A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables to take.
He picked up a CD player to place in his sack, when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying
"Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables.Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses" the burglar laughed, "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"
The bird answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would name that Rottweiler over there Jesus."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Updating on Updates about Mom
17 October 2008
Greetings
It is way past time for an update on my ever improving health status. Day by day I get stronger. The stairs are no longer an obstacle. I am up to daily excursions. I had a PET scan on Tuesday. It was a little unnerving to have medication encased in lead shot into my veins. Todd said that we should find a dark room to see if my radioactive self would glow. I would prefer not to know if that’s okay. We got the results back just a few minutes ago. The scan was negative! There is no sign of Meta-something-something disease (any other tumors). I could just sigh with relief, but I’d rather have a party. Great news!
I did more reading over the weekend on my condition and upcoming treatment. Big mistake! Monday morning I woke up way too early and cried and cried and cried. Internet research on the topic is not only depressing it is endless and depressing! Five year survival rates vary from 85% to 8%. Ultimately, people write when they are upset. They write to vent, not to inspire. Negative, negative, negative! And when I look at professional documentation the jargon just takes too much work for my easily tired brain. I have limited myself to reading what the doctor gives me and recommends. My prognosis is very, very good. We are being blessed from many directions, and fear is certainly not a map to healing.
Todd and I went for “training” Tuesday for my upcoming chemotherapy. (In response to many questions, no, at this point we are not planning on radiation.) It was a great follow-up to my tears that morning. In addition to a video of general information regarding the results of treatment, one of the nurses spent nearly an hour helping me to understand what I might expect from my particular medications. I came out feeling much more hopeful and not nearly so angry and frightened.
I have been told repeatedly that I can get through this, “you are young and healthy”. Todd got to spend a couple of hours in the waiting room of the cancer center and informed me that he now understands why we hear that so much by my caregivers. “Linda, you are young and healthy!”
I have started a list of blessings in my journal. Here are a few from the past week:
-We live in a large metropolitan area, it’s only thirty minutes to receive treatment, not 3 hours.
-The high school, middle school, and Devin’s work are so close to the house.
-The kids have risen to the occasion in many ways. Every day Devin surprises me with something thoughtful, Caden tucks me in at night instead of vice-versa. Etc.
-Todd’s health has improved much during the past year.
-I went to the dentist. I wanted to get checked out before I start treatment. I came home with flowers and a gift basket, how very thoughtful.
-The weather has been absolutely divine! It does so much to warm my heart.
-Todd has been able to work from the house for the most part and be here with me.
-The bills have started coming in, but as the annual deductible was met, so far our expenses have remained manageable.
Okay, that’s enough for one day. Sufficient to say, “Finding joy in the journey” is much easier when I count my blessings every day.
Thanks again to the kindness of others; we are spending this weekend in the mountains of Colorado. As the list of things we could do before chemo grew, the question became, “Linda, this is for you, what do you want to do?” I thought of my Dad. I want to go to the mountains, and smell the air, and feel the wind, and gather strength from the beauty around me.
Thank you all for your thoughtfulness. We will continue to keep you up to date. Have a beautiful weekend!
Linda
3 October 2008
Greetings and salutations! Here is the update that I promised.
We met with the oncologist yesterday at which time he went through the pathology report with us. The tumor was not a meatball, but it was more like in the shape of a "little cheddar meatloaf". 'm not sure what picture that puts in your mind, but the description works for us. For those keeping count, the tumor was in cancer terms a T3 or T4, N0 and M? - which puts it in either a stage II-A or II-B. This is really good news. If we do what the oncologist recommends, I will undergo 12 chemotherapy treatments beginning Oct 23 - each of which is 2 weeks apart. Dr Diab says that although we do not see any other cancer, it will help to eliminate the "seeds" and reduce the possibility of recurrence from 33% to 20-25%. The type of chemo treatment is called FOLFOX. Many have asked about what the side affects will be - and at this point I've been told that each person reacts differently. We may have a better understanding in a couple of weeks when we go to what the nurse called "teaching".
Besides the chemo, the doctor has prescribed a PET scan to determine if there are any other tumors. Also, he wants me to undergo genetic testing to see if I am carrying a gene for this type of cancer that can be passed on to my children.
I've been feeling pretty good today. I'm learning to pace myself such as taking a call from my brother this morning and then sleeping for a couple of hours. I went to my primary care physician, not only to thank him for paying attention to my symptoms, but to also follow-up and have my remaining stitches removed, which I hope will make sleeping more comfortable.
When I wrote you last time, it took me several hours to type that note. So tonight, I have a ghost-writer who I am dictating to and who is editing many of my comments.
I am very weary after watching BYU defeat Utah State in a "sloppy, ugly, and unbecoming of the 7th ranked team" football game (and yes, that really was her speaking).
We will keep you posted of any changes or decisions. Meanwhile, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Take care and God Bless.
Linda
1 October 2008
Linda took it upon herself to write to you tonight.
Greetings!
Linda says to tell you that she is doing well. "It is easy not to overdo when one does not have enough energy to do anything. It is good to be home. I could say I have good days and bad days, but right now I have good moments and bad moments. Tomorrow's goal - do my hair. I will return and report."
She goes for her first official visit to the oncologist next Thursday.
We are being well taken care of by our local family and friends. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Greetings
It is way past time for an update on my ever improving health status. Day by day I get stronger. The stairs are no longer an obstacle. I am up to daily excursions. I had a PET scan on Tuesday. It was a little unnerving to have medication encased in lead shot into my veins. Todd said that we should find a dark room to see if my radioactive self would glow. I would prefer not to know if that’s okay. We got the results back just a few minutes ago. The scan was negative! There is no sign of Meta-something-something disease (any other tumors). I could just sigh with relief, but I’d rather have a party. Great news!
I did more reading over the weekend on my condition and upcoming treatment. Big mistake! Monday morning I woke up way too early and cried and cried and cried. Internet research on the topic is not only depressing it is endless and depressing! Five year survival rates vary from 85% to 8%. Ultimately, people write when they are upset. They write to vent, not to inspire. Negative, negative, negative! And when I look at professional documentation the jargon just takes too much work for my easily tired brain. I have limited myself to reading what the doctor gives me and recommends. My prognosis is very, very good. We are being blessed from many directions, and fear is certainly not a map to healing.
Todd and I went for “training” Tuesday for my upcoming chemotherapy. (In response to many questions, no, at this point we are not planning on radiation.) It was a great follow-up to my tears that morning. In addition to a video of general information regarding the results of treatment, one of the nurses spent nearly an hour helping me to understand what I might expect from my particular medications. I came out feeling much more hopeful and not nearly so angry and frightened.
I have been told repeatedly that I can get through this, “you are young and healthy”. Todd got to spend a couple of hours in the waiting room of the cancer center and informed me that he now understands why we hear that so much by my caregivers. “Linda, you are young and healthy!”
I have started a list of blessings in my journal. Here are a few from the past week:
-We live in a large metropolitan area, it’s only thirty minutes to receive treatment, not 3 hours.
-The high school, middle school, and Devin’s work are so close to the house.
-The kids have risen to the occasion in many ways. Every day Devin surprises me with something thoughtful, Caden tucks me in at night instead of vice-versa. Etc.
-Todd’s health has improved much during the past year.
-I went to the dentist. I wanted to get checked out before I start treatment. I came home with flowers and a gift basket, how very thoughtful.
-The weather has been absolutely divine! It does so much to warm my heart.
-Todd has been able to work from the house for the most part and be here with me.
-The bills have started coming in, but as the annual deductible was met, so far our expenses have remained manageable.
Okay, that’s enough for one day. Sufficient to say, “Finding joy in the journey” is much easier when I count my blessings every day.
Thanks again to the kindness of others; we are spending this weekend in the mountains of Colorado. As the list of things we could do before chemo grew, the question became, “Linda, this is for you, what do you want to do?” I thought of my Dad. I want to go to the mountains, and smell the air, and feel the wind, and gather strength from the beauty around me.
Thank you all for your thoughtfulness. We will continue to keep you up to date. Have a beautiful weekend!
Linda
3 October 2008
Greetings and salutations! Here is the update that I promised.
We met with the oncologist yesterday at which time he went through the pathology report with us. The tumor was not a meatball, but it was more like in the shape of a "little cheddar meatloaf". 'm not sure what picture that puts in your mind, but the description works for us. For those keeping count, the tumor was in cancer terms a T3 or T4, N0 and M? - which puts it in either a stage II-A or II-B. This is really good news. If we do what the oncologist recommends, I will undergo 12 chemotherapy treatments beginning Oct 23 - each of which is 2 weeks apart. Dr Diab says that although we do not see any other cancer, it will help to eliminate the "seeds" and reduce the possibility of recurrence from 33% to 20-25%. The type of chemo treatment is called FOLFOX. Many have asked about what the side affects will be - and at this point I've been told that each person reacts differently. We may have a better understanding in a couple of weeks when we go to what the nurse called "teaching".
Besides the chemo, the doctor has prescribed a PET scan to determine if there are any other tumors. Also, he wants me to undergo genetic testing to see if I am carrying a gene for this type of cancer that can be passed on to my children.
I've been feeling pretty good today. I'm learning to pace myself such as taking a call from my brother this morning and then sleeping for a couple of hours. I went to my primary care physician, not only to thank him for paying attention to my symptoms, but to also follow-up and have my remaining stitches removed, which I hope will make sleeping more comfortable.
When I wrote you last time, it took me several hours to type that note. So tonight, I have a ghost-writer who I am dictating to and who is editing many of my comments.
I am very weary after watching BYU defeat Utah State in a "sloppy, ugly, and unbecoming of the 7th ranked team" football game (and yes, that really was her speaking).
We will keep you posted of any changes or decisions. Meanwhile, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Take care and God Bless.
Linda
1 October 2008
Linda took it upon herself to write to you tonight.
Greetings!
Tomorrow is Austin’s p-day. Since I am going to update him briefly on my health I decided to have Todd send it on to the rest of you.
I am doing well, as well as can be expected. I wish for my strength to all come back at once. It is not going to work that way, patience is going to be part of the challenge. I have gone back to daily journaling. I do that partially so that I can count my blessings, partially so that I can read my own words and see progress, and partially as a piece of physical therapy to help improve my dexterity. In the ICU Addie made me an alphabet chart so that I could just point to letters in order to communicate. How frustrating it was not to be able to even point to the right letters! (Yes John, I thought of you!)
I t is nice to be home. I am managing the stairs better every day. We have been well taken care of. The house is full of food. Kind help has come from many directions. I have been grateful for the thoughtfulness of so many. I am especially grateful for the prayers, notes and cards from so many of you. If I had a highlight of my hospital stay it would be when Todd would read me the notes and cards that came each day.
Our daily routine around here has changed dramatically. Todd came up to go to bed last night at a little bit after eleven and commented about how strange it is to come up and find me awake. I’m usually out like a light at ten, up at five. These days Caden wakes us up after his shower. I rarely know when Devin leaves for seminary. The kids seem to be doing fine. I am grateful for Caden’s drive right now. He doesn’t need anyone to spur him on. As always, he has kept up in everything, and excelled.
I am doing my hair every day now. Sometimes it takes till 2 pm. I have yet to get through my normal morning routine but I have new goals everyday. Todays was not to slouch-my back muscles have dissolved like so many others. FYI I have reached 2100 on my inspirometerblowthi ng. Much better than the 700 I started with. I did ask the pulmonologist what the goal was (2500) since Devin came to hospital and effortlessly blew to 4000. How rude! Oh to have the strength, agility, and ability to take it for granted for a 16 year old boy.
Tomorrow I go see the oncologist. Friday the family practitioner who recognized that there was a major problem. As several of you have asked, yes, I am anxious. There will be decisions to make. A step into a challenge that I have never faced before. However, I remind myself that life is full of challenges that I have never faced before. I have much to be grateful for. We will update you this weekend. I’m sure you will all want to hear about our new grand adventure! Many thanks and love to all.
Linda
Linda says to tell you that she is doing well. "It is easy not to overdo when one does not have enough energy to do anything. It is good to be home. I could say I have good days and bad days, but right now I have good moments and bad moments. Tomorrow's goal - do my hair. I will return and report."
She goes for her first official visit to the oncologist next Thursday.
We are being well taken care of by our local family and friends. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Mom Update
9/22
Linda is home. She is tired, but she is doing well. She says she is making one phone call a day. I figure at that rate it should be well into next year by the time she personally thanks everyone.
Diagnosis and cancer treatment will start in a couple of weeks.
Thank you again. I don't plan on continuing the daily updates, but will let you know how she is doing in a few days.
9/21
I think a good indication of Linda's health is the little spin she did after they removed her chest tube saying, "I'm tubeless". We thought she may come home today, but the doctor wanted her under observation for one more day. So we are hopeful for tomorrow after they take a final x-ray.
To me it's remarkable how quickly she has gained strength in the last 2 days. She successfully walked up 2 flights of stairs today. On Friday she was hunched over her walker just barely moving about.
Sorry about the late email last night. We had a very busy day and I ended up visiting Linda at the hospital until very late. The Andersen's were kind enough to put together a birthday party for Cade's birthday - a laser tag event with 4 of his friends. I promise that Linda insisted that I stay home and watch BYU squash Wyoming in football. Devin doesn't have his driver's license yet, so we still have to get him back and forth to work. We are glad that he has his permit so that he can drive his mom around once she's home. We've got friends from church who are bringing in food for us this week. We are blessed.
