I haven't blogged for quite a while because it seems that my life has been so full lately.
As I watched our sumi-e teacher do his demonstration last week, it occurred to me that he makes his brush walk! I know that he has been doing this for a very long time and it makes me wonder if I will ever be able to make my brush walk across the paper as he does. Each one of his strokes is beautiful--with the flick of a wrist, he can create a flower, the tail of a bird, or other great images. I create mine with the flick of a risk. Most of his paintings are done without actually looking at something, as most of the students--at least me--do. I imagine it is from years of studying nature and really being in tune with the tenets, zen principles. I rather like it when we read one of those principles at the beginning of each class. I can't do great strokes of the brush yet, but I can interpret the tenets.
One of the tenets last week was about everyone having a nature--if we all remained in our nature, it makes coexistence easier. It is when we disrespect the nature of others that problems occur.
I digressed once again. My thought about walking brushes is that we each have a brush to walk. Mine may not be in putting a painting on rice paper, my brush may be something else. I know that I have walked a "teaching brush" for most of my life, and now I am walking a "freetirement brush" which consists of doing all of the things I like doing and exploring other "brushes" which are foreign to me.
Find your brush and use it!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
"It's a Small World After All"
Our three weeks' adventure convinced me once more that the world is becoming increasingly small. The internet has had an amazing impact on world-wide communication. Although I didn't take a computer, iPod or iPhone, I did use internet cafes (called internet points in Europe) to communicate with our family and special friends. I did not take a book, but instead, took my drawing pad, sat on our balcony and drew what was of interest to me. Random thoughts:
1. My husband and I travel so well together. We still know how to do and see everything without being bogged down with "tours."
2. Ships are like greyhound buses which stop at every town. Four countries and 9 cities--no packing--effortless.
3. Queen Victoria--too many formal nights--very British, but lovely.
4. Loved our family run hotel in Rome. The big one in Mestre (Venice) was also nice.
5. Watched the MLK dedication from our stateroom while in Athens.
6. Loved Istanbul and Izmir, perhaps because they were more "Third Worldly"--although that term no longer exists. The Grand Bazaar is amazing.
7. Greek Isles are beautiful, especially Santorini, formed from a volcanic explosion. The water was the deepest navy blue I had ever seen.
8. Rome--Tony's favorite. I was so impressed with his architectural knowledge. It was like having my own personal art guide. He also knew about every Catholic icon and every Muslim icon.
9. The Blue Mosque is incredible.
10. Turkish baths hurt--relaxation beyond relaxation (Tony did it, I didn't).
11. Who was carrying all of those bricks in Rome? How many mouths could have been fed with the money used to furnish the Vatican?
12. Naples--beautiful. I hate pizza, but had it in Naples, the birthplace--best I have ever eaten.
13. Don't like animals walking around in outdoor cafes.
14. I Love Rick Sieves
15. I love my husband's orthopedist.
16. There is a time for everything--this was our time to do this part of Europe (although it was our fourth visit to the continent). We called this trip the "We Forgot About Ourselves Trip" and "Postnies." We would not have been able to do it with the old knees.
17. Had not walked so much in twenty years.
18. Most challenging and wonderful walks--to the top of the Acropolis with so many different surfaces and walking the l and 3/4 miles around the wall which surrounds the old city in Dubrovnik (another beautiful city in Croatia). Thanks to Rick Sieves, I knew where the elevator was and we didn't have to climb the Spanish steps.
19. Rome is a city/museum!
20. Saw everything, did what we wanted, appreciated the beauty of traveling with each other, had great table mates, love hop on/hop off buses, love public transportation, loved doing extensive research before the trip--including purchasing transportation from the airport to the hotel and from the hotel to the port (bus and train).
21. Tony took 750 pictures. He was interested in buildings; I was interested in clothes hanging on lines. I grabbed the camera many times--I never cared about pictures before.
22. Venice--just like the pictures. Enjoyed Mestre across the bridge--very unVenice-like.
23. Inspired us to take our grands and their parents on a cruise next November.
24. We know where we will go next.
25. Even though I'm more of a "developing country" sort of girl, this was the right time to do this trip given my new interests.
26. Missed the riots in Athens (were there on Sunday and that's a day off, even for demonstrations). Missed the earthquake in Turkey, although it was in Eastern Turkey and we were in Western. Interesting to see a city which spans two continents.
27. Romance languages are great. Italian was easy to read and translate, but not so easy to hear and understand without paying close attention to slow talkers. It was interesting to see Greek letters--reminded me of pledging and having to learn the alphabets. I did not feel linguistically isolated as I did when we first went to Paris.
28. Everyone was extremely helpful and gracious. My favorite directions--in Venice--"Go straight, and ask again."
29. Only one person mentioned the President. When we went through the Panama Canal, everyone, everywhere, mentioned him, but then, that was right after the election.
30. Came back with l8 snow globes since the grandgirls collect them. I hope they start collecting something which weighs less. We had to pack them, because they can't go in carry-ons. Fortunately, they all arrived whole--better than the ones we shipped to them from Seattle (which was a good pre-cation).
Enough--thankful for a healthy and perfect journey--one of our best. We were surprised that everyone thought we were gone too long--who knew?
1. My husband and I travel so well together. We still know how to do and see everything without being bogged down with "tours."
2. Ships are like greyhound buses which stop at every town. Four countries and 9 cities--no packing--effortless.
3. Queen Victoria--too many formal nights--very British, but lovely.
4. Loved our family run hotel in Rome. The big one in Mestre (Venice) was also nice.
5. Watched the MLK dedication from our stateroom while in Athens.
6. Loved Istanbul and Izmir, perhaps because they were more "Third Worldly"--although that term no longer exists. The Grand Bazaar is amazing.
7. Greek Isles are beautiful, especially Santorini, formed from a volcanic explosion. The water was the deepest navy blue I had ever seen.
8. Rome--Tony's favorite. I was so impressed with his architectural knowledge. It was like having my own personal art guide. He also knew about every Catholic icon and every Muslim icon.
9. The Blue Mosque is incredible.
10. Turkish baths hurt--relaxation beyond relaxation (Tony did it, I didn't).
11. Who was carrying all of those bricks in Rome? How many mouths could have been fed with the money used to furnish the Vatican?
