Hey Friends! Please Help a Sister Out!

Update time!

So at the end of December I landed this job managing social media websites for different companies. I LOVED the job, the pay was great, and the people I worked with were awesome. I felt relieved and on top of the world. I was hired, though, with certain knowledge. 40 hours a week, only having to go into the office Tuesdays and Wednesdays (the days Chris doesn't need the car for one of his own jobs), then Monday, Thursday, and Friday I would work from home. Well, about a month into it I was told everything was changing. I had to go into the office Monday through Friday and work 60 hours a week. Oh and.. this office is in Scottsdale. Approximately one hour and twenty minutes ONE-WAY. So I was frustrated about this completely unexpected change. I told them that my circumstances hadn't changed from when I first got the job, my husband and I still share a car and he still has two jobs, so I could not meet the new requirements. There was nothing they could do, and within the course of two days I went from having a great job I loved that was perfect, to things changing, to being let go. Needless to say, I felt a little lost.

"God, what am I supposed to do now? I thought that job was a gift from You and now it's gone. What now?"
I didn't desperately need the job in regards to our bills and getting food on the table and gas in the car, Chris' jobs (Thank God) pretty much take care of those. But we'd like to be able to save SOME money for the future, and get his student loans paid, and possibly allow me to go to school. So another income from me would have made things so much "easier". Not only that, but I ENJOYED the work. I have had nine jobs in the past (almost) four years. I have genuinely liked TWO of them (including this last one that I lost). The rest of them were smoothie shops, dog grooming stores, bookstores, telemarketing companies, retail, etc., and those all gave me a pit of frustration in my stomach. The feeling of wasting my time. This new job, it made me feel like I could actually get paid to do something I enjoyed, without a degree. It was a weight off my shoulders, it all fit so perfectly to my circumstances.

So coming to this point of, "Okay, God, what next?", I had a lot of soul searching and a few emotional talks with my husband Chris. Who listened intently and comforted me, bless his heart. I was a wreck.. for a while. Going through that typical 19-year-old "Who am I supposed to be" phase. Without wanting to in the slightest and without knowing how I'd get there, I applied to quite a few places. But during this time, I'd had several people ask me to teach them piano, and several people ask me if I could make them a scrapbook. So I guess I've just been thinking, maybe I could do that? Sell scrapbooks and other homemade things, and teach piano lessons. Then we wouldn't have to go through the trouble of "Okay, here's my schedule, here's your schedule, who gets the car, who's dropping who off, what time do you get off that day, okay you take the car and I'll try to find a ride", and I could just use what I make for our savings.

Some of you agree with this method, and some of you don't. But a friend once told me, "Why does it matter what others think of your life? Just worry about doing what it pleasing to God". Or as Willow Smith has taught me, "Pay no attention to those haters because we whip them off".

However, to make this scrapbooking/homemade/piano lesson thing work, I REALLY need your guys' help. (Oh and, I'd rather do the scrapbooking thing than piano lesson thing because to be honest, I'm not that great at reading sheet music, I just know chords and some little diddys. But that's a start for beginners! But if someone wants to learn piano chords I would love to teach them). But scrapbooking, I absolutely love doing and I think I'm pretty decent at it, and I can get them done very quickly. So, dear friends, if you could PLEASE just pass it on (the fact that I'm selling scrapbooks/homemade things/piano lessons).

Scrapbooks - $2/page + $15 for the album, average page count is about ten to fill an album.
Piano lessons (Every day anytime except Wednesday and Sunday) - $10/half an hour, once a week.

As far as homemade things, just request something you'd like made for you (crafts or food) and I can let you know:
1) If I can make it
2) The cost
3) When it will be ready


I'll take any advice or input you guys have to give.
But if you guys hear anyone talking about wanting a scrapbook or piano lessons, etc., please direct them to me via FB or text (480.382.1491). I would really really appreciate it beyond words!



