Our Scarlett

I promised myself months ago that I would have Scarlett’s birth story up on the blog before she turned 9 months old, seemed like a realistic goal, right?! Apparently not because here I am, the day before she turns one frantically trying to get her story journaled. #momlife

Oh our dearest Scarlett. My sweet baby girl. Her arrival into this world was nothing short of  traumatic and miraculous. I’m starting to think that’s just how my babies like to come! Benson was a long labor that ended in c-section, Rex was a VBAC and my epidural unexpectedly stopped working right when it was time to push annnnnnd Scarlett, well, lets just jump right into her story.

I was induced with Scarlett which I have a love/hate relationship with. Love: When you have multiple kids it’s nice to have things planned out with people watching your children, its waayyy less stressful and if you are a planner like me, that’s a win! Also, it's nice to have a definitive end date. When pregnancy is kicking your trash it's nice to know where the finish line is and that you just have to make it until then! Hate: you have lots of time to think about what you signed up for. Each day that passed I would feel more and more nervous (mixed with excitement, of course). I would sometimes focus on the unpleasant things of labor and then the induction date would then seem to loom over me like a dark cloud! I remember when David and I were driving to the hospital, I said, “I don’t know if I feel like doing this today! What about you?! Maybe we should just turn around and do this "have a baby thing" another day? Yeah!?”. It was like willingly signing up for needles, pain and well, all things child birth. Fun, eh?! Not. Especially when you're a big baby like me. And not knowing if the epidural was or wasn't going to work didn't help either, so it was kind of a d-day of sorts, but a really, really exciting d-day – such a weird feeling! But we knew it was time and we were ready. AND it was really important for me to get the same Doctor that delivered Rex, Dr. Bean. So you do what you gotta do, right?! 

We got to the hospital on July 5, around 11am, signed our lives away and got settled. Around 2:30pm I got my epidural and my water broken, so far so good. I wasn't dilating as fast as I did with Rex so things were somewhat slow going. Thankfully the epidural was holding up. I get really bad shakes when I'm in labor - start to finish - like every muscle in my body shakes uncontrollably...not pleasant. I knew this about myself so going into this labor/delivery I had made a plan to really try hard to take deep calming breaths and stay relaxed in hopes that my shaking wouldn't be so violent and exhausting. After an hour or so after they broke my water, Scarlett's heart rate began to dip on the monitor. A nurse would get alerted on her screen and come in and check on me and baby, re-adjust the monitoring belts, have me switch sides/move around and try and stimulate the baby until her heart rate went back up. Unfortunately it kept getting worse after each dip. Each time her heart rate would dip a little bit lower, or it would take longer for it to come back up to normal. My one nurse taking care of us, turned into three nurses. They began to be more quiet, serious and focused - they would stand and talk quietly over by the monitors and not leave the room. You can feel a difference when something's not right. We tried everything to get her heart rate going. Oxygen, internal monitors, movement etc. and every time was a worse dip than the last. You could've cut the tension with a knife! One of the nurses left to call our doctor, indicating that he needed to get here...fast. the nurses felt like Scarlett might need to come sooner than later. My heart was in my throat. It was a very helpless feeling. Her heart rate would dip to the low 60's and was no longer reaching "normal" rates. I remember praying - pleading to please let her be alright. I was trying to stay calm, to will my body to give her what she needed and get her here safely. 

FINALLY, within a matter of minutes, I was dilated from 6cm to 10cm. Thank goodness! The nurses were relieved - we all were! They made fast work of prepping the room. Then Scarlett's heart rate dipped again. This time into the 40's, I still remember that slow, wayyyy too slow, beep from the machine. The nurses all came to me and the monitors, watching. Her heart rate wasn't coming back up, in fact it was dipping lower. And then in a whirlwind of focused chaos, the head nurse, my main nurse from the beginning said, "We need to have this baby - right now! We can't wait for the Doctor!". And just like that it was go time. No stirrups or controlled pushes, no bed reclined in a certain way and no Doctor. Just instant pushing from right where I had been laying. the head nurse was at the ready and within two pushes I had baby girl out. She was not crying and completely blue. They cut the cord and immediately took her over to the baby warmer/table, I didn't even get to see her. They rubbed her and rubbed her and I could finally hear some soft squeaks. David had gone over there immediately with her, best daddy ever! From my bed I kept asking, "Is she OK, is she going to be OK?" Complete and utter desperation in my voice. David came over to my side. A total guarded look on his face, unsure. Which is not normal for my ever positive and optimistic husband. So I said again to him, "Is she OK, is she doing ok?!" Nothing. Bless him. Hindsight, I think he was trying to process, obviously worried for his baby girl, an emotion I didn't know he had until she was born! (the worried emotion, that is 😉). But in my angst, I thought the worst - I hit him, frantic, loud and crying at this point, "tell me, tell me - what's wrong with her??" Again, my mind thinking the worst. My sister came over to my side and with all the conviction in the world told me that she was fine - that she knew everything was going to be just fine and for me not to worry. And then she said, "see, there - you can hear her crying, she's totally fine!" Honestly, I have tears in my eyes writing this. I have never been more terrified in all my life and I will never forget both my sisters, my mom and David pulling me out of it, the greatest support system. So grateful for family!! I took deep breaths and focused on what I could see and hear, she was crying!! Hallelujah!! A few minutes later, which felt like a life time - she got the all clear and they brought her over to me. Oh boy, the crying!!! Ohhhh the crying. I was hysterical. Holding her and bringing her close to me, smelling her, squeezing her, studying her, kissing her. Her perfect color, healthy, alive and well. Our baby girl was here! Answered prayers in every way! During all the commotion Dr. Bean had shown up, stitched me up and got to hear all about her dramatic entrance into this world! 
She's our little fighter, and has been since day one!
Scarlett Ofelia Pyne
Born 7/5/17 at 5:31pm
6lbs 2oz 19.5in long

