A Glass Half.....

Empty
        ~Lilly has been sick and needs constant holding. I should be loving it, but I'm kinda going crazy.
        ~Sometimes I get discouraged by the fact that most of what I do is never finished. Laundry and dishes, scrubbing and sweeping, cooking and cleaning. I do it and it is undone immediately. Sometimes I get so disheartened that I just don't do those things for a day or two, but that just makes me feel worse.
         ~I hate reflecting on the time I've wasted. I believe that will be one of my most painful regrets when this life is over.
         ~ If a child is living with their grandparents I think that the grandparents should have full authority to raise that child in the way they see fit. If, for whatever reason, you can't keep you child with you and you ask you parents to take them, you forfeit your right to be the parent and make the rules....dang it. Forgive my little rant, but I needed to get that off my chest.
         ~ I think I was born in the wrong century. I have old fashioned ideas about a lot of things. Sometimes I think the young women in my ward think I'm crazy. For New Beginnings the girls all dressed up in formals and I told them that they had to be Quakerishly modest. They didn't know what I was talking about. Another time I told them I had never kissed on the lips until I was engaged. Wide eyed silence. Yep...crazy.
         ~ My husband's brother is taking his family and moving to Joe City. I am in denial half of the time and jealous the other half. Not that I want to live in Joe City, I just crave change...and a real home to sink my roots in and improve. We're still on the no debt/pay cash plan, so it make take a while.

Full
      ~ My husband is wonderful. I love him and relate to him in so many ways. He strengthens me where I am weak and very gently helps me see when I'm being silly. He never criticizes me even when there is ample room to find fault. I have been blessed.
       ~ My children are the sweetest and the best. They are choice people. They are not perfect and we have our challenges, but I wouldn't change my kids for anyone's.
       ~Some days I am incredibly productive. I get more done on one of these freak days than I do in a week of normal days. I fantasize about what my life would be like if all my days were like this. I must find the secret to this anomaly.
       ~ I'm so excited for this summer. I'm already planning and scheming. I want to soak up and savor every minute of freedom and warmth. I love letting my kids sleep in and wear whatever the want (within Quaker-like reason).
       ~I have been blessed with all of the essentials and many many of the comforts of life. We are living the life of luxury compared to so many people on earth that struggle everyday just to stay alive. We have so much.
       ~My life is a gift from God and he has a plan for me. He knows my name and He loves me.

Dusting off the cobwebs

It's funny how every year at Christmas time I always think that everything will settle down after December is over. If I can just make it through December... and then January hits and there is no sign of calming down. I'm still catching my breath from the crazy holiday rush and the new year planning it just ramping up. I'm mostly thinking of Young Women and all the planning, revamping, and organizing I have to do. Tomorrow we start the new curriculum and I'm so excited to start! It is wonderful and I know it will be so much more effective. The old manuals had some good material, but man they are outdated as far as relating to the world that these girls live in today. The gospel doctrine part is never outdated, but the case studies and some of the quotes are ancient and, quite frankly, funny! It's exciting to have a living, breathing, updating curriculum.

Anyway, life is good, busy and challenging. We're all growing and learning as we go. So much has happened that is blog worthy, but in interest of time I'll just do a quick update.

Andrew left on his mission! We are so proud of him and miss him very much!

I'm teaching violin again and it has been fun, but more than once it seems like I'm just too busy for it right now. I'm excited for a time and season in my life when I can devote more time to playing and teaching.

I was called as the YW president in our little ward. Heaven help me...no really.

Ben and David came for Christmas and we had too much fun and too much swapping of illness.

The woodruff library lost it's funding and we're looking at closing. So sad, but we really don't have the patronage to justify the expense of running it. We may stay open on a volunteer/ seasonal basis. We'll see.

I finished reading the conference Ensign. It was a beautiful experience! The overarching message seemed to be becoming truly converted and really living what you believe even when things are hard. It has been so motivating!

That's all I have time for now. I'll have to do another post with pictures for the kids.

Thankful Thursday

* I'm grateful for my wood stove with a window in the front so I curl up and just stare at the flames.
* Sleep. Where would I be without the opportunity to reset and restart?
* I love my babies and I'm so thankful for each one and the blessings that they have brought to me.
* I'm grateful for music and the influence for good that it has.
* I'm grateful for new opportunities and adventures
* My best friend
* I'm thankful for all the people in my life that have lifted me up and made me who I am.
* The gift of the Holy Ghost.
* The plan of happiness.
* New challenges! Give me mountains to climb!....but not ...you know...hard, ugly mountains.
* I'm grateful for good books. I'm grateful that I can read and learn. I'm thankful for the resources that are open to me.
*The scriptures and words of the prophets.
*Love

Yet another post of random thoughts

~I lead a blessed life. I really do. I'm so grateful for my own little family and the love we share.
~ Someday I will have to stop calling my family little and face the facts that we are a family of six. SIX! When did this happen? Where was I?
~ It's amazing how just when you feel like you're getting the hang of things they change and you have to adapt. You're just getting comfortable and suddenly you're pushed out of the zone and you have to grow some more.
~I'll be so glad when this election is over! Will I be happy with the results? That remains to be seen. The more I improve my information of the issues and candidates the more I'm convinced that we are in very serious trouble. I don't think we will ever get back on track without a lot of hard painful repentance.
~I know that my Heavenly Father loves me. I'm humbled by the confidence that he places in me. I want so badly to fulfill the mission that he has for me.
~ It scares me when I think of how fast the eight years of my marriage have flown by and look ahead to the next eight. The time is just slipping through my fingers. By then my kids will be teenagers! I'm not ready!
"This life, as a dream, our time, as a stream, flow swiftly away and the fugitive moment refuses to stay."
~ Do you ever look back and feel like an idiot for the things you said and did? I feel that way often. I look back at college and think of how naive and silly I was. I look back to when I only had one baby to take care of and how I felt totally overwhelmed. One baby? That sound like a cake walk now. At the time I felt pretty good about myself. In retrospect, I shake my head and realize how little I had to be proud of. I guess I'm being harsh on myself. After all a girl has to learn these things at some point. It's funny and a little embarrassing. One day, years from now, I will read this blog and think about how silly and naive I was when I was a young mother and how much I had yet to learn.

