because he lives

Because I lost track of time and didn't realize Easter is next Sunday . . . because my thoughts have been more on how many things on my calendar are keeping me busy this week . . . because when I did realize Easter was racing upon us, I began to think of what to cook, what to fill easter eggs and easter baskets with . . . because our bishop gave a wonderful talk yesterday going over how the Savior spent each day of His last week . . . I was grateful to be jolted back into reality of why this is the most important holiday we celebrate.  And then this most amazing video really brings it all home:



Wherever He walked, wherever He taught, wherever He healed, He changed everything.  Then everything changed.  The man they called Master, Messiah, friend, was gone.  But the greatest miracle was yet to come.  He is not here, He is risen.  He lives.  And because He lives, if you reach out, call out, cry out, He is here.  Then, now, always.  He is here, during the good, the bad, the in-between, He is here.  No matter who you are, or who you were, He is here.  No exceptions.  No lost causes.  At all times, in all places, He is here.  He rose on the third day.  He lives today.  Find him.

#becausehelives

helives.mormon.org

spring, day one

Last night, as the sun was going down, I walked around the yard to see what flowers were blooming.  The plum trees are the first to flower, as always, but I missed getting pictures of the pink blossoms.  However the white ones were still going strong.









I had great hopes of getting tons of spring bulbs planted last fall, but I only got the job halfway done.  I finally planted these white and orange narcissus back in January.  It was with a whole lot of faith that these got planted, because I didn't think they'd even come up.  And now, here they are.  This old wheelbarrow seems to be a permanent fixture in our orchard . . . all rusted out with a flat tire.  But it looks like its supposed to be there.





This is the one lone colorful daffodil that is blooming up on our patio.



The star magnolia is in all its glory right now.





These are my reliable and beautiful Mount Hood daffodils that I planted in the orchard 20 years ago.  But see how they look shredded?  I don't know what is doing that to them.  Is this happening to anybody else?  The daffodils that bloom at the end of our driveway are also shredded, and so are some of the others up on our patio.  It looks like the work of slugs, but it could also be birds.  I hate this!



And last, back in October I planted 90 daffodil bulbs around the patio,  On the package (Costco), it said it was a variety of lots of different sizes and colors, mostly whites, whites with orange centers, etc.  Now that they're all up, they are all yellow.  Every. Single. One. Is. Yellow.  Not only are they all yellow, they're all the same variety!  I feel so cheated.  I'm going to dig them up when they're done blooming and replant them somewhere else.  Then start from scratch again in the fall with the colors I really wanted there.



There you have it, the flower report from the first day of spring.  Seriously, if anyone else is having the same problem with shredded daffodils, let me know!

stir crazy

After two weeks of basically being homebound, I was getting cabin fever.  I needed to get out for more than picking up the mail or getting a gallon of milk. Well, scratch that . . . we did go to Seattle on Tuesday to see Keith's surgeon, and Wednesday night we went to pick up Toby at the airport.  By Saturday, I was really going rather crazy.  I had to run an errand in the afternoon, and what was supposedly predicted as going to be a very rainy day, turned into a beautiful breezy, bright and sunny day.  I had this idea that we should all take a drive up to Point No Point and fly a kite.  I mean, that's the prime kite flying place around here, right?  And Luke is always begging me to go fly kites, so he could do that and I could get my little outing.

By the time we actually were out the door and on the road, the winds had stopped, and the sunny skies had clouded over.  Oh well, at least we could go for a drive.

Also, Toby's been with us since he came home on Wednesday.  I thought he'd be headed back over to Seattle on Thursday morning, but he ended up staying till Sunday afternoon.  We arrived up there around dinnertime.  It was rather empty.







Okay, this explains why we didn't walk over to the lighthouse.



I don't know what this plant is called, but we used to have a really huge one of these growing wild in our field.  It accidentally got cut down, and I was so sad it was gone.  Aren't those magenta flowers beautiful?





I grabbed a few kites that we've taken to Maui before.  This particular one, we flew last year and I thought it was a dud.  It kept dive bombing and crashing and it was hard to fly.  But I guess the problem was the Maui winds were too powerful for it.  Last night's gentle breeze was all it needed to fly perfectly.  Toby had it up in an instant.























