Happy MIA Holidays!

I am getting freakin good at this whole disappearing act! The good thing though, is that I am apparently not the only one because my google reader is not as full as it would normally be!

So what's been going on?

Well I like point form. Point form is fun. So lets do it that way.

• I went drunk bowling. Drunk bowling is the bomb. Apparently I also sent drunk text messages and took drunk pictures as well. I forgot about them too until I checked my phone's "outbox" and had several giggles to myself about it. Here is one of my fabulous drunk photos (Answer Becky):

• While out drunk bowling I realized something very interesting. If someone doesn't understand me, I automatically refer to Spanish. I've done this several times but never made the connection until now. I was trying to have a conversation with a Japanese guy that did not speak nor understand Engrish very well and I kept busting out in Spanish to him, thinking that he would get it. I'm not in Mexico, this rule does not apply anymore....what is my problem? Alcohol? I think NOT!

• We got some snow. Or rather A LOT. This is not normal for Vancouver. But dump it did. I am lucky to have not had any driving issues and the one time I did I got pushed out pretty easily by a friend. So we had a white xmas. White xmas' are cool. I was into it. And apparently, my terror kitty Moco had a ball watching the flakes come down. Just look at the intensity in her eyes:

• And this was outside my work window on xmas eve. Cool view right?

• I spent xmas eve and xmas day with my family. It was interesting to say the least. Having celebrated it so many years without my family, I have to say, I'm on the fence about the whole thing. Having lived in Mexico, I think there is a more relaxed feeling about the holiday than what I experienced here. In Mexico it's about music and people laughing and talking and drinking and letting loose, having a good time. My xmas here was situated around a table (both at mom's and dad's) and I honestly felt restricted and a little strained. It was different for me and my plans of hot chocolate and Bailey's kinda went out the window since I was out late the night before and since dinner can last for at least 5 hours at an Italian household. Yeah, I'm not kidding about the 5 hours!

• I like a boy but he's going away for 7 weeks. Actually I know him from back in the day (just friends then) and we have reconnected (yay Facebook). I'm learning a lot about how normal people behave and react. You'd think that after a year of being free from dickwad that I would have figured things out and that it would be smooth sailing. Not so much. Lots of things flow through my head but at least I'm smart enough to keep them there and discuss them with good friends who quickly remind me that he's behaving like a normal nice guy would. So in his mind, I'm rather normal. I'd like to keep it that way. Anyhow, off he goes traveling for a bit and I really hope he has a fabulous time. In the meantime I will continue to work on myself and reverse the fuckedupedness that's been going on in my head. That's a good word by the way (fuckedupedness). I encourage you all to use it.
  

• Tonight is New Years Eve and I shall happily shed 2008. Not so much because it was a bad year. It wasn't. But a lot of things went on and instead of reflecting on those things, I just want to wish myself a great 2009. The planets are aligned in my favor and frankly, it's about fucking time.
  

Happy New Year my fabulous friends. I love you all. You rock like rock stars and are the sunshine in my day. Seriously it's true. I mean it. Thank you to my friends who have stuck by me in my retardness. I know I'm not always a walk in the park but you get me through it and it means the world to me. Thank you. You really do know who you are and I don't have to name you. So just accept this as a thank you.

So here's to a freaking great 2009. Strive for the best possible YOU ever and all will fall in place for a happy and healthy year.

Muak!

Hugs and kisses.

P.S. Sorry to all my FB friends who have already seen the above pics. I have been sucky at the picture taking thing lately and frankly, I have to RECYCLE!

Brain Freeze

Yesterday was a snowy filled day and though the road conditions on the main roads weren't bad, they were certainly not good on side streets.

Since I have huevos, I drove up the side street where I park my car at the sky train station and promptly pulled into a snowy park space. My wheels began to spin in one spot and so I just decided to back up my car and leave it where it was and deal with the outcome of it later.

I got out of the car and tried to kick away the snow from my tires since it might freeze up and later prove to be a more difficult challenge to clear.

I hopped on the sky train wondering if I would be able to get out of my parking spot and make it to a main street. I often read blogs via my cell phone while I'm on the train and when I went to do that I realized I was on my last power bar and forgot my charger at home. So I quickly turned my cell phone off to conserve energy.

What an idiot and how stupid am I to sacrifice my last life line like that should I need to call someone later on to bail me out!

