A Mother's Love

Dear Mary,

We have never met, but every year at this time we sing countless songs about you. I carefully place a figurine of you in the center of my precious nativity, with baby Jesus directly in front of you.

I have often wondered how you could endure riding on the back of a donkey, 9 months pregnant, so many miles as you and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem. It must have crushed you to realize you would bring the Savior of the world, into the world in a lowly stable.

This year, as a new mother, I have thought about you a lot more. I feel like I have gained new perspective and understanding as to a mother’s love. Everyday I pray for guidance to be the best mother to my son. Am I being the best mother I can be? Am I teaching him the things he needs to know? Do I have the Spirit strong enough in my heart to teach him how to feel it? Will I be able to instill in him the power of prayer? Will I be able to teach him the things he needs to know to be a responsible, kind, loving adult?

As I snuggle my little boy and dote on his every move my thoughts have gone to you during this Christmas season. I’m sure that each ‘coo’ from your little one pleased you with delight. I’m sure you sang him countless lullabies. I’m sure you prayed for strength to raise him in a way that was pleasing to the Lord. Did you know all that your son would be required to bear? Even, knowing that he was the Son of God, could you comprehend at the time all that meant to every living person that would ever walk earth?

I feel the responsibility to raise my little one in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I cannot even begin to comprehend the weight of your task… to know that you were raising your little one to save every member of mankind as long as they accept Him and the sacrifice He made for them.

I love you and appreciate you in a whole new light.

Thank you for sharing your son with the world.

What an honor it is to celebrate His birth.

All he wants for Christmas...

Yep! Cal is getting his two front teeth.

He started sticking out his tongue- which is adorable- but when the drool increased almost 100% we knew something was up. (Can you see it coming down the front of his little santa suit?:)

He is very protective of his new little assets. When his bottom teeth were coming in he liked to chew on our fingers any chance he could. But not now. If I get my fingers anywhere near his mouth he buttons his lips- sealed shut!

The right one has completely broken through, but the left still has a little ways to go.

I would include a picture of his new teeth, but it is impossible.

He is so cute we could eat-him-up!!

Our little boy sure is growing up!

We're seeing RED!!!

Anyone who knows us well know that we are true blue BYU fans. In fact, I'm pretty sure Patrick bleeds blue! We both graduated from BYU so it goes reason that we would be loyal Cougars... but it goes deeper than that!

In fact, I will share a little secret... we shop at Costco pretty regularly. (that's not the secret:) At Costco they used to have blue grocery carts and red carts. Patrick would only use the blue carts, even if it meant searching a bit for it... I would say 1/2 of his casual wardrobe dons the BYU logo. Yeah, they man is loyal!

I have a good friend in my ward and she is perfect in EVERY way... except one. She is a Ute fan. We just don't understand.

Every year right before the big BYU- U of U football game we can expect some kind of surprise from Becca. The banter back and forth is awesome and makes the rivalry extra fun.

This year she got us... she got us good. In fact, so good I don't think we can ever, in a million years, top it.

We drove back from Cali for Thanksgiving just in time to make it to the big game. As we pulled into our drive way we got the shock of our life...
Here is a close up...

How did she get these picture of Cal in the crimson red?? We were so confused!

And then it hit me.

Almost 2 months before she offered to babysit Cal for us. I thought she was so kind to offer- but really her evil plot was about to unfold. She dressed him up, snapped the photos and then had our other good friend photoshop them into this poster.

But wait, it gets worse.

When I called Becca (I was laughing so hard I could hardly breathe) she said something to this affect... "I made a FEW extra copies into a postcard size and put them on our neighbors doors"

At church on Sunday friends came up to us the entire time questioning the postcard taped to their door. We said just one word... "BECCA" and they started to laugh.

This year the Cougars won on the field. But really Becca, you win!! :) Good job!

Thanks for making us smile!

So much to be thankful for...

We are so blessed.

As I think about my life I feel overwhelmed with gratitude...

Pure thankfulness.
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Thanksgiving is always a wonderful time to reflect on the things that are most precious and dear.