Oh and some of you have asked about our son Austin and how he is doing after receiving news about his mother. He wrote last Thursday saying, "As for me, i'm doing well. Elder Soffe and I are getting along great. My biggest struggle is finding new people to teach. It's already starting to feel like I've already talked to everyone in Bellefontaine (Ohio). But somehow the Lord always brings to (us) the people he's prepared. We're teaching two people right now that are really working hard to prepare for baptism."
Oh and to answer those who have asked about me, I am tired. I think it has to do with not getting as much exercise as I'm used to, but I think this will change once Linda is home. I also know there is the stress that comes with this experience - again - exercise should help.
Thanks again for your love and support.
9/20
Yes, it is late tonight. Just a brief update. Fluid continues to drain off around Linda's right lung. The best explanation we have is that her body produced a lot of fluid in its attempt to fight off the severe infection and the fluid is not being absorbed back in her vascular system. For now, this means that she will be in the hospital at least through Monday.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
9/19
Linda had enough fluid that came off her right lung again today, that they decided to continue to observe her for one more day. Hopefully she'll be home tomorrow, but it is looking maybe like Sunday. In every other way Linda says she is ready to come home. She has only the chest tube and an oxygen line - even the IV is now removed. This is a big step from a week ago when it was hard to keep track of all the tubes and drugs that were going into her.
She was very talkative today. We attempted to read scriptures tonight, but I could hardly get past one verse without her going off on a tangent of some sort. Believe me this is great news. It reminds me of when I travel and Linda has spent the whole day being in our kid's world and all she wants to do at the end of the day is talk with me. She still is not talking very loudly and seemingly runs out of breath. A walk around the hospital ward still wears her out. It's hard for her to deal with the idea that this came on so quickly and has weakened her body so dramatically.
I must tell you, although Cade may not appreciate this, but he painted Linda's toenails for her today. Hannah Mero took him and I guess while she did Linda's nails Cade did the kind of pedicure that you would expect from a 12 year-old boy (to begin with, it was multi-colored) . guess this was going on while Linda watched "PS I love you". Cade also mentioned that Linda went on a walk without the assistance of her walker.
I was reading one of the pamphlets that the social worker dropped off about how to deal with the news of cancer. It had a section on whether or not to tell people that you have cancer. It suddenly struck me that maybe Linda didn't want me to share this news, but she reassured me that I knew her well enough that even if it had been an "us" decision, we would want you to know. Although Linda isn't one to want attention showered upon her, she does understand the power of united prayer and appreciates the resulting blessings.
Thank you again for your love, thoughts and prayers for my wife.
9/18
Linda says she had a good day today because of her improved health, enjoying your cards and emails and the help we are receiving here at home. The day didn't start out that way. I think she has had time to process what has happened and it all kind of hit her this morning. I realized that for the rest of us, it has been almost 2 weeks, but Linda only remembers the last 4 days. She cried - "a healthy cry", as she calls it.
She is still having trouble breathing, but again this could be a part of the fluid problem. Her chest tube is still in. For some reason they had not hooked the siphon up to the tube and allowed fluid to collect around her right lung again. We hope tomorrow, now that the siphon is hooked up, that she will have very little fluid and be able to come home. Linda's doing her best to prepare. She took a number of walks today around the hospital ward. She didn't have much of an appetite today. She was also happy to have the catheter tube out.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
9/17
Linda must be feeling better. She called me from the hospital several times today. Although when I visited with her this evening, she said it took all the effort she could make to have a 3 minute conversation with me over the phone. Right now that is the biggest concern - getting her lungs back to full strength. My niece, Reanna (an RN), tells me the blowing apparatus is called an "incentive spirometer". Linda is working with it a lot. Her breathing is improving, and we talked to the respiratory doctor tonight who says that she can get her chest tube out when she has less than 150 ml of fluid drainage in 24 hours. We only had a measure for the last 12 hours which was 120 ml.
I need to call the oncologist tomorrow and schedule Linda follow-up appointment. I hope to talk to him and get some of my questions answered.
Thanks to Tom Benzon from our church congregation, Linda enjoyed watching a recording of the BYU/UCLA game from this past weekend. I hope that Linda is home for this Saturday's BYU/Wyoming game. I do miss Linda being home with us, but am grateful this week to have her talking and recovering.
I hope that my words can convey our gratitude to you for remembering Linda at this time. We have enjoyed all the communication (emails and cards). If you have a chance, write me an e-mail and let us know how your family is doing. Linda really enjoys listening to me read your replies to my updates.
Linda is home. She is tired, but she is doing well. She says she is making one phone call a day. I figure at that rate it should be well into next year by the time she personally thanks everyone.
Diagnosis and cancer treatment will start in a couple of weeks.
Thank you again. I don't plan on continuing the daily updates, but will let you know how she is doing in a few days.
9/21
I think a good indication of Linda's health is the little spin she did after they removed her chest tube saying, "I'm tubeless". We thought she may come home today, but the doctor wanted her under observation for one more day. So we are hopeful for tomorrow after they take a final x-ray.
To me it's remarkable how quickly she has gained strength in the last 2 days. She successfully walked up 2 flights of stairs today. On Friday she was hunched over her walker just barely moving about.
Sorry about the late email last night. We had a very busy day and I ended up visiting Linda at the hospital until very late. The Andersen's were kind enough to put together a birthday party for Cade's birthday - a laser tag event with 4 of his friends. I promise that Linda insisted that I stay home and watch BYU squash Wyoming in football. Devin doesn't have his driver's license yet, so we still have to get him back and forth to work. We are glad that he has his permit so that he can drive his mom around once she's home. We've got friends from church who are bringing in food for us this week. We are blessed.
Oh and some of you have asked about our son Austin and how he is doing after receiving news about his mother. He wrote last Thursday saying, "As for me, i'm doing well. Elder Soffe and I are getting along great. My biggest struggle is finding new people to teach. It's already starting to feel like I've already talked to everyone in Bellefontaine (Ohio). But somehow the Lord always brings to (us) the people he's prepared. We're teaching two people right now that are really working hard to prepare for baptism."
Oh and to answer those who have asked about me, I am tired. I think it has to do with not getting as much exercise as I'm used to, but I think this will change once Linda is home. I also know there is the stress that comes with this experience - again - exercise should help.
Thanks again for your love and support.
9/20
Yes, it is late tonight. Just a brief update. Fluid continues to drain off around Linda's right lung. The best explanation we have is that her body produced a lot of fluid in its attempt to fight off the severe infection and the fluid is not being absorbed back in her vascular system. For now, this means that she will be in the hospital at least through Monday.
Thank you for your continued prayers.
9/19
Linda had enough fluid that came off her right lung again today, that they decided to continue to observe her for one more day. Hopefully she'll be home tomorrow, but it is looking maybe like Sunday. In every other way Linda says she is ready to come home. She has only the chest tube and an oxygen line - even the IV is now removed. This is a big step from a week ago when it was hard to keep track of all the tubes and drugs that were going into her.
She was very talkative today. We attempted to read scriptures tonight, but I could hardly get past one verse without her going off on a tangent of some sort. Believe me this is great news. It reminds me of when I travel and Linda has spent the whole day being in our kid's world and all she wants to do at the end of the day is talk with me. She still is not talking very loudly and seemingly runs out of breath. A walk around the hospital ward still wears her out. It's hard for her to deal with the idea that this came on so quickly and has weakened her body so dramatically.
I must tell you, although Cade may not appreciate this, but he painted Linda's toenails for her today. Hannah Mero took him and I guess while she did Linda's nails Cade did the kind of pedicure that you would expect from a 12 year-old boy (to begin with, it was multi-colored) . guess this was going on while Linda watched "PS I love you". Cade also mentioned that Linda went on a walk without the assistance of her walker.
I was reading one of the pamphlets that the social worker dropped off about how to deal with the news of cancer. It had a section on whether or not to tell people that you have cancer. It suddenly struck me that maybe Linda didn't want me to share this news, but she reassured me that I knew her well enough that even if it had been an "us" decision, we would want you to know. Although Linda isn't one to want attention showered upon her, she does understand the power of united prayer and appreciates the resulting blessings.
Thank you again for your love, thoughts and prayers for my wife.
9/18
Linda says she had a good day today because of her improved health, enjoying your cards and emails and the help we are receiving here at home. The day didn't start out that way. I think she has had time to process what has happened and it all kind of hit her this morning. I realized that for the rest of us, it has been almost 2 weeks, but Linda only remembers the last 4 days. She cried - "a healthy cry", as she calls it.
She is still having trouble breathing, but again this could be a part of the fluid problem. Her chest tube is still in. For some reason they had not hooked the siphon up to the tube and allowed fluid to collect around her right lung again. We hope tomorrow, now that the siphon is hooked up, that she will have very little fluid and be able to come home. Linda's doing her best to prepare. She took a number of walks today around the hospital ward. She didn't have much of an appetite today. She was also happy to have the catheter tube out.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
9/17
Linda must be feeling better. She called me from the hospital several times today. Although when I visited with her this evening, she said it took all the effort she could make to have a 3 minute conversation with me over the phone. Right now that is the biggest concern - getting her lungs back to full strength. My niece, Reanna (an RN), tells me the blowing apparatus is called an "incentive spirometer". Linda is working with it a lot. Her breathing is improving, and we talked to the respiratory doctor tonight who says that she can get her chest tube out when she has less than 150 ml of fluid drainage in 24 hours. We only had a measure for the last 12 hours which was 120 ml.
I need to call the oncologist tomorrow and schedule Linda follow-up appointment. I hope to talk to him and get some of my questions answered.
Thanks to Tom Benzon from our church congregation, Linda enjoyed watching a recording of the BYU/UCLA game from this past weekend. I hope that Linda is home for this Saturday's BYU/Wyoming game. I do miss Linda being home with us, but am grateful this week to have her talking and recovering.
I hope that my words can convey our gratitude to you for remembering Linda at this time. We have enjoyed all the communication (emails and cards). If you have a chance, write me an e-mail and let us know how your family is doing. Linda really enjoys listening to me read your replies to my updates.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Mom Updates
Update (9/14/08)
Today the doctor upgraded Linda's condition such that they will move her out of the ICU as soon as a bed comes available in the regular hospital (yes, this hospital is that busy).
When I arrived this morning they were taking an ultrasound of Linda's lungs. Her right lung looked really good, but her left lung was collapsed. They drained a lot of fluid off of the left lung. Once that was done, it was clear to me that Linda's chest was rising from both sides, but they still took an x-ray which showed all was well.Linda's voice improved slightly, but the Vicodin she is on had her a little loopy. Somehow she got the idea that she would be going home tomorrow or the next day. When the nurse heard this, she asked, "who told you that?" and kind of looked my way. I put my hands up and swore it wasn't my idea. The nurse told her that she can come home when she is back in the condition that she was in before she came to the hospital. Linda seemed to interpret this as meaning the same condition as when she came in the hospital, on a stretcher, and she thought she could achieve this rather quickly. So much for wishful thinking - I'm hoping that it will be by the end of the week.It is great to have my wife to talk to again. She is dealing well with the news that she has colon cancer. She thinks it began when Devin was born in 1992. Not that it is Devin's fault, but that she had a misdiagnosed illness that has annoyed her ever since.Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We live in a time where God has blessed us with some incredible medical technology, but I also believe that our prayers were answered now that both her lungs are working on their own.
Update (9/15/08)
I found Linda up and cheerful when I arrived this morning at the hospital. She is breathing so well, that they took her off the oxygen feed. She is eating solid food and really enjoyed a vanilla milkshake that Joe brought her. She is more than willing to put in the work that the physical therapist started her on. Having had 4 C-sections, she has a pretty good idea of what it takes to get back to walking condition. In this case her goal is to be able to make it upstairs when she comes home. For today she walked to the hospital room door and back with the aid of a walker.Before I arrived this morning, Linda had met with the oncologist. Linda said that he was nothing but encouraging. He wants to be "aggressive" in Linda's treatment since she is still "young". Not much in treatment will occur for now - he wants her to get her strength back which will probably be 5 or 6 weeks from now. Please continue to pray for Linda to be able to gain strength.She moved rooms today, but to another ICU room. Officially she is supposed to be "upstairs" and out of the ICU, but they don't have any beds available yet which means she still can't have visitors, flowers or balloons. Thanks to those who have sent cards - she has really enjoyed reading them.
Update (9/16/08)
Linda texted me this morning because she got to take a shower. They have now moved her to room 445 in the Medical Center of Aurora (which happens to be the pediatric ward). She still has a chest tube in her to drain the fluid from around her lungs. She was told that it would be at least 24 hours after they take the tube out before she can come home, and the tube won't come out until she shows no signs of excess fluid around the lungs. She is working hard to increase her lung strength with one of those blowing apparatus (you know, blow the ball so high and keep it there).If you would like to visit her at the hospital, please call me first - 303-810-1780. Again we are so thankful for your thoughts and prayers. In family prayer tonight Cade asked to "please bless all the people who are praying for mom".
Today the doctor upgraded Linda's condition such that they will move her out of the ICU as soon as a bed comes available in the regular hospital (yes, this hospital is that busy).