So all throughout the day I kept my phone off, only turning it on momentarily here and there to check messages and tell people that the phone has been kept off to secure that I would have power later if I needed it.

After work I got to my car, warmed it up, cleared as much snow as possible with my fake ugg boots and got in to give it a try.

There were a couple of scary moments but I believe I am "one with the snow" because I got out A-OK without any problems and felt super chingon about it.

I proceeded to turn my cell phone on and text message my Facebook status to let everyone know that I got out ok since I pretty much told everyone that day that I may have gotten myself stuck, to anyone who would listen.

The best part about all of this is that this morning when I was taking a shower I remembered something.

I have a charger in my car and could have simply charged my phone up if I needed to call for help.

How's that for having a frozen brain?

Blog Police

Supermarket Plastic Divider Space Hog

You know at the supermarket how when you're at the cash you can put that plastic divider after your stuff so that the cashier knows when to total things up for you?

It's also very handy when you've got lots of stuff and you want to get them on the conveyor thingy so that you're not stuck there like a jerk holding up the line.

Well I went the supermarket after work today to grab a few things and there was a dude before me. He had like two things and they were right by the cash.

Like any polite citizen he grabbed the plastic divider and put it down on the little conveyor belt.

But Mr. Polite Citizen soon became Mr. Supermarket Plastic Divider Space Hog when he put the plastic divider not just after his stuff, but way over where I had started to put my stuff making it difficult for me to add more stuff to the conveyor belt.

Confused?

Me too.

That's why I have a diagram. Now you too can see why the hell I'm still dumbfounded by the "this is my empty space on the conveyor belt, I'm not going to share it with you" attitude.

I'm not sure how much he paid for "the gynormous amount of space" on the conveyor belt, but I sure hope the cashier charged him DOUBLE!

MIA

I think I've been MIA for a bit on the blog scene. Usually at first, it's because I don't feel the urge to blog. Then when it lingers it's mostly because I'm busy or have a lot on my mind or there's lots going on that I just don't feel like sharing. :)

But here are some random thoughts so you don't think I've gone into hiding:

• It snowed Saturday night while I was at my company xmas party. It was really really pretty. But you know, it's really cold now and I'm not digging it so much. I mean I can tolerate some cold but we are in the minus for heaven's sake and I'm not up at the cabin covered from head to toe in a snowsuit running around with the snowmobile! Vancouver is NEVER like this so I'm hell-o-confused!
  

• I'm disappointed in a male friend for not respecting the natural friendship boundaries we've been able to maintain for so long. My gut has been telling me for a long time that he wanted to cross those boundaries and I was ok with that knowing that he hasn't made any attempts to cross them. Until he actually crossed the boundaries. I'm thinkin, not so cool.
  

• I reconnected with someone I knew from way back in the day. We were more acquaintances back then, but have developed a friendship and I'm excited to see where this goes.

• I don't know why but I often find myself the middle man in situations I'd rather not me. People end up coming to me with their problems or complaints and I end up in a sticky place getting stressed out about something that is not my problem. I like to help but don't stick me in the middle. That's all I'm asking.

• My 3 month probation at work is up and they would like to put me in a position I'm not too fond of. It threw me into a bit of a tail spin trying to figure out what to do. There are opportunities for me to do what I want to do within the company and I have decided that when I meet to discuss, that I will have to go with my heart and pitch that to them. While people think I am capable of doing what they are asking, it just doesn't interest me like it should.(Boy that sounds so simplified after the drama last night!)
  

• Remember I mentioned I wasn't a fan of the cold? Yeah, neither is my poor little sun catching Diesel. Twice now on walks out he's been so frozen he couldn't continue and I've had to carry him back home. I am limiting our walks out now and I can tell that he is thanking me for it. If he needs to go he's pad trained so we should both stress out less about this whole situation.

• This is my first Christmas back home with the family in longer than I've been living in Cancun. It is a little stressful and confusing and the whole gift thing is a bit of a nightmare. But I think I'll figure it out somehow with some Bailey's and hot chocoloate with marshmallows (of course).

• I already twittered this but I have plans to return to the Martial Arts in January. It's not going to be easy getting back into it considering how hard it's going to be to fill my OWN shoes. But I will do it. And most importantly, I will get to hit things and won't have to go to jail for it.