 


Sooo forever grateful for our nurses that day, they are our heroes. I know they saved Scarlett's life by making the decisions they did. The nurse that delivered Scarlett had been our nurse assigned to us from the very beginning that day (100% divine intervention in my book) and she was the most experienced nurse on that shift with over 30+ years!
 She was everything!! So much love for them all! 

Baby GIRL

I have sat down to write this post a million times but oddly enough blogging isn't as easy as it used to be. I have kinda felt like I've been asked to write a paper and don't know where to start! I can't believe it's been 2 years since I last blogged!! So I'm sorry if it's a bit boring, but it's really important to me since it's really the only kind of journaling I seem to be able to (halfsies) do so bare with me! ;)

"The Pyne Curse"

Flashback to my 16 year old self when David and I were just babies dating and falling in love. David had a lot of his extended family living close by so we would often go spend time with them and his grandparents on Sundays, so many fun memories! While there with his family is when I first heard all about the "Pyne Curse", as his family calls it. The "curse" being that no one in his family has girls! The only two girls in the family had been adopted in, everyone else being boys. I took this very seriously and knew that if I wanted to marry David Pyne I would have to wrap my brain around and accept the fact that I would have all boys. And apparently the mind is a powerful thing, because do I really believe in curses, no. But I had convinced myself that we we're going to have all boys and there was no thinking differently. We got married and some years later Benson was born, and then Rex. Both boys! Everything going according to plan. Most people don't rule out having the opposite gender be a possibility after just two kids, but I sure did. I am a boy mom and love everything about it! Not to mention that Pyne's don't have girls...so I was told! ;)

Pregnant!
Flash forward to this past summer. We decide that it was time to start trying for baby #3, all the while planning of course, on it being a boy. It took a few months but finally on November 1st we I found out I was pregnant!! Yup, I had just said my goodbyes that morning to David as he left for a two week work trip to China and that very afternoon I took a test, thanks to my very convincing sister! I was certain that time of the month was coming but sure enough there were two little pink lines! It was actually a lot of fun finding out with my sister there because all the girly excitement just naturally poured out of us! There was jumping and squealing and tears and plenty of "OMG's". It was the best! I wanted to tell David in person so I had to keep it a secret for the whole two weeks! It was TORTURE but well worth it when we got to surprise him at the airport with our news! And then pretty much the next day sickness rolled in. Worse then how it was with Rex, much worse! I never threw up once with Rex, I just kind of felt sick a lot of the time. This go around I felt sick and was throwing up everyday, it was miserable because let me tell you, throwing up is not a natural thing for me! lol. And because I'm all about keeping it real, I'm going to paint a very lovely picture of what me throwing up actually looks like; I break every blood vessel in my face and neck (worse than when I give birth), subsequently swelling up around my eyes etc.  AND I pee my pants...every time, EVERYDAY. It was horrible, nightmarish. So I went to the doctors and got prescribed diclegis to help with the nausea, unfortunately it did nothing for me, in fact I felt like it kind of made me feel worse. So then our next option was Zofran, which I really didn't want to take. Thanks to google I read a ton of horror stories about birth defects in babies from mom's who had taken zofran. Great!  Although it worked well in helping me to somewhat be able to function, I ended up rarely taking it. So needless to say it was a long, miserable 16 weeks!

*I'm the worst at asking for help so I just wanted to say a quick shout out to all those that helped in those first few weeks, you all know who you are! Also a huge shout out to my sister Charisse and her husband! Charisse would randomly come over and pick up toys, fold my laundry and clean my house (I'm talking wiping cupboards, counters and sweeping, the works- she's the best!) and my brother-in-law who brought us dinner on so many occasions, we wouldn't have survived without them!! I have the best family!*

It's a GIRL!!
We love to find out what we are having as early as physically possible. It is always worth every penny to us! We love seeing their cute little perfect selves move around and getting a glance of their face and features. It's the best! And for me, it's also a little bit of a reprieve from the misery you feel with sickness. Kind of a, "OK this is so worth it, I can do this" feeling. So at 13 weeks, almost 14 we (Benson and Rex came too!) went in to see what we thought was going to be a little boy. During the appointment while we were looking at her cute little face, and cute feet, and watching her flip and move I kept saying things like, "aw look at HIM!" or "HE is so cute!". And then the ultrasound tech said, "actually it's a "SHE", and just like that my heart exploded. Let me tell you, there were/are no words to describe our shock!! There were tears and cheering (my family was there with us too!) and lots of, "no way" "are you sure?!" and "how certain are you" and my personal favorite from David, "is that going to change in the next couple weeks?!". Our ultrasound tech was awesome and so good with our crazy bunch! She was very knowledgeable and showed us many times and lots of different angles and what specific things they look for to know if it's a girl, showing us that she was/is in fact a girl! We were ecstatic and pretty much floated out of their office, all of us. I felt like someone needed to pinch me, I just couldn't believe it. I honestly never knew I wanted a girl so bad, it wasn't until that very moment I realized. And now, everything feels so new and exciting! It's like being pregnant for the first time again. Our world has been turned upside down and I could not be happier about it. Benson wanted it to be a girl from the moment we told them I was pregnant. And when we were driving home from our appointment Benson said, "Heavenly Father just knew how badly we wanted a baby girl that he sent her to be in our family." She is so loved.
<3 p="">It still feels so surreal. David and I were both SO certain we were going to have all boys! So certain that for years now I've been telling everyone, and I mean EVERYONE that I know or talk to- my all time favorite girl name, hoping they would use it because I knew (or so I thought) that I would never get to use it. But now we do and I can't wait!!! It makes me that much more excited to meet her. I wanted to wait until she was born to share her name but since I've told so many of you already and Benson tells the whole world anyway, I thought I would share now!
We are going to name her..
Scarlett