12. Naples--beautiful. I hate pizza, but had it in Naples, the birthplace--best I have ever eaten.
13. Don't like animals walking around in outdoor cafes.
14. I Love Rick Sieves
15. I love my husband's orthopedist.
16. There is a time for everything--this was our time to do this part of Europe (although it was our fourth visit to the continent). We called this trip the "We Forgot About Ourselves Trip" and "Postnies." We would not have been able to do it with the old knees.
17. Had not walked so much in twenty years.
18. Most challenging and wonderful walks--to the top of the Acropolis with so many different surfaces and walking the l and 3/4 miles around the wall which surrounds the old city in Dubrovnik (another beautiful city in Croatia). Thanks to Rick Sieves, I knew where the elevator was and we didn't have to climb the Spanish steps.
19. Rome is a city/museum!
20. Saw everything, did what we wanted, appreciated the beauty of traveling with each other, had great table mates, love hop on/hop off buses, love public transportation, loved doing extensive research before the trip--including purchasing transportation from the airport to the hotel and from the hotel to the port (bus and train).
21. Tony took 750 pictures. He was interested in buildings; I was interested in clothes hanging on lines. I grabbed the camera many times--I never cared about pictures before.
22. Venice--just like the pictures. Enjoyed Mestre across the bridge--very unVenice-like.
23. Inspired us to take our grands and their parents on a cruise next November.
24. We know where we will go next.
25. Even though I'm more of a "developing country" sort of girl, this was the right time to do this trip given my new interests.
26. Missed the riots in Athens (were there on Sunday and that's a day off, even for demonstrations). Missed the earthquake in Turkey, although it was in Eastern Turkey and we were in Western. Interesting to see a city which spans two continents.
27. Romance languages are great. Italian was easy to read and translate, but not so easy to hear and understand without paying close attention to slow talkers. It was interesting to see Greek letters--reminded me of pledging and having to learn the alphabets. I did not feel linguistically isolated as I did when we first went to Paris.
28. Everyone was extremely helpful and gracious. My favorite directions--in Venice--"Go straight, and ask again."
29. Only one person mentioned the President. When we went through the Panama Canal, everyone, everywhere, mentioned him, but then, that was right after the election.
30. Came back with l8 snow globes since the grandgirls collect them. I hope they start collecting something which weighs less. We had to pack them, because they can't go in carry-ons. Fortunately, they all arrived whole--better than the ones we shipped to them from Seattle (which was a good pre-cation).
Enough--thankful for a healthy and perfect journey--one of our best. We were surprised that everyone thought we were gone too long--who knew?
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Life without the "f"
Yesterday I attended a Home going service for a dear friend. It was an amazing service because it is not often that everything that is said about a person is true. This man really lived his life in service to other people. He was described as a giant educator, a giant church person, and a giant family man! He was the essence of what everyone said about him. It was so refreshing to attend a service so based on truth.
That is the way a life should be lived--our light should shine so brightly that no one will have to really think about what they will say if called upon to say a few words about us. It should all come easily.
I used to know someone who is living life without the "f." That life has become a big lie (or maybe it always was) because the person is not realizing that when you lose yourself, whatever you "think" you have gained is a joke based upon a lie.
That is the way a life should be lived--our light should shine so brightly that no one will have to really think about what they will say if called upon to say a few words about us. It should all come easily.
I used to know someone who is living life without the "f." That life has become a big lie (or maybe it always was) because the person is not realizing that when you lose yourself, whatever you "think" you have gained is a joke based upon a lie.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Darkness and Light
There are many biblical concepts related to "darkness becoming light," but this concept became quite real just a couple of days ago. Our city, along with others in our grid, became dark around 3:40 p.m. as I was watching tennis on television. At that time, we had no idea that this outage affected a vast area, including parts of southern California, Mexico and Arizona. I went to my current research source, Facebook, and found that folks were posting, all over town, that their lights were out as well.
As my husband and I sat, I asked him "What should we do before it gets dark?" In his ultimate wise elder voice, he said, "Why don't we have dinner?" His calmness is a magnificent turn on!
We realized we had a gas stove, so all I needed was a match since the pilot light is electrical. We warmed our food the old fashioned way, in a big frying pan and had dinner. We then gathered things we didn't even know we had--a battery powered radio, a wind up flashlight, a battery operated flashlight, candles, and matches. I put all of our left-overs in the freezer, gathered bottles of water, and old fashioned hand held fans. I opened all of the windows in the house--pretended I was in Miami with no air conditioner and dressed in that fashion.
We sat downstairs and talked for awhile--I almost forgot what it's like to talk to someone you love without watching television, being on the internet, and reading the paper all at the same time as you talk to him. We then went upstairs listened to the radio in the dark and I was reminded of doing the same thing with my great grand-mother. The radio was her lifeline, and tonight, it became mine. Now I understood why she was so attached to it. You really had to pay attention--you weren't distracted by what anyone looked like or by silly stories which related to nothing.
We sat, talked, listened and had a grand old time.
It reminded me that, indeed, there is light from darkness. This light reminded me of what we really need and don't need. It reminded me that human contact and communication is primary. I love technology, but I was reminded that it, as everything else, has a time and place. I also love the "old fashioned things" which were so meaningful to me in my life. I am happy that I can still see light. My husband always says that what cannot stand up to the light is either a lie or evil. There is so much truth in that. I had a friend who is now is darkness, but believes she is in the light. Hopefully, the switch will be turned on again, but my grid may not be working.
I have another friend who found her light at the casino--she told me that as the lights went off at her job, she took the road "most travelled" when she surveyed the freeways-- the road to the casino which had fewer cars that the road to home. I learned that casinos all have generators. It is amazing where we find light. The important thing, is that we find it and that we are able to distinguish what is darkness and what is light.
As my husband and I sat, I asked him "What should we do before it gets dark?" In his ultimate wise elder voice, he said, "Why don't we have dinner?" His calmness is a magnificent turn on!
We realized we had a gas stove, so all I needed was a match since the pilot light is electrical. We warmed our food the old fashioned way, in a big frying pan and had dinner. We then gathered things we didn't even know we had--a battery powered radio, a wind up flashlight, a battery operated flashlight, candles, and matches. I put all of our left-overs in the freezer, gathered bottles of water, and old fashioned hand held fans. I opened all of the windows in the house--pretended I was in Miami with no air conditioner and dressed in that fashion.
We sat downstairs and talked for awhile--I almost forgot what it's like to talk to someone you love without watching television, being on the internet, and reading the paper all at the same time as you talk to him. We then went upstairs listened to the radio in the dark and I was reminded of doing the same thing with my great grand-mother. The radio was her lifeline, and tonight, it became mine. Now I understood why she was so attached to it. You really had to pay attention--you weren't distracted by what anyone looked like or by silly stories which related to nothing.