I have to start off with my sweet husband.
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Patrick is an amazing husband. He supports me in all that I do. He really is my very best friend. He is a wonderful father. I have had SO much joy this year watching him with our little one.

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Patrick makes life fun!

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I love this picture. When I heard my boys laughing during bath time I had to come and see what was going on. I'm not quite sure how, but Cal just knew it was funny!

His tummy says, "Cal loves Mom" How cute it that?

I am so thankful for our little Cal. Words cannot express the joy he brings into our life. At such a young age his little personality shines through. We are grateful to his birth-mother... again, words cannot express.

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I am so thankful for my parents.

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We were able to travel to California this Thanksgiving to be with them. My mom is the best hostess in the whole wide world! There is always delicious homemade food ready for our arrival. But the truth is, she plans and prepares for her family to arrive for WEEKS- probably over a month! Every room is decorated in a festive way. I love it!

Cal LOVED my mom's homemade split pea soup- but hey, who wouldn't?

These are her buffet tables all ready for the Thanksgiving feast! Beautiful!

My Dad sure makes me smile. He is such a great Grampy!

We walked around his orchards, ate anything that was ripe and enjoyed the warm weather.
Heaven on earth!

I am thankful for all of my family. I suppose I could have added the formal Thanksgiving picture my mom took of us sitting at the table with our best manners, but this is the picture I like the most. This was after dinner and even after dessert. Sitting around enjoying each other's company. I just had to sneak out the camera to capture the moment.

I am so thankful for family. We have so much fun together. They are such a blessing in my life.

I am rich with blessings!

Happy Halloween!

We have approached so many "firsts" with our little Cal. As he is getting older and more aware, each "first" has become more and more fun!

For the last SEVERAL years Halloween has been spent at my sister's house with her cute family. For the last couple of years she has organized a pot luck soup dinner with family and friends. Yum! What a perfect way to warm up before tackling the outdoor chill.

Cal was so funny in his costume. When I put it on him he would turn his head quickly from side to side. I'm sure he could feel the horns on his head...

Our cute little blue monster

Cal just stared at Johnny... he wasn't scared... but the look on his face said, "Johnny, what's up with the make-up?"

Monster vs. the Skeleton Man

I was a Gypsy and Patrick was a BYU Fan (ha ha)

We walked around with the kids to trick or treat, but Cal and I only went up to one door. Poor little guy, he only got to suck the outside of the wrapper. He loved it just the same!

Next year buddy, just wait till next year!

Such a fun night and another check on Cal's list of "firsts"

Our very special day

Goodness... it has been a month since our very special day. It has been a hard for me to write this post. Not because it is secret or too precious to share, but because I've had a hard time formulating my feeling of that day into words. It was all I hoped and dreamed it would be.

Friday, October 16 is a day we will never forget.

We got up bright and early. I walked into Cal's room and instantly felt warmth and inner peace... but at the same time it felt busy with excitement. I turned on the light and walked over to Cal's crib. He was smiling, almost giggling as his eyes quickly glanced around the room. He could feel it too. I had a strong impression that this day would be spent with many loved ones on both sides of the veil. They were here to celebrate our very special day with us and it touched my heart deeply.

Patrick came in soon after with Cal’s bottle and began to feed him. I sure love my boys.

My heart took a picture.

At 8am, dressed up in our best clothes, we got in the car and headed to the court house.

We arrived just after 8:15am and made our way up to the 4th floor. Calan fell asleep and was resting peacefully in his car-seat. This would be a very long day for our little man and we were thankful for every moment of sleep he could get.

Our case worker and lawyer were there and we began going over paper work and such. But then our family began to arrive. It was like Christmas morning! Each time the elevator doors opened another wave of love ones joined us. Soon the room was full and the excitement was electric! Cal woke up and was all smiles. Our day was finally here!

We were called into the court room. Our family was seated behind us and Patrick, Cal and I sat at the defendants table with our case worker and lawyer.

The judge entered the room and we were asked to rise. Patrick and I were asked to raise our right hand and swear to tell the truth. I could already feel tears swelling up in my eyes, but did my best to keep control.