20 Weeks
I'm 20 weeks today, half way there! I cant believe how much different my baby bump is this time around. I honestly look and feel more like I'm 28 weeks! If I am this big at 20 weeks, I am going to be a house at 40 weeks, I just know it. Anyone else feel this way with their third baby? I would think there were twins if I didn't know any better. I have a feeling she's going to be a big baby. She has always seemed really long on all of her ultrasounds! Our next ultrasound is scheduled for next week and we are so anxious and excited. I wish our doctor did them at 20 weeks, instead of 21 - it's killing me! Anyone else get anxious for the half way ultrasound?! Here's hoping she's doing well and developing as she should! I only wish I could feel her move like I could with her brothers. She has always been so busy when we see her on ultrasounds but I don't feel her as much as I would like or remember with my past pregnancies - especially with how long she has seemed. Maybe her kicks are just a little more dainty and not full on jabs like her brothers! Anyway, we cant wait for next Monday to check in on our little miss and see how she's growing.
With this being our third baby and a girl we are getting rid of a few things...expired car-seat that went with our now beat up (two boys later) stroller, diaper bag and a few other things. I've been out of the "buying baby stuff loop" so if there is anything you know of and love, tell me about it!
Can it just be July already?!

******

Fresh from Heaven: William Rex

Ok, lets start back at 36 weeks pregnant...yup, this is going to be a novel of a blog post so grab yourself a snack and get comfy! Also, I'm just going to say it right now, this might not be the story for some of you, particularly any men or squeamish souls...you've been warned! 

November 21st and 36 weeks pregnant- I have my first Dr. check to see if I am dilated any, and lo and behold, I am 3cm and 80% effaced! And for anyone who doesn't know what effaced means here's the definition; Effacement is the process by which the cervix prepares for delivery. After the baby has engaged in the pelvis, it gradually drops closer to the cervix; the cervix gradually softens, and becomes thinner. So to sum up, the cervix has to be at 100% for the baby to come out. I was a little surprised at where I was already so I asked the midwife what she thought. She went on to say that I "could either stay at 3cm dilated for weeks or go into labor that very day, nobody knows, every women's body is so different"...which really told me nothing...great thanks lady! I was hoping for that crystal ball answer because the thought of not knowing was pure torture! I went home and packed my hospital bag, told the family we were having a baby at any moment (word to the wise...don't ever do that) and had stare down threats with my pregnant belly. I became keenly aware of every little EVERY thing that had to do with my body! What also didnt help our anxiousness was that a few days after my appointment I lost my mucus plug, and from everything I had read, it meant that labor was upon us at any moment. Which was very FALSE. Side note; You can actually loose your mucus plug multiple times because it can re plug its self, I ended up losing mine 3 times before we had Rex!  

December 1st and 37 weeks pregnant- 2nd check and I am dilated 4 cm but still 80% effaced!! Wowzers, almost half way there to a 10! At this point I was having second thoughts about my being ready for this baby's imminent arrival, and I was thinking that I was surprisingly feeling pretty good and OK with being pregnant. Maybe the baby could just stay in forever? I stopped taking my birth prep (which I will talk about later) and stopped walking and made sure to sit with my legs crossed to keep that baby IN! I was a little bit crazy/nervous as you will see. 

December 9th and 38 weeks pregnant- The midwife was surprised to see me at my appointment having thought that I would've gone into labor already, which I then told her to 'join the club!' Another reason why you don't tell people that you are due any day because then when weeks go by you won't look so silly! Anyhoo, she did my 3rd check and I am still 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. The midwife then tells me that my bag of water is bulging, meaning it is bulging out of the 4cm that I've dilated! Eeeeek! She asked if I wanted to feel it, and I quickly replied with a startled "Um yeah, NO THANKS" I mean seriously?! Eeew! I'm just not one of those women that get in to all that, you know? So she begins to tell me that at 4cm dilated they will admit me into the hospital and at this point if they were to break my water I would probably go into labor. This all sounded great! I could calmly walk right into the hospital, be all ready to go and basically be induced without being technically 'induced'. Do you know how hard it is to be hugely pregnant and consistently showered and doll'd up 24/7 in fear of going into labor at any moment? The struggle was real. I went home and talked things over with the hubs. I was nervous that forcing my body into labor would be exactly how things went with Benson which ended in a c-section and I desperately didn't want that. So we decided to just wait and let my body do it's thing, meanwhile questioning if my body KNEW how to do it's thing. Seriously. I was concerned my body didn't know how to flip that switch into active labor. I was doing okay though with being pregnant. The last 4 weeks for me with Benson were pure h-e-double hockey sticks. It was absolutely horrible. But the last weeks of this pregnancy had been actually really great! I was uncomfortable yes, but by no means miserable! So I was content to let little baby boy come when HE felt ready to come. So I walked a lot (best Utah December weather ever!), had tons of energy and tried to enjoy the last bit of it all.