The Babies part 438

 The latest and greatest around here is our fancy new camera. We took the kids out the other day and had fun trying our hand at professional looking portraits. We have a lot to learn but I thought these turned out well. I haven't done any photo shopping on these and we had to shrink them so it wouldn't take ages to upload. Anyway these will make a good baseline for us to judge our improvement.

Journey to the Temple part 2

WE DID IT! No, it didn't take all day and into the night to get to the temple. This is just another beautiful picture Mathan took.
       We started our journey at 4:30 in the morning. Well, actually I started my journey at 9:00 pm the previous evening when I was lying in bed trying really hard to go to sleep. And we all know that sleep never comes when you're trying to sleep. Anyway I finally fell into fitful slumber and had a decent amount of rest before morning came.
        Our wonderful stake president gave us a great send off. He encouraged each of the youth to find a spot on the temple to call their own and to promise themselves that they would return there on the day they receive their endowments. He talked about how this journey would be difficult for some and easy for others. He encouraged us all to lift and help each other along the way and to persevere. Then we were off.
         Two girls have been my special walking buddies each morning and they waited till Mary, Mathan and I were ready to go, which wasn't till most everyone had left. When we finally got outside I gave a whoop and ran through the parking lot. I was so excited to finally be going after all the preparation!
        We started out going nearly four miles an hour and at that pace we quickly caught up to and passed much of the group. Of course we weren't trying to get ahead, that was just our normal practice pace. It was actually really fun to be able to walk a few feet with most of the people on the hike and to say hello and cheer on everyone as we passed.
       5 miles passed quickly and easily, ten miles passed with a much needed potty break and water refill, and I was still feeling good and motivated. 15 miles came much slower than the previous 5 mile increments. My feet were aching by then and my legs burning. We had kept up our speed and spirits really well, but after 15 it was much more of a challenge to keep our minds off the pain. We kept joking about how great our elbows and earlobes felt. No pain at all there. Then came our manna from heaven. A little four passenger airplane flew over and we thought is was pretty cool. Then it circled back and dropped twinkies on the road! That was a nice little lift and distraction.
        I think the hardest part for me came about mile 18. We had just flagged down the portable potty and I sat on the ground to stretch and rest for a while, but when I got up the muscles in my legs were screaming! The best I could do was toddle with stiff knees. It was really painful for a while, but finally I worked through it and could walk more freely. At mile 20 I discovered a few blisters but I didn't care at that point. Just two more miles! The walk up to the temple was beautiful and much less difficult than I had imagined. I pictured myself crawling on hands and  knees, but all I had to do was put my arm around Mathan's waist and we just plowed up that steep hill together. It took us 6 1/2 hours from the time we started walking.
      It felt so good to be finished and to sit with Mathan in the special spot that we have had since out dating days. I have to admit I felt so dirty and uncomfortable in my sweaty sunburned state. The temple presidency had asked that we not loiter around, so we didn't stay long. We will be going back soon, properly dressed, to do baptisms for the dead for whom we walked. My parents got out of the temple just as we arrived. We also saw Mathan's Aunt Lorna and Uncle Levell. They didn't believe us when we first told them how far we had walked.
     It has been an unforgettable experience. I'm looking forward to the baptisms and the closing fireside where we get to share all of our stories!
       

Journey To The Temple

In about 30 hours from now I will be embarking on a journey that I've been preparing for nearly the whole year.  For more than six months I've been walking in the freezing cold, blistering heat, monsoon rain, and northern Arizona wind in preparation for a 22 mile Journey to the Temple with the Holbrook Stake youth. I'm excited and nervous and READY! This has already been a learning experience and a blessing in my life and the main event hasn't even started. I wanted to record some of my thoughts so far.

* My body is strong and healthy and for that I am grateful. It is such a marvelous gift and I want to take care of it. I want it to be strong and beautiful and pure, like the temple.

* There is so much comfort in knowing that I am doing what I need to do to be prepared.  "When ye are prepared ye shall not fear" is a true scripture. I know it will be a challenge and it will hurt, but I know I can do it.

* Being spiritually worthy to enter the temple is a lot like being physically prepared to walk this distance. You have to be committed and focused.  You have to do things everyday that will keep you on the path to the temple.

*  When I focus on the obstacles in my path or the enormous distance that I have to cover, I get discouraged. I slow down. I stop.

* When I focus on my abilities and blessings and the distance that I have already come, I am encouraged and strengthened.

* Covenants are powerful. When you make a covenant with Heavenly Father he gives you the power to keep it, but you have to choose to use and strengthen the power given you.  I have all the body parts necessary to make this journey, but I have to choose to use them and strengthen them by daily excercise.

* Heavenly Father recognises our efforts and hard work and blesses us.  He takes our best effort and makes up for what we lack.

* Being pushed to the limit of your strength is always a humbling, clarifying, prioritizing experience.