I just have to share this about Luke.  Toby would get the kite airborne, and hand it over to Luke, who happily flew it for about one minute before he handed it back.  After his second "minute" of flying time, he was done, ready to go home.  Seriously Luke?  We drove all the way up here, and you're done?  I made some comment about him and his "short attention span".  This was his reaction: "what do you mean, short attention span?"  Very offended, as you can see.  Then I asked him if he knew what a short attention span meant.  Luke: "no . . . . "









I'm just so grateful for moments like this.  The sun and wind were gone, but look at that brooding sky.  Its beautiful in its own right.  Look at my sons.  I treasure these pictures, these memories.  I was feeling all sentimental about time spent with Toby lately.  He's going to be married in a few months.  This time and these days spent with him are the best.  I went through these same feelings before Calley and Tyler got married too.  Of course we love their spouses like our own children!  But those last days of "us and them" are special to me. (Tyson, Kelsey, and Stefanie, don't take this the wrong way at all!  Its just me being all sappy.)

(**Keith came with us on this drive, but he ended up going back to sit and wait in the car.  Don't judge---he's still healing from major surgery).

Life is supposed to resume to a more normal routine this week.  Keith is going back to work, Luke is going back to work at the food bank, and I should be able to take control of the house again . . . you know what I mean, my cleaning routine, meals, etc.  After two weeks of being homebound, and spending a lot of time watching tv and even getting a nap occasionally, I can honestly say we're both exhausted.  Why is that??  Keith has a legitimate reason, but what's my problem?  I think we've been running on adrenaline for so long, or forever, that its finally hit us.  We're all ready to get back to life again around here.

the cutest little cinderella yet

Oh my goodness . . . I just had to share.  I saw this post today about a shy little girl and her amazing seamstress mom who makes the most fantastic costumes for her to wear to Walt Disney World.  I am literally dying over this floor-scrubbing Cinderella costume.



You have to see her in action (scrubbing the castle) with the Tremaines.  Adorable!



This makes me want to take my dead sewing machine in to be fixed, and start getting creative.

***so, one last thank you (again and again).  The sympathy cards keep pouring in for Keith's mom.  I quit counting when the number went over 60.  Probably closer to 70.  I owe people so many emails.  If I haven't answered, I'll try to fit it in.  I've only taken time to do my blog posts when Keith was resting.  I'll get working on those emails.  And thank you notes. Thanks to everyone for the treats, to Keith's office for the pie and fruit basket, to Tiffani and Rebecca for your wonderful dinners, all those flowers we received, and all the well wishes from everyone.  Thank you so much from all of us!

tyler + kelsey

Before I get to my post, some news.  Keith went in to see his surgeon to get the biopsy report yesterday.  In layman's terms I guess, the intensity or aggressiveness of the cancer went up, but all was encapsulated and removed and he is cancer free.  He goes back fairly frequently throughout the year to keep having things checked and to make sure nothing pops up and surprises us.  But cancer-free.  We're breathing big sighs of relief over here.

Every day is a gift.  Every single day.

Back to Tyler and Kelsey.  After the funeral, when all the other relatives had left, we snuck off for about an hour and took some pictures of these two.  They wanted some updates.  We went to where we took Toby and Stefanie's pictures, and they hoped they didn't seem like they were copying them.  No, of course not.  These are only a small number, there were so many to choose from.  I think Kelsey needs to give posing lessons to the rest of us.  She's a real natural.  Not one bad picture to her name.



I liked this because their seventh anniversary is coming up soon.  You do see the "No. 7", right?











And of course, I had to stop and say "oh, a flower!"







And "oh, tiny pinecones!"







I sure love these guys.

the other thing that's been keeping us busy . . .

This story begins in October.  Keith went in for his physical, and found his PSA level had doubled from the year before.  That's a big red flag for prostate cancer.  Of course we were both very extremely worried, and thus began a long journey.  A referral to a specialist.  An appointment.  An exam.  Wait three weeks, have another blood test to see if the PSA levels have changed.  Wait.  Blood test.  Wait.  Results.  PSA went up higher.  Schedule a biopsy.  Wait.  See the doctor for the results.  Cancer.  By now its mid-December.  Questions.  Who is the best for surgery?  Make an appointment with the surgeon.  Wait.  See the surgeon.  So many questions.  Schedule the surgery.  Wait.  Another blood test.  PSA goes up even higher.  Trying not to worry.  Wait.

So, during this time, we only told our children, their spouses, and only two very trusted friends about this.  Everyone was sworn to secrecy.  All this stress, all this worry, we were keeping this all quietly private.  And all this time, we were dealing with more stress upon stress upon stress.  It was at this same time that Keith's mother's health took a deep decline, with daily, hourly, constant, constant worries and updates.  It was at this same time that we were dealing with Luke's guardianship accounting with the court system.  Plus at least a million other high stress important things, and we were keeping this cancer worry to ourselves.