December 15th and 39 weeks pregnant- 4th appointment, the midwife checks and I am dilated to 6CM!!! WHAT?!?!? All I could think was, 'How is that even possible?!?' How does one casually walk around only a mere 4 cm a way from a baby slipping out?! I was afraid to sneeze or laugh too hard! And because I know all of  you are dying to know...my bag of water was again bulging! How had it not broken already?! (Overshare?? Newsflash- this whole blog post is an overshare so feel free to take a breather here folks, And for any of you thinking I'm taking the detail a little too far, you just might want to read no further.) Where was I? Oh yes. All this dilating while being totally and completely comfortable. I was shocked! As I was hoping this birth to be my first vaginal delivery I wanted to make sure that we made it in time for an epidural, but all I was hearing from people is that when this thing happens it is going to happen fast. I was feeling a little worried that I wouldn't make it to the hospital in time for that oh so precious epidural! The midwife gave me the 'I could go to the hospital now' option again but I decided to risk it and just go home. She then suggested I come back the following morning to have my membranes stripped, blehhh. I was told to stay relatively close to the hospital and not to drive anywhere, yikes! All day I battled with the thought of "Should we just go to the hospital? Is this silly of me? Are we going to make it in time? If we go and force this thing am I going to have another c-section?" So many thoughts and unknowns!! I have never been more anxious in my life. At home that afternoon I went on another walk, did a bagrillion squats and climbed two flights of stairs up and down for a good 30+ mins which is really quite the feat 39 weeks pregnant! All trying to get my water to break aaaand nothing. Morning came and nothing. So I reluctantly went back to the doctors that morning to have my membranes stripped which I absolutely hate. I had been putting it off but with Christmas around the corner it was time. 

December 16th
Membranes stripped-check! While there at the doctors office the midwife informs me that since December 5th the hospital has had a strict ban on anyone entering the hospital 14yrs or younger because of the flu, so Benson would not be allowed at the hospital with us. This was like a dagger to my heart. I made it out of there with out crumbling but the moment I got into the car I fell apart. I called and told David, although I'm pretty sure he couldn't understand me through my sobs. It was a big deal to me for Benson to be there for so many different reasons. I needed him, my baby! I somehow pulled myself together and Benson and I then drove to my niece's little ballet recital. We pulled in just as my sister did and she asked me how my appointment went and then there went the flood gates, I burst into tears! I again collected myself after a min and we walked in together to sit next to my parents and my other sister. My dad then asked how it went simultaneously as Kaitlyn was trying to signal him not to ask. Again with the tears. I laugh about it now, but boy was I an emotional disaster. This time I couldn't reel it in so I had to quickly run to the restroom cause I was making quite the scene. Really I was just moved by the adorable ballet routine from all those cute 4 year olds- I just couldn't control myself!  After Bella's dance recital, my pops headed back to work and all us ladies decide to go get some lunch, a last hoorah if you will. So we pick the closest place, Pizza Pie Cafe, and we go and have a grand ol' stuff your face, all you can eat party! It's a buffet, sooo yeah. We ate a lot, I ate a lot. Because who among us does not eat their feelings?? I know I do. Anyway, we ate enough for nine armies and then rolled ourselves out of there and headed back home. We get home and I put Benson down for a nap. 

1:30pm- I'm talking to my little sis (Kaitlyn) in the kitchen when all of the sudden I feel as if a rubber band snapped inside me and then a warm trickle of water drizzled down my legs as if I had just pee'd my pants. I froze, I literally froze! Kaitlyn is looking at me all confused and asks, 'What's wrong?!' I finally get an answer out to her- "I think my water just broke! What do we do?!" Yup, my brain froze too. I mean really?? What do we do?? Come on now. I had been playing this moment out for weeks and I literally couldn't put two thoughts together. I again say with a little more concern in my voice, "What should we do?!" My mom then pipes up and says, "we should go to the hospital!" Thank goodness for her. So she grabs my bag and starts to head out the door and I am still standing frozen in the kitchen crazily terrified to move! She tells me to come on, and I snap out of it and slowly waddle myself out the door. Kaitlyn yells at me that she will call David, oh goodness yes...my husband, someone call him! Thank goodness for her too. We get in my mom's car and she holds my hand the whole way there. Such a tender mommy moment for me that I really needed! During the drive, with each contraction that came a ton more water would gush out and by the time we got to the hospital I was DRENCHED! 