We sat, talked, listened and had a grand old time.
It reminded me that, indeed, there is light from darkness. This light reminded me of what we really need and don't need. It reminded me that human contact and communication is primary. I love technology, but I was reminded that it, as everything else, has a time and place. I also love the "old fashioned things" which were so meaningful to me in my life. I am happy that I can still see light. My husband always says that what cannot stand up to the light is either a lie or evil. There is so much truth in that. I had a friend who is now is darkness, but believes she is in the light. Hopefully, the switch will be turned on again, but my grid may not be working.
I have another friend who found her light at the casino--she told me that as the lights went off at her job, she took the road "most travelled" when she surveyed the freeways-- the road to the casino which had fewer cars that the road to home. I learned that casinos all have generators. It is amazing where we find light. The important thing, is that we find it and that we are able to distinguish what is darkness and what is light.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Naked Klan
I had lunch with two dear friends yesterday, and one of them posited the idea that the new "party" is the new version of the Klan. Perhaps, they don't want to bother getting the sheets and the rest of the "get-up", but as I think about it, there is really no difference between them and their "tea" and the old "party" with their sheets.
I have been giving a bit of attention to the state of this country with all of the old fashioned, but undercover "pretty hate" that seems to be so prevalent. I call it "pretty hate" because those who believe in it disguise it under all kinds of euphemisms. "Let's take back our country?" From whom? The Black President? "It's not about race?" Then what is it about? "HE'S going on vacation?" Why not? "Birth certificate?" Why? Call it what it is and deal with it.
This new Klan is probably more dangerous mentally than the other one was dangerous physically. The sheets are off, but the "tea" remains hot.
I have been giving a bit of attention to the state of this country with all of the old fashioned, but undercover "pretty hate" that seems to be so prevalent. I call it "pretty hate" because those who believe in it disguise it under all kinds of euphemisms. "Let's take back our country?" From whom? The Black President? "It's not about race?" Then what is it about? "HE'S going on vacation?" Why not? "Birth certificate?" Why? Call it what it is and deal with it.
This new Klan is probably more dangerous mentally than the other one was dangerous physically. The sheets are off, but the "tea" remains hot.
Friday, August 19, 2011
OBAMAHaters
I saw a sign on Facebook which said "The Republicans hate Obama more than they claim to love America." I am getting so sick and tired of all of the hate that is being heaped upon the POTUS. In my lifetime, I do not remember a president being as reviled as this one is. I have never seen so many stalemates in congress, based upon hatred for one man. I think that everyone woke up in November and said, "Oh my God, we've got a n----- in the White House." I was telling a friend this at lunch a couple of weeks ago and he said, that as a White man, he knows that that is what is happening (although, liberal that he is, he is also disappointed in the POTUS).
I just saw on Good Morning America that he as taken FEWER vacation days than his Republican predecessors, but yet, there are those making disparaging remarks about his vacation at the Vineyard.
I am down with him for the duration. I will campaign for him and support him because I believe that the reason for all of this hate is pure racial politics. I know that many deny it, but after seeing The Help, I was reminded that no matter how much things change, the more they remain the same. There are undercover "Hillys" everywhere. I love the south, because there are few undercovers--you usually know who the "Hilly" are. It disgusts me because most folks will still claim that race has little to do with it--that is "pretty politics" and I am leery of those who expound that theory.
He has been in office for a relatively short time--I have worked in Washington, so I know how the games are played. It is a very tight network which has run itself for many years with all kind of "back scratching." It is a very difficult nut to crack, but it is "crackable" with time.
I can't believe that the Alaskan was on television making comments about how she feels the president is doing. I immediately turned the tv to mute--I refuse to listen to any of it any more.
This country is in a very bad, hateful state, and it has nothing to do with the POTUS. It has to do with uncontrolled stubborness! I will still proudly display my 2012 sticker in the back window of my car!
Wow, now I feel better. Obama, STILL, in 2012. Many Blacks used to say say that if we had a Black President and he lasted four years without being harmed, that would be a victory. The victory is letting him run the country; allowing him the time to do his work; and more importantly, backing off and being civil!
I just saw on Good Morning America that he as taken FEWER vacation days than his Republican predecessors, but yet, there are those making disparaging remarks about his vacation at the Vineyard.
I am down with him for the duration. I will campaign for him and support him because I believe that the reason for all of this hate is pure racial politics. I know that many deny it, but after seeing The Help, I was reminded that no matter how much things change, the more they remain the same. There are undercover "Hillys" everywhere. I love the south, because there are few undercovers--you usually know who the "Hilly" are. It disgusts me because most folks will still claim that race has little to do with it--that is "pretty politics" and I am leery of those who expound that theory.
He has been in office for a relatively short time--I have worked in Washington, so I know how the games are played. It is a very tight network which has run itself for many years with all kind of "back scratching." It is a very difficult nut to crack, but it is "crackable" with time.
I can't believe that the Alaskan was on television making comments about how she feels the president is doing. I immediately turned the tv to mute--I refuse to listen to any of it any more.
This country is in a very bad, hateful state, and it has nothing to do with the POTUS. It has to do with uncontrolled stubborness! I will still proudly display my 2012 sticker in the back window of my car!
Wow, now I feel better. Obama, STILL, in 2012. Many Blacks used to say say that if we had a Black President and he lasted four years without being harmed, that would be a victory. The victory is letting him run the country; allowing him the time to do his work; and more importantly, backing off and being civil!
Friday, August 12, 2011
New Old Friends
Some time ago a childhood friend gave me pillow embroidered with the phrase "Old friends are the best friends." Although I have lost some old friends I once thought of as good friends, I cherish the new old friends I seem to encounter.
Tonight we went to a seventieth birthday party-- it had fabulous hours 4-9. There were probably 200 people rotating throughout the house, patios, back and front yards.
As we huddled around the several food stations ( there was even a room set aside where you could decorate your own cupcake), we saw a
friend my husband had not seen in over twenty years. They both started as young architects at the same firm. When I first met him, he realized that we had met at a party in Tempe, Arizona. He was someone we grew up with in San Diego. (I had seen him at a restaurant a year ago).
After spending some time at the party, he and his #3 wife invited us to their home just around the corner. It was a Cliff May house and absolutely beautifully magnificent.
