for lyrics that come suddenly and smack me upside the head

thrice: for miles

i know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at the dawn 

and all our pain will fade away when morning comes

and on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed

and all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way

and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart

and there's no greater love than that one shed his blood for his friends

on that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right

all of our tears and all of our fears will take to flight

but until then all our scars will still remain but we've learned that if we'll 

open the wounds and shared them then soon they start to heal

as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart

and there's no greater love than that one shed his blood for his friends

we must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live 

we must open up these wounds

when someone stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood

there's no greater love. we must open up our wounds.

anne shirley found her gilbert blythe

This last week I went out to Utah for Kjirst's wedding.. I was there! It was beautiful! 

I still have moments of.. 

Kj-is-married. 

Kj-is-a-wife. 

Kj-is-married..

I just need a reminder.

Honestly- words cannot express my joy.  

Here are some pictures of the madness. There are so many more, but I'm impatient. 

On Wednesday, when the Barker's flew in, we went out and did bridals. Unknown to me, we arrived and the camera was shoved into MY hands.. 

Thank goodness Kj know's what she wants from brides, 

so I just pointed and shot her. 

haaaaa

This one's called: 

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.."

Anne of Green Gables

Many moons ago when I first met Kj, her red hair and snarky personality reminded me of one, Anne Shirley. I told her so, and she said;

If I'm Anne Shirley, then you have to be my Diana. 

We have been the truest of kindred spirits since our meeting. 

(although she always wanted to be diana and i wanted to be anne..) 

(i love love love this picture of kjirst and alan!) 

 THE RECEPTION!

 The Reception was the evening before the wedding at the old pioneer house where we held our Flapjack Friday's. Not surprising, Kj's artist eye was in full swing and it was a swingin' shindig. 

It was perfectly Kjirst. 

 Starting from top left to right:

Me & Alison: I met her while working @ Dr. Mayberry's. We bonded over Bones and Psych. 

Me & Katelyn: Kj's best friend from High School. After a couple days we all got along so well that I forgot that I had just met her that week. 

Me & Soren: Kj's brother and my best friend. There are really no words. We're just dorks. (thank you?) 

Par & Jackie: Jack's my best (largest) friend from high school-and they met at flapjack friday..

 (no one else had that kind of luck.) 

 note: top right! they're TWINS!! 

bottom left: Kj & Sor did a brother/sister dance

bottom right; please note trev (the kid in the back) that's priceless

 (note the total utter joy.. i see it and my heart is full..) 

Ivan, Jeff (Kj's uncle), Evan (matchmaker-matchmaker...), Victor (Ivan's dad). 

Wedding Day: 

 Bridesmaids (to left of Kjirst) 

Kendra, Tistine, Katelyn, Becky, me, Liza, Nelssie

Please note, mostly because I think it's hilarious, that 3 out of the 7 didn't REALIZE they were bridesmaids until the week of the wedding.

 (Christine think's she's so funny..)

 Honest-to-goodness.. I cannot express enough how much I adore this family. If I could finagle it, I'd be in Maine for Christmas. I'm just sayin'. 

 I realized after the fact that the pictures I posted on facebook didn't include all that many of Ivan.. (Ivan! I am so sorry!) 

There is a story to this: 

One of the first times I stayed at the Barkers, Soren was showing me how to sword fight and in a moment of spasmodic movement and semi sharp sword, he got me.. there was bloodshed. I have a scar around my collarbone and when people ask, I tell this tale. Now, whether or not people believe me is really up to them.. But we figured a proper illustration should be had. Besides he threatened me all week that he was going to get me with a knife. Now there's proof. 

(Okay, Sor.. I think you made your point.. please remove the butter knife from my throat.. and that gleeful look off your face..) 

TISTINE!! 

She brings joy to my heart... 

After the luncheon, we went around Temple Square, especially since Katelyn had never been. 

(i stole kj's camera... someday i will have one too... *sigh*) 

 I love to see the temple... I'll go inside someday... 

