Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow

I do not know if I was inspired to name this blog because it's Sunday, or because at this moment, I am feeling like the most blessed woman on this planet. I knew that I would be meeting a few FSFs (former student friends) today for brunch. Gina, visiting from Atlanta, asked me a couple of weeks ago if it would be ok to invite a few FSF's to a brunch with me. We have an "I Had Mrs. O" page on Facebook, and many of the FSF's who post there, only know each other through those posts. Gina thought it would be nice to get them together face to face. I thought my biggest challenge of the day would be to waste time between church and the brunch. I had two hours to waste so I went to the Thrift Store (of course) and to the 99 cents store. Before I knew it, it was ll:15 and off the the brunch I went. When I arrived at the restaurant, a FSF met me at the entrance and asked me to wait there a few minutes. When I went in to the space they had reserved, the tables were beautifully set with champagne bottle candles, chocolate boxed candy, roses, and the tables were beautifully arranged. I was shocked to see a beautiful program entitled "When I Think of The Letter "O". Several FSFs wrote short pieces about this topic. It went from Opening Minds, to Optimistic Opportunity, to O'Love, to an Oak Tree. It was "From Those Who Had A Teacher Named Mrs. Oyeshiku! I was given beautiful gifts, the fellowship was fabulous (there were l6 of us there), we saw a couple of other former students who happened to be at the restaurant--they just came over to say hello--and I'm sure the other patrons were wondering what the heck was going on. :-) I am so grateful, so humble, so appreciative, and always, so surprised that they even remember this woman whose name begins with the LETTER O. Someone said that the letter has taken on a life of its own--said it doesn't even belong to Mr. O. (boy, I won't tell him that :-). But, most of all, I thank God from whom all blessings flow, because I am truly blessed. Now I know why my aunt used to always tell me when I would say that I am lucky, that luck has nothing to do with it. Now, I really know the difference! I thank you all for the enduring love. I am surprised each day, even in my freetirement by the love you continue to show to me. I thank Sandra and Gina for their classy event today. I thank those of you who came, and I thank those of you who continue to spread O'Love everywhere. With Much Love, Mrs. O

SQUARE SANDWICHES

Former Student Friends (FSF's) and I share a group on FB. Aside from solving all of the world's problems on the page, we engage in, sometimes, very interesting discourse about almost anything. An interesting question was posed yesterday: "What food did you eat as a child that you hated?" Everyone had various answers from brussel sprouts to chitlins. My answer was grits and oatmeal because I ate both too many times, and to this day, I refuse to eat either. It was very interesting to see what role food plays in our lives. One person's answer intrigued me. She mentioned how when she was in school, everyone had square sandwiches, but she had to take chorizo burritos or scrambled eggs and potato burritos. She said she wanted to hide in the bathroom to eat her lunch. Those words reminded me of how we really are what we eat. As a child of Caribbean themed Miami, I can't survive without a freezer full of conch. I was in Heaven in Nassau last week when I went to an outdoor restaurant "under the bridge" and saw the man take the conch out of the shell and make conch salad. My sister and I ate that fresh salad and relished the memories it brought. Interestingly enough, this is no longer a "square sandwich" world. It is a beautiful new world, where brussel sprouts, tortillas, pho, conch fritters, collard greens, chiltins, and bitter melon, can all be appreciated. There are those who recently relied upon the "square sandwich eaters," and found out that they were not enough. Inclusivity involves letting all foods reign! There is no need to be embarrassed anymore by what we eat, what we look like, what we wear, what we believe, who we love, how we love, when we love. I love this new world order! I am a cross-cultural eater because it reflects my beliefs. So eat, even if it's a square sandwich, recognizing that that is not all there is anymore!

BECAUSE I am Black!

I have refrained from writing during this election cycle, although I have had a few blogs running through my mind. In honor of my birthday yesterday, I decided to blog in honor of the 68th anniversary of my birth. I have no doubt that our POTUS will be re-elected this Tuesday, and I have not wavered in that opinion during this entire vitriolic time. I always believe, optimist that I am, that good wins over evil, even though it may take a little time. A storm during the other folks convention, and a storm a week before the election. We know that after each storm, calm comes, and it will happen in this case. Coincidence, I think not! It is all a part of the Master plan. One of my greatest irritants has been the question "Are you voting for him because he is Black?" My answer is "I am voting for him because I am Black." I have voted all of my Black life, because I am Black. I am voting for him because he is smart; Because has a smart wife; Because is a great father; Because he is cool; Because he knows what he is doing; Because he has a world view and he has lived it (We Former Peace Corps Volunteers love that); Because he has not reacted to the negativity in a silly way; Because he is patient; Because he CARES about people; Because he represents the things I believe in; Because he is trustworthy; Because he is truthful; Because he is proactive; And yes, Because I am Black!