We had coffee and great conversation, and it was as if we had been together all of this time--it was as if no time had passed and we were all 30 again. I thought of the pillow! Old true friends are really the best friends! I cherish them and am so happy for the relationships I have been fortunate to enjoy!
Tonight we went to a seventieth birthday party-- it had fabulous hours 4-9. There were probably 200 people rotating throughout the house, patios, back and front yards.
As we huddled around the several food stations ( there was even a room set aside where you could decorate your own cupcake), we saw a
friend my husband had not seen in over twenty years. They both started as young architects at the same firm. When I first met him, he realized that we had met at a party in Tempe, Arizona. He was someone we grew up with in San Diego. (I had seen him at a restaurant a year ago).
After spending some time at the party, he and his #3 wife invited us to their home just around the corner. It was a Cliff May house and absolutely beautifully magnificent.
We had coffee and great conversation, and it was as if we had been together all of this time--it was as if no time had passed and we were all 30 again. I thought of the pillow! Old true friends are really the best friends! I cherish them and am so happy for the relationships I have been fortunate to enjoy!
Friday, July 22, 2011
ComicBones
Yesterday was an extremely exciting day as I went to ComicCon with our grandson. Grandpa dropped us off at the trolley at 7:10 and we took the special events trolley to the Convention Center. We arrived at 8:02 and I had the bright idea to go to the Hyatt and get in line to buy tickets for next year since I read that if you attend this year, you could do that between 8 and 11(it was an almost impossible task to secure tickets for even one day this year). When we got there, the line stretched all the way past Seaport Village. Somehow :-) we were able to secure a different spot and were able to enter the cavernous ballroom. I was told that the people in front had been there since 3 a.m. There were at least 900 people in that room, but the organization was amazing. There were fifteen double rows and we were in row #9.
At 9 a.m. they announced that those in the room would be assured of tickets, but they were closing the doors and noone else could enter.
We never moved as they called one row at a time (rows were separated by chains). Our grandson got antsy because he thought we would get to ComicCon late (it started at 9:30). All of the old timers (those who were there for the 14th time) assured him that he wouldn't miss anything. Surprisingly, it took two hours and by 10:15 we had our four day passes for next year. It was well worth the wait!
We then walked to the Convention Center (our grandson said he was tired from walking--hey, I thought I was the "old one"), but we managed. I cannot even describe the inside. It was overwhelmingly exciting. Although he is very quiet, I could see the joy in his eyes. Games, costumes, free stuff, Hulk Hogan, people,the works. We went to one workshop (2000 people) related to one of his favorite games--Street Fighter. It was fun! In the midst of all of the people, I saw four people I knew.
Our grandson's impression of the crowd was that it didn't match that of the inauguration. :-)
At around 3:30, we left--our grandson was tired and besides we had seen practically everything. We took the trolley back to Qualcomm and grandpa was there to fetch us--he is such a team player. :-) Now I know why you need a four day pass--so that you can do a little each day.
Today, every bone in my body aches. I probably need a ComicChiropractor for these ComicBones!
At 9 a.m. they announced that those in the room would be assured of tickets, but they were closing the doors and noone else could enter.
We never moved as they called one row at a time (rows were separated by chains). Our grandson got antsy because he thought we would get to ComicCon late (it started at 9:30). All of the old timers (those who were there for the 14th time) assured him that he wouldn't miss anything. Surprisingly, it took two hours and by 10:15 we had our four day passes for next year. It was well worth the wait!
We then walked to the Convention Center (our grandson said he was tired from walking--hey, I thought I was the "old one"), but we managed. I cannot even describe the inside. It was overwhelmingly exciting. Although he is very quiet, I could see the joy in his eyes. Games, costumes, free stuff, Hulk Hogan, people,the works. We went to one workshop (2000 people) related to one of his favorite games--Street Fighter. It was fun! In the midst of all of the people, I saw four people I knew.
Our grandson's impression of the crowd was that it didn't match that of the inauguration. :-)
At around 3:30, we left--our grandson was tired and besides we had seen practically everything. We took the trolley back to Qualcomm and grandpa was there to fetch us--he is such a team player. :-) Now I know why you need a four day pass--so that you can do a little each day.
Today, every bone in my body aches. I probably need a ComicChiropractor for these ComicBones!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tables and Drums
We returned from Atlanta yesterday with our thirteen year old grandson. As soon as he walked into the house, he asked, "Where is my table?" We bought this little table when he was young and before the grands come, we put a blanket on the floor and the table on top of the blanket. It is where they used to eat and watch television. We have used the table for three grands and we had it up when our four year old granddaughter was here. Before we left, we moved the table and the toy basket upstairs since we knew he wouldn't need either when he came.
He then went upstairs into our closet and asked "Where is grandpa's drum?" This is a conga drum, (grandpa was/is quite a drummer) and had I moved it to a spot in the closet where it can't be seen or can't fall on anyone. He promptly moved it to its old spot, stood it up and there it stands.
As I was telling someone this story last night (had to catch up on my phone calls :-), I was told that we have created memories for our grands. How cool is that? I was then reminded of a little stool my great grandmother had that my sister and I always sat on when we went to her house. It was a small wooden stool and we each had one. I can still see that stool in my mind. I wish I had kept it.
I am so happy that I am reminded over and over of how important little things are in life. Memories are powerful!!! I thank my grandson for reminding me!
He then went upstairs into our closet and asked "Where is grandpa's drum?" This is a conga drum, (grandpa was/is quite a drummer) and had I moved it to a spot in the closet where it can't be seen or can't fall on anyone. He promptly moved it to its old spot, stood it up and there it stands.
As I was telling someone this story last night (had to catch up on my phone calls :-), I was told that we have created memories for our grands. How cool is that? I was then reminded of a little stool my great grandmother had that my sister and I always sat on when we went to her house. It was a small wooden stool and we each had one. I can still see that stool in my mind. I wish I had kept it.
I am so happy that I am reminded over and over of how important little things are in life. Memories are powerful!!! I thank my grandson for reminding me!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Boiled Eggs
Last Friday I spoke at the funeral of one of my best friends. She was described as a "Womanist," a term often used by her cousin, Alice Walker. She was a brilliant woman, a strong woman, a humble woman, a "no nonsense" woman. She taught me many things, but what I remembered most was that she taught me how to boil a perfect egg. I had not thought much about "egg symbolism" until another person compared her to an egg--hard exterior, but soft interior. I was happy to have that "egg" in my life.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Refrigerators
The mom of one of my former students (a major league baseball player), put this quote on Facebook this morning and I liked it so much that I decided to "blog it," after my verrrry long and wonderful grandchildren filled day.