When I arrived this morning they were taking an ultrasound of Linda's lungs. Her right lung looked really good, but her left lung was collapsed. They drained a lot of fluid off of the left lung. Once that was done, it was clear to me that Linda's chest was rising from both sides, but they still took an x-ray which showed all was well.Linda's voice improved slightly, but the Vicodin she is on had her a little loopy. Somehow she got the idea that she would be going home tomorrow or the next day. When the nurse heard this, she asked, "who told you that?" and kind of looked my way. I put my hands up and swore it wasn't my idea. The nurse told her that she can come home when she is back in the condition that she was in before she came to the hospital. Linda seemed to interpret this as meaning the same condition as when she came in the hospital, on a stretcher, and she thought she could achieve this rather quickly. So much for wishful thinking - I'm hoping that it will be by the end of the week.It is great to have my wife to talk to again. She is dealing well with the news that she has colon cancer. She thinks it began when Devin was born in 1992. Not that it is Devin's fault, but that she had a misdiagnosed illness that has annoyed her ever since.Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We live in a time where God has blessed us with some incredible medical technology, but I also believe that our prayers were answered now that both her lungs are working on their own.
Update (9/15/08)
I found Linda up and cheerful when I arrived this morning at the hospital. She is breathing so well, that they took her off the oxygen feed. She is eating solid food and really enjoyed a vanilla milkshake that Joe brought her. She is more than willing to put in the work that the physical therapist started her on. Having had 4 C-sections, she has a pretty good idea of what it takes to get back to walking condition. In this case her goal is to be able to make it upstairs when she comes home. For today she walked to the hospital room door and back with the aid of a walker.Before I arrived this morning, Linda had met with the oncologist. Linda said that he was nothing but encouraging. He wants to be "aggressive" in Linda's treatment since she is still "young". Not much in treatment will occur for now - he wants her to get her strength back which will probably be 5 or 6 weeks from now. Please continue to pray for Linda to be able to gain strength.She moved rooms today, but to another ICU room. Officially she is supposed to be "upstairs" and out of the ICU, but they don't have any beds available yet which means she still can't have visitors, flowers or balloons. Thanks to those who have sent cards - she has really enjoyed reading them.
Update (9/16/08)
Linda texted me this morning because she got to take a shower. They have now moved her to room 445 in the Medical Center of Aurora (which happens to be the pediatric ward). She still has a chest tube in her to drain the fluid from around her lungs. She was told that it would be at least 24 hours after they take the tube out before she can come home, and the tube won't come out until she shows no signs of excess fluid around the lungs. She is working hard to increase her lung strength with one of those blowing apparatus (you know, blow the ball so high and keep it there).If you would like to visit her at the hospital, please call me first - 303-810-1780. Again we are so thankful for your thoughts and prayers. In family prayer tonight Cade asked to "please bless all the people who are praying for mom".
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Update on Mom + school update
Good news tonight. Once they were able to drain the fluid from around Linda's right lung, she was able to be weaned off of the respirator this afternoon. Linda was off sedation at the time, and her reaction to having the breathing tube and feeding tube pulled out of her was a big smile. Of course, she's not been able to speak for 7 days, but can do so now in a low raspy voice. Her first requests were, "Can I go home?", and "Can I take a shower?". She was also able to eat some cherry jello this evening. The doctor tells me that she will be in the ICU for at least another 2 days. They want to make sure she is okay without the breathing tube, that she regains some more strength, and that her "insult" from surgery is healing properly and not infected.
Here in Aurora it has been a long week - even the weather has been cold, dark and dreary. Today it was sunny and 77 degrees - as if the weather agreed with Linda's improvement.
I spoke with Austin's mission president in Columbus, OH. Elder Montgomery is pushing forward in spite of the news of his mother's health. We pray for his success continually.
As I said last night, I feel so dependent on the Lord's care of Linda right now. I am thankful that He is hearing our prayers and providing Linda the strength to improve and heal.
Linda looked good today, but repeated over and over again, "I am tired". She was able to visit with Addi and Devin this evening. Caden took advantage of an offer from the Lomax's to travel to Prove where he watched BYU beat UCLA 59-0. Oh, and Linda insisted that we record the game (which we had a friend do). She really enjoyed, along with her doctors and nurses, the "Super Linda" red cape and a poster-size picture of her kids (including the 2 Mero girls) that her friend Sarah Mero made for her.
There have been so many wonderful blessings that we have received from you our friends and family. Thank you. I can't think of anything that we need now. Thanks to those who have provided cards, food and mostly prayers.
So they've taken out about over 2 liters of fluid from the right lung and about a quart from the left lung. She's doing so much better and we hope to have her home soon. She'll then be in bed rest for about 6-10 weeks and then she still can't drive for a few months. We first figured that it would end up being that she can start driving around the time I leave for school.
As for my schooling is going, I'm starting up the whole application process again (Part 1-3 & Petition). I'm only worried about my bishop/stake member part as it needs to be on file by Oct. 1st. But I'm just kinda figuring that if I'm supposed to be there, there's not a whole lot to worry about. I was going to have this all done already, but Mom got sick and I pretty much forgot about it until it crossed my mind that it's about time to go back. So I'm not all that worried about not getting back in. I think I can handle going back to school as my last semester here in Colorado I was a full time student and working about 30-40 hours a week. This semester I'm a full time student, working part time, and running around a lot with everything that's going on with mom. So I've never really had any down time since I picked up school again. Oh well. Things in life may get tough, but either you travel with it or get left behind. That's just the way that it goes.
-Addison
I almost forgot. Joe Mero wrote a poem while hanging out at the hospital one day. Here it is:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And I can honestly say that I hate the ICU!
Here in Aurora it has been a long week - even the weather has been cold, dark and dreary. Today it was sunny and 77 degrees - as if the weather agreed with Linda's improvement.
I spoke with Austin's mission president in Columbus, OH. Elder Montgomery is pushing forward in spite of the news of his mother's health. We pray for his success continually.
As I said last night, I feel so dependent on the Lord's care of Linda right now. I am thankful that He is hearing our prayers and providing Linda the strength to improve and heal.
Linda looked good today, but repeated over and over again, "I am tired". She was able to visit with Addi and Devin this evening. Caden took advantage of an offer from the Lomax's to travel to Prove where he watched BYU beat UCLA 59-0. Oh, and Linda insisted that we record the game (which we had a friend do). She really enjoyed, along with her doctors and nurses, the "Super Linda" red cape and a poster-size picture of her kids (including the 2 Mero girls) that her friend Sarah Mero made for her.
There have been so many wonderful blessings that we have received from you our friends and family. Thank you. I can't think of anything that we need now. Thanks to those who have provided cards, food and mostly prayers.
So they've taken out about over 2 liters of fluid from the right lung and about a quart from the left lung. She's doing so much better and we hope to have her home soon. She'll then be in bed rest for about 6-10 weeks and then she still can't drive for a few months. We first figured that it would end up being that she can start driving around the time I leave for school.
As for my schooling is going, I'm starting up the whole application process again (Part 1-3 & Petition). I'm only worried about my bishop/stake member part as it needs to be on file by Oct. 1st. But I'm just kinda figuring that if I'm supposed to be there, there's not a whole lot to worry about. I was going to have this all done already, but Mom got sick and I pretty much forgot about it until it crossed my mind that it's about time to go back. So I'm not all that worried about not getting back in. I think I can handle going back to school as my last semester here in Colorado I was a full time student and working about 30-40 hours a week. This semester I'm a full time student, working part time, and running around a lot with everything that's going on with mom. So I've never really had any down time since I picked up school again. Oh well. Things in life may get tough, but either you travel with it or get left behind. That's just the way that it goes.
-Addison
I almost forgot. Joe Mero wrote a poem while hanging out at the hospital one day. Here it is:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And I can honestly say that I hate the ICU!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Update: Mom in the Hospital
So I've been so super busy that I haven't really had the time until today to type up what's going on with my mom. And to make life easier for me, I'm just going to copy & paste the updates that my dad's been sending out via email (they're in italics and my own words are in regular print).
Update #1 (9/6/08):
Update #1 (9/6/08):
On Tuesday, Linda went to the doctor for a standard checkup. Yesterday I took her back to the doctor because she was having abdominal pains. The doctor called before we left to let her know that her white blood cell count was high (20,000 - normally in a range of 7000 to 11000). He told us to have her go get a CT scan of her abdomen. When we did arrive at his office, he took another blood sample and sent us down to the urgent care for the CT scan. Initially they were concerned about appendicitis. The initial radiologists report from the scan showed an infection on the lining of the large intestine. They put her on an IV with a couple of antibiotics. Then the results came back from the second blood test showing her white blood cell count at 31,900. The doctor was very concerned and decided she needed to go to the hospital. She got to ride in an ambulance (and asks how her brother Ryan fits in one). I left her at the hospital last night where she was getting antibiotics, treatment for nausea and pain. I woke up at 6:30am this morning to a call from the gastro-intestinal surgeon to let me know that Linda had been transferred to the intensive care unit. They had re-read the CT scan and found what was either a larger infection or a possible tumor. The surgeon said she was going to go into surgery at 8:30am for exploratory surgery. He was very concerned, because Linda was "very sick". At about 10:30am Doctor Denton came out and gave us the news. He had removed half of Linda's large intestine where he had found what he thinks is a cancerous tumor that was very large in the portion of the
intestine called the cecum. We will not know for sure if it is until the pathologist comes back with a report on Monday or Tuesday. They also removed some other tissue around the area to biopsy that if it is cancerous, how much it has spread. Right now the doctor feels 99% sure it is cancer, but that they were able to remove it all. She is now back
in the ICU. She is sedated and won't be awake until tomorrow.
It was very difficult to perceive our mother with having problems. The morning of the surgery (Saturday) Devin, Caden, myself, and our family friends' kids, Hannah, and Emma went out to breakfast at Village Inn. It was only about seven in the morning. None of us had really received much sleep from the night before. We've still all have our sense of humor around as our waitress heard that our mom was in the hospital and asked, "Is she ok?" After leaving us, Devin replied with, "She's in the hospital and you're asking if she's ok?!" And we all laughed. After breakfast we went to the big park near our house and hung out there for a time ridding ourselves of our leftover energy. Oh and did I mention that we were all pretty much either in our pjs or sweats with the 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' look surrounding us. Only to return to our house and everyone sleeping in their own appointed place in the house. Dad came home that night just to tell us that there wasn't much of a point of us kids going to see mom as she's so sedated and incoherent.
Update #2 (9/7/08):
Just a quick update tonight. Not much changed today. Linda is still in the ICU and on a ventilator. She is under heavy sedation. Her blood pressure is lower than what it should be so they are working to bring that up. I spent most of the day at the hospital, and most of this evening on the phone.
Thank you to all those who are including Linda in your prayers. We can really use them right now. As I see it, there are 2 things going on - first do get her through this initial recovery from surgery and her being very sick and second, dealing with what looks to be like cancer.
So Sunday was an interesting day. I'm not one to show emotion around people (mainly sad/depressing emotions). I woke up and went to the Single's Ward at nine and all through Relief Society, I was leaning on my friend, Lisa, crying. When I was asked what was wrong, I couldn't even say, "My mom's in the hospital." without sobbing. Bro. Snelgrove of the bishopic gave me a comfort blessing that helped very much so. I then decided that I was going to go be with my family. Oh how that blessing helped me as the family ward members began asking the same questions several times over and I never shed a single tear!
Our phone liked to ring a lot too. I was usually the only person home, so I just never picked it up. In all honesty, I was just too lazy to. And since about Mon-Wed, our phone hardly ever rings anymore. And the people who we're fine with talking to know already how to reach us, since we're hardly ever home anyways.
Update #3 (9/8/08):
Not much to update you on tonight. Linda continues to recover in the ICU. Because she is not able to be weaned off of the ventilator, she will probably be in the ICU for another 2 or 3 days. Her blood pressureis back to normal. She is still sedated and only to really nod her head to simple questions. Addi, Devin and Caden came to the hospital to see Linda (post-surgery) for the first time this evening. Linda's nurse was very helpful in answering all of their questions. We did not get the pathology back on the tumor, but will do so tomorrow.
Monday rolled around and it doesn't matter if your mom is in the hospital or not, life keeps going with or without you. But with that afternoon of driving Devin, Caden, and myself to the hospital, how grateful I was that I wasn't up in Idaho this semester, but to be home where I was needed most. It was great to see mom, even though she didn't look that great. It was really cool though, that even though she was sedated, we could talk to her or touch her and watch her heart rate go up! I also thought it was amazing as Dad talked to Mom standing on her right side and talking to her. Then he moved over to her left side and began talking to her, as she moved her head to look at him as he spoke to her.
I also had fun Monday night as I had had my constant headache coming up on four days and went out and drank a bit of a caffefine sobe. Leaving me up until about one in the morning. Around midnight, I picked up my phone and called my friend, Patric, and talked to him for about five to ten minutes. I loved it when he picked up the phone and said, "Isn't it past your bedtime?" Laughter and friends, I've found, are some of the greatest things to have. And right now with everything going on, just knowing that my friends are there for me, is certainly something that I need right now. I spend most of my time talking to my friend, Tami, about life and boys and life and boys (lol, you get the point) and my friend, Sam, as I've become vey impressed with his "big word" vocabulary as he understands the "big words" I use to describe my mom's condition.