By the way, cancer was not one of the words that came up in planning for our future.

Well, if there was any good news in this, they said it was a slow growing cancer, so waiting until March 2 for the surgery was acceptable.  More on that in another post.  Keith's surgeon . . . he is the best.  He is theeee guy who trains the other guys how to do the robotic surgery.  People come from all over the country just to see him.  We were so blessed to have him doing this.

Just to give you a glimpse into our last several weeks, its been all about Keith's mom.  Our lives were put aside, and she was getting our full attention.  She had been declining for a long time, but this time we knew that the end was going to come sometime soon.  The week of Feb. 9-13, was the worst.  It was a matter of days and hours left.  Every time the phone rang we'd all have heart attacks.  Then on Friday the 13th, if you remember, as I came to sit with her at her bedside, she passed away the moment I walked in.  After that, it was 100% of our time in taking care of the funeral plans.  We learned that is a lot of work and coordination with a ton of other people involved.  I think only Keith knows that it took two full weeks to get all those details in order----and I've been organizing and planning events for years, so it wasn't like I went into that like a rookie.  I was grateful for all my past experience in getting us through that event.

This was our schedule last weekend:  Saturday---funeral.  Sunday---leave church early to go home and begin surgery prep.  Monday---alarm goes off at 3:15 am, on the road at 4:15 am, arrive at the hospital at 5:30 am and check into surgery.

Here's where we begin our story in pictures, with Keith in pre-op.  That paper in his hand?  That didn't leave my side the entire time we were apart from him.  That was his code number, and while we waited, they had several screens, much like you see for flights at the airport.  It told us exactly where he was, and what was being done, to the very minute.



This was my view all morning . . . of these daffodils swaying in the breezy March wind.  I was so grateful when Toby arrived to hang out with us.  He stayed all morning till mid-afternoon.  Good son.  I needed the company.  Keith needed the support.



Toby and I loved watching Luke's intense expressions while watching Guardians of the Galaxy.  Cheap entertainment for us.  Actually, the best entertainment.  Luke's face shows every emotion.  Good times.



The surgery went a lot longer than they said it would.  Talk about letting your imagination run wild.  But all turned out well.  After a few more hours, we finally got to see Keith in his room.  No roommate!





Room service.



Red jello never tasted better.





I soaked in this 11th floor view for hours . . . of Seattle University (Tyson's law school alma mater) . . .



 . . . and over to downtown Bellevue.  I loved seeing pops of pink here and there.  The flowering plums are in bloom now.



Luke was busy for hours with his sticker books.  Thank goodness.



Calley, Tyson, and the girls came to see Keith just before dinnertime.  They were a great support too.  Family is necessary. Vital. Keith was still in quite the loopy mode.  We blame the drugs.









This is for Toby . . . Claire with the closed-eyes look.



Yes, I know this is about Keith, and here I stick in all these granddaughter pictures. You know me, I can't help myself.



Is it just me, or did Summer suddenly grow up overnight?







On the ferry home on Monday night.  Cold and windy.  Me on the roads in my sleep-deprived state would not have been a good thing.



He did pretty good the first day in the hospital.  The following day he was supposed to come home. They finally released him in the afternoon.  By then the drugs were wearing off.  That surgery is brutal. They say robotic surgery is less invasive . . . and it is . . . but its still major surgery.  Poor guy!  Toby was home that night, and I was so grateful.  Keith was in so much pain, so Toby gave him a blessing.  He started feeling better within minutes.  But still, its hospital central here and we are hunkered down at home for the next two weeks.  I'm the round-the-clock nurse.  Keith is planted on the family room sofa with as many comforts as we can give him within arm's reach.  He had a rocky start, but is doing better each day.  On Tuesday we go back over to Seattle and meet with the surgeon to get the biopsy results.  We hope the cancer has not spread.  The doctor said that the lymph nodes looked normal, so that was good news.  But still, we worry.

Luke has really stepped up to the plate in helping us.  At first, Calley had offered to take him for a few days, but I felt like I really needed a 6'2" guy with me as I went to my car way down in the depths of the underground parking lot at the hospital.  Like my personal body guard.  On Wednesday morning, I had to take Toby over to the airport, and left Luke in charge of helping Keith while I was gone for 2 1/2 hours.  He did amazing.  He's been a lifesaver.

That's how things have been going so far.  I've had time to prepare and stock our fridge and freezer full of food for us in advance.  We're hanging in there.