2:00pm- We park and walk inside the main hospital entrance, I felt like I had an egg on my face people. Here I am, heavy with child and my pants and boots are dripping wet, like I am literally dripping. It's pretty obvious to everyone around what was going on and I felt like all eyes were on me...it was the longest walk of my life! My contractions up to this point were not too bad at all but each one was getting progressively more intense. We get to the L&D floor and of course it is grand central station with everyone and their dog having a baby today. The front desk lady says, "let me go talk to one of the nurses and see if we have room for you". Yeah okay, you go do that and take your time...I'll just be here...dripping, and keeping my baby in!! Seriously, I was starting to panic a little at this point. So after a min they bring us back to a room. My sweet mother helps me out of my wet clothes and into a hospital gown AND asks the nurse for the epidural all before I was situated in the hospital bed. I tell ya, that lovely lady takes care of me. I had had a few bad contractions while getting settled so I was glad the epidural was on it's way. I mean, I was already dilated to 6cm with no epidural, I say that's a win! A few minutes after getting settled my cute husband comes rushing in! I wish I could adequately describe the look on his face, basically he loves me. He comes in and says, "phew, I made it!". Soon after the man with the goods (epidural man) walks in. My contractions were actually manageable and I thought maybe I should hold off and not be so hasty, but at the same time I knew I wanted an epidural for when it came time to push, so I figured now or later wouldn't really matter...might as well be comfortable. 
This time around the epidural going in was much easier, he only had to poke me once, success! My sisters Charisse and Kaitlyn and cousin Charlene walk in and it's officially a party in the hospital room. Although for me, I just rested and enjoyed everyone's very excited conversations. I was focused on NOT getting the shakes like I had had with Benson, and hanging on the very real hope of being able to have a VBAC, so I didn't really say much the whole time. Also I felt sooo tired for some reason almost woozy. A little bit later my dad showed up to hang out too! The nurse later checked me and I was still at 6cm but 100% effaced which was good but not where we thought I was going to be. The nurse and midwife came back a little later and talked to me about maybe adding a small dosage of pitocin in my IV to get things going. They left again but the nurse said she would be back and see where I was at in a little bit before they started me on it. Within minutes of her leaving I felt pressure so I called the nurse back and sure enough I was 10cm and ready to go! The feeling in that room went from just hanging out, to all business in minutes. My mom was telling me how to push and I was starting to feel like I was being asked to climb Mount Everest. I couldn't wrap my brain around the idea that pushing like I was going to the bathroom was going to somehow get this baby out of me. It blew my mind. Side note; I feel compelled to write this next bit. This is one of those 'nobody talks about things' that I feel like should really be talked about. So I'm taking the initiative on this one since I've crossed all sorts of boundaries already in the post, soo yeah. Ready? Here it is...lots of women poop while birthing/pushing babies out. There, I said it. They poop and it's OK and completely NORMAL. This little bit of information was like a warm hug to me in my last weeks of pregnancy. I had been thinking in my head about this very thing. I was worried and sure that this would happen to me since you are using every single muscle in your body to push in one specific area. I was completely horrified that I would be that girl that all the nurses and doctors talk about, you know...the freak that pooped while pushing. I personally would rather be stark naked and any other mortifying thing you can think of then poop while pushing. This was all before I knew anything. Then one play group with my cousins (women that have all had children and a cousin that is a L&D nurse as-well) I sheepishly broached the subject because I couldn't keep it in any longer. I was so happy to find out that actually most women do! Phew! That it is so completely normal and 100% not weird at all. I felt like I needed to shout from the roof tops that everything was going to be O.K.!! Seriously, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was so thankful for those ladies that day and really everyday. I knew that when the time came I could walk into that Labor & Delivery room with my head held high no matter what happened. So I hope for some of you wondering this very same thing, that this bit of info brings you as much comfort as it did for me. Now lets hug it out and move on. Anyhooo, so we get ready to push. I was soo happy to be at this point! I felt like I had made it, I was on my way to a VBAC! We start pushing and I am just having the hardest time with the breathing counting thing. Actually it was quite hilarious. I was soooo totally over-thinking it all because I just wanted to do it right so bad! I would say, "so I breath and then take a deep breath?!?" or "can we start over I messed up" or "Am I doing this right?" haha, I was a mess! As luck would have it, the only midwife out of the whole group that I did not like was the one that happened to be on call while I was there. She was completely stone cold, almost as if she had never done this before. She would ask the nurse questions. For example, Rex's heart beat was not being picked up very well by the stomach monitors so she asked the nurse, "should we put an internal heart monitor in, what do you think?" She did not instill confidence or support of any kind in me or in her ability as a midwife. I kept looking at her while I was pushing and I couldn't read that lady. I was super sensitive about it too because of the risks involved, and her look consistently seemed to be one of concern. It made me nervous and uneasy. It was very tense in that room. After a few pushes the midwife got called out of the room and so the nurse took over. I absolutely LOVED her! Meanwhile while pushing, Rex's heart was taking a beating. Every time I would have a contraction and push his heart would dip pretty low. After I would stop pushing they would rub his head to stimulate him and it would gradually come back up to normal before I had to push again. They put me on oxygen to try and help him out. Also my epidural decided to stop working at this point. Which was kinda ironic because I had wanted an epidural solely for my "1st baby coming out of me" rodeo. You know, to pave the way for other future babies cause I had heard the first birth is the worst. Anyway I was NOT prepared for that. So imagine a very, in pain Brittany, if you will. So I keep pushing a few more times and the midwife comes back in and tells me that the doctor on call had been watching the monitors and that he is a little concerned about the baby's heart rate. She said that he might come in and take over if I cant make more significant progress. All I heard was c-section. This was not news I wanted to hear. I was so worried for our sweet baby, and felt very helpless. I push a few more times trying my hardest, things going not how I thought they would. Little Rex's heart rate was getting worse. After each push it was taking longer and longer for his heart beat to go back to normal and I still hadn't even pushed him past my pubic bone yet, meaning there was still a lot of pushing in front of us. I push again and then in walks the doctor. My heart sinks, my emotions all over the place and feeling very discouraged. But to my luck once again, the doctor that had walked in happened to be the Doctor I liked most above all the midwives and all the other doctors as well! Doctor Bean!! (His name will forever be associated with a moment of silence in our home!) A lot about how things go depends on the doctor. He walked in and with him the motivation and strength I needed came back! He came to the side of my bed and looked at me straight in the eyes and with caring, empowering sternness he said, "You are going to have this baby that(vaginally) way, you can do it..I know you can." Boom, I felt it, everyone felt it! The mood in the room totally changed! I get the chills even typing this! He then said, "I am concerned about the baby's heart beat and the stress we are putting on your incision with each contraction so we may have to use forceps or a vacuum to get him out fast if it comes to that." He said a few more empowering things and then left. While he had been talking with me the midwife had left because again there were a million people having babies right then. I was fine to see her go. I felt pumped and ready to do this!! Just like that I give another solid push and there the baby was with his head crowning, past the pubic bone and all!! At that point the nurse tells me to stop pushing and gets the doctor. Everyone in the room (my Mom, Charisse, Kaitlyn my cuz Charlene and David) started to cheer and say, "you are there, you can do it" and all other sorts of loud encouraging noises that I just couldn't handle at that moment. I could feel so much pain it was unreal. Yeah, that whole ring of fire thing is real. Not to mention that I was light headed and dizzy from all the pushing. So I put my hand up and not so nicely said, "everyone stop it please, just stop". I mean, seriously they have you stop pushing at the most horrible time ever. It's like "oh you are REALLY hurting now, OK lets stop" all I wanted to do was push and I couldn't. I know why they have you stop but still...one word...torture. The doctor(YAY!) came back in in his birthing ensemble and they made fast work of getting the room all set up which was good. We were back to it pretty quickly. A few more pushes, a bit of screaming yelling(because the word 'screaming' just sounds a bit to graphic...I'm trying to keep this thing PG) and a ton of burst blood vessels in my face, our sweet baby Rex was finally out!! They laid him on my chest and I dissolved into tears. My tears were a little different though from what I think most people experience. Mine were tears of pure relief. Relief that Rex was OK because I had been soo worried about him. Relief that he was out and that I was ok and relief that that whole horrendous ordeal was over. There was not a dry eye in the room. It was such a special moment. Giving birth is a miracle in every ounce of the word. Our baby was here and my heart grew 3 times it's size in that very moment. Rex didn't cry at first and actually didn't ever really cry. He was a bit blue and they kept rubbing and patting him and suctioning his mouth out. After a little bit his color slowly started to get a little pinker. They listened to his heart while he was on my chest a couple times and everything was okay. Meanwhile the doctor was stitching me up which was putting a bit of a damper on our special moment since I was feeling every stitch, but it was nothing in comparison to the pain I had just endured. Plus I was in another world with our new baby and borderline delirious, so it was okay. I guess Rex and I had both been through it! In the words of my sister,"You look haggard!" and I felt haggard too. Oh! Funny story, Rex pooped just as he was coming out, and then he pee'd right when they laid him on my chest. Oh boy. But at least it wasn't me doing the pooping! Don't worry, I made sure to tell him that is was okay and totally normal, hehe! ;)  