Update #4 (9/10/08):
Thank you so much for your continued thoughts and prayers on Linda's behalf. Also, thank you for your offers to help our family. One great blessing from all of this has been the fact that our children are not so little now (our youngest, Cade turns 12 next week). Addi is home from college right now and able to help out with getting the boys to where they need to be. I just finished writing our missionary son, Austin (2-1/2 months out in Columbus, OH), about the news. I called his mission president yesterday to give him the heads up and check on Austin after receiving the news.
Linda continues to be on breathing assistance. Although, she was able to breathe on her own for an hour-and-a-half this afternoon and all that effort definitely wore her out. However, this is very good news. The nurse anticipates that Linda will continue to progress and be off the machine hopefully as early as tomorrow. This would mean she would be
out of the ICU by Friday. Her blood pressure and heart rate are normal. Her kidneys are also now functioning well. She was off of sedation for most of the day and alert enough to answer yes and no questions (with a breathing tube, she is not able to talk). Every 10 minutes or so she gets that look in her eyes of, "oh no, what kind of mess am I in?" She is on pain medication, but it is clear that she is in a lot of pain. As a result, before I left tonight, they had put her back under sedation.
It is difficult for me to see her going through this, but comfort has come in a couple of ways. First, there is the bond of love that Linda and I have enjoyed for over 23 years (when I'm around, she always wants me to hold her hand). Second, we share in an understanding of how the Savior, Jesus Christ, has felt all of our pains, and is able to bless us with his compassionate understanding.
The kids visited with Linda today. Of course, they each handle this in their own way. Linda gave a thumbs up to reports of Devin getting himself up and going to seminary each morning, but gave a thumbs down when he said he didn't finish his homework last night. Addi held her hand for a very long-time and hugged on me. Caden wanted to be with her for a long time and together, Linda and Caden shared expressions of love and cried.
Going to visit mom was great again. It's better just to be there with her, to feel that connection. I remember looking at her and saying, "Mom, it's ok." And she replies with shaking her head. "Mom, it's going to be ok." Shakes her head again. "Stop shaking your head at me. I'm right. Everything's going to turn out how's it's supposed to." It was nice to be there for mom's priesthood blessing and hear words from the Lord that this truly is "the Lord's will" and then know that it was all going to be alright.
We did receive the pathology test back telling us that it is cancer. It was originally guessed that it was about the size of a golf ball only to find that it was actually about 4.5 inches in diameter. And the only reason that she had been receiving any kind of pain was because of an infection near by that began leaking into her abdomen.
Update #5 (9/11/08):
The outpouring of love and prayers for Linda and our family is so appreciated. Of course I wish there were more that we all could do. The medical staff has been so great to work patiently with Linda and helpful in answering all of my questions (and believe me, I ask a lot of questions). It has been a real blessing in my life to have such a wonderful wife who seems to leave such a kind and caring impressions with so many people. And in many ways, that blessing is coming back to her now.
Although this illness has come on so suddenly, since moving here to Colorado, she has been fatigued. I believe that once she is free of this cancer, her strength will come back. Of course, she would never complain to anyone. Which in some ways, may have hid the cancer for a while.
Yes, it is hard for our family to not have Linda home right now. This probably is no more evident than when we read scriptures and pray together in the evening. Not only is it a big spiritual high for our family, but (and don't let this disappoint anyone) we also often end up off-topic - and really enjoy laughing together. We are fortunate that right now that our good friends the Mero's let our kids hang out each evening - that time always gives us a time to laugh together.
They tried to wean Linda off of the breathing-assist machine again today. This morning she didn't do so well - she would get panicky and her heart rate would shoot up. This afternoon she did much better. Unlike yesterday where she was in the "what has happened to me mode", she was much more in the "okay, I'm ready to move on" mode. I've had my good friend, Joe Mero with me in the afternoons, when he gets off work. Linda tried to communicate something to both of us today, and when we didn't get it, she raised her arms up and rolled her eyes as if to say, "when I can talk, I'll let you know and you'll realize how silly you are". Believe me, she rolled her eyes so much, I told her they would stick in that position.
Hopefully tomorrow, she will be totally weaned off the machine. Until then there is other good news. She is being fed some food through a tube to her stomach. Not to get too detailed, but Linda's new plumbing is working. She was moderately sedated today and given pain killers - which helps me, because I hate to see her in pain. She was able to
urinate a lot today, which I'm told is a good sign that she has turned the corner on recovery.
She is still in the ICU. If you would like to send a card (no flowers for now) please mail it to our home: 26095 E Euclid Dr, Aurora, CO, 80016.
As a family, we had decided to continue having our meals (mainly dinner) at the Meros since being at home without Mom there is just plain depressing. But it's nice to know that Mom still has her sense of humor. As one day Dad kissed her forehead and Big Joe (Mero) asked Dad if he'd do that to him if he's ever in the hospital. Dad replied with a "yes" and Mom strictly shook her head, as if to say, I don't think so.
Update #6 (9/12/08):
They took a CT scan of Linda's lungs and abdomen today. There were 2 concerns. First, that she had internal bleeding because she has lost blood. The scan showed no signs of bleeding and the doctor said that the loss was more likely due to the body just not replenishing her supply. She received 2 pints of blood. Second, they were concerned about her inability to be weaned off of the respirator. The scan showed that her right lung is mostly collapsed and her left lung is partially collapsed due to lots of fluid around her lungs. They drained off the
fluid around her right lung and hope that this will help her to breathe on her own. They won't drain the fluid around the left lung unless they have to. In addition to the CT scan, they took a number of x-rays for various reasons. I can tell you that Linda looked very tired by the end of the evening, but was resting in the ICU again tonight.
Linda's brother, Alan, was able to make a layover on his flight back home to Boston. It was wonderful to visit with him (for my sanity sake) and to have him spend time with his sister. I think Alan was still a little surprised to see his sister with so many different devices and tubes running around her.
Please continue to keep Linda in your prayers. Thank you so much for your love and support. For our many LDS church friends, thank you for placing Linda's name on the prayer rolls of the temple. I have never felt more dependent on the Lord's help than at this time.
Devin had decided that he was in charge on Wednesday (I'm getting my days all mixed up!). But I was very thankful that he had told me to go straight to the hospital from school as I got to spend a lot of cool time with mom. But on Friday, I went and spent some time with Mom at the hospital. I was so tired that I took a chair, the little "desk", and a pillow in Mom's room and fell asleep in a very uncomfortable situation. And the doctor relieved Mom of about 900 ccs (about a quart) of excess fluid and today they're going to try and take her off the ventilator. So we'll just have to wait and see.
Ok, I've tired of typing and thinking and blah! So I'll let y'all know when there's more.
Later!
intestine called the cecum. We will not know for sure if it is until the pathologist comes back with a report on Monday or Tuesday. They also removed some other tissue around the area to biopsy that if it is cancerous, how much it has spread. Right now the doctor feels 99% sure it is cancer, but that they were able to remove it all. She is now back
in the ICU. She is sedated and won't be awake until tomorrow.
It was very difficult to perceive our mother with having problems. The morning of the surgery (Saturday) Devin, Caden, myself, and our family friends' kids, Hannah, and Emma went out to breakfast at Village Inn. It was only about seven in the morning. None of us had really received much sleep from the night before. We've still all have our sense of humor around as our waitress heard that our mom was in the hospital and asked, "Is she ok?" After leaving us, Devin replied with, "She's in the hospital and you're asking if she's ok?!" And we all laughed. After breakfast we went to the big park near our house and hung out there for a time ridding ourselves of our leftover energy. Oh and did I mention that we were all pretty much either in our pjs or sweats with the 'just-rolled-out-of-bed' look surrounding us. Only to return to our house and everyone sleeping in their own appointed place in the house. Dad came home that night just to tell us that there wasn't much of a point of us kids going to see mom as she's so sedated and incoherent.
Update #2 (9/7/08):
Just a quick update tonight. Not much changed today. Linda is still in the ICU and on a ventilator. She is under heavy sedation. Her blood pressure is lower than what it should be so they are working to bring that up. I spent most of the day at the hospital, and most of this evening on the phone.
Thank you to all those who are including Linda in your prayers. We can really use them right now. As I see it, there are 2 things going on - first do get her through this initial recovery from surgery and her being very sick and second, dealing with what looks to be like cancer.
So Sunday was an interesting day. I'm not one to show emotion around people (mainly sad/depressing emotions). I woke up and went to the Single's Ward at nine and all through Relief Society, I was leaning on my friend, Lisa, crying. When I was asked what was wrong, I couldn't even say, "My mom's in the hospital." without sobbing. Bro. Snelgrove of the bishopic gave me a comfort blessing that helped very much so. I then decided that I was going to go be with my family. Oh how that blessing helped me as the family ward members began asking the same questions several times over and I never shed a single tear!
Our phone liked to ring a lot too. I was usually the only person home, so I just never picked it up. In all honesty, I was just too lazy to. And since about Mon-Wed, our phone hardly ever rings anymore. And the people who we're fine with talking to know already how to reach us, since we're hardly ever home anyways.
Update #3 (9/8/08):
Not much to update you on tonight. Linda continues to recover in the ICU. Because she is not able to be weaned off of the ventilator, she will probably be in the ICU for another 2 or 3 days. Her blood pressureis back to normal. She is still sedated and only to really nod her head to simple questions. Addi, Devin and Caden came to the hospital to see Linda (post-surgery) for the first time this evening. Linda's nurse was very helpful in answering all of their questions. We did not get the pathology back on the tumor, but will do so tomorrow.
Monday rolled around and it doesn't matter if your mom is in the hospital or not, life keeps going with or without you. But with that afternoon of driving Devin, Caden, and myself to the hospital, how grateful I was that I wasn't up in Idaho this semester, but to be home where I was needed most. It was great to see mom, even though she didn't look that great. It was really cool though, that even though she was sedated, we could talk to her or touch her and watch her heart rate go up! I also thought it was amazing as Dad talked to Mom standing on her right side and talking to her. Then he moved over to her left side and began talking to her, as she moved her head to look at him as he spoke to her.
I also had fun Monday night as I had had my constant headache coming up on four days and went out and drank a bit of a caffefine sobe. Leaving me up until about one in the morning. Around midnight, I picked up my phone and called my friend, Patric, and talked to him for about five to ten minutes. I loved it when he picked up the phone and said, "Isn't it past your bedtime?" Laughter and friends, I've found, are some of the greatest things to have. And right now with everything going on, just knowing that my friends are there for me, is certainly something that I need right now. I spend most of my time talking to my friend, Tami, about life and boys and life and boys (lol, you get the point) and my friend, Sam, as I've become vey impressed with his "big word" vocabulary as he understands the "big words" I use to describe my mom's condition.
Update #4 (9/10/08):
Thank you so much for your continued thoughts and prayers on Linda's behalf. Also, thank you for your offers to help our family. One great blessing from all of this has been the fact that our children are not so little now (our youngest, Cade turns 12 next week). Addi is home from college right now and able to help out with getting the boys to where they need to be. I just finished writing our missionary son, Austin (2-1/2 months out in Columbus, OH), about the news. I called his mission president yesterday to give him the heads up and check on Austin after receiving the news.
Linda continues to be on breathing assistance. Although, she was able to breathe on her own for an hour-and-a-half this afternoon and all that effort definitely wore her out. However, this is very good news. The nurse anticipates that Linda will continue to progress and be off the machine hopefully as early as tomorrow. This would mean she would be
out of the ICU by Friday. Her blood pressure and heart rate are normal. Her kidneys are also now functioning well. She was off of sedation for most of the day and alert enough to answer yes and no questions (with a breathing tube, she is not able to talk). Every 10 minutes or so she gets that look in her eyes of, "oh no, what kind of mess am I in?" She is on pain medication, but it is clear that she is in a lot of pain. As a result, before I left tonight, they had put her back under sedation.
It is difficult for me to see her going through this, but comfort has come in a couple of ways. First, there is the bond of love that Linda and I have enjoyed for over 23 years (when I'm around, she always wants me to hold her hand). Second, we share in an understanding of how the Savior, Jesus Christ, has felt all of our pains, and is able to bless us with his compassionate understanding.
The kids visited with Linda today. Of course, they each handle this in their own way. Linda gave a thumbs up to reports of Devin getting himself up and going to seminary each morning, but gave a thumbs down when he said he didn't finish his homework last night. Addi held her hand for a very long-time and hugged on me. Caden wanted to be with her for a long time and together, Linda and Caden shared expressions of love and cried.
Going to visit mom was great again. It's better just to be there with her, to feel that connection. I remember looking at her and saying, "Mom, it's ok." And she replies with shaking her head. "Mom, it's going to be ok." Shakes her head again. "Stop shaking your head at me. I'm right. Everything's going to turn out how's it's supposed to." It was nice to be there for mom's priesthood blessing and hear words from the Lord that this truly is "the Lord's will" and then know that it was all going to be alright.
We did receive the pathology test back telling us that it is cancer. It was originally guessed that it was about the size of a golf ball only to find that it was actually about 4.5 inches in diameter. And the only reason that she had been receiving any kind of pain was because of an infection near by that began leaking into her abdomen.