"You Can't Have a Big Appetite in Someone Else's Refrigerator." I like that statement because there are a lot of people who want something from someone else. Sometimes, they think that others can give them peace and happiness, but that resides in your own "refrigerator." Some think that what someone else has is also what they need. Perhaps they think that all of the "food" in their refrigerator is spoiled. If so, spoiled food needs to thrown away so that it doesn't affect the smell of the refrigerator. I am getting rid of some of my "spoiled food."
Big appetites need to be fed, but only with what you have. If you have an almost empty refrigerator, then you need to make a trip to Cost-Co. Your Cost-Co should provide anything you need--love (self and otherwise), purpose, truth, a belief system, joy and happiness.
"You Can't Have a Big Appetite in Someone Else's Refrigerator." I like that statement because there are a lot of people who want something from someone else. Sometimes, they think that others can give them peace and happiness, but that resides in your own "refrigerator." Some think that what someone else has is also what they need. Perhaps they think that all of the "food" in their refrigerator is spoiled. If so, spoiled food needs to thrown away so that it doesn't affect the smell of the refrigerator. I am getting rid of some of my "spoiled food."
Big appetites need to be fed, but only with what you have. If you have an almost empty refrigerator, then you need to make a trip to Cost-Co. Your Cost-Co should provide anything you need--love (self and otherwise), purpose, truth, a belief system, joy and happiness.
Monday, June 13, 2011
"You Know Where the Tiger is Hiding"
As I was reading yesterday's Times, I saw a quote on aging in an article about Jane Fonda. She referred to the "rectangularization" of aging replacing the notion that "you're born, you peak at midlife and then you decline." She then gave reasons life improves with age, among them, "You know where the tiger is hiding; you don't have to keep looking for it in the bush."
I am so glad that I don't have to look in the bush anymore. The tigers I care about are not in hiding. Most have been consistent in my life, those who have been or have become inconsistent, can just stay in the bush knowing that I won't be looking there.
I am so glad that I don't have to look in the bush anymore. The tigers I care about are not in hiding. Most have been consistent in my life, those who have been or have become inconsistent, can just stay in the bush knowing that I won't be looking there.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Lies, Lies and More Lies
As I was responding to a FB post a few minutes ago, I decided to expand my response into a blog. It now turns out, according to links to articles posted on FB, that Weiner lied about the photo that he sent to the young lady in Seattle. Don't these folks understand that today with all of the social media and other technologically accessible information, that lies are a little harder to conceal.
Weiner jokes will be all over the news today and as Whoopi said yesterday on the view, if it were a fine package, any man would have already claimed it.
I know people, friends, and otherwise who have been telling the same lies for so long that even they believe them to be true. It is also amazing when everyone knows that it is a lie, but just goes along with it (because usually the liars sense of reality is so warped). As my friend says, and as Weiner found out, "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse."
OMG, why would anyone want to tweet a photo of himself in his underwear--yikes!
Weiner jokes will be all over the news today and as Whoopi said yesterday on the view, if it were a fine package, any man would have already claimed it.
I know people, friends, and otherwise who have been telling the same lies for so long that even they believe them to be true. It is also amazing when everyone knows that it is a lie, but just goes along with it (because usually the liars sense of reality is so warped). As my friend says, and as Weiner found out, "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse."
OMG, why would anyone want to tweet a photo of himself in his underwear--yikes!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
The Event
I am so disgusted by the former governor's deceitful behavior. It reminds me of the "big house" during a dark period of this country's history when the Master could do whatever he wanted with whomever. I cannot believe that he is calling the birth of his son, "the event" as if it is only deserving of a mention.
There is a very thin line between a secret and a lie. I remember that people held secrets dear in the "olden days." Someone would go to New York for the summer and then come back with their "baby cousin." Surprisingly, people are still doing that. I love knowing the truth of the "secrets" some of my friends think they have. I find it interesting that they love living the secret, or what I prefer to call the lie.
One of my friends always says "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse." The "Spermanator" certainly found that out.
Secrets are always harmful to everyone involved. It creates a lifetime of "living on the edge," always wondering when the truth will come out. Last night as part of a lesson I taught, one person said her mother always told her that "Truth is Truth." I knew that was profound, and as these events unfold, I understand its profundity.
Another friend told me that she has concluded that men are dogs. I was thinking about this as I saw Chaz Bono on practically every talk show this week. He talked about how many things are different now that he is a man. His sex drive is stronger and he can hardly stand "small talk." He said that men are not to blame for some of their behavior because it is within them. Hmmm, since he had inhabited both bodies, I imagine he is some kind of an expert in a weird sort of way.
Shame on you Swarzenegger and other secret holders. Truth is truth, and sooner or later, it will come out at the expense of all involved.
There is a very thin line between a secret and a lie. I remember that people held secrets dear in the "olden days." Someone would go to New York for the summer and then come back with their "baby cousin." Surprisingly, people are still doing that. I love knowing the truth of the "secrets" some of my friends think they have. I find it interesting that they love living the secret, or what I prefer to call the lie.
One of my friends always says "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse." The "Spermanator" certainly found that out.
Secrets are always harmful to everyone involved. It creates a lifetime of "living on the edge," always wondering when the truth will come out. Last night as part of a lesson I taught, one person said her mother always told her that "Truth is Truth." I knew that was profound, and as these events unfold, I understand its profundity.
Another friend told me that she has concluded that men are dogs. I was thinking about this as I saw Chaz Bono on practically every talk show this week. He talked about how many things are different now that he is a man. His sex drive is stronger and he can hardly stand "small talk." He said that men are not to blame for some of their behavior because it is within them. Hmmm, since he had inhabited both bodies, I imagine he is some kind of an expert in a weird sort of way.
Shame on you Swarzenegger and other secret holders. Truth is truth, and sooner or later, it will come out at the expense of all involved.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Find Your Sacred Place
I am watching Oprah's show, which I only watch when there is something on which interests me, and she highlighted some of the shows which she thought taught the greatest lessons. One of the people was Toni Morrison, whom I love. She talked about the loss of her son and how she expects to be sad for the rest of her life. She said that if she didn't feel that way, it would be an insult to her son's memory. I immediately called my friend, who lost her daughter recently, and shared that quote. My advice to her was BE SAD!