Cal was sitting on Patrick’s lap and was looking all around. I know it sounds crazy, but I felt like he knew what was going on and his little grin let us know he was as excited as we were.

Our case worker took the stand and was questioned by our lawyer… such as, did we meet all the requirements by the state… did the agency find it in Calan’s best interest for us to be his parents. Each time she answered yes.

Next it was our turn. We were allowed to stay seated where we were. I was questioned first. He asked me about 15 questions. They started simple… stating my name, birthday, our wedding date, Cal’s birthday, etc. But then it got difficult to answer because of the emotion I was feeling. “Do you understand that by adopting this child you are making a legally binding promise to provide all the rights and privileges that your own children would enjoy, as if the child had been born to you?” “Yes.” I answered through my tears. At that moment I looked down at Cal sitting on Patrick’s lap and he was staring at me with the biggest, sweetest smile on his face.

The final question was, “Could you please share with the court your feelings regarding this adoption?” It was difficult to speak, but I expressed our love towards our little boy and our birth-mother. She gave us the greatest gift. It is the greatest sacrifice a person can give.

Patrick was asked the same questions and his answers were so tender. When asked to share his feelings about adoption he said that he could not wait to teach Cal to ride a bike, and to fly a kite. He also expressed our love to our birth-mother. It was an emotional, incredible experience.

The judge said a few words, pounded his gavel, and that was it. Calan David was absolutely, positively and legally ours. Family ran up to give hugs. The judge even took the time for us to take pictures with him.

Calan was now legally ours, but our wonderful day would only get better.

We finished up at the court house, I fed our little guy and we headed up to Timpanogos Temple. We had some extra time so we drove slow as Cal slept. It gave us a chance to soak in the joy of what had just happened and what we were about to do. It was just the 3 of us, and it was very sweet.

It was time. We gathered our things and as a family we entered the Temple. We were there to be sealed together as a family, forever.

It is only on special occasions, such as this, that children are allowed in the Temple. We were led to the child care area. They would get Cal ready and take care of him until it was time.

In the Temple we dress in white. Patrick and I changed into our white clothes. We were led into the sealing room, where family and friends where waiting for us. It was the same room that we were married in, and so beautiful. Soon Cal was brought in to us. He too was dressed in white. He looks absolutely angelic. The Spirit was so strong, I could not keep back the tears.

I am so thankful for the priesthood. I am thankful for Temples and the power that is there to be sealed together forever. It is hard to explain the feeling we had there, but it was a moment we will never forget. It was precious beyond words. Calan was ours forever.

We came home and still had one more amazing experience. Patrick was able to give Calan a baby blessing. He held Cal and was surrounded by our fathers, brothers and brother in laws- all

worthy Priesthood holders. Again, the Spirit was very strong, very sweet.

We are so thankful to family and friends who made the sacrifice to join us on our special day.

It was a perfect day.

It was a dream.

It will be a day we will cherish forever and never forget.

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http://www.googlereaderisourfriend.blogspot.com/

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Hope this helps!

Heaven on Earth

We have experienced a bit of heaven on Earth. Our court date was set on October 16 for our adoption finalization. We were thrilled! And what added to our joy was having so many of our family join us. With family members all over the country, it was a big sacrifice for them to come.

My parents arrived first... a week before our big day. It is always such a treat to have them visit. My dad needed to head up to my sister's house to help out with some things, so my mom and I played. We went shopping, out to eat and she even helped me redecorate my living room. It was so fun!

Patrick's parents arrived soon after. They drove all the way from Indiana- a 3 day journey- wow! They have not seen Cal since he was 2 months old and they could not believe how much he had grown. He loved hearing grandma sing and grandpa could always make Cal smile.

Patrick's parents brought an extra special gift... a high chair for Cal. But this was not any ordinary high chair, this was the same chair used by Patrick's dad as a baby and also used by Patrick and all of his siblings, and most of the nieces and nephews. It is beautiful and packed full of sentiment. We love it! It completes our dining room perfectly! Cal looks so big as he sits in it.