Those People

It is incredibly disgusting to know that the person running for President, "the other guy," has absolutely no relationship with the real world. In this world of total media domination, with the instant cell phone cameras, videos, audio, twitter, FB, instagram, and the rest, it amazes me that anyone anywhere thinks that he/she can say something and no one will know. Just like the layers of an onion, the "other guy's" layers are being peeled away. How dare he say that the 47% who will vote for the POTUS are those dependent upon the government, and furthermore, he "doesn't need THOSE PEOPLE." I don't even know what to call "THOSE PEOPLE" who will vote for him. I would suggest that they try to wake up. I have often said during this president's term, that the sheets have come off, but they continue to come off. In a sick sort of way, it reminded me of the book we did in our book club last month, James Patterson's Alex Cross, The Trial. In it, cothe sheriffs, the police, and those you would supposedly would not suspect (southerners know better), were all sheet wearers at night. As far as I am concerned, same principle. Whatever happens in the dark, or is said in the dark should be able to stand the light, if not, we know that it is evil. What he thought he was saying in the dark, cannot stand the light, and is, therefore, evil. I am sick of the entire group, from the teawhatevers (I refuse to call any of their names), to the one who pretended to forget his key so no one would know he was the one, to the one who also said "If I had been born in Mexico to Mexican parents, I would have been better off." What is that man thinking? He is a disgrace to American politics. It was bad enough that his robotic performances show that he doesn't have an original thought in his head. Our first big hint was when he wanted to bet $10,000--on what planet is he living? My, my, sad, sad. I am glad that I am supporting a man of integrity with a brain, a brainy wife, a lovely family, manners, "coolness," and a relationship with all people, regardless of how ignorant they may seem.

Bamboo Connectedness

Today I began my fifth year in my Sumi e (Japanese brush painting class). The morning began wonderfully because at 6:00 a.m., an East Coast friend called to tell me that yesterday she received a painting (which my husband framed) I sent her--it was a belated 80th birthday gift. She absolutely loved it and already has it on an easel in her living room. So, went I went to my class, my confidence level was in the sky (although, many of the people have been in the class for ten years plus, but I digress). Our subject today was bamboo--the three gentlemen of sumi-e are bamboo, chrysanthemum, and plum. Once you master these three, you are well on your way. Our teacher always demonstrates whatever we are to paint and engages us in conversation as he is doing it. Today he talked about how bamboo roots intertwine and are connected (anyone who has ever grown bamboo can attest to this). This intertwining of the bamboo represents the connectedness of family. How cool is that! So, let us "bamboo up."

Elder Zombies

I never listen to the radio unless I am driving, and I usually listen to NPR. A couple of days ago as I listened, the interview subject was a former journalist who had to be placed in an "assisted living facility" because he had early onset Parkinson's at age 50. He said he had to have help taking a shower, dressing, and doing all of the things he had previously taken for granted Initially, he spent most of his time being depressed, and in order to keep his sanity, he decided to become an observer advocate. Most of the people there were 80 and up (a few in their late seventies), and he said the most depressing part was to see people who had been so vital (doctors, lawyers, PhDs, carpenters, cabinet makers and the like) relegated to this zombie like existence. He spends most of his time playing card games that he has never heard of, just to keep his sanity. He said he does it, not for the card playing, but for the communication. He recalled an incident when he was out--he saw an advertisement for his facility on a bus bench. It showed people dancing--he said he never ever saw anyone dance in all of the years he has been there. He said, what they show on the outside is quite different from what is going on inside, and he was in a fairly fancy place. It all reminded me of one of my favorite shows on PBS, "Waiting for God," which is on every Sunday night. It takes place in a British assisted living place, and Diana, my heroine, lets them get away with nothing. Of course, an elder does not have to be in this place in order to be "zombified." It happens every day when folks look at you as if you must be stupid because you are old.They will deem you invisible, unless you speak up and become an advocate for yourself. Some time ago, a good friend, about 20+ years my senior, told me to never let a doctor begin his/her sentence with "at your age." I will never let anyone begin a sentence with "at your age!" I have known as many dumb and zombified young people as I have known dumb and zombified old people. Unzombie yourself!