Once again, I digressed. What really struck me from Toni Morrison was her thought that we all need to find our sacred place--a place where it is Me. She said it may be a room or a garden, but it should be a place. Then it occurred to me that my garden has become my place. I thank two special friends, Val and Lucille! I now understand what you were trying to teach me all of those years!
If you have not yet found one--please find your "sacred place."
Once again, I digressed. What really struck me from Toni Morrison was her thought that we all need to find our sacred place--a place where it is Me. She said it may be a room or a garden, but it should be a place. Then it occurred to me that my garden has become my place. I thank two special friends, Val and Lucille! I now understand what you were trying to teach me all of those years!
If you have not yet found one--please find your "sacred place."
Monday, May 2, 2011
Obama, Osama, and Love
I am very excited by last night's event, but, unfortunately, someone had to die for some people to give the President his props as a leader. For ten years, bin Laden enjoyed his freedom and no one could find him. It was "gangsta" that my beloved President was able to carry out his stealth plan and still remains the coolest ever.
Even when he was roasting "the hairther" at the correspondents' dinner, he knew what was happening in Pakistan. As Sharon Osborne said on The Talk, it also reminded me of Don Corleone when he was at a baby's christening when he knew that mayhem was taking place somewhere else.
President Obama would be a fantastic poker player, because he epitomizes the poker face. He knew how to keep everything close to the chest and it was a surprise to everyone when Sixty Minutes was put on hold last night. I am so, so proud of him.
I was also extremely touched to see him and his wife on Oprah today. The love (and like) that they have for each other was remarkably obvious. The body language was incredible. The hand binding, the looks, and the respect, epitomized what love is really all about. It was a thrilling day!
Even when he was roasting "the hairther" at the correspondents' dinner, he knew what was happening in Pakistan. As Sharon Osborne said on The Talk, it also reminded me of Don Corleone when he was at a baby's christening when he knew that mayhem was taking place somewhere else.
President Obama would be a fantastic poker player, because he epitomizes the poker face. He knew how to keep everything close to the chest and it was a surprise to everyone when Sixty Minutes was put on hold last night. I am so, so proud of him.
I was also extremely touched to see him and his wife on Oprah today. The love (and like) that they have for each other was remarkably obvious. The body language was incredible. The hand binding, the looks, and the respect, epitomized what love is really all about. It was a thrilling day!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Rise Up!
I am sitting here on Resurrection Sunday morning watching the recording of The Ten Commandments which I have seen at least a hundred times. I first saw it on a field trip when I was in elementary school. What I remember most about that experience was the intermission. I had never before seen a movie with an intermission. Now, each year, I look forward to watching it once again. I did not attend church today because our church held what is called "Real Time Resurrection" and the service was held last night. I had never gone to the Saturday service, but was glad I did. The title of the sermon was "You can call it This or You can call it That" (referring to Easter/Resurrection). Interesting lesson.
Last night as I watched the news, they showed a church somewhere in the U.S.A. which did one of those "dance things" for you tube. I have forgotten what it is called, but it is the type of dance where a huge group of people get together, sing and dance. I think Oprah had something like that on one of her shows and they closed down streets in Chicago for that extravaganza. This group had a song written and it was called "Rise Up!" It was a celebration of the Risen Christ, but also implored the listeners to rise up from whatever adversity or obstacle which may be holding them back. I thought, hmmmm, that is also a great lesson. I had never thought about that parallel which now seems so simple. I am experiencing it right now as I watch this movie, because Moses also "rose" up and did what he was called to do. "Rise up" will probably be my new mantra ( I change mantras often). Okay, back to the parting of the Red Sea (my favorite part)!
I like the format of these blogs on the blogspot: freetired@blogspot.com Go there for a different look. I am considering getting a domain name and making these public.
jOy on this day!
Last night as I watched the news, they showed a church somewhere in the U.S.A. which did one of those "dance things" for you tube. I have forgotten what it is called, but it is the type of dance where a huge group of people get together, sing and dance. I think Oprah had something like that on one of her shows and they closed down streets in Chicago for that extravaganza. This group had a song written and it was called "Rise Up!" It was a celebration of the Risen Christ, but also implored the listeners to rise up from whatever adversity or obstacle which may be holding them back. I thought, hmmmm, that is also a great lesson. I had never thought about that parallel which now seems so simple. I am experiencing it right now as I watch this movie, because Moses also "rose" up and did what he was called to do. "Rise up" will probably be my new mantra ( I change mantras often). Okay, back to the parting of the Red Sea (my favorite part)!
I like the format of these blogs on the blogspot: freetired@blogspot.com Go there for a different look. I am considering getting a domain name and making these public.
jOy on this day!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
iSitting
I love technology, especially my iPad and my iPhone which I thought would be redundant. Surprisingly, they both have different purposes although, in many ways, they overlap. I am glad I got the iPhone when Verizon offered it and was not held hostage by AT&T. I never thought it was fair that you had to have AT&T’s plan in order to get an iPhone.
One use that I had not anticipated was that these forms of technology would act as fabulous iSitters. I am fascinated as I watch one grandson on the netbook, another on the iPhone and the four year old on the iPad. It is all second nature to them. Even though the four year old can only read her name, she is able to find YouTube and then find Spongebob. She can also find tic tac toe in the games folder on the iPad and recognizes her name when she wins. All of this gives me a glimpse into the future when even television, as we now know it, will be as obsolete and rotary phones and phone booths are. They will probably have chips in their arms and will be able to connect those to something which will allow instant access.
It intrigues me that they can sit quietly for long periods of time engaged in the interaction that these devices afford. Most of my friends, and others, complain that human interaction will fade away in favor of technological communication. I embrace this new way. Besides, everything goes full circle anyway.
In the meantime, I am enjoying being an iGrandma.
One use that I had not anticipated was that these forms of technology would act as fabulous iSitters. I am fascinated as I watch one grandson on the netbook, another on the iPhone and the four year old on the iPad. It is all second nature to them. Even though the four year old can only read her name, she is able to find YouTube and then find Spongebob. She can also find tic tac toe in the games folder on the iPad and recognizes her name when she wins. All of this gives me a glimpse into the future when even television, as we now know it, will be as obsolete and rotary phones and phone booths are. They will probably have chips in their arms and will be able to connect those to something which will allow instant access.
It intrigues me that they can sit quietly for long periods of time engaged in the interaction that these devices afford. Most of my friends, and others, complain that human interaction will fade away in favor of technological communication. I embrace this new way. Besides, everything goes full circle anyway.