• Being back around family has been fun and interesting and stressful. I have got a big brother and a big sister and here they are in true form (Isn't it strange how we don't look alike?):

Here's hoping your holiday season is going smoothly! And remember. When in doubt....add a touch of Baileys (no I don't work for them)!

Thunder!

I think it's funny that I associate the sound of the trains below our offices with thunder....something I was use to hearing in Cancun all the time.

It took me a while to figure out that no, it was not thunder, just trains going by slowly down below.

Maybe I should have twittered that?

Oh well too late now.

A blog it is!

Commonality & Connections

On Saturday night I went to a friend of a friend's house to watch the Oscar de La Hoya - Manny Pacquiao fight.


My friend informs me that I should like her friend because he's Mexican and that we should have a lot in common with me having living in Mexico and all.


In retrospect, I thought it was funny that she mentioned that. I think it's natural for people to find commonalities in eachother so that they can make some sort of instant bond and it appeared she was trying to do that in some way. Or rather, make me feel comfortable about going to some stranger's house.


The fight itself was very entertaining and pretty interesting to tell you the truth. That Manny is one fast dude and it seemed that after the 1st round, Oscar was pretty much defeated.


But what was more interesting to me was the bond that I did make with my new Mexican friend. Actually, it was a bond with his cat, his dog and his girlfriend too. Let me explain why.


My new Mexican friend is dating a Canadian girl and together they have adopted not only a street cat that they found in Mexico, but also a dog. Whenever they go to Mexico on vacation they manage to try and help and rescue whatever street animals they can. The last time they were there, the found they cutest Mexican white kitten with pink ears and brought her back to their Vancouver household.


The time before that, they managed to find a poor malnourished street pup who was the runt of the litter and therefore in pretty bad shape. She has some nerve damage to her eyes but so far she is doing well. They took really good care of her and when she was well enough they brought her back to Vancouver as well. What's interesting about this is that this dog is a Xoloitzquintle. Which happens to be a Mayan, hairless dog. Lisa Love would be very jealous. Here is an idea of what she looks like. Her name is Pica:






So here I am in some strangers house and they have a Mexican cat like me (ok well I have 2). They also have a Mexican dog like me and this Mexican dog is from the region I was living in. This stranger is also Mexican, so we were able to discuss Mexico and culture in a mutually understanding way. My new Mexican stranger friend also made some seriously kick ass salsa and guacamole for all of us to snack on and to add to the commonality, his Canadian girlfriend had a good supply of Nibs for us (one of my favorite candies).


Needless to say, it was a fab night and I felt really comfortable in thier home, playing with the Xoloitzquintle, kitten and shooting the shit with people that seemed like old friends.


So I guess, there really is something to having something in common with someone else. The fact that we had so much in common made things so much more enjoyable and friendly and since I truly believe I have 2 homes now (Canada & Mexico), it helped bridge the gap and connect the distance between the two.

Happy Anniversary to ME!

I usually don't get too personal on my blog (unless of course I'm talking about laser hair removal and cinnamon down there), but today I just HAVE to say this to myself.

_____________

Dear You,

First of all, congratulations for being such a strong, sexy and smart woman.

Second, you need to celebrate. Exactly one year ago today, you uttered your last words to a son of a bitch who never deserved to have someone like you in his life. You turned around, and walked away, and no matter what he did to try and get a reaction out of you, you never looked back.

It has been a long, tough road, but, YOU DID IT. Good for you, you are the bomb.

Yay for you!

Love,
Me

P.S. This finger is for fuckhead:

_____________

Ahhhh I feel so much better now!

Cold Tears

Photo courtesy of Flickr

It's really not as dramatic as it may sound. "Cold Tears" sounds like it should be the name of a song or something.

It's not.

Since I haven't been in cold weather for a really long time, my eyes are FREAKING out.

In the morning when it's a bit windy and cold, my eyes say "NOoooooo not again!!!! This is torture!!!", and they cry.

I often have tears streaming down my face as I take the dog out, walk to the skytrain, then walk from they skytrain to work. It doesn't happen at night, only in the morning and I'd like to know when my eyeballs are going to acclimate because this is really obnoxious.

And it ruins my makeup.

So eyeballs.....please catch up with the cold weather and get use to it. I do not want to have to wear goggles. People are already wondering if I'm "ok" and if I wear goggles....they will certainly know that I'm just plain nuts.

cinnamon down there

"Cinnamon down there" was also how someone found me on THIS blog.

That's awesome.