Update #5 (9/11/08):
The outpouring of love and prayers for Linda and our family is so appreciated. Of course I wish there were more that we all could do. The medical staff has been so great to work patiently with Linda and helpful in answering all of my questions (and believe me, I ask a lot of questions). It has been a real blessing in my life to have such a wonderful wife who seems to leave such a kind and caring impressions with so many people. And in many ways, that blessing is coming back to her now.
Although this illness has come on so suddenly, since moving here to Colorado, she has been fatigued. I believe that once she is free of this cancer, her strength will come back. Of course, she would never complain to anyone. Which in some ways, may have hid the cancer for a while.
Yes, it is hard for our family to not have Linda home right now. This probably is no more evident than when we read scriptures and pray together in the evening. Not only is it a big spiritual high for our family, but (and don't let this disappoint anyone) we also often end up off-topic - and really enjoy laughing together. We are fortunate that right now that our good friends the Mero's let our kids hang out each evening - that time always gives us a time to laugh together.
They tried to wean Linda off of the breathing-assist machine again today. This morning she didn't do so well - she would get panicky and her heart rate would shoot up. This afternoon she did much better. Unlike yesterday where she was in the "what has happened to me mode", she was much more in the "okay, I'm ready to move on" mode. I've had my good friend, Joe Mero with me in the afternoons, when he gets off work. Linda tried to communicate something to both of us today, and when we didn't get it, she raised her arms up and rolled her eyes as if to say, "when I can talk, I'll let you know and you'll realize how silly you are". Believe me, she rolled her eyes so much, I told her they would stick in that position.
Hopefully tomorrow, she will be totally weaned off the machine. Until then there is other good news. She is being fed some food through a tube to her stomach. Not to get too detailed, but Linda's new plumbing is working. She was moderately sedated today and given pain killers - which helps me, because I hate to see her in pain. She was able to
urinate a lot today, which I'm told is a good sign that she has turned the corner on recovery.
She is still in the ICU. If you would like to send a card (no flowers for now) please mail it to our home: 26095 E Euclid Dr, Aurora, CO, 80016.
As a family, we had decided to continue having our meals (mainly dinner) at the Meros since being at home without Mom there is just plain depressing. But it's nice to know that Mom still has her sense of humor. As one day Dad kissed her forehead and Big Joe (Mero) asked Dad if he'd do that to him if he's ever in the hospital. Dad replied with a "yes" and Mom strictly shook her head, as if to say, I don't think so.
Update #6 (9/12/08):
They took a CT scan of Linda's lungs and abdomen today. There were 2 concerns. First, that she had internal bleeding because she has lost blood. The scan showed no signs of bleeding and the doctor said that the loss was more likely due to the body just not replenishing her supply. She received 2 pints of blood. Second, they were concerned about her inability to be weaned off of the respirator. The scan showed that her right lung is mostly collapsed and her left lung is partially collapsed due to lots of fluid around her lungs. They drained off the
fluid around her right lung and hope that this will help her to breathe on her own. They won't drain the fluid around the left lung unless they have to. In addition to the CT scan, they took a number of x-rays for various reasons. I can tell you that Linda looked very tired by the end of the evening, but was resting in the ICU again tonight.
Linda's brother, Alan, was able to make a layover on his flight back home to Boston. It was wonderful to visit with him (for my sanity sake) and to have him spend time with his sister. I think Alan was still a little surprised to see his sister with so many different devices and tubes running around her.
Please continue to keep Linda in your prayers. Thank you so much for your love and support. For our many LDS church friends, thank you for placing Linda's name on the prayer rolls of the temple. I have never felt more dependent on the Lord's help than at this time.
Devin had decided that he was in charge on Wednesday (I'm getting my days all mixed up!). But I was very thankful that he had told me to go straight to the hospital from school as I got to spend a lot of cool time with mom. But on Friday, I went and spent some time with Mom at the hospital. I was so tired that I took a chair, the little "desk", and a pillow in Mom's room and fell asleep in a very uncomfortable situation. And the doctor relieved Mom of about 900 ccs (about a quart) of excess fluid and today they're going to try and take her off the ventilator. So we'll just have to wait and see.
Ok, I've tired of typing and thinking and blah! So I'll let y'all know when there's more.
Later!
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Mirrors
Everyday, every morning, any chance that we can get. We'll make sure we look good in the mirror. It tells us what we look like at that moment. No past reflection nor future sights. Only the present. But the day will come when we take a second look at the person staring back at us.
They're grown. They're older, more mature. That the person we're looking at, seemingly, isn't you. You have to take another look, a longer look. And as we look we find ourselves contemplating life and everything we've been through. The hardships, the losses, the good times, the happy moments that still make us smile. Then we begin to think about the things we're going through now. School, friends, work, life's road and it's complicated map. And to bring our thinking to a close, our futures. The possibilities, our future families, our future selves.
We stare close into the eyes of this person staring back at us. Surprised by the events that we've lived through throughout our lives and wondering if we'll ever make it to through the events that have yet to come. But as we continue to look at those eyes, those eyes that have seen what we've seen, we come to the conclusion even though we don't seem the same on the outside nor the inside. We are still we. We are still the same little child that our parents brought into this world and raised. We are stronger, we are weaker. We are the same, we are different. We are becoming what we're supposed to be.
You can't help but smile. Yes, a few wounds you may carry, but you don't look to shabby.
You have grown. You are older, more mature.
You are the reflection staring back at you.
And as you pass by that mirror everyday, you'll always be able to see the progress that you make as you travel that complicated map.
For as much as we sometimes hate it. Mirrors cannot and will not lie.
They're grown. They're older, more mature. That the person we're looking at, seemingly, isn't you. You have to take another look, a longer look. And as we look we find ourselves contemplating life and everything we've been through. The hardships, the losses, the good times, the happy moments that still make us smile. Then we begin to think about the things we're going through now. School, friends, work, life's road and it's complicated map. And to bring our thinking to a close, our futures. The possibilities, our future families, our future selves.
We stare close into the eyes of this person staring back at us. Surprised by the events that we've lived through throughout our lives and wondering if we'll ever make it to through the events that have yet to come. But as we continue to look at those eyes, those eyes that have seen what we've seen, we come to the conclusion even though we don't seem the same on the outside nor the inside. We are still we. We are still the same little child that our parents brought into this world and raised. We are stronger, we are weaker. We are the same, we are different. We are becoming what we're supposed to be.
You can't help but smile. Yes, a few wounds you may carry, but you don't look to shabby.
You have grown. You are older, more mature.
You are the reflection staring back at you.
And as you pass by that mirror everyday, you'll always be able to see the progress that you make as you travel that complicated map.
For as much as we sometimes hate it. Mirrors cannot and will not lie.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Memories/Misc
Emerson Drive - Moments
Trace Adkins - You're Gonna Miss This
I remember when my parents were still working on our big house in Springwater, Georgia. My brothers and I would curl up on the couch in what later became the storage area and watched movies while our parents worked on the house. We'd fall asleep on that couch and then wake up enough to move to the car and fall back to sleep. I'm sure the day is going to come when I'll be the parent working on the house and my kids will be sleeping on the couch in the dusty storage area. And I'll look at them and think of my days when I was like that.
Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way
"We pretty much don't understand you 99% of the time, but we still care." - Tami
Danity Kane - Stay With Me
"Yes, I can live without you. I can go throughout life without you. I just choose not to." - Movie: Rumor Has It
Trace Adkins - You're Gonna Miss This
I remember when my parents were still working on our big house in Springwater, Georgia. My brothers and I would curl up on the couch in what later became the storage area and watched movies while our parents worked on the house. We'd fall asleep on that couch and then wake up enough to move to the car and fall back to sleep. I'm sure the day is going to come when I'll be the parent working on the house and my kids will be sleeping on the couch in the dusty storage area. And I'll look at them and think of my days when I was like that.
Jordan Hill - Remember Me This Way
"We pretty much don't understand you 99% of the time, but we still care." - Tami
Danity Kane - Stay With Me
"Yes, I can live without you. I can go throughout life without you. I just choose not to." - Movie: Rumor Has It
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Judgmentality
So within the church we talk about how nonmembers are always questioning what we believe. As a large population of the church, we all band together against them and stand strong. However, within ourselves, we question each others' beliefs. Or when people say that they know things about their lives, past, present, or future. Those few are then questioned on how or why it seems to be true to them. Instead of trying to explain it, it may be better just to answer with a question, like, "Well, how do you know that the church is true?"
I've met very few people who don't question such things in my life, and it's easy to know why. They've either gone through enough or seen enough in other people's lives to know not to question such things. It could also be that people question because they're jealous that they don't get know how similar things for their life. Trust me, be grateful that you don't know. It's a bigger responsibility than people realize. But it's still an amazing blessing.
I've met very few people who don't question such things in my life, and it's easy to know why. They've either gone through enough or seen enough in other people's lives to know not to question such things. It could also be that people question because they're jealous that they don't get know how similar things for their life. Trust me, be grateful that you don't know. It's a bigger responsibility than people realize. But it's still an amazing blessing.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Changes (Part I)
So how is life you may ask?
I am currently curled up with the laptop typing this, still in my pjs, eating dried apricots (wouldn't Carissa be proud?!), and watching The Perfect Man. I've seen it before, but love it! It's about this single mom and her two daughters. The oldest of the two daughters begins to make up this "perfect man" as her mom has constantly made them move as she gets her heart broken throughout life. It's not your normal romance movie. It's not about finding the "perfect man" but more about how you don't need a man to be happy and how you shouldn't run when life gets tough or you get hurt.
Living in Colorado isn't a dream come true. I spend most of my days either working in the photography studio or doing much to nothing at home. I've been attending my family's ward for about a year now. In January I was given a calling in the Primary as a CTR 6 teacher. With school less than a month away (yes I'm attending here in Colorado, again!) it became an idea to leave the family ward and be with people my own age. The hard part for me would be to leave the kids in my class. Yesterday brought about a turn of events. A member of the Primary Presidency called me to tell me that they're separating my class into two smaller classes. It just felt like things were falling into place. I went to the Singles' Ward last Sunday only to realize that although it may feel weird that this is where I'm supposed to be. So changing wards hasn't turned into such a big deal.
I am currently curled up with the laptop typing this, still in my pjs, eating dried apricots (wouldn't Carissa be proud?!), and watching The Perfect Man. I've seen it before, but love it! It's about this single mom and her two daughters. The oldest of the two daughters begins to make up this "perfect man" as her mom has constantly made them move as she gets her heart broken throughout life. It's not your normal romance movie. It's not about finding the "perfect man" but more about how you don't need a man to be happy and how you shouldn't run when life gets tough or you get hurt.
Living in Colorado isn't a dream come true. I spend most of my days either working in the photography studio or doing much to nothing at home. I've been attending my family's ward for about a year now. In January I was given a calling in the Primary as a CTR 6 teacher. With school less than a month away (yes I'm attending here in Colorado, again!) it became an idea to leave the family ward and be with people my own age. The hard part for me would be to leave the kids in my class. Yesterday brought about a turn of events. A member of the Primary Presidency called me to tell me that they're separating my class into two smaller classes. It just felt like things were falling into place. I went to the Singles' Ward last Sunday only to realize that although it may feel weird that this is where I'm supposed to be. So changing wards hasn't turned into such a big deal.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Finding Myself
So yes, I just finished watching a movie. P.S. I Love You to be exact. I was told that if I wanted to cry that this is the movie to watch. I didn't cry, but lately everything has given me a different perspective.
I've been trying to decide what to do with my life for this fall. I have to go back to school this fall just to stay on my parents insurance. After thinking about it, I decided that it would probably be better for me to be here in Colorado. As much as I don't like it here, I know that it's better for me. I'll be going to school back down in Littleton and then I'll be working to earn money for school and such for the next year. Watch, I'll probably give myself an early Christmas present and buy my pretty little laptop for myself! LOL!
Austin keeps telling me to be productive. I'll be taking my English class again. I just didn't do well with it this term. Too much going on in life, and in my mind! That's not helpful at all!
But I've learned that I need to find myself more. I used to be this crazy fun little girl who didn't let anything in the world stop her from dreaming and making her dreams come true! I want to be that same little girl again, just a little bit more grown up! That's a part of me that I've missed since the years ago that my world came crashing down. Plus, I'm sure that there are still plenty of things the Lord would like to teach me, as long as I'm paying attention.
I've been trying to decide what to do with my life for this fall. I have to go back to school this fall just to stay on my parents insurance. After thinking about it, I decided that it would probably be better for me to be here in Colorado. As much as I don't like it here, I know that it's better for me. I'll be going to school back down in Littleton and then I'll be working to earn money for school and such for the next year. Watch, I'll probably give myself an early Christmas present and buy my pretty little laptop for myself! LOL!
Austin keeps telling me to be productive. I'll be taking my English class again. I just didn't do well with it this term. Too much going on in life, and in my mind! That's not helpful at all!