--------Side Note
Here are some cute things I've made lately:


Headband














Owl Taggie Teether for little Babes


















Pin Cushion on top of my Scrapbook Flower Jar

Awesome.

Today, Chris and I went to see Tangled. It was incredible. I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES! And I decided, I am never going to grow up. So take it.

Backstreet Boys and the Question of Selfish Ambition

Do you ever wish you could just turn off your brain? I feel like lately, mine never takes a break!

To all you theologians out there (aka everyone - since everyone has some kind of theory about God, or perhaps the lack of one), how do you discover His path?

I know that you can serve Him anywhere you go because He is moving everywhere, you just "simply" have to join in. But I feel like there's something more specific to it, or at least there can be..

Are we on earth to do whatever we want, goal-wise (school, career, finances, where we live, etc), while trying to 1. Love God. 2. Love others, and that's "enough"? Or is the picture bigger than that? Do you believe that we are, as Christians (someone who has decided to entrust his or her life to Jesus Christ), supposed to give absolutely everything to Him? Praying without ceasing about where we are supposed to go, what we are supposed to do with our finances, and essentially, who we are supposed to be as a person in this world.

Before sitting down and saying to ourselves, "I think I want to go here now", whether it's just to the local Olive Garden or a move to another city, state, country, are we to first seek if it's what God wants? What does that look like? I firmly believe it happens to some people, but I have not heard the actual voice of God telling me which path to take. Doesn't make me doubt that He's listening or cares about my decisions, but man, wouldn't that be so much "easier"?

But since He doesn't typically answer in a black and white, audible voice, is it bad for us to decide for ourselves where we will go and attempt to join what God is doing there? Or maybe we have no plans to serve Him there, it's just a matter of us wanting to live it up.

I guess bottom line of my question is, is it considered "selfish ambition" to make our own plans for life (things we're saving up for, or splurging on) and to act on those plans, just because we want to do it?

Or do we sit, pray, attempt to find out through Scripture-reading and having an open dialogue with God, what to do with every single thing in our lives BEFORE making any decisions about them?

Does any of it even matter, as long as you love Him?

Great. Now I have "As Long as You Love Me" by the Backstreet Boys stuck in my head.

Sedona/Flagstaff

Just some pictures from our trip to Sedona and Flagstaff. Amazing things: the church built into one of the mountains, the sign in the flower garden in front of the church, and.. my husband. :) Was a great weekend.

Choice

Do you ever just feel... stuck? When life gets into a routine that you don't feel like you fit quite right into, but you can't think of any way out, and you can't quite think of a way to quench, well, whatever it is you're wanting?

I've been feeling that way lately. Christmas came and went, sadly. Though time with family and friends is great, I feel like Chris and I missed the meaning this year. We were so busy, everything happened very quickly, there wasn't much time to breathe or to stop and embrace the day devoted to God's great redemptive story. Ironically, Christmastime is when I began feeling stuck. To those of you who believe in Jesus and know Him (I'm assuming you know Him if you believe in Him.. because if you were to believe in Jesus to be the Almighty One, Creator of heaven and earth, the One who holds you in the palm of His powerful, awesome hand.. I'd think you would want to know Him), His story is one that is supposed to bring us joy.

I tend to, unfortunately, have a problem with thankfulness. I often forget to look around at my life and the immense blessings I have. OFTEN. This is what happened this Christmas season. I got so wrapped up in, "These people got to leave on vacation, why don't we get to leave on vacation?" and "This person got to do this, this, and this, man that's not fair", etc. So lame of me... to be quite honest. Here I am on a beautiful planet, with an incredible husband, a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes on my back, even friends and family.. and I was stuck thinking about what other people had that I didn't have.

