Dear Cruise,
The day has arrived: you're officially an adult! My, how the years have flown. And yet, I feel like I’ve soaked up every bit of the goodness you've
brought into my life over the past eighteen years. Through all the struggles,tears, and worries, my greatest memories are filled with joy, laughter,
simplicity, and love. As I’ve looked through the thousands of photos I’ve taken of you, I’m reminded of each stage, each one full of wonder and curiosity. Your love of space, then science, birds, and Pokémon. I’ve been there for your happiest moments and your most heartbreaking ones. I’ve stood in awe as your testimony and relationship with your Savior and Heavenly Father have deepened and grown.
I often think back to when you were just a toddler and going to
church was really hard. Back then it was a three-hour block, and you just
couldn't sit still. It was too loud, too slow, too people-y. Your dad and I
would spend most of the time walking around the building with you. I struggled
in that ward, with the people and with the Bishop. It didn't feel welcoming, and
I didn't have close friends. Every Sunday morning I’d wake up and cry, knowing
we were heading into another difficult Sabbath day. There was a point where I
seriously considered stopping church altogether. I prayed about it constantly. I
felt like none of us were getting anything out of it except stress and
exhaustion. But one day, after another desperate prayer, I got a very clear
answer: Keep going. Don’t give up. I was promised that if we kept attending, we
would be blessed, especially you and your brothers. So we kept going. It didn't
get easier for a while, but we stayed. And now, when I see you sitting in the
pew, feeling the Spirit, walking to the pulpit to share your testimony, or
pausing to pray when you need direction or comfort, I think back to that moment.
Back then, I couldn't see past the next Sunday, but God could. He knew how hard
it was, and how discouraged I felt. But He also knew who you were becoming: one
of His strongest warriors. I’m in awe of you. I admire your desire and
willingness to serve a mission. Ever since you were little, you've wanted to
serve. Just remember, when things get hard, when you question your testimony or
feel overwhelmed by what the Lord asks of you, remember that Mom did too. I made
a choice, and it has blessed our whole family. You will be blessed too.
Your senior year of high school gave you a chance to relax a little and try new
things. Becoming a Peer Tutor was such a powerful experience for you. You told
me how it gave you insight—that you understood what it was like to be in Special
Ed and also what it was like to be on the outside looking in. That kind of
empathy is rare, and it brought you to tears. It made you a better Peer Tutor,
and it made you an advocate for those who can’t always advocate for themselves.
This past year, you graduated high school with all A’s and made the Honor Roll.
You faced hard choices and chose to find a job instead of going straight to
college. That decision led you to cashiering at Target, a job you genuinely
enjoy. You’re such a hard worker, and you light up when you're serving others,
whether that’s helping customers, handing out stickers to kids, or just
connecting with people. You’re discovering what you love and what you don’t.
You’re learning who you are in the grown-up world. (Spoiler alert: no one ever
fully figures it out, we’re all still learning and growing, and that’s okay.) As
you step into adulthood, you'll make decisions that shape your life in
unexpected ways. But I promise, if you make those choices prayerfully, with the
Spirit as your guide, even the hard ones will lead you where you're meant to be.
Cruise, young adulthood is such an exciting time. You have a new freedom that’s
thrilling, but also a little daunting. It’s like learning how to walk all over
again except now you have bills. Ha! But truly, this can be one of the most fun
and transformative times of your life. Here are three pieces of advice I want
you to give you:
1. Serve. Serving others not only helps them, it changes you.
It will bring you closer to your Savior and help you become more like Him.
2. Travel. See the world. Experience new cultures, places, and people. It will
broaden your mind and soften your heart. Once you're married with kids, it
becomes harder, so go now, while you can.
3. Have fun! Find your people. Develop hobbies. Try new things. Laugh a lot. Enjoy the moment.
Cruise, I love you. I love your kindness. I love your morning hugs and your goodnight hugs. I love
that you thank me for feeding you, even when the meal wasn’t your favorite. I
love that you’re obedient and help out, whether it’s cleaning the bathroom or
walking Charles (even when you’d rather not). I love that you love your brothers
and want to be with them. I love that you think and feel deeply, that you
question and explore things you don’t understand. I love that you advocate for
yourself and speak up when something isn’t right—that’s rare and brave. I love
that when you say “I love you,” it’s with that huge smile you’ve had since you
were a baby. Pure and full of love.
I will always be here for you. Dad and I will always be in your corner. You’re a man now, with a wide-open life ahead of
you. But you’ll always be my baby—the little boy with a backpack full of toys,
heading off on an adventure. Fearless.
God gave me the most important job in the world: to be your mom. I hope I haven’t traumatized you too much. I am so
incredibly amazed by who you are and the man you're becoming. You are good,
Cruise. You’re a good man. And I am so proud to call you my son. It is the
greatest honor of my life to be your Mom.
Happy 18th Birthday, Cruise. I just love you, so very, very much.
Love,
Mom
