CD1 was hellish. Horrible back cramps. It felt like there was a knife passing through my lower back into my uterus and out my front. Not so great.
We did purchase Vitex and I have been taking 35 drops for the past 2 mornings. Next month I will probably do both AM and PM.
It has seemed during this TOM time, I am not uber focused on my body, so I have time to stress over other issues..mainly my National Board work and my sister's wedding.
I guess its always something...2008 is already a packed year..well at least March/April/May already are!
In other news, we are supposed to get 10-12 inches tonight/tomorrow. I could use a snow day right about now!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
BFN
Blood.
Can anyone who has every used Vitex leave me some words of wisdom in my comments?
We bought some yesterday and I would like to know your experiences. Do you take it every day? Is there a certain vitamin regimen you are on (besides the traditional pre-nate)? Any help would be..well...helpful. The only vitamins I take are my 2 chewable flintstones. I have a hard time swallowing pills, so my doc recommended these.
Oh, and I have to write this down somewhere incase something happens on that day. In my dream, an Amish? pastor told both B and I that we would know on May 16th. Previous to telling us this, he told us to move until then. It was a weird dream. I think the symbolism has more to do with our new found church that we love than anything to do with TTC, but we shall see.
Can anyone who has every used Vitex leave me some words of wisdom in my comments?
We bought some yesterday and I would like to know your experiences. Do you take it every day? Is there a certain vitamin regimen you are on (besides the traditional pre-nate)? Any help would be..well...helpful. The only vitamins I take are my 2 chewable flintstones. I have a hard time swallowing pills, so my doc recommended these.
Oh, and I have to write this down somewhere incase something happens on that day. In my dream, an Amish? pastor told both B and I that we would know on May 16th. Previous to telling us this, he told us to move until then. It was a weird dream. I think the symbolism has more to do with our new found church that we love than anything to do with TTC, but we shall see.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Another drop
My temp dropped below the coverline this morning.
So now we wait for CD1.
I know we are so very fortunate to have a KD and friend that is willing to help us on our endeavor to start a family. It's a wonderful gift that saves us a ton of money each try.
I do wish, however, that my cycles were more of a normal length. I feel cheated about the number of times we get to try. For example, the cycle before this one started on Nov. 6th. I O'ed on CD23. This cycle began on Dec. 12th. I O'ed on CD35. So we have been "trying" since November, and have only been able to try twice.
I know I should be grateful that I am even ovulating on my own, but I guess I am being impatient. It is something I need to work on.
B and I discussed to try for 2 more cycles (which could technically be 4 months with the way my body works) before seeking medical help. Our KD could leave for grad school in as little as 4 months...everything happens for a reason.
So now we wait for CD1.
I know we are so very fortunate to have a KD and friend that is willing to help us on our endeavor to start a family. It's a wonderful gift that saves us a ton of money each try.
I do wish, however, that my cycles were more of a normal length. I feel cheated about the number of times we get to try. For example, the cycle before this one started on Nov. 6th. I O'ed on CD23. This cycle began on Dec. 12th. I O'ed on CD35. So we have been "trying" since November, and have only been able to try twice.
I know I should be grateful that I am even ovulating on my own, but I guess I am being impatient. It is something I need to work on.
B and I discussed to try for 2 more cycles (which could technically be 4 months with the way my body works) before seeking medical help. Our KD could leave for grad school in as little as 4 months...everything happens for a reason.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
=(
Huge temp drop this morning. Still above cover line...but -0.4
I'm feeling very AF-y.
I didn't want to get out of bed this morning after taking my temp. I fell back asleep and cried in my dream.
I'm feeling very AF-y.
I didn't want to get out of bed this morning after taking my temp. I fell back asleep and cried in my dream.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
That feeling...
All day, I have felt that leaking feeling...you know the feeling you get when you just start your period?
No period though. No spotting. Maybe it's watery CM? (Which happened to me last month right before my period.)
I don't know what this feeling is. Weird.
In other news, I have had no period symptoms, which also means no pregnancy symptoms either...except yesterday and today I have had some slightly sore boobs. That's it.
We took a test this morning (11DPO) and it was still negative.
No period though. No spotting. Maybe it's watery CM? (Which happened to me last month right before my period.)
I don't know what this feeling is. Weird.
In other news, I have had no period symptoms, which also means no pregnancy symptoms either...except yesterday and today I have had some slightly sore boobs. That's it.
We took a test this morning (11DPO) and it was still negative.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Still Negative
We tested again this morning with a FRER..no second line.
Only 10DPO, so still early.
Funny thing though...last night we bought a 2 pack of the digital tests that spell it right out for you "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Anyway, I took the test. For some reason, we got an error message and checked the instructions that said to retest in 30 minutes. We figured, it was a sign that it was still too early and we should save the other test for 11DPO.
Anyway, after ejecting the stick, there were 2 lines. One dark control line, and another very faint blue one right there next to it. Now, I know you are not supposed to even look at those lines, and Meg at pee on a stick says "its best to trust the words and not the lines," but looking at the bottom pictures gives me just a little bit of positive hope.
Only 10DPO, so still early.
Funny thing though...last night we bought a 2 pack of the digital tests that spell it right out for you "pregnant" or "not pregnant." Anyway, I took the test. For some reason, we got an error message and checked the instructions that said to retest in 30 minutes. We figured, it was a sign that it was still too early and we should save the other test for 11DPO.
Anyway, after ejecting the stick, there were 2 lines. One dark control line, and another very faint blue one right there next to it. Now, I know you are not supposed to even look at those lines, and Meg at pee on a stick says "its best to trust the words and not the lines," but looking at the bottom pictures gives me just a little bit of positive hope.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
9DPO
Too early to test, but of course I did.