But I've learned that I need to find myself more. I used to be this crazy fun little girl who didn't let anything in the world stop her from dreaming and making her dreams come true! I want to be that same little girl again, just a little bit more grown up! That's a part of me that I've missed since the years ago that my world came crashing down. Plus, I'm sure that there are still plenty of things the Lord would like to teach me, as long as I'm paying attention.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Some of my Favorite Temple Pictures
Atlanta Georgia Temple 1
Atlanta Georgia Temple 2
Bountiful Utah Temple 1
Bountiful Utah Temple 2
Chicago Illinois Temple
Columbia River Washington Temple 1
Columbia River Washington Temple 2
Columbus Ohio Temple
Denver Colorado Temple
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 1
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 2
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 3
Madrid Spain Temple
Manti Utah Temple
Melbourne Australia Temple
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 1
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 2
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 3
Palmyra New York Temple
Provo Utah Temple
Rexburg Idaho Temple 1
Rexburg Idaho Temple 2
Rexburg Idaho Temple 3
St. George Utah Temple 1
St. George Utah Temple 2
Salt Lake City Utah Temple 1
Salt Lake City Utah Temple 2
Seattle Washington Temple 1
Seattle Washington Temple 2
Snowflake Arizona Temple
Winter Quarters Nebraska Temple
Washington, D.C. Temple
Atlanta Georgia Temple 2
Bountiful Utah Temple 1
Bountiful Utah Temple 2
Chicago Illinois Temple
Columbia River Washington Temple 1
Columbia River Washington Temple 2
Columbus Ohio Temple
Denver Colorado Temple
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 1
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 2
Idaho Falls Idaho Temple 3
Madrid Spain Temple
Manti Utah Temple
Melbourne Australia Temple
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 1
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 2
Nauvoo Illinois Temple 3
Palmyra New York Temple
Provo Utah Temple
Rexburg Idaho Temple 1
Rexburg Idaho Temple 2
Rexburg Idaho Temple 3
St. George Utah Temple 1
St. George Utah Temple 2
Salt Lake City Utah Temple 1
Salt Lake City Utah Temple 2
Seattle Washington Temple 1
Seattle Washington Temple 2
Snowflake Arizona Temple
Winter Quarters Nebraska Temple
Washington, D.C. Temple
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Battle at Kruger
It's a battle for a baby water buffalo between a herd of water buffalo, a pride of lions, and crocodiles. It's pretty interesting! It's really long though, fyi.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
"Stuck on You"
**Quoted from my journal**
I was once told by a friend's roommate that we may think we've found that we may think we've found the best guy ever but it's usually then that we find someone even better! So even if we think we've found the best person for ourselves, there might be someone even better for us out there!
So even if [his] sources say that I'm pretty stuck on him. I'm not going to wait around for him! I could find someone better than him!...My point is that I'm not going to stick myself to him and only him when there are other guys out there!
And lastly, I don't appreciate people labeling me as such. [Whoever isn't] very involved in my life, otherwise they'd already know this.
An old roommate of mine even told me not to rule anything possibilities out. She met her husband through a friend that set her up on a blind date. Now she's happily married and pregnant with their first!
But I do wish that people would assume me to be the same crazy girl I once was. I'm growing up and I hope that whoever is telling people that I'm "stuck on them" would grow up too!
I was once told by a friend's roommate that we may think we've found that we may think we've found the best guy ever but it's usually then that we find someone even better! So even if we think we've found the best person for ourselves, there might be someone even better for us out there!
So even if [his] sources say that I'm pretty stuck on him. I'm not going to wait around for him! I could find someone better than him!...My point is that I'm not going to stick myself to him and only him when there are other guys out there!
And lastly, I don't appreciate people labeling me as such. [Whoever isn't] very involved in my life, otherwise they'd already know this.
An old roommate of mine even told me not to rule anything possibilities out. She met her husband through a friend that set her up on a blind date. Now she's happily married and pregnant with their first!
But I do wish that people would assume me to be the same crazy girl I once was. I'm growing up and I hope that whoever is telling people that I'm "stuck on them" would grow up too!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
True Colors By Phil Collins + Lyrics
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness, inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
[intru part]
So sad eyes
Discouraged now
Realize
When this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors, true colors
Cos there's a shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors, true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Beautiful, like a rainbow
Thrown for a loop
So I know that I'm not perfect. With recent events I've come to definitely acknowledge things about myself. I'm definitely one of those people who is afraid of commitment. I think I've always liked the idea of a long distance relationship because I know that it would never work. But I've gotten hurt too many times and people leave me too many times. I have a hard time trusting people and I always feel like that when I do the bottom falls out from under me. But as a "protection reaction" I do whatever I can to push people away because I don't expect them to stick around for forever. But life has thrown me for a loop. I have a friend that I don't want to lose, I expect him/her to leave, but they just won't! I don't want them to leave but I'm so afraid of getting hurt. I'm already in deeper than I ever planned to be. I figured I'd be this deep maybe like next year or something if anything happened.
Life is only complicated if you let it be. But sometimes life throws you things that you just don't feel ready for.
But I guess that's why He throws it at us. Because we feel we're not ready, we're more cautious with it.
Just some random videos
You Should Have Lied
Don't Make Me
My December
Life is only complicated if you let it be. But sometimes life throws you things that you just don't feel ready for.
But I guess that's why He throws it at us. Because we feel we're not ready, we're more cautious with it.
Just some random videos
You Should Have Lied
Don't Make Me
My December
Friday, June 27, 2008
Priorities
So it's only been a few hours and it's so much harder than I thought it would be! I've got my priorities a little bit - ok A LOT - screwed up! I know I need to take a chill pill and take the time to fix it all. I know that the time and space will be helpful, however I hate the feeling that I'm kinda getting because of it. I know that it all sounds vague, but it's pretty personal stuff.
So y'all don't completely freak, I'll give y'all a little heads up. I decided to take a break and try and figure out MY life. While in the process, I told Patric that I needed some space. I needed to think some things over that do involve him in my life and such. [It's pretty hard not talking to him. It's only been a few hours and I already miss him more than I usually do. I know that most of y'all are going to think that this is so weird, or I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not in a great mood about when people say that kind of crap, so I'm just going to tell you that if you have a problem with any of that to shove it up! After that little side note] I told him that it could take any where from a day or two to a few months. No one really knows. However, he told me to take as much time as I needed. Neither one of us wants to screw up this relationship that we do have.
We really do care about each other. I'm taking a break cause I care about him. He's giving me as much time as possible cause he cares about me. Funny how things work out, huh?
Well I got to go to work soon and I still have plenty to do including going to get food for myself! I'll keep y'all posted!
~Addison
So y'all don't completely freak, I'll give y'all a little heads up. I decided to take a break and try and figure out MY life. While in the process, I told Patric that I needed some space. I needed to think some things over that do involve him in my life and such. [It's pretty hard not talking to him. It's only been a few hours and I already miss him more than I usually do. I know that most of y'all are going to think that this is so weird, or I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm not in a great mood about when people say that kind of crap, so I'm just going to tell you that if you have a problem with any of that to shove it up! After that little side note] I told him that it could take any where from a day or two to a few months. No one really knows. However, he told me to take as much time as I needed. Neither one of us wants to screw up this relationship that we do have.
We really do care about each other. I'm taking a break cause I care about him. He's giving me as much time as possible cause he cares about me. Funny how things work out, huh?
Well I got to go to work soon and I still have plenty to do including going to get food for myself! I'll keep y'all posted!
~Addison
Taking Care Of Me
I don't have a lot of time. I have to leave for work like right now. But life has brought about past experiences. Don't you just love that?! So I'm pretty much taking a break from some things to put life back into perspective. But for right now I think I really need a girls' night. I do have a few friends here in Colorado. I should spend some time with them. Work on just working. Work on my English class work. Work on just taking care of myself. No one else, just me.
So here's the beginning of Addison just taking care of Addison.
So here's the beginning of Addison just taking care of Addison.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
MFR 2008 in a Nut Shell
So I figured that it was time to update y'all again. I know it's been a while but I had a good excuse!
I was at my family reunion. It was a lot of fun. I surprisingly learned a few things about myself while I was there. And I got sick while I was there. And big surprise, I'm still sick. So my mom and I get to have fun for a while and be sick together! Not cool!
So I did some pretty cool stuff while I was at the reunion. I started painting this ceramic fairy but lost my patience with it. But I did start and finish my little penguin buddy in less than an hour. It's amazing! (pictures later) I chilled with my family during the week. I'm pretty close with (I'd say) Liz, Emily, and cousin-in-law, Mike. Now cause I was sick at the reunion, I got a lot of alone time with my journal. I've actually had this journal since about high school time, and I'm more than ecstatic to say that it's almost completely full! But I've gotten about halfway through Eclipse while I was there. But I did take the time and go shopping downtown despite me not feeling all that well.
Even after most of us said our goodbyes, my dad, myself, Liz, Aunt Christine, Reanna, Mike, Becky, and Steven, we all went boating on Estes Lake. Even before we got out into the lake. I went to go use the bathroom, well there's something to understand first of all. The boating place had these wooden planks nailed into the ground. Well, Aunt Christine said something and I turned to look at her, not knowing that the planks were there. You can pretty much know what happened next. I tripped on one of the planks and completely CRASHED AND BURNED!!! I pretty much scratched up my right side of my leg. Mainly around my ankle, my knee, and took a bunch of layers from my right palm (hand). I actually did try to clean up as best as I could but could most definitely feel the dirt and crap in my hand (which caused A LOT of pain!).
Well I finally did get out in the water (in the boat) with my family. And yes, my family freaked when they saw how bad I was beat up; they felt pretty bad. We got out into the water and everyone was taking a chance driving the boat. Aunt Christine apparently decided to sink the boat. So you've got water coming into the boat from the front and everyone running to the back of the boat tipping the weight and Mike turned the "gas" off to stop us from falling into the water! Best of all, Steven got it all on tape! After the boat ride, Dad and I went to lunch at The Other Side. It was really good!
Dad drove the rental car down and I pretty much slept the whole time. That's my inertial reaction when I have a "long" car ride. Usually anything longer than an hour or so.
But I got back to Denver and my friend, Hannah, cleaned out my hand for me. That was so painful! It actually got to the point where Emma came over to hold my hand. She told me drop my phone, stop texting, and hold her hand. Only then I started freaking out even more. Hannah then stops, and tells Emma to let go of my hand and let me text because it's distracting me more than holding Emma's hand. Emma then tells me to think of puppies and I tell her that I'm thinking of something much better than that! Well now it's all clean, but it's still sore and a little bit painful. I have bruises near my right hip and around my right knee. So I'm going to try to cover up as much as possible tomorrow for church. If I even feel up to going to church tomorrow.
Because I'm sick, it's screwed up my whole sleep schedule. So last night I didn't get to sleep until about 4:30 AM. So I'm sleeping down on the couch tonight (I don't have coughing fits as much if I'm more head elevated). So yeah, it's almost two in the morning and I'm wide awake with my brain still totally running as much as it would for a normal person at about three in the afternoon-ish.
Well as much as I am very much awake, I'm going to leave this post as is.
Laterz Peoples!
I was at my family reunion. It was a lot of fun. I surprisingly learned a few things about myself while I was there. And I got sick while I was there. And big surprise, I'm still sick. So my mom and I get to have fun for a while and be sick together! Not cool!
So I did some pretty cool stuff while I was at the reunion. I started painting this ceramic fairy but lost my patience with it. But I did start and finish my little penguin buddy in less than an hour. It's amazing! (pictures later) I chilled with my family during the week. I'm pretty close with (I'd say) Liz, Emily, and cousin-in-law, Mike. Now cause I was sick at the reunion, I got a lot of alone time with my journal. I've actually had this journal since about high school time, and I'm more than ecstatic to say that it's almost completely full! But I've gotten about halfway through Eclipse while I was there. But I did take the time and go shopping downtown despite me not feeling all that well.
Even after most of us said our goodbyes, my dad, myself, Liz, Aunt Christine, Reanna, Mike, Becky, and Steven, we all went boating on Estes Lake. Even before we got out into the lake. I went to go use the bathroom, well there's something to understand first of all. The boating place had these wooden planks nailed into the ground. Well, Aunt Christine said something and I turned to look at her, not knowing that the planks were there. You can pretty much know what happened next. I tripped on one of the planks and completely CRASHED AND BURNED!!! I pretty much scratched up my right side of my leg. Mainly around my ankle, my knee, and took a bunch of layers from my right palm (hand). I actually did try to clean up as best as I could but could most definitely feel the dirt and crap in my hand (which caused A LOT of pain!).
Well I finally did get out in the water (in the boat) with my family. And yes, my family freaked when they saw how bad I was beat up; they felt pretty bad. We got out into the water and everyone was taking a chance driving the boat. Aunt Christine apparently decided to sink the boat. So you've got water coming into the boat from the front and everyone running to the back of the boat tipping the weight and Mike turned the "gas" off to stop us from falling into the water! Best of all, Steven got it all on tape! After the boat ride, Dad and I went to lunch at The Other Side. It was really good!
Dad drove the rental car down and I pretty much slept the whole time. That's my inertial reaction when I have a "long" car ride. Usually anything longer than an hour or so.
But I got back to Denver and my friend, Hannah, cleaned out my hand for me. That was so painful! It actually got to the point where Emma came over to hold my hand. She told me drop my phone, stop texting, and hold her hand. Only then I started freaking out even more. Hannah then stops, and tells Emma to let go of my hand and let me text because it's distracting me more than holding Emma's hand. Emma then tells me to think of puppies and I tell her that I'm thinking of something much better than that! Well now it's all clean, but it's still sore and a little bit painful. I have bruises near my right hip and around my right knee. So I'm going to try to cover up as much as possible tomorrow for church. If I even feel up to going to church tomorrow.