Knowing they were bringing the chair we decided to give it a formal debut and save Cal's first solid foods for it. We started with rice cereal. (I just realized that I took all of those pictures with Patrick's parents camera- oops!) He spit more of it out than he swallowed, but it was a great first try! We gave him a graham cracker for dessert and he LOVED it!

That night my brother, David and his family arrived (Marla, Emma, Grace, Davey and Baby Evan). They flew in from Ohio and we sure wish they lived closer! Cal loved meeting them!


Little Evan is almost 2 months younger than Cal. He is equally squishy- we love those chubby babies- so dang cute!

We had a night of pumpkin carving. These kids are so creative! We had a great time. With so many pumpkins we had lots of yummy seeds to roast- delicious!

So cute! They did a great job! After carving pumpkins we belted out some karaoke which is a speciality of my brother's family! They ROCK the microphone!My sister, Mindy and her family arrived on Wednesday from California. Now my entire family was here. Like I said, it was heaven on Earth! Cal LOVED all the attention!

All of the nieces (on my side of the family) playing with Aunt Erin's camera :) Such cute girls and there are lots of giggles and fun when they are together!
Hangin' outside enjoying the last of the warm weather. It was a perfect week! My sister, Lynell and her family traveled from Syracuse (an hour north of us) to spend time with us.

Every room was filled with loved ones!

We are so thankful for the sacrifice family members made to share our special day with us. How blessed we are to have such a great family. We love, love, love you!!

(Our special day will be my next post:)

6 Months Old!!

I can't believe our little boy is 6 months old today!

What an amazing 6 months it has been!

Our little one is growing up so fast. In just the last week he has several new tricks-

We love it!

The other day I was sneaking Cal something sweet (shhh, don't tell) and he was sucking on my finger when suddenly I felt something. Could it be?? I checked again. Sure enough his first tooth was growing in. We had NO idea! I thought babies were grouchy or fussy when they cut their first teeth, but Cal gave us no warning. With his little tongue constantly hanging out we never saw it. I wanted to get a picture of it, but it turned out to be more of a challenge than I expected!

As a side note, no babies or daddies were injured in the attempt of getting this shot!:)

OK buddy, open wide...

Let's try that again...

Hey, I think we got it!

Let's zoom in a bit.

There it is... Mr. Tooth in all his glory!

It wasn't until I zoomed in that I could see his other tooth coming in next to it. We can't even feel that one yet. Our little boy is growing up so fast!

We love you so much little buddy! It has been an amazing 6 months!

We honestly can't remember life without you!

My Sister, My Friend

(This post is incredibly over due!!)

When I was 18 years old, I packed my bags and moved up to Provo, Utah to attend Brigham Young University. Being a lone Freshman at a school with over 25,000 students... I felt lost and very small. My oldest sister, Lynell, also lived in Provo with her husband and (at that time) two little boys.

They were my home away from home. I don't know what I would have done that first year without my big sis. She walked me around the HUGE campus before classes started so I would know where to go. She arranged a job for me at the Brick Oven Restaurant with the amazing connections she had. She even helped me with assignments that seemed a bit overwhelming.

To tell you the truth, she was my second mom and I depended on her so much.

Many years have gone by, and even though I'm not that scared little freshman anymore, I look up to my sister more than ever. With the majority of my family in another State, I depended on Lynell and her family during 15 years of my single life here in Utah. She allowed me the honor of taking her kids trick or treating every year, treating me like I was one of the gang. With them I was one of the gang.

On Holidays, such as Easter, when I couldn't fly home I was equally at home with them. I have enjoyed COUNTLESS delicious meals at her table. When I needed to get away for a weekend I would pack my bags and head to their house. Most of the time I would call her on my way up and let her know I was coming to stay with them. She was always excited and what was equally fun was the warm reception I got from her cute kids. I never knocked, I would open the door and announce my arrival in anticipation of little hugs. I always felt so loved.

