Punctuation Can Be the Dog's Bollocks

We all know that punctuation is pretty damn important. It helps us organise ideas in our language when writing, express ideas with delivery that would otherwise be lost (such as shouting or asking a question), create lists, show possession and make contractions, to name a few.

Punctuation can dramatically change sentences, and is incredibly important in many cases. Don't believe me? Consider reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss.

In the past, we've looked at many of the different types of punctuation that we can use. Today, I'd like to look at a lesser-known type of punctuation (mainly because I like languages and can be very immature), which has fallen out of use but should definitely make a comeback.

If you're familiar with British English slang, "the dog's bollocks" means "the best". However, in this case I'm talking about a type of punctuation with the same name.

So, what did dog's bollocks look like? Either ":-" or ":—". Clearly, given the name, I'm not the only one in the world who thinks this sort of looks like something else. I don't think the "dog" part is really necessary though.

What did we use dog's bollocks for? To indicate a long pause (or should that be paws?). If you're reading silently or in your head, this probably isn't too much of an issue, but when you're reading something aloud, you could do with a few dog's bollocks for good measure.

If you're interested in seeing some examples of dog's bollocks, look no further than the U.S. Declaration of Independence, which features nine shining instances of dog's bollocks.

Get It Right: Apostrophes

Few punctuation marks cause as much trouble as the apostrophe. In English, the apostrophe serves several purposes, many of which are unknown to the general public.

These DVDs are waterproof... we hope!

Plurals

The apostrophe is not used for plurals! Despite what you may see, things such as DVDs (note the correct pluralisation) should not be written as DVD's, unless it's possessive.

Possessive

As we saw in our previous example, "DVD's" is actually possessive. When a noun becomes possessive we add an apostrophe before the s.

Example: I really enjoyed the DVD's extra features.

Nouns ending in s

Some nouns end in s. Usually one would add 's to the word to indicate the possessive. Here you have a choice. You may add an apostrophe without the letter s.

Example: James' house.

However, if you so wish you can add both.

Example: James's house.

This hungry chipmunk has contracted
a serious case of cuteness!

Personally, we prefer omitting the additional s but both are considered correct and rather than getting into a fight about it, you should just be consistent.

Contractions

An apostrophe is used in when two words have contracted to form a new word. The combination of I and am contract to form I'm, for example. Combine it and is and you will get it's.

Example: I like the DVD, it's really good.

Its (not it's)

Even though the contraction of it and is uses an apostrophe, when you're talking about the possessive of the third person neutral, it, then you do not use an apostrophe.

Example: The DVD was a success thanks to its extra features.

Why Ask A Rhetorical Question?

We imagine most people have asked a rhetorical question at some point in their life. A rhetorical question, in fact, has little, if anything, to do with rhetoric. Following the media shit-storm that was the US election, we're glad it's all over.

A rhetorical question is merely a statement posed in the form of a question. It's often wrongly referenced as a question with no answer when it is in fact a question that does not require an answer. Of course, the question has an answer... it's just unwanted or irrelevant. Who knew?

"What's the meaning of life?" is a question
with no answer, but it isn't rhetorical!

Leaving excuses to throw in as many rhetorical questions as possible aside, why do we ask them? Rhetorical questions are perhaps the most British way to make a statement. Avoiding exactly what you're trying to say is a staple of the Northern-European-Island-Dwellers and they sure love it! Simply put, to utilise the non-direct nature of a question without making an intended, and possibly offensive, statement.

There are negative rhetorical questions, such as: "Can't you do anything right?" which infers that they can't do anything right, but it's not as strong as saying "You don't do anything right!". Given that they work exceptionally with irony and sarcasm, why wouldn't they be great for the Brits?

"Who the bloody hell do you think
you're talking to?"

When writing rhetorical questions, should you punctuate? The general consensus is that even though it's not a traditional question, you should always include the question mark "?" as you would with any other question. That said, there is in fact a lesser known punctuation mark know as the percontation point (or the rhetorical question mark for those of us who can't be bothered to learn the word "percontation") and was proposed as early as the 1580s. Though, as with other uncommon types of punctuation, it's probably not worth using since nobody is familiar with it.

Percontation mark?

So why ask a rhetorical question? We'll leave that up to you. It's your language. We'd advise that if you want to be clear about something, then avoid them. However, if you like having a bit of fun with your language, give them a go! Why not?