Along with that, a feeling of "jadedness". Probably not a real word, but you understand. At ONE (my church), a feeling of loan-wolfness (again, not a word. Even as I type this, it's underlined in red to let me know I'm making some sort of mistake). I didn't feel like talking with anyone or being social. I just wanted to worship God, attempt to have a special moment with Him, hear some inspiring words, and get home to spend some time with Chris before he'd leave to go to work at Apple. Not just that, but I'm a pretty shy person. I can't stand small talk, I feel so awkward. I love talking to people, honest. But about serious, "me too" kinds of things. Not the weather, or where I went/what I did for Christmas/New Years. I don't know if that's bad, or wrong, I just know I'm not into it. Obviously, when asked about weather or what was done for Christmas/New Years, I civilly respond and continue the conversation... but I'd rather not. I'd rather go out for coffee and talk about our real struggles and hardships and ups and downs. But that doesn't happen too often.

I think as Christians (especially American Christians who - let's face it - have it pretty easy, even with our "screwed up" lives) we come to these points where we are just jaded. Every Sunday can start to blend together (particularly those who serve with kids, set-up, tear-down, hosting, etc) and can get to a point where you just don't want to go. Some people in your church can be rude, show their human sides, and you may not like it. You look around and everyone can seem robotic, even yourself. "I'm here at church, acting like everything is fine, because I'm supposed to be peaceful and gracious and humble and...". But that's rarely so. BECAUSE we are human.

What I'm struggling with is the idea of the church. The lyrics, "But if we are the Body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the Body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way there is a way?" come to mind. The church we're involved in today, not so much our specific church we gather with every Sunday, but the Church as a whole, is it the Church that Jesus wants? Are we acting as the church that we're supposed to? I can honestly say that I don't swing anywhere NEAR the standards. You know why? Because I don't make it my number 1 priority like I know I should and like I know I want to. If I (and all of us) were to make it my absolutely number one priority to be the hands and feet, my world would look a lot more beautiful, my life would be a lot more adventurous, and my heart would be a lot more joyful.

So I've felt stuck, because of all these things. Because of certain life situations. Because of family and friends who need help and I'm not sure how to help them.

God is so beautiful. Our relationship, as all do, ebbs and flows. It expands and it retracts. I'm done with this retracting phase, and I need it to expand again. For a short period of time I attended a church in Mesa, East Valley Bible Church. One Sunday, the Pastor said something I'll never forget. "The best way out of a funk... is to look around". It is a vast understatement to say that so many people in our world, in our country, in our state, in our city, need our help. Some will not ask for it. Some, when inquired upon, deny having any current struggles at all. But I want to meet these needs. At the end of the day, what do I want more? A vacation and new clothes? Or a beautiful, adventurous, joyful life filled with God's humbling Spirit and His people that He loves so dearly?

I choose the latter.
But it's a choice that has to be made daily. And it can be a hard one. Fulfilling? Absolutely.

Smile!

Life is too good. Luke 6:38 is a beautiful promise, and we live in a world made by a beautiful Creator. Don't stress this time of the year over money and gifts and stuff. Give what you can, giving meaningfully and sacrificially to people who could REALLY use some cheer, and take comfort in God's promise. He will take care of you and provide for you if you use His money for His Kingdom.
I know it's difficult sometimes because you want to show people you care, and there's a sense of obligation to get gifts for people who happen to get gifts for you. But let those people know you love them! They will appreciate that, too! Give them a phone call, set a lunch date to connect with them, or even send them a card and letter in the mail expressing your thankfulness for that person.
I'm not only telling this to others, but reminding myself of it. This incredibly special holiday isn't just about stuff and presents and obligation. It's about love. It's about being together in beautiful, Godly community, being thankful for this incredible life we have. Presents or no presents, Christmas is Christmas. Even if you don't believe in Jesus or God or any faith, be with your family this Christmas. Be thankful for what you have and who you have. Give to those who need it. And love. Above all, love with an agape love.


Side note:
Something I noticed, when you're baby hungry.... you see babies EVERYWHERE! Taunting you! Oh well. Haha!


Well, love, give, be thankful, accept that you're rich (compared to most in the world), and pass those resources on to those who have none.


Merry CHRISTMAS!

Ani-Anika and Anaya Papaya

I adore these girls.