No Regrets

I know, I'm a horrible person. I haven't blogged since I was in school. But I just had to share some thoughts from today. First off, I don't work at Babies R Us anymore. Why is this so important? Because  where I work now... I love it! My co workers are fun! It's nice to be in a place where you feel appreciated not just by the customers but by your co workers too! But I'm still me. I go to work, I do my best, but! I'm getting better at taking criticism. Especially when I make big Uh Ohs. Sadly though, I haven't reached the point where I see my co workers outside of work barely ever. I don't like to think there's a big difference between me at work and me not at work. But enough of a difference in placement that some things are removed and some are gained. No crap attitude removed, more patience gained. (It has to be!)
This week, however, my supervisor, Annie, told me that I'm not like any other Mormon she's ever met. I'm not the Molly Mormon kind or the break every rule in the book kind either. I'm a nice in between-ner. Experience has made me that way. The don't judge what you don't understand kind of person. If I don't understand that's when I get into my annoying constantly asking questions kind of person. I want to know so I can better understand the people around me. Not to mention, once I better understand a person, I become the kind of person you don't want to cross. I very much protect the people I've come to know, and in the process, care about. So I've got a big heart, so sue me.
So today, I sent a co worker a text telling him to enjoy his day off and no regrets! That's the kind of person I've become. If you want to do something, do it with no regrets. If it's something you're not proud of (I definitely have my own) then chalk it up to lessons learned. But if you doubt something, wait, think it over, weigh the pros, the cons, take everything into account. When you know or just don't care, then do it. Just no regrets! So go do whatever you want, but don't come around whining about the consequences that you can't control. The hangover, the break up, the time lost, whatever! Take your grieving period, of course, then chalk it up and keep moving. There will be another day just like it, but enjoy the moment.
Let me share another thing with you (for whomever is reading) before I leave you to the rest of your day. We are always going to meet people who are very two faced. Say one thing to you and another behind your back. That's usually what that means. Those are the kind of people I don't like to take my time for. I don't care for liars. If you can't be honest, how can I know that I can ever trust you with anything?! I've dropped friends that I once really cared about because they couldn't be honest with me. It's sad, but true. It's not fair, but neither is lying to another person. But don't get confused. It's not the little white lies of "I like those shoes." It's the ones that question your integrity. I always say it's better to be honest. You might be surprised how forgiving some people are or even understanding.
As for the two faced perspective, I'm not judging. I've been there. I've done that. It's tiresome, exhausting, and quite frustrating to live that way! So yes, I've done a lot of things, one of the many reasons I am the way I am.
Ok so I've done a lot of rambling. Sorry! Just tune me out, or tell me to shut up. I'm pretty used to it. But for just today. Try going for no regrets. At the end of the day, think over everything you've done. Any regrets? Try for a max of 3, after all it's my favorite number! And here's one to chalk up to experience. Take a leap! Do something you wouldn't normally do. Mine? I'm going to text this link to this post to my new co workers. I might get laughed at or teased. Or it might bite me in the butt. But I'll chalk it up to experience and have no regrets!

And don't think I haven't forgotten any kind of images! Here's some from work this past week!

Annie always has the best advice!

Crummy & Derek setting up our feature. Sparkles is Derek's best color!

Let Him Lead Me

It is really almost one am. I know that being up this late is not good for me, however this is my favorite time of day. This is when everyone has gone to bed, but this is also when I do my best thinking. It doesn’t happen every night, so those nights when I feel it I like to take the time to write some of it down. If not I at least hope that my feelings and the Spirit are embedded within these words. Turn on some nice calming music, something to eat or drink, and read and study until I feel ready for bed whenever that may come. Last night, I was trying to sleep in the room with Rachel, the last thing she said before I went to sleep was that she loves him. And sadly all it did was remind me what I don’t have. I know that those feelings do not come from our Father in Heaven. I also know that my Heavenly Father knows the desires of my heart, and He knows how much I love and miss my future family. I am constantly in awe of the kind of people that Heavenly Father puts into my life. Rachel came into my life when I really needed a friend. What I was not expecting to gain was the little sister I never had. I think she was to be a constant reminder of the things to come. My family will grow and that I will find him. I will find my eternal friend and he will stick around even when things look bleak, and things WILL get better. It is only “small moment,” but it is best to look for him with my eyes closed and my heart open. Let Him lead me.

Strong Enough

There are moments when I feel that I am not strong enough. That no matter what I do I cannot handle what the world throws at me. I am absolutely terrified that I will never be able to do anything that a normal adult can do because I have too much anxiety. My Paxil was amazing for my depression. It worked in the beginning however with time my body becomes immune to different medication, as much as I have so much anxiety in my life. A thought occurred to me one day, there is a reason why that when we feel that we cannot do anything more, our bodies collapse onto our knees. He made our bodies that way so that when we feel we cannot do anything all we have to do is tell him that we cannot do it on our own. We are already on our knees; we just need to admit that we cannot do this life alone. That we need His help to get through each hour of each day, as long as we are willing and able to ask, God will provide it. It may not be the way we wanted, thought, or imagined but He will help us get through this life.

Light

Today was a crazy busy day. However I really enjoyed it. Rachel came town to help me pack and clean to be able to go home! We made dinner and took it to the guys. I really enjoyed spending sometime with John, just surfing “Reddit.” That was probably the last time I will have that opportunity for quite some time. John, Rachel and I were hanging out. Rachel kept talking and talking. I turned to John and said, “Aren’t you glad I talk that much?” He gave a small smile and nodded and said, “Yes.” I think he began to appreciate me a little bit more. Today in Communication class, Brother Williams shared Micah 7:8. When we are in darkness, He will bring a light in for us. So we may be able to see.  I found an old quote in my scriptures from a youth conference I had attended when I was younger saying, “Our trials are made for us.” I have been blessed this year when it comes to relationships with my friends, family and my own loving Heavenly Father. He has blessed me beyond what I deserve.  They have blessed my life in more ways than I may ever realize. 

Take A Moment

With less than twelve hours until my photo portfolio is due and I have a lot to do. I feel that it is important to write in my journal and do a little bit of scripture study. I feel it is important to write down everything I have learned whether it be worldly or spiritually. All of it is important.
Quentin L. Cook described the divine qualities of women as strength, virtue, love and willingness to sacrifice for future generations. He said, “Though women are not perfect and all face individual struggles, their faith in a loving Father in Heaven and the assurance of the atoning sacrifice of the savior permeates their lives… No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children.”
Ezra Taft Benson said, “To you single adult brethren I want you to know of my great love for each of you. I have great expectations for you and a great hope in you.”
We are each incredible because of the way we face the trials of life. We remain remarkably strong and immovable to the faith. 

Within the Arms of a Priesthood Holder

I know that I can feel the Lord wrapping me in His arms of love. Sometimes I just need someone to give me a hug, to be wrapped in arms of love. In that moment I feel safe, protected and loved. I am reminded that I am not alone. The closest thing that I can get to my Heavenly Father is one of those young men who call themselves worthy priesthood holders. The powers of Heaven are connected to us through worthy priesthood holders. When I feel the arms of Heaven’s love is when I am in the arms of a worthy priesthood holder. 
David A. Bednar said, “ Our priesthood holders represent God in this day in age.” 
Men who hold the priesthood should act differently than other men. We expect more from men who hold the God’s priesthood. I expect more from the priesthood holders because I see the power they carry and I am in awe.  I also know that a man with God’s power cannot be a man of the world.