The weekend ended with a sugar-induced girls night watching She's the Man. (it's so quotable) 

It was an AWESOME week! 

Lot's of late nights talking to Christine. 

Catching up with friends.. 

Running around like a crazy person. 

(any other information will have to be divulged in actual conversation.. cause i'm too much of a sap at the moment to fully express the joy of this event.) 

--a short interlude--

 i could take this moment to post about kj's wedding. because it was absolutely fantastic. she was stunning, joyful, and the most beautiful bride i've ever seen. but now, due to the lateness of the evening, my mind drifts to another topic that has been on my mind for a few weeks now.. (and i don't have the patience at the moment to post a million pictures..) 

i'd just like to say that i have some really superior friends. the best of the best, i'd like to think. i have been reminded over the last few weeks and my gratitude for them is full. these are outstanding friendships that have been tested, put through fire and somehow we emerge through space and time.. good times and bad, to be completely solid. best friends that are my confidants, as dear as family and mean more to me than i can put into words. 

someone asked me once how i can have more than one best friend, because i do.. years ago i hated saying 'best' due to friendships that were lost and people who used to term too often to be legit. (in my opinion. but hey, it was high school. we were stupid.) how can you have more than one? i remember jackie and i searching and opting for another term. largest. which got some ridiculous looks, which of course we laughed about.

but "best" has taken on another role for me. i don't use it unless i really mean it.. it is not used idly. these friends each have a special place in my heart. sometimes they serve specific purposes in my existence and i don't know where i would be without them. they have helped shape the person i am and regularly save me from my own madness. 

and i love them for it. 

random thoughts passing through my head- riiiiight NOW!

-i like black jelly beans. i like that strong anise flavor that kind of burns my mouth..

-i like salt and vinegar substances for that same reason-and fire hot cheetos

-i love basil. if it has basil in it, i will order it. my heart does a little jig (if it's basil AND balsamic vinegar, i'm gone)

-i am a crazy plotter/schemer. my current plot involves how to get to that tcc show in port angeles at the end of the month

-i need to stop feeling like i need to see tcc every time they perform.

-i sometimes come up with fanfiction-of my existence.. and laugh and laugh

-i tell people that i quit my job and every time i start BUSTING up laughing

-if someone tells me they were born between 1990-1995, i laugh uncontrollably (you should test me. cause it's ridiculous)

-i am alarmed sometimes by people and how much they like me

-i'm equally surprised by people who don't understand a dry sense of humor and my hilarity

-it's curious when guys hold open the door for me. it seemed normal at byu-i (byu-lite), but seemed odd anyplace else. some lanky fluffy haired kid on the ferry the other day waited for me, holding the door. i was pleasantly surprised

-i came up to my church building tonight and saw people inside. i didn't feel like conversing.. under my breath i say.. oh, humans! and try to go to another door. it turned into a zim line (click it.. dooo it!) and i laugh and laugh

-everything as of late is:

alarming

stellar

a quest

-it was brought to my attention some time ago that i'm a sucker for dimples. i've become more aware of it as time has passed. although sometimes it makes me want to punch them in the face.

-note: i'm not really as violent as i seem to be

-tomorrow is crazy cookie day

plan to make:

joe's breakfast cookies

pb cookies

choco-chip cookies

(i make good cookies. not as good as my cousin, i've come to find.. but dang good)

-for some reason i want to run. run and run and run. my asthma and lungs hate me for it, but the need is there.. and it's not like anyones even chasing me

-i have a list down the side of my blog of people that visit my blog. it's listed as creepers. i look sometimes and i can finagle who is coming, but there are some that i'm SO CURIOUS about.. MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN!

i really should just take that off

-i have read 43 books so far this year. it should be more. *sigh*

-i am fascinated by:

myth/fairytale retellings. i'm determined to read every one and research them all.

in this quest i'd like to include:

irish myths, study on druids, king arthur, robin hood, original fairy tales, greek/roman mythology, nursery rhymes-etc

-this is very pre-mature, but i'm really excited for christmas. i've had a retail induced christmas for the last few years, it puts a downer.

fingers crossed on real job

c'est fini

oh right... i remember now...

i got my schedule for this week on sunday..

off monday

on call tuesday

on call wednesday

on call thursday

off friday

on saturday

slow week

very-slow.

this is why i'm calling it quits.