Because I'm sick, it's screwed up my whole sleep schedule. So last night I didn't get to sleep until about 4:30 AM. So I'm sleeping down on the couch tonight (I don't have coughing fits as much if I'm more head elevated). So yeah, it's almost two in the morning and I'm wide awake with my brain still totally running as much as it would for a normal person at about three in the afternoon-ish.
Well as much as I am very much awake, I'm going to leave this post as is.
Laterz Peoples!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Charmed Quote
"...you were promised something. Something that means the world to you and you're afraid you might not get it..."
-Charmed Season 8 Ep. 9
-Charmed Season 8 Ep. 9
"Just Friends"
So as usual, I'm at work. Chilling on the internet as another computer is burning CDs and I'm listening to music from my cell phone. Well when I get bored I have a little bit of a "system" of things to look at.
1. Facebook
2. Myspace
3. Friends' Blogs
4. Friends' Pictures Albums
5. Blog
6. Email
Well I was just looking at Pat's pictures and have found that I have "favorites". Ones that just, mainly, make me laugh.
But yesterday, I went to my mom and said, "I can now officially say that Pat and I are just friends!" So yes, we're "just friends". To the people who have been keeping up in my life: Sound familiar? Yes, it's the same phrase that I have with Sam. Oh joy! One of these days I'm going to get pretty tired of always being some guys "just friend". Thank goodness that day isn't today. Sad day to any guys who have insisted on being "just friends", when that day comes, I'm most likely going to blow up and "hate" everyone of those guys. But until that sad, dreaded day comes life's pretty good.
I was texting Pat last night and decided to text Sam cause I hadn't talked to him for some time. Too much time focused on Pat (not a good idea). Well, you can get an idea of what happened with Pat and Sam being roommates chilling in their apartment together. You can also probably get an idea of the fun that I then had. I went into Pat's-jealous-of-Sam little bit and kissing-Sam's-poor-break-up-with-one-week-girlfriend-broken-heart bit with Sam. To telling Pat that's he's not the lady's man, Sam is and that Pat thinks Sam is his type! As well, I had fun. I later told Pat that the main reason to keep guys around is just to flirt with them. He then presided to tell me that I was, thus, a "user". Need I remind him that he doesn't just flirt with the girls, but goes a step further! LOL!
No. Pat's a good guy. He's loads of fun. Just within a few minutes you can learn more about a person that you thought you would. I think we're more alike than either of us perceived. I think the best thing I've ever heard him say is, "I do understand the not understanding thing."
My friends are AMAZING people! (That pretty much goes for anyone I call a friend!)
1. Facebook
2. Myspace
3. Friends' Blogs
4. Friends' Pictures Albums
5. Blog
6. Email
Well I was just looking at Pat's pictures and have found that I have "favorites". Ones that just, mainly, make me laugh.
But yesterday, I went to my mom and said, "I can now officially say that Pat and I are just friends!" So yes, we're "just friends". To the people who have been keeping up in my life: Sound familiar? Yes, it's the same phrase that I have with Sam. Oh joy! One of these days I'm going to get pretty tired of always being some guys "just friend". Thank goodness that day isn't today. Sad day to any guys who have insisted on being "just friends", when that day comes, I'm most likely going to blow up and "hate" everyone of those guys. But until that sad, dreaded day comes life's pretty good.
I was texting Pat last night and decided to text Sam cause I hadn't talked to him for some time. Too much time focused on Pat (not a good idea). Well, you can get an idea of what happened with Pat and Sam being roommates chilling in their apartment together. You can also probably get an idea of the fun that I then had. I went into Pat's-jealous-of-Sam little bit and kissing-Sam's-poor-break-up-with-one-week-girlfriend-broken-heart bit with Sam. To telling Pat that's he's not the lady's man, Sam is and that Pat thinks Sam is his type! As well, I had fun. I later told Pat that the main reason to keep guys around is just to flirt with them. He then presided to tell me that I was, thus, a "user". Need I remind him that he doesn't just flirt with the girls, but goes a step further! LOL!
No. Pat's a good guy. He's loads of fun. Just within a few minutes you can learn more about a person that you thought you would. I think we're more alike than either of us perceived. I think the best thing I've ever heard him say is, "I do understand the not understanding thing."
My friends are AMAZING people! (That pretty much goes for anyone I call a friend!)
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
More MVs
I don't know what it is, but early this morning I had a few songs from the Swan Princess Trilogy stuck in my head. So here they are:
Because I Love Her
For Longer Than Forever
Magic of Love
And here's just an extra song:
If We Hold On Together
Because I Love Her
For Longer Than Forever
Magic of Love
And here's just an extra song:
If We Hold On Together
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Music Videos
Alison Krauss - When You Say Nothing At All
Shania Twain - Forever And For Always
Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever
Shania Twain - Forever And For Always
Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Sunshine for the Latter-day Saint Teenager's Soul
Marci's Proposal
By Carlos E. Asay
Marci reverenced her parents. That is why she sought their counsel soon after she had received a marriage proposal from a young man. The two had dated at college for several months and they seemed to have much in common. Both were religious; both loved children; and both loved the Lord. Her suitor had professed his love and good intentions. Marci wasn't so sure.
Mother and Dad were not able at the time to visit Marci at school, where the proposal could have been discussed at length. But hey promised to past and pray over the matter before sharing their advice. Their love for Marci was deep and abiding. No parents had ever raised a more obedient daughter than she.
A few days later, Marci's parents called her back on the telephone. Their response was simply: "We have prayed and pondered over your proposal and we don't have a good feeling. We cannot tell you why these feelings have been so negative. Moreover, we are reluctant to judge the young man because we have never met him. But we don't think that you should accept the engagement ring."
Though temporarily disappointed with the response from her mother and father, Marci trusted their feelings and accepted their counsel without argument and ended the courtship. There was no debate, no crying, and appeal for additional consideration. She trusted implicitly in her parents' word, knowing that it had been spoken in love and out of the deepest concern for her well-being.
Later, Marci's father wrote:
Marci, I remind you that you are a very special young lady. Your body is clean, your mind pure, and your spirit strong. Therefore, be very cautious in all your dealings. Don't permit anyone to stain your soul or mar your character. Although at times you may get lonely or wonder if that knight in shining armor will ever arrive, I assure you that he will in due time. Consider it this way: The reason he (the knight) is taking so long is that he is strengthening and polishing his armor. When it is sufficiently prepared, he will come and claim you his. You see, this added time of waiting is give to you and him as a time of preparation. Consequently, both of you will be far better equipped to fight the battles of life and to protect the children that will bless your relationship.
Just be patient, prayerful and clean. Trust the Lord and he will extend his blessings in due time. We love you, dear. Our hopes, wishes, and desires are only for your eternal happiness. God bless you always.
A few months later "Mr. Right" came upon the scene. He took Marci to the temple, where they were sealed together for time and for all eternity. In the years that followed, Marci has testified concerning this important, scripture-based fact: Loving parents do not chasten or give advice after their own pleasures; they do it for the profit of the children so that the children might be partakers of holiness and happiness (see Hebrews 12:10).
They Say
By Val C. Wilcox
What will they think if I should dare
To choose and buy this one to wear?
They say it simply can't be done,
No point in even trying one.
I might compete and then just see--
But if I fail they'll laugh at me.
Though sometimes many, sometimes few,
It seems they dictate all I do.
The only thing they do not say
Is just exactly who are they!
The Making of Friends
By Edgar A. Guest
If nobody smiled and nobody cheered and nobody helped us along.
If each every minute looked after himself and good things all went to the strong.
If nobody cared just a little for you, and nobody thought about me,
And we stood all alone to the battle of life, what a dreary old world it would be!
If there were no such things as a flag in the sky as a symbol of comradeship here,
If we lived as the animals lived in the woods, with nothing held sacred or dear,
And selfishness ruled us from birth to the end, and never a neighbor had we,
And never we have to another in need, what a dreary old world it would be!
Oh, if we were rich as the richest on earth and strong as the strongest that lives,
Yet never we knew the delight and the charm of the smile which the other man gives,
If kindness were never a part of ourselves, though we owned all the land we could see,
And friendship meant nothing at all to us here, what a dreary old world it would be!
Life is sweet just because of the friends we have made and the things which in common we share;
We want to live on not because of ourselves, but because of the people who care;
It's giving and doing for somebody else--on that all life's splendor depends,
And the joy of this world, when you've summed it all up, is found in the making of friends.
Halloween Santa
By Elaine Cannon
A small girl dressed up in her Halloween costume as a Salvation Army Santa Claus, complete with the relentless tingle-tingle of a bell on the long black handle, and went her way for treats. Her bag was full when she knocked at one last door. the lady of the house said she was sorry but her store of goodies was empty--every last treat had been handed out.
The young Santa began ringing her bell merrily and said, "That's ok. I have plenty. I'll give you some of mine!"
It has indeed been said, "A little child shall lead them."
Her Future Children
By Curtis L. Jacobs
While my mother and father were serving their mission, they heard two Elders tell of teaching a young Jewish lady who was currently dating an LDS young man. In her journal my mother wrote: "He had just accepted a position over in Taiwan, where he had been a missionary. She felt that she must have the discussions to make up her mind about joining the Church and going with him...They gave her one discussion and she said that she wanted them all the next day. So they were giving her the discussions, and afterwards she told them that as they were talking there was an 'aura' around them and she could see people looking at her from behind the missionaries; and she now asked who they were. The missionaries didn't have an answer, but went back to their apartment and prayed...It was revealed to them...that they were her [future] children that would be born to her and this young man. They were waiting to see if she would accept the gospel. She did, and was baptized."
Curses, Foiled Again
By Chris Crowe
Walt was te new kid at school that year. He wasn't in any of my classes; I met him at our first freshman football practice. He seemed like a decent enough guy--a little on the quiet side, though.
I was the exact opposite--in the worst way. I wasn't LDS and talked long and loud with generous helpings of cussing. But despite our differences, I put up with Walt because he was such a good athlete. When it came to playing football, Walt was definitely all action and no talk.
I guess Walt had only two problems fitting in with the rest of us: he was the only Mormon on the team, and he was also the only kid who never, ever swore.
By the end of our freshman year, though, everybody was used to Walt and his quiet, cussless ways. Even though he looked like us and hung around with us, when he opened his mouth--or didn't open his mouth--he was completely different from us.
Walt's "sissy" vocabulary didn't bother me much the first couple of year I knew him. We became pretty good buddies and spent lots of time together talking about football, girls, school, and religion--Walt was always talking about his church. Anyway, in all our times together I never heard Walt swear, even when I figured he had every reason to.
At the beginning of our junior year I decided it was my duty to reform Walt by "improving" his vocabulary. It was our first year on the varsity--he was a defensive back, I was an offensive lineman--and I figured if he didn't learn to cuss he'd never fit in with the rest of the varsity squad.
"Look, Wally," I told him one night after practice (we were right in the middle of two-a-days), "I'm gonna make you swear--just once--if it's the last thing I do this year."
"Well," he grinned, "I guess that'll be the last thing you'll do, because I don't swear."
I had my work cut out for me. I mean, here was a guy who said "excuse me" every time he burped--even in the locker room. It was hard to believe that Walt didn't swear; he surely had plenty of cussing examples around him. hte air in the locker room and football field was always filled with vivid streaks of blue language. I knew that he had heard everything there was to hear, but he still never used anything stronger than "Good grief," "darn," or "golly."
So I had to start at the beginning. One afternoon before practice I handed Walt a vocabulary list. "This is a list of words I want you to use today at practice. If you use them often enough, you'll finally get the hang of it, and before you know it, you'll be cussing like an old pro."
He looked over my list for a minute but didn't say a word.
I pointed to the first word. "This one--this is a great one. Use it when you drop an interception or miss a tackle. You'll really feel much better if you do. And the next few are good when somebody takes a cheap shot at you. Use these last two anytime the ref makes a bad call."
Walt wadded up my list and tossed it into his locker.
"Aw, c'mon, Wally," I pleaded. "Give it a chance. You've got to release all those pent-up emotions. You keep holding in all that anger and cussing and you'll have major ulcers before you're eighteen."
Out at practice that afternoon, Walt dropped an interception, missed three tackles during a scrimmage, and was the victim of one of my "friendly" cheap shots. I hit him right in the back, and when I help him up, expecting to hear him cut loose with one of his new words, all he muttered was a feisty "Darn!"
I realized I needed more help if I was to reform Walt, so I recruited a few other guys to work on him. We tried everything: booby-trapped his locker, pinched him in pileups, snapped him with towels, but we were lucky to get even a "doggone it" out of him. As a matter of fact, the harder we tried, the worse Walt got. It finally got so bad tat he even quit using "darn" and just responded with "ouch" to all our persecutions.
"Okay, Walt," I said to him as we sat lacing up our cleats one day before practice, "I guess you win. No swearing, right? But what about dirty jokes? You know any?"
"Oh, you bet I do," he grinned. "I'll even tell you one today after practice."
After wind sprints that evening, before he even got off the field, I gathered our buddies around and announced, "Hey, you guys, listen to this. Walt's got a dirty joke to tell us."
"Yeah, right," said one player. "Walt? A dirty joke? You gotta be kidding."