In the meantime, I am enjoying being an iGrandma.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Baskets, Chicken, and Eggs
Yesterday in my drawing class, our assignment was to draw a wicker basket. I must admit that I am getting so much better. I have decided that I am going to have an "ArtShow" featuring my work. I will invite four or five friends and display my work. Once again, I digressed!
When I returned from class and was talking to a friend, she told me that her grandma always told her (what all of our grandma's told us) to never put all of her eggs in one basket. I already knew that quote, but I never actually knew where it came from. A lot of those old quotes I just took to heart, but never delved into the meaning.
She told me that when a hen sits on eggs in order to hatch them, from time to time, she would leave the eggs and go eat or do whatever hens do. The eggs need to be kept warm at all times, and if she leaves, the eggs may not hatch. Because of that, you never put all of your eggs under the same hen, just in case she leaves and they don't hatch.
What have we left "unhatched?" We old hens need to make sure that we "sit on our eggs," keep them warm, and know the importance of caring for our "eggs", whether those eggs are our children, friendships, or whatever is important in our lives.
I did not use my iPad for typing this time. That device is really made for people who type with two fingers. When we good typists try to type using our usual typing formation of our fingers, it results in zillions of typos as you saw in my last unedited post!
When I returned from class and was talking to a friend, she told me that her grandma always told her (what all of our grandma's told us) to never put all of her eggs in one basket. I already knew that quote, but I never actually knew where it came from. A lot of those old quotes I just took to heart, but never delved into the meaning.
She told me that when a hen sits on eggs in order to hatch them, from time to time, she would leave the eggs and go eat or do whatever hens do. The eggs need to be kept warm at all times, and if she leaves, the eggs may not hatch. Because of that, you never put all of your eggs under the same hen, just in case she leaves and they don't hatch.
What have we left "unhatched?" We old hens need to make sure that we "sit on our eggs," keep them warm, and know the importance of caring for our "eggs", whether those eggs are our children, friendships, or whatever is important in our lives.
I did not use my iPad for typing this time. That device is really made for people who type with two fingers. When we good typists try to type using our usual typing formation of our fingers, it results in zillions of typos as you saw in my last unedited post!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
It's a Beautiful Day
A friend forwarded something to me and suggested that I blog about it. Which reminds me, so many of you have sent me comments on my blogs (especially the last one) that I am considering making them public.
The forward was about a blind man who had a sign which said "I am blind." He held the sign as he solicited money. Every now and then someone would drop in a few coins. Upon seeing the sign,he took it from him, turned it over, and wrote something on the back. Almost immediately, almost everyone who passed by put money in his cup. What the stranger had written on the back of the sign was "It is a beautiful day, but I can't see it."
We don't have to be physically blind in order to be blinded. There are many things which "blind" us in our daily lives and prevent us from noticing the beautiful days. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget the things which really matter. In the end, there are very few things which really matter and those are the things on which we should concentrate. For me, it is faith, family, and true friends. I see the beauty in the faces of those whom I love and in the things which give me joy.I hope that the "money" that is put into my cup
is put there because I have been able to see and appreciate the beautiful days.
The forward was about a blind man who had a sign which said "I am blind." He held the sign as he solicited money. Every now and then someone would drop in a few coins. Upon seeing the sign,he took it from him, turned it over, and wrote something on the back. Almost immediately, almost everyone who passed by put money in his cup. What the stranger had written on the back of the sign was "It is a beautiful day, but I can't see it."
We don't have to be physically blind in order to be blinded. There are many things which "blind" us in our daily lives and prevent us from noticing the beautiful days. Sometimes we get so caught up in ourselves that we forget the things which really matter. In the end, there are very few things which really matter and those are the things on which we should concentrate. For me, it is faith, family, and true friends. I see the beauty in the faces of those whom I love and in the things which give me joy.I hope that the "money" that is put into my cup
is put there because I have been able to see and appreciate the beautiful days.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Where You At?
I love Jennifer Hudson. She was on Oprah yesterday and talked about her weight loss, the loss of three members of her family, her son and fiance and her life in general. There were many members of her family at the show because many of them are also participating in the weight watchers program.
I am proud of what she has done with her life, especially after having to deal with an unspeakable tragedy. I am sure that a day does not go by when she does not think about it, but she said that with the help of family, her son, and God, she has been able to move on.
At the end of the show she sang a song from her new album. The song is about a man she loved (or thought she loved) who is never there when she needs him. She gives many examples of what they have shared, what she has done for him and vice versa. The refrain is "Where You At." At first I was appalled by this awful grammatical deliberate snafu, but now that I have thought about it, it was needed.
I know someone whose friend was always there--calls at all hours of the day or night, unannounced visits, laughter, family sharing, being herself, independent,
and not a "friend by appointment." We have to be careful not to let "new" things destroy the old things. As I was doing my daily morning meditation/devotion the verse for today was from Proverbs l8:24: "A man (woman) of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (sister). I was fascinated by this because it made the song more real to me.
We cannot forget those who have been there with us through thick, very thick, and thin. We cannot let solid relationships be ruined because of something or someone who may or may not be there for the long run. We must know ourselves, maintain our independence, be honest and trust friends who are honest. I don't like having people around me who will not tell me the truth. I can dish it out and I can take it.
But more than all of this, I would not want a friend of mine to ever have to write a song about me called "Where You At?" We all need to look at all of our relationships and think about if we have to wonder "Where You At?" Thank you Jennifer.
I am proud of what she has done with her life, especially after having to deal with an unspeakable tragedy. I am sure that a day does not go by when she does not think about it, but she said that with the help of family, her son, and God, she has been able to move on.
At the end of the show she sang a song from her new album. The song is about a man she loved (or thought she loved) who is never there when she needs him. She gives many examples of what they have shared, what she has done for him and vice versa. The refrain is "Where You At." At first I was appalled by this awful grammatical deliberate snafu, but now that I have thought about it, it was needed.
I know someone whose friend was always there--calls at all hours of the day or night, unannounced visits, laughter, family sharing, being herself, independent,
and not a "friend by appointment." We have to be careful not to let "new" things destroy the old things. As I was doing my daily morning meditation/devotion the verse for today was from Proverbs l8:24: "A man (woman) of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother (sister). I was fascinated by this because it made the song more real to me.
