from the police to scare me. I don't remember if I fell for it or not... I do remember that the only reason I stole it was because I was bored with carrying around my very awesome but very empty levi purse. The flashlight fit perfectly inside, so...I really had no choice but to take it.

8. I don't like to go barefoot in the house. My feet get too cold and I don't like feeling the dirt on the floor when I walk. I'm totally a sock gal.

9. To date, my absolute worst experience at a doctor's office was when I had an ingrown toenail removed. During the middle of the procedure the doctor actually said, "Looks like a Chinese torture chamber, doesn't it." It was horrible.

10. One of my least favorite topics to discuss is politics, however one of my favorite classes in college was Political Science.

 11. If Jared had a quarter for every time I told him I was craving a chocolate malt, he'd be a very rich man.

And now the 11 questions:

1. Is there a day of the week you always look forward to the most? Why?

When I was a productive member of society, Saturday was the day I looked forward to the most. For obvious reasons. Now that I'm unemployed, any day that gets me out of the house is the day I look forward to the most. And any day that involves a trip to Walmart and Costco (Billings, MT) is the day I look forward to even more most.

2. Are your clothes in your closet organized or all jumbled up with no order?

Totally organized. From left to right: shirts I wear the most, shirts I wear the least, shirts I'll wear when I find a job, skirts I wear the most, skirts I never wear but can't bring myself to get rid of.

3. Do you have a lucky number?

Not really. But if I were to choose one right now, I'd say 17. For no reason whatsoever.

4. What do you daydream about?

Getting a job and a puppy.

5. What's the best dessert you've ever had?

Ummmm, isn't this question basically the same as asking a mother which child is her favorite? I can't say what the BEST dessert I've ever had is, but I'm a sucker for brownie sundaes. Mmmm, tasty.

6. Are you a heels or flats person?

Definitely flats whenever possible. Heels hurt my knees and they make me taller than Jared.

7. What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

Jetsons or the Flinstones. I can't remember which...

8. When you were little, what did you tell people you wanted to be when you grew up? Did it change?

I told people I wanted to be a veterinarian, but that I probably wouldn't because they couldn't eat meat. Instead I went the accounting route. Now that I live on a ranch in Wyoming and know the difference between a veterinarian and a vegetarian, I'm really wishing I would have stuck with the vet thing.

9. What state/city would you love to visit (that you've never been to before)?

I guess maybe New York? Possibly? I've never been to the east coast.

10. Are you a believer in waiting until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas? Or do you do it sooner?

Definitely wait until after Thanksgiving.

11.If you were an American-Idol worthy singer, what song would you choose to sing at your audition?

I'm drawing a total song blank right now. So I don't know.

*********

There you have it! Lots of random and possibly-not-very-interesting stuff about me.

I'm going to go attempt a Sunday nap now. Wish me luck.

Giving Thanks

Dear Mr. Mouse,

Thank you so much for finding my rubberband ball and chewing it up into an impressive number of pieces. I thought it was getting much too big so you actually saved me about two minutes of unwinding work that I've been putting off for over a year now. Just one of those little jobs I never seem to find time for...

As a token of my appreciation, I've placed a delicious little treat for you inside this really cool box.

I'll be sure to leave it where you can easily track it down.
Hope you enjoy!!

All the best,

Anne

Existence

A couple good friends and their two little girls came out to Ten Sleep last weekend to hunt for coyotes and shoot some prairie dogs. The coyote hunt didn't prove to be a success, but we had a blast shooting prairie dogs and Jared and I both really enjoyed having new faces and extra bodies around to keep us company.

(Hint, hint, friends and family!)

After the hunting fun on Saturday, we came back to our place for lunch. The girls hit the kitchen, and the guys hit the Xbox....which I refer to as the widow-maker and/or the worst invention known to women. Except when Rock Band is involved, of course.

During the lunch-making and the Xbox-time-wasting-brain-cell-destroying-worst-invention-ever commotion, one of the little girls wrote the following on our white board.

Without any encouragement or suggestion from me, I might add.

Translation:

Anne and Jared do not really exist because Jared plays that game and because they kiss!