"He wouldn't know a dirty joke if he heard one," said another. "This I gotta hear."
We huddled around Walt, anxious to see the effects of our reform efforts. "Gosh, you guys," he exclaimed, "give me some room, okay?" We all moved back. "All right." He blushed slightly. "This is it, my dirty joke: a white horse fell into a mud puddle."
"Oh no!" we moaned. "You call that a dirty joke?"
"Well, what'd you guys expect?" laughed Walt. "That's a Mormon dirty joke," he said as he trotted off to the locker room.
The football season progressed and so did Walt. He terrorized our opponents as much as he mystified us, so we dubbed him "the Stormin' Mormon." It was a well-deserved nickname.
It became a team obsession to pollute Walt, to make him more like us. We weren't vicious about it; we were just good-naturedly hoping to save him from going off the deep end of goody-goodness. As his teammates, we owed it to him. Unfortunately for us, he was just as good-natured and just as determined to remain in the deep end of goodness.
We weren't making any progress with Walt's vocabulary, so some guys began telling (that is, trying to tell) dirty jokes to him. As soon as they'd begin a story, he'd cover up his ear. If they increased their volume, Walt would sing out loud; the louder the story, the louder Walt sang.
It got to be pretty comical. Two guys would dance around Walt trying to tell him a dirty joke while he sat peacefully in front of his locker with both hands clapped flat over his ears, singing at the top of his lungs.
By the end of the season we'd all but given up on Walt. He was a lost cause as far as swearing went. there was simply no reforming him.
It was even worse our senior year. The younger players looked up to Walt because he was one of the top players on the team, and the rest of us knew there was no changing him, so we all just accepted him for what he was and left it at that. Of course, we didn't leave him completely alone. There were still a few bobby-trapped lockers and assorted pranks. We gave Walt every opportunity, but he never swore.
And you know, we would have been disappointed if he had.
Things finally got so bad that even I started to give up cussing, especially around Walt. I knew he didn't like hearing profanity all the time, so I toned down my vocabulary.
After all we'd been through (and Walt had been through a lot more than I had), we were really good friends. We talked often about lots of things, and he continued to plug the Church every chance he got.
It's kind of funny, but for four years I was really trying, trying hard to reform Walt--to help him see the light of using a man's vocabulary. But my bad example, and hs good one, eventually backfired on me.
A month after we graduated, Walt was there to witness my baptism. "Gee whiz," he said after the ceremony, "I didn't think you'd ever change."
"Doggone it, Walt," I replied, "I'm glad you didn't."
By Carlos E. Asay
Marci reverenced her parents. That is why she sought their counsel soon after she had received a marriage proposal from a young man. The two had dated at college for several months and they seemed to have much in common. Both were religious; both loved children; and both loved the Lord. Her suitor had professed his love and good intentions. Marci wasn't so sure.
Mother and Dad were not able at the time to visit Marci at school, where the proposal could have been discussed at length. But hey promised to past and pray over the matter before sharing their advice. Their love for Marci was deep and abiding. No parents had ever raised a more obedient daughter than she.
A few days later, Marci's parents called her back on the telephone. Their response was simply: "We have prayed and pondered over your proposal and we don't have a good feeling. We cannot tell you why these feelings have been so negative. Moreover, we are reluctant to judge the young man because we have never met him. But we don't think that you should accept the engagement ring."
Though temporarily disappointed with the response from her mother and father, Marci trusted their feelings and accepted their counsel without argument and ended the courtship. There was no debate, no crying, and appeal for additional consideration. She trusted implicitly in her parents' word, knowing that it had been spoken in love and out of the deepest concern for her well-being.
Later, Marci's father wrote:
Marci, I remind you that you are a very special young lady. Your body is clean, your mind pure, and your spirit strong. Therefore, be very cautious in all your dealings. Don't permit anyone to stain your soul or mar your character. Although at times you may get lonely or wonder if that knight in shining armor will ever arrive, I assure you that he will in due time. Consider it this way: The reason he (the knight) is taking so long is that he is strengthening and polishing his armor. When it is sufficiently prepared, he will come and claim you his. You see, this added time of waiting is give to you and him as a time of preparation. Consequently, both of you will be far better equipped to fight the battles of life and to protect the children that will bless your relationship.
Just be patient, prayerful and clean. Trust the Lord and he will extend his blessings in due time. We love you, dear. Our hopes, wishes, and desires are only for your eternal happiness. God bless you always.
A few months later "Mr. Right" came upon the scene. He took Marci to the temple, where they were sealed together for time and for all eternity. In the years that followed, Marci has testified concerning this important, scripture-based fact: Loving parents do not chasten or give advice after their own pleasures; they do it for the profit of the children so that the children might be partakers of holiness and happiness (see Hebrews 12:10).
They Say
By Val C. Wilcox
What will they think if I should dare
To choose and buy this one to wear?
They say it simply can't be done,
No point in even trying one.
I might compete and then just see--
But if I fail they'll laugh at me.
Though sometimes many, sometimes few,
It seems they dictate all I do.
The only thing they do not say
Is just exactly who are they!
The Making of Friends
By Edgar A. Guest
If nobody smiled and nobody cheered and nobody helped us along.
If each every minute looked after himself and good things all went to the strong.
If nobody cared just a little for you, and nobody thought about me,
And we stood all alone to the battle of life, what a dreary old world it would be!
If there were no such things as a flag in the sky as a symbol of comradeship here,
If we lived as the animals lived in the woods, with nothing held sacred or dear,
And selfishness ruled us from birth to the end, and never a neighbor had we,
And never we have to another in need, what a dreary old world it would be!
Oh, if we were rich as the richest on earth and strong as the strongest that lives,
Yet never we knew the delight and the charm of the smile which the other man gives,
If kindness were never a part of ourselves, though we owned all the land we could see,
And friendship meant nothing at all to us here, what a dreary old world it would be!
Life is sweet just because of the friends we have made and the things which in common we share;
We want to live on not because of ourselves, but because of the people who care;
It's giving and doing for somebody else--on that all life's splendor depends,
And the joy of this world, when you've summed it all up, is found in the making of friends.
Halloween Santa
By Elaine Cannon
A small girl dressed up in her Halloween costume as a Salvation Army Santa Claus, complete with the relentless tingle-tingle of a bell on the long black handle, and went her way for treats. Her bag was full when she knocked at one last door. the lady of the house said she was sorry but her store of goodies was empty--every last treat had been handed out.
The young Santa began ringing her bell merrily and said, "That's ok. I have plenty. I'll give you some of mine!"
It has indeed been said, "A little child shall lead them."
Her Future Children
By Curtis L. Jacobs
While my mother and father were serving their mission, they heard two Elders tell of teaching a young Jewish lady who was currently dating an LDS young man. In her journal my mother wrote: "He had just accepted a position over in Taiwan, where he had been a missionary. She felt that she must have the discussions to make up her mind about joining the Church and going with him...They gave her one discussion and she said that she wanted them all the next day. So they were giving her the discussions, and afterwards she told them that as they were talking there was an 'aura' around them and she could see people looking at her from behind the missionaries; and she now asked who they were. The missionaries didn't have an answer, but went back to their apartment and prayed...It was revealed to them...that they were her [future] children that would be born to her and this young man. They were waiting to see if she would accept the gospel. She did, and was baptized."
Curses, Foiled Again
By Chris Crowe
Walt was te new kid at school that year. He wasn't in any of my classes; I met him at our first freshman football practice. He seemed like a decent enough guy--a little on the quiet side, though.
I was the exact opposite--in the worst way. I wasn't LDS and talked long and loud with generous helpings of cussing. But despite our differences, I put up with Walt because he was such a good athlete. When it came to playing football, Walt was definitely all action and no talk.
I guess Walt had only two problems fitting in with the rest of us: he was the only Mormon on the team, and he was also the only kid who never, ever swore.
By the end of our freshman year, though, everybody was used to Walt and his quiet, cussless ways. Even though he looked like us and hung around with us, when he opened his mouth--or didn't open his mouth--he was completely different from us.
Walt's "sissy" vocabulary didn't bother me much the first couple of year I knew him. We became pretty good buddies and spent lots of time together talking about football, girls, school, and religion--Walt was always talking about his church. Anyway, in all our times together I never heard Walt swear, even when I figured he had every reason to.
At the beginning of our junior year I decided it was my duty to reform Walt by "improving" his vocabulary. It was our first year on the varsity--he was a defensive back, I was an offensive lineman--and I figured if he didn't learn to cuss he'd never fit in with the rest of the varsity squad.
"Look, Wally," I told him one night after practice (we were right in the middle of two-a-days), "I'm gonna make you swear--just once--if it's the last thing I do this year."
"Well," he grinned, "I guess that'll be the last thing you'll do, because I don't swear."
I had my work cut out for me. I mean, here was a guy who said "excuse me" every time he burped--even in the locker room. It was hard to believe that Walt didn't swear; he surely had plenty of cussing examples around him. hte air in the locker room and football field was always filled with vivid streaks of blue language. I knew that he had heard everything there was to hear, but he still never used anything stronger than "Good grief," "darn," or "golly."
So I had to start at the beginning. One afternoon before practice I handed Walt a vocabulary list. "This is a list of words I want you to use today at practice. If you use them often enough, you'll finally get the hang of it, and before you know it, you'll be cussing like an old pro."
He looked over my list for a minute but didn't say a word.
I pointed to the first word. "This one--this is a great one. Use it when you drop an interception or miss a tackle. You'll really feel much better if you do. And the next few are good when somebody takes a cheap shot at you. Use these last two anytime the ref makes a bad call."
Walt wadded up my list and tossed it into his locker.
"Aw, c'mon, Wally," I pleaded. "Give it a chance. You've got to release all those pent-up emotions. You keep holding in all that anger and cussing and you'll have major ulcers before you're eighteen."
Out at practice that afternoon, Walt dropped an interception, missed three tackles during a scrimmage, and was the victim of one of my "friendly" cheap shots. I hit him right in the back, and when I help him up, expecting to hear him cut loose with one of his new words, all he muttered was a feisty "Darn!"
I realized I needed more help if I was to reform Walt, so I recruited a few other guys to work on him. We tried everything: booby-trapped his locker, pinched him in pileups, snapped him with towels, but we were lucky to get even a "doggone it" out of him. As a matter of fact, the harder we tried, the worse Walt got. It finally got so bad tat he even quit using "darn" and just responded with "ouch" to all our persecutions.
"Okay, Walt," I said to him as we sat lacing up our cleats one day before practice, "I guess you win. No swearing, right? But what about dirty jokes? You know any?"
"Oh, you bet I do," he grinned. "I'll even tell you one today after practice."
After wind sprints that evening, before he even got off the field, I gathered our buddies around and announced, "Hey, you guys, listen to this. Walt's got a dirty joke to tell us."
"Yeah, right," said one player. "Walt? A dirty joke? You gotta be kidding."
"He wouldn't know a dirty joke if he heard one," said another. "This I gotta hear."
We huddled around Walt, anxious to see the effects of our reform efforts. "Gosh, you guys," he exclaimed, "give me some room, okay?" We all moved back. "All right." He blushed slightly. "This is it, my dirty joke: a white horse fell into a mud puddle."
"Oh no!" we moaned. "You call that a dirty joke?"
"Well, what'd you guys expect?" laughed Walt. "That's a Mormon dirty joke," he said as he trotted off to the locker room.
The football season progressed and so did Walt. He terrorized our opponents as much as he mystified us, so we dubbed him "the Stormin' Mormon." It was a well-deserved nickname.
It became a team obsession to pollute Walt, to make him more like us. We weren't vicious about it; we were just good-naturedly hoping to save him from going off the deep end of goody-goodness. As his teammates, we owed it to him. Unfortunately for us, he was just as good-natured and just as determined to remain in the deep end of goodness.
We weren't making any progress with Walt's vocabulary, so some guys began telling (that is, trying to tell) dirty jokes to him. As soon as they'd begin a story, he'd cover up his ear. If they increased their volume, Walt would sing out loud; the louder the story, the louder Walt sang.
It got to be pretty comical. Two guys would dance around Walt trying to tell him a dirty joke while he sat peacefully in front of his locker with both hands clapped flat over his ears, singing at the top of his lungs.
By the end of the season we'd all but given up on Walt. He was a lost cause as far as swearing went. there was simply no reforming him.
It was even worse our senior year. The younger players looked up to Walt because he was one of the top players on the team, and the rest of us knew there was no changing him, so we all just accepted him for what he was and left it at that. Of course, we didn't leave him completely alone. There were still a few bobby-trapped lockers and assorted pranks. We gave Walt every opportunity, but he never swore.
And you know, we would have been disappointed if he had.
Things finally got so bad that even I started to give up cussing, especially around Walt. I knew he didn't like hearing profanity all the time, so I toned down my vocabulary.
After all we'd been through (and Walt had been through a lot more than I had), we were really good friends. We talked often about lots of things, and he continued to plug the Church every chance he got.
It's kind of funny, but for four years I was really trying, trying hard to reform Walt--to help him see the light of using a man's vocabulary. But my bad example, and hs good one, eventually backfired on me.
A month after we graduated, Walt was there to witness my baptism. "Gee whiz," he said after the ceremony, "I didn't think you'd ever change."
"Doggone it, Walt," I replied, "I'm glad you didn't."
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