NONvention

I am boycotting all things Republican. I have not, and will not, watch the convention, which I have labeled the "nonvention." As I watch the morning and evening news, I am muting the television each time anyone connected to that party is on. Political person that I am, this is the first time in history that I have taken such a stand. The level of vitriol during these political times, is higher than I have ever seen in my entire life. You may have your own opinion of what it is, but in my humble opinion, it is race based, in no uncertain terms. "Take back our country," is a euphemism for let's get the White guy in there like it should be. It is utterly disgusting to watch and hear. All sheets are off; Race has come out of the closet, if it were ever there! Many people refuse to acknowledge the obvious, some folks, are still in denial that it's all race related. I feel sorry for them as they hide behind whatever makes them feel comfortable. As my friend always says "If it doesn't come out in the wash, it will come out in the rinse." I have no doubt that the POTUS will be re-elected. I still have faith, though sometimes feeble, that smarter heads will prevail. It feels like the l950's all over again. The l960's handled a lot of that, just as 2012 will handle this. Even though one of my best friends is related to the repub's vp pick, he still absolutely repulses me. From what I can gather from twitter (I can take the few words about everything there), the nonvention's audience is composed of the people who were on television during the 50's--Ozzie and Harriet, and the rest--remember what those shows looked like? Of course, there were a few poc sprinkled about--staged. It still pains me that one brilliant black woman is a part of that charade--after reading her book, I understand, but it is still painful to watch this Alabaman, born, and bred,use her talents for them. The vote is more important than ever. Unity is so important now. The disrespect shown for women alone, is outrageous! Thank Heavens for the US Open--this is what has occupied my television time while that other nonsense is taking place. I am an Obama Girl!

Santee Saint

I have never written a blog in anyone's memory, but today I feel driven to do so in honor of my friend, Vannetta Griffin, who would be celebrating her sixty-third birthday this Friday, the 6th of July, but that celebration will not take place here, but in someplace so much greater.

When I first joined the church, Vannetta and Harold Moore came to my classroom to welcome me to the church. I asked them "How did you know? It was then that I found out that the church published the names in the church bulletin. That act of kindness stayed with me for a very long time.

She was a sister in Christ, a member of our SICL (Tuesday night Bible study) class, who ALWAYS did her homework. No matter what the assignment of scripture, Vannetta could always be counted upon to have it done. She took her study very seriously. She was a treasure in our class.

Vanetta was the consummate outdoors woman. Her idea of fun was a camping trip with the RV club. She liked to ski, fish, and do anything which related to outdoors. She always promised to take me fishing, but alas, we never had a chance to do it. Santee Lakes was one of her favorite places, and ironically enough, I took our grandchildren there this past Friday, and I had NEVER been there before although we live close. The irony is that, we know that it was not ironic--it was where I was supposed to be--someone was trying to tell me something.

I am thankful that I was able to visit her during her hospitalization, in her home, and in her mother's home during her illness. I am thankful for all of the lunches we shared, the telephone conversations, the visits and the friendship. She was one of the genuinely nice people! I knew her as a parent, having taught both of her children; as a colleague, because she worked at Morse during the time I was there; but most of all, I knew her as a woman who enjoyed her life--totally. She was a supreme mother, grandmother and daughter.

Folks have called to ask if I'm ok--I tell them that I am ok because I know she is ok. When she was initially diagnosed a short 4 1/2 months ago, she called me and told me that she was at peace. She would do whatever the doctors asked, but she knew it wasn't in her hands. That simple sentence also gave me peace.

I will miss her, but I know that she is fishing in SAINTEE!

Coming Around

I have a friend in Atlanta who is one of the best story tellers I know. She is a friend of over 50 years and is also among the funniest people I know. She told me a story about when her father was in the hospital and they wanted him to sign the advance directive. He didn't sign it right away, but when he finally decided to do it, he wanted to add a clause which indicated that he wanted them to wait at leat two weeks before pulling any plug, just in case he "came around." Everybody probably needs two weeks to come around, but then, they must know the difference between "turning around" and "coming around." Some expect those around them to come around, as they pretend to be turning around. In life, no one is responsible for turning anyone else around, and no one has to come around, unless, like my friend's father, they choose to do so. "Turning around" is more labor intensive than "Coming around." Some pretend to turn so that others come. Hmmmmm! Oh, clarity!