I'm totally contributing to the internets for sure.

I hope you found what you were looking for Mr./Mrs. Cinnamon down there! More than anything, I hope you found your cinnamon....down there......

You might want to keep it up high somewhere.....might be easier to find!

how do i know if my stolen car is in mexico

Like my fellow bloggers, I am always interested in my stats and how people come to land on my blog. The following search term took someone to my Mexico "Way" blog:

"how do i know if my stolen car is in mexico"

I don't think I've ever written about driving your stolen car in Mexico. And I don't think I've driven your stolen car in Mexico, but if I in fact did purchase and drive your stolen car in Mexico, I apologize.

I hope you find it.

Fall Photos

GU-ROSS!

There's this dude at the gym that I've noticed.

I haven't noticed him because he's hot, or sexy, or because he's ripped and has big muscles. I haven't noticed him because I want to bone him or because he has this special aura about him that I can't resist.

I've noticed this guy because he's gross.

He's always sweaty and dripping. His clothes are soaked through, and there are drops dribbling down his legs from up under his shorts (can I get an extra "gu-ross!"). If he just stood there and did nothing I might even accept the grossness. But no. He goes from one piece of equipment to another, to another, to another, (he must have equipment ADD), and spreads the wet grossness all over for your passing the grossnes on pleasure.

He does not wipe up after himself like he should. Or use the fancy spray to disinfect personal grossnesss away. No. Instead he uses an overused gross looking shredded piece of paper towel to DAB HIS FOREHEAD ("insert swearword here in CAPS").

Are you kidding me? You're dabbing your forehead after you've spread your nasty juice everywhere?

(Using the word "juice" takes this to an all time disgusting level high.)

So it doesn't end there.

Because just as I think he is getting less gross from dabbing his forehead, he gets even grosser and disgusting-er.

He walks over to the disinfectant spray bottle, looks around to make sure no one's watching him (I am though cuz I'm sick like that), goes into the corner and lifts his shirt. He sprays all up inside it like it's fucking deoderant or body spray. Spray spray spray like way more times than necessary.

But.

IT. DOES. NOT. STOP. THERE.

He pulls out the front of his shorts and sprays his (ewwww barf hack spew) privates!!!!!

Ok so but it doesn't stop THERE EITHER!

He then pulls out the back of his pants and sprays his ass crack!

What is most disturbing is the number of sprays he sprayed on his privates.

So then, he puts down the bottle and walks away while disinfectant spray mixed with swet and and gross-ness-i-dont-even-want-to-think-about-what-else is in that gross withhes brew running down his legs.

And then he takes his grossly overused shredded paper towel that is all wet and skanky and dabs his forehead.

Uh huh yeah.

It's true.

I can't even make this shit up.

For Bluestreak

You fucking won!

Newsflash!

A construction worker said "Good Morning" to me on my way to work.

He didn't make long kissy sounds followed by a disgusting low toned, "MMmmmm Mamacita Rica" nor did he whistle or a click his mouth or undress me with his eyes.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

And confusing all at the same time. I mean, did he not think I was hot? LOL!

So Um.....

.....Why the heck do people keep saying "A JACKET ALREADY!?" when referring to Diesel and his (warm little blue) jacket (with hood and white fur around the edges) when I take him out for a walk?

Are they clueless that it's F'N FREEZING outside? Are they not aware it's winter!? They have a jacket on.....and gloves....and a scarf....so WTF? Back off and leave my cute little doggie and his blue jacket with hood and white fur around the edges ALONE!

OH and speaking of winter, why do people keep saying, "Oh! HA HA HA! Wait until it's REALLY winter!".

What the F*&#$ is it NOW? As I say, "Bleep it's cold out!".

Too much weed in Vancouver is all I'm sayin!

C.L.U.E.L.E.S.S!

What I Came Home To Today:

Nice right? Let me give you a hint as to who did it.

You can run but you cannot hide!

Here she is inspecting her work:

F'n Moco!

I Couldn't Resist

Thanks Heather!

I was curious to see how much I swore on my "Mexico Way" Blog and this blog. I am totally going to assume that I beat Heather out, but it seems she wins!

This is my Mexico Way blog:

And my current My Guey blog:

You rock Heather. You are totally my swear word idol!

Vancouver Smells Like Pot

I'm sure those of you who have no interest in Madonna will be happy to know that I'm done with the Madonna pics and vids!