William Rex Pyne

7lbs and 19 inches long

Born at 5:28pm on Tuesday December 16th 2014 

Here are some pictures from that special day that my cousin took for us!

A big high five to all of you that have made it this far! I think I've hit my child neglect quota for the day so we will have to stop here for now. Part 2 will be juicy good and chalk full of more of this yummy baby and all the glorious things they don't tell you about giving birth! Stay tuned! 

And his name will be...

Boy
Boy #2 

Fitting, right? Yeahhh we're keeping things real simple over here. 

Well I was hitting the baby name's list hard again 
this afternoon and getting no where so I decided that it's probably about time I blog about baby boy #2's pregnancy story. I also have plans to write a 2 year update on Benson one of these days too but seeing as how I'm a ticking time bomb I thought I should get this down first!

So here ya go for anyone interested!

As many of you might know, this little miracle baby was totally and completely not planned! Which is a miracle in and of itself. Benson was born in the winter time and I had always told myself afterwards that we would never do that again! I'd felt that a lot of my postpartum issues came from it being winter time, i.e. cabin fever, weight loss issues, gloominess/depression etc. also sicknesses and germs run rampant in the winter.So all of the above plus some other reasons led me to the decision that winter time was not for having babies. Flashback a year ago, Benson turns 1!! Yay! David starts planting the 'we should try for another one' idea in my head but I very quickly and easily pushed those thoughts away. I wasn't ready. He kept saying that it took us a long time to get pregnant with Benson and that we should start trying just in case it takes just as long. But again, I wasn't ready. I felt like I was finally getting a grip on things, finally loosing weight and finally in a routine with Benson. I didn't want to rock the boat, selfish I know. I felt very happy with where life was and that my heart and home was full and happy. I loved being Benson's everything, he was my little buddy. I loved the bond we had with each other and I felt having another would distract my time and attention and make me miss all the little things about Benson growing up. I didn't feel any urge to grow our family and I was comfortable with that. But mostly I think I was just scared. November came and went, December came and went so on and so forth...all the while David very gently sharing his thoughts and feelings on having more children. But again, I think my fear and hesitation for change and the unknown and everything else kept the baby ideas at bay. It was starting to become quite an inner struggle with myself. I knew around February that I wanted more children, and that I wanted them to be close in age but I could not bring myself to take that next step. I'm sure having more children is an easy decision for a lot of you but for some reason I struggled. I had many a conversation with my bosom sister (Emma) and lots of talks with my good friends in AZ that helped a ton, but I still couldn't bring myself to feel that readiness/eagerness that I knew I had felt with Benson. Not to mention we were in the thick of those 'can't get pregnant or the baby will be born in the winter time' months so I had control of the situation and knew I had time to get on the same page with my head and my heart. I wouldn't have to stress or think about it until much later, so I thought...