Sitting at the BIG TABLE

We had an interesting conversation at my Art Group, the Dee Gees, yesterday. The gathering was at my home and as we sat, eating a wonderful shrimp, chicken, and lettuce salad stuffed in pita bread (thanks to my young friends in the Girlfriend's Recipe club I tried this wonderful recipe), we talked about how, when we were little, on holidays and other times, the children were relegated to a small children's table. It never occurred to any of us to ask to be seated at the big table. I also think that is why I still prefer chicken wings, backs, and the rest, because the old folks ate the breasts at the big table. As we discussed this, it occurred to me, that perhaps that is why many in the generation after us seems to have "entitlement issues." They don't expect to ever sit at the "children's table," but believe they should start at the Big Table, without having to do much (grow up), in order to get there. The Big Table feels better and is more enjoyable when we have earned our way there. I love sitting at the Big Table, and I appreciate the lessons learned at the little one. Unearned Big Table seats will send us unwittingly, back to the little table. Sometimes, the little table is nicer--we don't have to think as much. We didn't have to cook in order to sit there. We don't have to engage in enlightening conversation. In fact, little is required of us. It is merely a training table--it is a good place to learn, if we are listening and paying attention to what is going on at the Big Table. I appreciate my little table experience, just as I am now appreciating the well earned Big Table experience, although, sometimes, it is very labor intensive to be the big girl at the big table.

Big We

Today was very exciting because I saw the Dalai Lama at San Diego State. I was interested in seeing him when he was at Emory, but I was not in Atlanta at the time. The tickets were very difficult to get, as most tickets are these days,thanks to scalping on Craigslist. However, a former student friend surprised me with a ticket when I returned from Boston. We are on a little staycation in Little Itsly for a few days so I took the trolley very early this morning and arrived at 7:30. The trolley from Old Town was packed, all heading to the same place. Great signage everywhere to lead us to the arena. After I got in line, I couldn't even see the end of the line. The doors opened at 7:45 and I found my great seat. I was so close that I didn't have to look at the big screen. We were told beforehand that the doors would close by 9:00, but, alas, that did not happen. By 9:15, every seat was taken. The seating czpacity is over 10,000 (googled it). When he entered, he allowed those with him to go before him, a lesson in humility. After the introduction, he approached the podium, wearing a San Diego State visor. His topic was "Upholding Universal Ethics And Compassion In Challenging Times." It was interesting to me that alongside him at the podium was his translator. His English was perfect, but when a concept escaped him, he nodded, spoke in his language, and was then given the word in English. The series is called "Compassion Without Borders." I was struck by his humor, humility, and "just snother old guyness." It was refreshing in this increasingly ME world. Thoughts which I found interesting: 1. If we forget, there is no need to forgive, it is already done 2. More than anything, we need human relationsgips, especially between parents and children 3 If there are problems in the family, they should be solved in the family, up to the family of an 4 The most importabt thing a person can achieve in life is peace 5 Children need affection and should be made to feel like citizens of the world 6 the best way to find tbe right path if you have lost your way is to know that the future is open, and although there is no guarantee, be open and find a different way with self confidence 7 The way to let go of tbe pain of tbe past is to not let it repeat, To lose hope is negateve, to strengthen the heart is positive. 8 truth and honesty are vital. An honest and truthful life allows us to face all 9. We need creative change. Change one, then the community ... He said that it is up to this generation because he has one eye here and the other eye on the next life. I was inspired by his global view, as well as by his respect for all religions and all people.

Politicalization of Grits

The Republican race continues to amaze and baffle me. Yesterday, as I was watching the local news, I could not believe that grits had become a political pandering issue. After the "frontrunner" said y'all, he proceeded to tell us that he had just eaten grits and cheese and it was great. Then the "other one," the southerner, said, in rebuttal, that maybe the "frontrunner" had eaten grits once, but he has eaten grits many more times. Grits" come on now. What is the relevancy of eating grits to the campaign? What on earth has become of the political process? What will be next? Shrimp fried rice? Lobster rolls? Oatmeal?

There are so many issues to talk about that I can't believe it has come to GRITS? Is anyone listening or paying attention to this decline equal to a Bizarre Foods' episode?

It just makes me love my candidate more and more!

Too bad I don't have HBO and couldn't watch the previous candidate's portrayal in the made for television movie--Game Changer. I'm sure that would have been just as amusing and sad as the "Grits Saga!"

Roberta Flack

Today I picked up at friend at 7:00 a.m. to take her to her first chemotherapy treatment. It was very interesting to see the procedure which would take over 7 hours. There are pre-meds introduced intravenously, then the chemo, and then the saline to clean the veins. First a warm towel like cloth is placed around the arms because they make the veins pop up (never knew that before). There were young people, old people, men and women. All of the staff members were extremely compassionate, as I would think you would have to be to work in this part of the hospital. The other patients were very free with information about the process and the after effects. They offered advice about calling the doctor immediately if anything appears to be going wrong; they advised that she should not try to be a martyr, call at the first sign of trouble. They were telling me this information to transmit for her.