We cannot forget those who have been there with us through thick, very thick, and thin. We cannot let solid relationships be ruined because of something or someone who may or may not be there for the long run. We must know ourselves, maintain our independence, be honest and trust friends who are honest. I don't like having people around me who will not tell me the truth. I can dish it out and I can take it.
But more than all of this, I would not want a friend of mine to ever have to write a song about me called "Where You At?" We all need to look at all of our relationships and think about if we have to wonder "Where You At?" Thank you Jennifer.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Black and White Swans
In my quest to see all of the Academy Award nominated films, (I have seen six of ten), a friend and I saw Black Swan a few weeks ago. When we both left the theater, we looked at each other and said "What was that?" We talked about the film during our post movie lunch and couldn't really decide what we thought about it.
The movie was about a ballet dancer who became mad during the film. We were able to see her trek to madness and at times, it was difficult to discern what was real and what was her imagination. It was quite labor intensive.
When I returned home, I posted on Facebook "Just saw the movie Black Swan, hmmm. I always say "hmmm" on FB when I want to elicit a response without first giving my thoughts and impressions. There were almost 40 responses to that post. They were all very interesting.
Some offered comparisons to "A Beautiful Mind," a movie about madness (if I remember correctly). Others attributed her madness to a mother who drove her to it.
This dancer had no trouble dancing the "white swan," but when she had to become the "black swan," she had difficulty. Although I personally reject the idea of white representing good and black representing bad, I press on. In her imagination (I guess), she became a black swan. I think we all have a little black swan in us. Some of us don't know the difference between a black swan and a white swan. Some of us have white swans when we probably need a black swan!
The movie showed the power of the mind. It is an understatement to say that "it plays tricks." It was interesting to see the madness of someone's mind played out on the screen. It was depressing and not pretty. But then, sometimes we probably need to see that to know that we are relatively sane. We all need to get in touch with our Black Swans--there are some we need to keep and some we need to get rid of.
The movie was about a ballet dancer who became mad during the film. We were able to see her trek to madness and at times, it was difficult to discern what was real and what was her imagination. It was quite labor intensive.
When I returned home, I posted on Facebook "Just saw the movie Black Swan, hmmm. I always say "hmmm" on FB when I want to elicit a response without first giving my thoughts and impressions. There were almost 40 responses to that post. They were all very interesting.
Some offered comparisons to "A Beautiful Mind," a movie about madness (if I remember correctly). Others attributed her madness to a mother who drove her to it.
This dancer had no trouble dancing the "white swan," but when she had to become the "black swan," she had difficulty. Although I personally reject the idea of white representing good and black representing bad, I press on. In her imagination (I guess), she became a black swan. I think we all have a little black swan in us. Some of us don't know the difference between a black swan and a white swan. Some of us have white swans when we probably need a black swan!
The movie showed the power of the mind. It is an understatement to say that "it plays tricks." It was interesting to see the madness of someone's mind played out on the screen. It was depressing and not pretty. But then, sometimes we probably need to see that to know that we are relatively sane. We all need to get in touch with our Black Swans--there are some we need to keep and some we need to get rid of.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Chin Up?
It was difficult for me to decide what to call this blog so I will write it and name it when I finish. This week, one of my best friends visited us. She had just lost her 51 year old daughter whose birthday is the day before mine. It just came, no warning, no underlying medical condition. Just happened.
After dropping her off for her trip home, I stopped by the hospital to visit a former student. Many FSF's (former student friends) were sending me Facebook messages and emails suggesting that I should go see her. Although I had not seen her in many years, I went. He eyes lit up when I entered the room (she is around 50 something). She was unable to talk and had to write everything on a white board. She wrote to me and then I took the board and began writing. She grabbed the board from me and told me that I could talk and she could hear. That bit of levity broke the ice. She, a law school graduate, began to write telling me about her ordeal.
It started as a sore throat--doctor told her that it was probably from an infected tooth. Dentist refused to treat her and sent her back to her regular doctor. She decided to go the ER because she had been sleeping a lot and felt drained of energy. Found out that she had a cancerous tumor which has spread to the large artery in her heart. She told me that she has told her 84 year old father that she is ready to make her final arrangements. Another irony, her sister has stage 4 colon cancer and is just a couple of years younger than she.
These events remind me of the fragility and randomness of life. It reminds me that we control nothing. It reminds me to be grateful for health and for each day. It reminds me that we need something to hold on to and I'm glad I have that. It reminds me that friends can be comforting. Even though I had not seen her for years, it was as if I had just seen her the week before. The last thing she wrote on the board was "Congratulations on your new addition." In the midst of all that she was experiencing, she still thought about saying something kind to me.
As I left, I just asked her to be hopeful and to keep her chin up. Chin up? How shallow? It was all I could muster before I rushed to the elevator to meet my husband who sat in the lobby waiting for me. I was down during the drive home as I again considered what my great-grandmother used to say "Sometimes it seems that life is just like a piece of toilet paper." I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to apply.
After dropping her off for her trip home, I stopped by the hospital to visit a former student. Many FSF's (former student friends) were sending me Facebook messages and emails suggesting that I should go see her. Although I had not seen her in many years, I went. He eyes lit up when I entered the room (she is around 50 something). She was unable to talk and had to write everything on a white board. She wrote to me and then I took the board and began writing. She grabbed the board from me and told me that I could talk and she could hear. That bit of levity broke the ice. She, a law school graduate, began to write telling me about her ordeal.
It started as a sore throat--doctor told her that it was probably from an infected tooth. Dentist refused to treat her and sent her back to her regular doctor. She decided to go the ER because she had been sleeping a lot and felt drained of energy. Found out that she had a cancerous tumor which has spread to the large artery in her heart. She told me that she has told her 84 year old father that she is ready to make her final arrangements. Another irony, her sister has stage 4 colon cancer and is just a couple of years younger than she.
These events remind me of the fragility and randomness of life. It reminds me that we control nothing. It reminds me to be grateful for health and for each day. It reminds me that we need something to hold on to and I'm glad I have that. It reminds me that friends can be comforting. Even though I had not seen her for years, it was as if I had just seen her the week before. The last thing she wrote on the board was "Congratulations on your new addition." In the midst of all that she was experiencing, she still thought about saying something kind to me.
As I left, I just asked her to be hopeful and to keep her chin up. Chin up? How shallow? It was all I could muster before I rushed to the elevator to meet my husband who sat in the lobby waiting for me. I was down during the drive home as I again considered what my great-grandmother used to say "Sometimes it seems that life is just like a piece of toilet paper." I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to apply.
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