March rolls around and that lovely time of the month never showed up. If you can only imagine our pure and utter shock! Not only because we weren't even trying, but the fact that we had tried for so long with Benson to no avail for almost a year and then BAM to be pregnant on accident!? Whaaat?!?!?!?! How does that even happen?? I mean I know how it happens...nvm, don't answer that! We then calculated the due date and it was to be December 18th, WHAAAT?!?! Not just a winter month, but THE winter month and just a few days shy of Christmas. I had always said from the time I was a little girl that I never wanted to get married in December or have kids in December, it's too special of a month to share with other special things. If you can't tell, December/Christmas have a warm place in my heart. But ironies of life would have it, not only was I married in December, but now we were to expect our second child in the month of DECEMBER. I quickly came to the conclusion that God has a sense of humor and that there was something to learn from all this. First and foremost everything is on the Lord's timing. Also, he knows us better then we know ourselves. I think he knew that I was letting my fear control my faith and that I probably would have continued like that for a long time. There is no denying and no doubt in our mind that this little boy is supposed to be a part of our family and to be a part of it come December. 

So, I was pregnant. Wrapping my brain around that wasn't as hard as one might think considering how resistant I was to the idea. There were only a few tears shed, and mostly only happy tears thanks to a loving and incredible husband despite my entire loss in control of the situation. I was at peace and we were both extremely happy!!

Then just like that, I was sick. Horribly sick. My world got changed upside down and I basically fell off the face of the Earth. It was probably one of the worst times in my life. I basically couldn't leave the couch which a lot of times resulted in plopping Benson in front of the T.V. and throwing him food from where I laid. If I wasn't crying about how miserable I felt, then I was crying about what I horrible mother I was. It was no fun. But through all of that I have never felt more love and help from friends and family in a time when I needed help the most, I will never forget it. I am the WORST at asking for help and hate to put people out but my friends would just come and pick Benson up because they knew I needed that. They would keep him for a long time so I could rest and he could play, they were constantly offering to help. I even unexpectedly balled my eyes out on my door step one of those times my friend came by, thanks Carlene for being there for me that day, emotionally and physically, the greatest friends ever! David worked from home when he could, my mom flew in for a week to help and luckily the weather was still nice outside so that I could let Benson run around out front of our house here and there. Somehow we survived. It was the longest 16 weeks of my life. 

I was not sick for a minute with Benson so because of that I thought for sure we were having a girl! We had a name picked out and everything but to our added surprise at 14 weeks we found out we were having another BOY!! As you can imagine, David was elated! And so was I! I had to switch gears a little because I was 100% sure it was a girl but was actually hoping for a boy all along, a little buddy for Benson!! It was a win. 

We made the move to UT when I was about 15 weeks pregnant. David was and is my hero, he pretty much single-handedly moved our entire family and still worked up until the weekend we drove away, he's amazing. I was not much help during those sick months. It was a crazy time if you can imagine! But eventually, around 16-17 weeks I started feeling loads better. and thankfully I have not felt sick like that since! PHEW! When the dust finally cleared (sickness, moving and settling in craziness) we decided it was finally time to come out of the pregnancy closet! So at 18 weeks we posted this: 

We wanted to wait until my 20 week ultrasound to doubly make sure we were having a boy before we announced the gender, especially since we had found out so early! But sure enough at our 20 week appt, baby boy was still a boy and everything checked out and looked great!! Here are some ultrasound pictures from our first appointment at 9 weeks and all the others up to our 20 week appointment:

10 weeks pregnant

 3D ultrasound- 10 weeks 

3D ultrasound 14 w 6 d pregnant, and the big gender reveal!! And yes, baby boy has legs for anyone concerned... 

20+ weeks- little feet!

20+ weeks- cutest little profile!! Benson loves his baby brother so much that he decided to show us by crinkling hugging our only print out :)

Sidenote: I looove the new doctors office we are seeing out here, if anyone needs a good OBGYN in the American Fork area let me know! 