I sat with her for an hour, then in the lobby for an hour. I took lots of stuff to do--my one woman entertainment center (my iPad, my People magazine and my drawing tablet. Finished the magazine, went to the cafeteria for a great turkey burger and brought her a chicken sandwich; did a drawing of some of the Queen's hats (from my People magazine), played Words with Friends and by then the nurse came out to tell me that they would be finished in ten minutes. During the time I was sitting in the lobby, a group of people came in with a therapy dog for the chemo patients-that extended my time in the lobby since I knew she would be happy with the dog (and I'm not a dog person).

We left at 2:30 which was far sooner than I had anticipated. We had a back up plan for pick up just in case she was there beyond 4 p.m. I was happy that I was able to be there for her.

Oh yeah--I called this Roberta Flack because my friend told me that the song which was running through her head as she was anticipating the chemo was the song by Roberta Flack "Killing Me Softly with His Song." We had talked about how someone said that chemo kills you and brings you back to life.

Now, I am off to my Author event this evening, knowing how grateful we should be for good health and good friends.

'I'm Not Running, I'm Choosing"

Yesterday I went to see the movie, Pariah, which is about the coming out of a young girl. I read a review of the movie and it was also recommended by a friend. I don't usually like to attend movies other than those before noon, but because I'm afraid it won't be around long, I went to the 2:15 show at the local theater.

Audre Lorde's poetry resonated throughout the entire movie through the reading of the main character. Now I know why my friend was anxious to find some of Lorde's poems.

There were several things which were interesting to me. First of all, it was an all Black cast (I was happy about the cast because the subject is something which is not discussed enough in our culture) and the main character's name was Alike, a very unusual name. The name was important to me because although it may be African in origin, it also is a symbol of how alike we all are--straight or gay.

Alike was a tomboyish looking girl with a domineering, religious mother and a supporting father, although I think he was cheating on his wife. Perhaps he felt as trapped by the mother as Alike did. Interestingly enough, Alike was not seduced by her very good friend, but by the church girl approved by her mother. She was my least favorite character because she did not want to admit who she really was--she ran and did not choose. It reminded me of so many girls I knew in that age group who also felt the need to run and not choose. I am not sure if that is part of the "coming out" process--I'll have to ask somebody about that.

There was only one thing which absolutely shocked me in the movie, but I decline to add it here, suffice it to say, it involved something which had to be purchased.

I was impressed by Alike's love for her mother, although her mother, clutching her bible, could not find the words to tell her daughter that she loved her. It made me think about the suicide rate in this young population and the angst they live with on a daily basis. I was impressed by the love her younger sister had for her, even though they were complete opposites.

As I sat through this film with about ten other people in the theater, I was further convinced that we all have to be respectful of each other. We must love one another and not expect everyone to live the same lifestyle that we live. Alike, with her strength and brilliance, was able to move on. I liked the movie's ending because it gave me hope that the mother would eventually come around--I was glad that it wasn't all wrapped up in a neat little package.

I have someone to whom I am recommending this movie. As she deals with seeing acceptance from everyone, she needs to know that she cannot expect everyone to necessarily say YAAY, but she has to stand tall, just as Alike did, and be who she is.

Soul

Sister Mary is a nun and a member of my sumi-e class. She had not been in class for a very long time and many of us wondered what happened to her. Quite unexpectedly, she visited the class last Friday along with two other nuns. They didn't look like the nuns of old, and were wearing cool tennis shoes and sequined baseball caps.

Sis Mary was wearing a small brace around her fragile body and told us that she fell and was in rehab for a few weeks. She then told us that she was going to the "Mother's home" near Louisville, Kentucky. The other two nuns will accompany her on the flight and assured us that she will be well taken care of. I imagine that must be a home for "old nuns." Anyway, the class was very emotional because Sister Mary had been quite inspirational to all of us. When I joined the class she was 90. I was shocked one day when I saw her driving and parking. She wasn't the best artist,(who am I to talk) but seemed to get such joy from each class. We all had great affection for her spirit (She will be 94 tomorrow).

As she began to tell us why she just had to come to bid us farewell, she said that Sumi-e was her soul! That statement just struck me as extremely profound. Another member of the class said "She really got it." It made me wonder about what my soul is. I know that Tony ranks #1 (I am excluding the obvious spiritual component), primary family, extended family, Miami, true friends (shortened list),and all of the things which give me joy. We all need to think about our soul--what is it? I, too, include Sumi-e because that" yoga art for the mind" is almost as meditative as a prayer.