******

Take out the kissing part and....well, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Text Messages

From Today...

Anne (1:23pm): I regret to inform you that feeding DID NOT go well and one of the gates is now in need of serious repair. In an effort to prevent more damage, I'm saving the last two bales for you.

Anne (1:28pm): Also, I just ate an impressive amount of ice cream to cheer me up.
Now I am ill.

Anne (1:33pm): Oh, and the ice cream did cheer me up, btw. So you don't need to be afraid to come home or anything...

Jared (1:34pm): Thank goodness for icecream.

An Early Valentine

I decided to make sugar cookies last night to bring to primary today. I wanted to do a birthday / Valentine's treat since one of my girls had a birthday this last week and Valentines Day is just two short days away. Sugar cookies seemed like a great way to kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. So I made the dough and threw it in the fridge to chill for a few hours while Jared and I went to the stake Valentine's dinner.

When we got home, I rolled out the dough and then opened my magical baking drawer full of magical baking things to retrieve my very large and magical collection of cookie cutter shapes...  only to discover that I don't own a very large and magical collection of cookie cutter shapes.

I could have sworn I did. Must have been a dream.

So I was forced to go with the one cookie cutter that I actually did have. I made my class try and guess what the cookie was supposed to be before they could eat it. Without the full themed collection displayed below, it really was quite hard to tell.

Only one of my girls was able to figure it out.

Nothing says Happy Birthday and Happy Valentine's day like a pink rooster.

Right??

It's a good thing my girls are easy to please...

And it's a very good thing that I have a great friend who gave me this awesome themed "gag" gift as a wedding present. Little did she know how much I'd end up loving it! 
Thanks, Rhenn :)

Not Just Another Day

Thursday morning.

6:55am.

I'm laying in bed wondering how much time I have before Jared makes me get up to help feed the cows. I can usually hold him off until about 7:30 if I manage to fake sleeping without smiling or giggling. But not this time.

"I need to be to Josh's place by 8:30 so we need to feed early this morning.
We're working with the calves today.

Wanna come?"

Do I wanna come... what kind of question is that??

So I went.

And I learned.

And I gagged.

The main purpose of the day was to tattoo and tag the calves' ears, as well as vaccinate for I'm not sure what, and spray for fleas, worms, etc. This was one of the ranch activities that I hadn't been a part of before, so I was excited to see what it was all about.

Jared and his brothers kept the calves coming down the chute, Phillip operated the squeeze chute, Joy did the vaccinating, Dave (the vet) did the tattooing and tagging, and I did the spraying.

I wish I would have gotten some good pictures of Dave doing his thing, but I didn't. So the next four pictures are ones I found online. I thought I'd include them so you can get a visual. Aren't I nice?

As I said, the purpose of the day was the tattooing, vaccinating, and the tagging. However, on a few occasions, some extra doctoring was required. At this point I feel I should warn you that the following pics are not for those with a weak stomach. If blood and other goopy fluids are a bit much for you, then you should probably skip the rest of this post and check back in a few days for posts of a less graphic nature.

My first exposure to some doctoring occurred with this little calf.

Poor girl had to be dehorned. To do this, they get her in the squeeze chute, hook a rope up to her nose to keep her head in the right position, trim the hair around the horn back a bit, and then...

Definitely wasn't expecting to see that when I got out of bed Thursday morning.

Next up was a calf with a lumpy jaw. We had three calves with lumpy jaws but I only took pics of the first one. These lumps make it painful for the calf to chew their food, so they need to be taken care of. First you trim back the hair, puncture the lump, watch the goop come out, and then get the peroxide...and a shovel.

I'm not sure why everyone seems to have a look of disgust in this next picture...it might because someone just mentioned eating the cream-filled donuts Dave had in his truck.

The Lyman men are just about the toughest guys I've ever met, but Josh only had to take about two steps towards Reed and Parker before they started gagging and had to turn their backs to him.

So funny :)

All in all, it was a pretty good day. And despite the cold, the hours of work, and the unexpected experience with some doctoring - I ended the day with a smile on my face.

And a little bit of color to my jeans.