Her family has had their fair share of good times and bad. Lynell faces each challenge with a determination to get through it triumphantly. When my nephew, Justin, got burned when he was just 2 years old it was more than I could take. To watch him suffer the way he did and then the several surgeries that followed... she became his nurse and did all the tough things that ensured a successful recovery. She was so brave.

We are well into our adult lives, but she will always be my big sister. I trust her opinion. I value her advice. I cannot remember one time in our life when we have had a cross moment with each other. Not one.

This year for my birthday (July 18) Patrick was out of town on business. So of course I pack up my bags and Cal and I headed up to Lynell's for almost a week. As always, it was home away from home.

Lynell made this yummy French treat for my birthday breakfast. I can't remember the name- but it was delish!!

Lynell had 2 gift certificates to a day spa. Neither one of us had done anything like this before- and let me tell you... it was awesome!! We changed into these comfy robes and sandals and got facials. Wow. AMAZING!! When we were done we were told to sip on our lemon water and stay and relax as long as we wanted. HEAVEN. Seriously, it was heaven!

While we were gone, Lynell's kids watched little Cal. I had to snap this photo, am I'm so glad I did. It is easily one of my favorite pictures of Cal with his cousin, Johnny. As Lynell and I got home I ran into the house to check on my little guy. All the boys were there, shirts off (including Cal) playing in the family room. Cal looked up at me from where he was sitting with his cousin with the expression on his face saying, "hey mom... what's up? I'm just chillin' with the big boys." So cute! Cal sure loves his cousins!

After our facials we headed to Lynell's friend's house. She has a spray tan machine. I have not been out in the sun very much this summer, so this was a fun way to get that summer glow.
My favorite dinner is a meaty steak sandwich with some thick wedge potato fries. YUM! It was so good and a great ending to a great day!

Lynell, thank you for always being such an example to me... as a sister, a mother, and a friend.

I love you so much!

Little Lessons You Teach Me...

Dear Calan,

You are now 5 months old and you seem to have a new trick everyday. We love watching you explore the world around you.

Your latest trick is rolling over, from back to front. But the interesting thing is that we have never been able to catch you doing it. We find the outcome of your labor when we go into your room and find you on your belly.

You move all over your little crib at night and once in a while you get stuck in the corner in a crazy position. Sometimes I think this scares you and wakes you up from your slumber. You cry out in the night and we come to "rescue" you, put you once again on your back and kiss you on the forehead. You quickly fall back asleep.

This has happened several night in a row now.

Last night, at 3am and only half awake I walked into your room and placed you in the middle of your crib. As with most little lessons you teach me, a thought rushed across my mind.

There are situation that I get into that I cannot get out of by myself. Sometimes I struggle too long on my own trying to make it right instead of crying out to my Savior for help.

Why do I hesitate? Why don't I go to Him first thing?

Why do I wrestle with the same problem over and over only to allow it to bring me stress and heartache.

My Savior can remove that burden. I need to allow Him to help me move to a "new position".

Thank you my son, for being an example to me.

Learning to Say Thank You

I feel like overall I am polite person. At least I try to be.

I say thank you... I say please... I say excuse me.
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But I am ashamed to say that several times I have been in the airport, seen servicemen dressed in their camo and instead of thanking them for their service I have just walked by.

I don't know why. I felt silly and thought they would think I was weird.

I don't feel that way anymore.
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On August 13, 2009 my 18 year old nephew, Justin, packed his bag and left to join the Army.

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It was quite an emotional goodbye for the entire family. Justin is such a good kid... smart, funny, kind, polite... and now he would be gone 6 months for Basic Training and then on to Medical training.

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He will be terribly missed!

When Justin was a little boy he was my special buddy. He was the cutest kid and I always felt a close connection to him. He was always a friend to the underdog... actually he was always a friend to everyone.

I couldn't help but cry as Justin buckled up Cal for the last time for a while. He will grow so much before Justin returns, but we will write often and send lots of pictures. We love you so much, Justin and we are so incredibly proud of you. We miss you already and can't wait till you are home again.

I promise the next time I see a soldier I will feel proud to thank them for their sacrifice to protect our freedom.

They deserve to be thanked.