2nd Trimester:

With Benson, as soon as I hit my second trimester I had sooo much energy, well that has not been the case with this one! Although I've felt great, that first trimester exhaustion followed me all through my second trimester and still now. I'm sure we can chalk that up to chasing around a big two year old and not being able to nap and sleep whenever I want. Also that 2 year old is quite the momma's boy, so everything is 'Mommy do it' right now. Ahh such is life! But on the flip side, I had horrible hip pain a lot of my pregnancy with Benson and I haven't had any of that this time around, thank goodness!! I feel like I have stayed a lot more active this time around with walks every day and staying busy with Benson. Hopefully that will help whip things back into shape after the baby comes. When I was pregnant with Benson, I had an anterior placenta, meaning the placenta was in front, a barrier between the baby and my stomach. And because of that, all of Benson's movements and kicks were (I'm realizing) really light and not so easily felt. I didn't realize that at the time cause that's all I knew. I mean, I felt him move a lot but it just wasn't very strong. But with this baby the placenta is posterior, meaning it's on the backside so I feel every little EVERYTHING soo well. It is really, really cool! Sometimes it,'s so much movement or just weird movement that it takes my breath away and makes me a little nauseous, but still really neat! It's incredible and has been my most favorite part of this pregnancy! Benson has been able to feel his baby brother and thinks it's the coolest thing ever. We've also taken him along with us to all the ultrasound appointments too, which has been neat. I don't think he quite understands what's going on...kind of a hard concept for a two year old to grasp but it's been oh so fun. He will lay on my belly and give 'baby brother' kisses, it's the sweetest thing. Also he's had some great input on what his baby brother's name should be!

20 weeks pregnant! 

24 weeks pregnant!

3rd Trimester:

Time has been a weird thing with this pregnancy. I felt like when I was really sick the days were long and horrible but the weeks went by so fast and it has only gone faster since then. I honestly can NOT believe that I am sitting here typing this with less then a month left until our due date. With Benson's pregnancy it dragged on for me, we were so ready for him almost the moment we found out we were pregnant! With this little man, it's been the opposite! We are not ready AT ALL!! We just bought our first box of newborn diapers last week and we need to pull out and go through all of Benson's old clothes and newborn stuff. We don't have anything set up or cleaned and our to do list is a mile long. Am I stressing anyone else out yet?? I'm stressing! Not to mention the fact that I don't feel emotionally ready either! It has definitely been a more emotional ride with this pregnancy. I worry a lot about Benson, I worry a lot about the kind of mother I will be with two, how I will manage everything, will there be enough love, what the dynamics will be like etc. Also I feel like my life is going to get all sorts of crazy here soon so I need to soak up every minute with Benson, and it being just the three of us. Only 3ish weeks left with Benson and I could cry about it every single day. I am seriously a mess, THANK YOU hormones. It's not to say we aren't excited for this new little baby, I guess it's just nerves. It will be like ripping a band-aid off I'm sure, when it happens it will all feel natural and wonderful and like we have always been a family of four, right?! 

Also something that has been on my mind a lot is that this labor and delivery will basically be like the first time for me. Yes I had Benson, but I was induced and ended up with a c-section. Never went into labor on my own and know nothing about pushing a baby out. After much thought and research we've decided to shoot for a V-BAC, (vaginal birth after cesarean). I am so completely a mess about that too! It's that whole unknown issue again. There are risks associated with a V-BAC, and I just hope everything goes smoothly and well. I know a lot of women that have had successful v-bac's so I hope we can be numbered among them. But no matter what, if I end up with a c-section again or if we have this baby naturally all I hope for is a smooth and safe delivery for both the little one and myself. All we pray for is a healthy baby boy, no matter how he comes! I decided to go the mid-wife route this time around too and have loooved it, and them!! Such a difference. There will be a Doctor there (of course) on call just in case, but everything else will and has been with the midwives. There is such a confident, nurturing-ness about the midwives that not only makes you feel warm and fuzzy and taken care of, but makes you feel like you're empowered, like you can do anything! They are great. 

Even though we aren't quite ready, it's feels so nice to be in the home stretch. Being pregnant is not easy! There are some women out there that thrive when they're pregnant, that love to be pregnant and feel that they could be pregnant forever...yeahhh, I am so not one of those people. I don't even really like being pregnant, honestly I kind of hate it. From the funky hormones, to the uncomfortableness, sleep frustrations, feeling huge, ribs becoming a play gym, waking up multiple times in the middle of the night to pee THREE drops, nothing fitting right, acid reflux, exhaustion, charlie horses and restless legs, weird pains in weird places... just to name a few things. Yeah it's definitely not my favorite thing but it's a means to an end and the end is worth every bit of it. It's interesting because this time around having a baby has such a real life impact than when I was pregnant with Benson. I thought it was all going to be rainbows and butterflies when I had B...it was all about the snuggles and the deliciousness that is a newborn. But this time around I know what it's really like, yes the snuggles and newborn deliciousness is yummy and a very real thing, but there is also the sleepless nights, breast-feeding woes, endless diaper changes etc. that has forced the rose colored glasses off, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I can't wait to know and feel of this baby's special spirit and the added blessing he will be in our lives. 

28 weeks pregnant! The picture on the right is when I was pregnant with Benson. So interesting to see the difference! 

30 weeks pregnant and not my best picture but had to compare! Picture on right is 30 weeks with Benson. 

32 weeks pregnant

36 weeks pregnant and keeping it real in my sweats and t-shirt, all I wear these days! 

We feel so full of gratitude for all we've been blessed with in life, the good and the bad and for all the love and support we have felt from our dear family and friends! And let's be honest, a special thanks/shout out to all those that have sent name suggestions our way. You all are the unsung hero's if you ask me!! 

Here's to the next 3 weeks and being able to see my toes again! 

YAY!