Sometimes I loved my job. I have to remind myself of these moments because sometimes they are too far between..

For example:

The hilarious ladies who were obsessed with Austen and had several different P&P retellings in their room. I suggested Austenland by Shannon Hale. I hope they find it, because it'll rock their world.

The funny couple that loved those detective books that got really animated when I asked them about it.. while making their bed.

Obviously a theme, but I love seeing what books people bring with them on vacation. I have random scraps of paper with titles.. somewhere.

This older couple who insisted that they didn't need anything, but had me come in anyway. Trouble with DVD player.

I came in and the man is in bed reading a book while I fiddled with the tv. They're telling me their plans on the island and how much they're enjoying their time.. what's this? DVD player working? The man wants to know how, and I turn around to show him and I find he's actually putting his pants on. oops.

I replace their cups, their beverages while chuckling to myself as the man insists that he never stays in bed this late. *it's 10 am...

His wife shrugs him off turning to me to ask, 'wouldn't you stay in bed late if you were on vacation??'

absolutely.

He comes to tell me about waking up with the sun that morning and showing me the pictures on his camera of the sunrise. It was indeed one of the most glorious things I have seen, and I guarantee that what I saw on their point-and-shoot camera was nothing in comparison to the real thing.

I am determined to come one morning to witness.

The next day my boss came looking for me, telling me that a woman was looking for me. Asking for me by name. I knew exactly who. She left me a little note to say thanks and 10 bucks. Sweetest thing. I loved them.

One of my favorite rooms, upon entering one day had all the blinds pulled up and the only thing you could see was.. sea. It's one of the few rooms with double doors, which is particularly why I favor it. It was overcast and drizzly.. a perfect gray. I left the blinds open as long as possible. It makes me want to read a book or bake something.

I've made some excellent friends there too. Which is interesting because I remember when I started thinking I had nothing in common with any of these girls, that they were all very very different from me. And that might be the case, but that gap has significantly lessoned over the last 5 months.

Jodi, Matt's wife, who has become a joy to see in the workplace. I admire her greatly for her ability to let things roll off her back. (Much like Christine.) I would like to have some of her understanding of the world around her. Sometimes I stop after work to talk to her and end up staying an hour (sometimes more) later just because I enjoy our conversation. She loves books. (this is where you say, ahhh.. of course she's great and amanda adores her)

Yesterday I was clocking out and Matt was in the freezer.

-Amanda I have something for you. (he pulls out a carton of concord grapes and hands them to me) These are the best grapes you will ever eat. They're only good for another week/week & a half.

I expressed my thanks and left, with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

And I have experienced some of the tastiest food I have ever consumed has come from this place. An experience I would never have had came when I went to have one of the special dinners at the inn's restaurant. For further details on that experience click HERE.

Not only that though, but sometimes Matt will cook for us. It's happened on a few occasions. Just chicken and potatoes but I sit there with a stupid grin on my face, trying to hold back my excitement. (if i don't it will bubble over... can't have that)

Not to mention the amounts of scones & breakfast cookies I have consumed.. Umm. delirious!! We get breakfast leftovers and holy smokes. I don't really care what anyone says, I will praise Joe and his scones forever. Not to mention today, I stayed a bit later talking to my friend/supervisor Kaitlyn and while we're passing through the kitchen, Jenny, one of the dinner people, stopped us.. You have got to try this cake Garrett made.

How do you say no to gourmet food? You don't. You admire the artistry.. (because nothing is done by accident) and you savor everything.

Once again stupid grin on my face.

Remind me again why I gave my two weeks?

i will not be thwarted.

stop trying.