Now I'm back to my regular complaining self.

Vancouver smells like pot. Not all the time and it's not everywhere, but if you had to ask me what Vancouver smelled like, I'd probably say something like, "Well it's nice most of the time and there is a crisp, clean, foresty flowerly smell to it, and then other times, it smells like weed. And if it's not weed, it might be a skunk, but sometimes it's very hard to distinguish the difference, because lets face it, really good, really potent pot smells skunky.".

For the record, I do not smoke pot. I don't smoke regular cigarrettes either, and I don't know, I'm just not that into the weed (just like "I'm just not that into you"). It's cool if you're into weed and all that, but for me, it just doesn't tickle my fancy. But living in Vancouver has taught me to recognize the smell of weed and the ability to identify it and so, I notice it. Especially since I've moved back.

I'm also able to identify the smell of shit. Because lets face it folks, Cancun smells like shit in certain areas. It's a fact. So don't get your panties all up in a knot about dissing Cancun etc. etc bla bla blah. Cancun smells like Caca in certain areas because of the fancy open sewage system they have. Yum yum. It's true. And if you have never smelled it, then you might want to get your nose checked, or enjoy the lack of shit smell while you can.

Sometimes that caca smell will vary slightly because it is the smell of rotting matter in the lagoon. So in certain areas of the hotel zone (by the Mayafair Plaza) you will smell a nice funk. It's caca-smelling. From what I've read, heard and been told, there is a lack of oxygen in the lagoon which makes it difficult to naturally break down any biological matter. I've also been told that Cancun sewage is dumped directly into the lagoon. This makes me feel ill and I am choosing not to believe this horrifying rumor. Anyhow, the build up of guck in the lagoon coupled with the intense heat and humidity makes for some yummy cooking olores.

Back in the day when we would hit Azucar for Saturday night salsa dancing, there was always that nice caca smell in that same area and it was more noticeable during certain times of the year. I would always say out loud, "Mmmmmmmm tacos de mierda!" and taxi cab drivers would get a chuckle out of the white girl with the extra sensitive nasal passage and lack of verbal filtering.

So it looks like I've traded the smell of caca for the smell of weed. I think this would make most people happy and I suppose I should be happy too, since second hand weed can be almost as reactive as smoking it yourself...depending on how enclosed the room you are in. So why does it bug me?

Remember when I said that good weed smells kinda skunky? Have you ever heard how good B.C. Bud is? If you're not familiar with it, lets just say, that British Columbia is known for having some really good quality ganja and if you haven't tried it, you might wanna. So anyways, if it's good weed, which it is, I get to smell skunk on a regular basis. Not my idea of fun.

I smell it in my car.....on the skytrain....at work (comes in through the porous brick wall behind me), .......at concerts....on the street.....on people's clothes.....in people's houses....anywhere really.

A good perfume smells good. But if someone puts too much on and you have to smell it too often, it gets to be annoying. Ya hear me?

So.......what does your city smell like?

Cookies? Urine? Pastries? Cheese? Tobacco? Coffee? Fish?

Madonna Vancouver Video

Ok.

As promised, here are my clips (put all together for you) of the Madonna concert.

If you pay close attention, on one of the clips, I follow my boyfriend with the camera and completely forget about Madonna.

And um, plug your ears cuz you can hear me singing in some of the clips, especially the last one. :)

ENJOY!

Madonna Vancouver Pics

As promised, here are the concert pics that I took.

I had such a great time and cannot believe the stamina of this 50 year old woman....uh...not to mention her extremely toned and fit body. I couldn't see any fat on her! And believe me....I was close and looking really really hard! lol.

Anyhow, the highlights of the show were when she came out in this kick ass white care (see pics), when she got pissed at someone for smoking, and when she said, "That fucking clock has been staring at me all night long" (digital clock at the back of the stadium...counting down time) and after she did the song "She's Not Me"she totally psycho spazzed out (no video I too busy watching in amazement....seems I'm not the only psycho thrasher out there! :) ). Oh, and singing "Like A Virgin" with her was pretty cool too (video to come).

OK so I'll shut up now so you can look at the pics. ENJOY!:

That's my boyfriend you see Madonna sitting with in the pic above. I let her borrow him for her show. In one of the videos I'm so enamored with him that I followed him with my camera instead of Madonna. LOL. *Blush*

Stay tuned for videos....have to upload them....such a chore....