Got the expected results.
Will test again tomorrow.
I think if I have one more day at this second elevated temperature, FF is going to suggest a triphasic temp pattern. We'll see.
Got the expected results.
Will test again tomorrow.
I think if I have one more day at this second elevated temperature, FF is going to suggest a triphasic temp pattern. We'll see.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Memememememe
We were tagged by Reproducing Genius for this lovely meme that has been circulating for a while now. I'll take the time to do it this morning, but if B wants to do it later, she can too!Thanks for the welcome distraction from this TWW (7DPO today).
The Rules:
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6) Let the fun begin!
a. I put my deodorant on with one hand. The deodorant never leaves my right hand. I thought that was how everyone put theirs on until B saw me do it that way one day and questioned my
theory.
b. I hardly ever wear make-up. I maybe put it on 3-4 times a year.
c. I have a slight obsession with children’s books. My classroom is so full of them even the other teachers comment on my vast array of books. I don’t even have the whole collection out for use since I have more boxed up at home and school.
d. I can type very fast, but I press the space bar with my pointer finger on my right
hand.
e. My dad was the only one of his brother and sister born in America. My aunt and uncle and the rest of my dad’s family were all born in Scotland.
f. I’m pretty crafty. I like to make things. I’m not an expert at anything, but I’ll try!
a. I put my deodorant on with one hand. The deodorant never leaves my right hand. I thought that was how everyone put theirs on until B saw me do it that way one day and questioned my
theory.
b. I hardly ever wear make-up. I maybe put it on 3-4 times a year.
c. I have a slight obsession with children’s books. My classroom is so full of them even the other teachers comment on my vast array of books. I don’t even have the whole collection out for use since I have more boxed up at home and school.
d. I can type very fast, but I press the space bar with my pointer finger on my right
hand.
e. My dad was the only one of his brother and sister born in America. My aunt and uncle and the rest of my dad’s family were all born in Scotland.
f. I’m pretty crafty. I like to make things. I’m not an expert at anything, but I’ll try!
I think that many people have been tagged, so I apologize if you already have, but I choose:
Amy and Melissa
Amy and Melissa
Saturday, January 19, 2008
You know what I love...
CROSSHAIRS!
Of course the "Advanced" method did not detect the ovulation, I had to switch it to "Research," but it's there, and that is all that matters.
Stick little Sprout, stick!
Of course the "Advanced" method did not detect the ovulation, I had to switch it to "Research," but it's there, and that is all that matters.
Look at how long this cycle has been already!
4DPO, which for me, is about 1/3 of the way there.Stick little Sprout, stick!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Sprout it is!
So Sprout is a perfect name. Thanks for your input!
B insists on calling me SOCC (Sock) because I am a "Sack of cells carrier"
Grrrrrrrreeeeeeeat.
At least she means it as a term of endearment.
I bought a new thermometer yesterday. Not quite as high as yesterday, but still above the predicted coverline.
2 days down....12 more to go.
B insists on calling me SOCC (Sock) because I am a "Sack of cells carrier"
Grrrrrrrreeeeeeeat.
At least she means it as a term of endearment.
I bought a new thermometer yesterday. Not quite as high as yesterday, but still above the predicted coverline.
2 days down....12 more to go.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
TWW
We are officially in the TWW...well not technically "official" since FF needs 3 days of high temps, but I got my temp rise this morning, even with the faulty thermometer.
I am on CD36 and I am almost certain that FF will put the big O on CD35.
We did one insem on CD34(day I got the positive OPK) and another on CD35.
Let's pray for rain here.
B and I were talking the other night about what we are going to call the little growing group of cells once we get those 2 pink lines. So far we have heard: bug, peanut, pumpkin, moon, flower(s), bean, speck, tot, dragon and others. Of course, we want our own little name, so we were thinking about 2 choices: pea (but B thinks this reminds her too much of pee..ew!) or sprout.
What do our blog friends think?
I am on CD36 and I am almost certain that FF will put the big O on CD35.
We did one insem on CD34(day I got the positive OPK) and another on CD35.
Let's pray for rain here.
B and I were talking the other night about what we are going to call the little growing group of cells once we get those 2 pink lines. So far we have heard: bug, peanut, pumpkin, moon, flower(s), bean, speck, tot, dragon and others. Of course, we want our own little name, so we were thinking about 2 choices: pea (but B thinks this reminds her too much of pee..ew!) or sprout.
What do our blog friends think?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Weird Thermometers
I had already resounded the fact that I would purchase a new thermometer when AF arrived. I have two on my bedside table. A white one and a purple one. The purple one gives me temps to the hundredth degree, which I like, but it is so fritzy it has needed a new battery for a while. Every now and again if I hit the button just right, I can get a reading.
For this past cycle, my white thermometer has been giving me 97.6/97.7 readings for days in a row. I thought I was just regular, at least when it comes to temperature. However, I am a little confused now. I have tried them at the same time and the results are different. Now I know that neither is reliable, so who knows. I will definitely be purchasing another one ASAP.
My temp this morning from the white thermometer was 97.7. I shut it off, tried again (all while trying to stay very still) and it was 98.1. The purple one said something in between those, I think 97.89.
But really, why should I obsess. I am going to just prepare for rain and have a beautiful day like I had yesterday.
We will hopefully do one more insem this evening and then call this cycle done. =)
For this past cycle, my white thermometer has been giving me 97.6/97.7 readings for days in a row. I thought I was just regular, at least when it comes to temperature. However, I am a little confused now. I have tried them at the same time and the results are different. Now I know that neither is reliable, so who knows. I will definitely be purchasing another one ASAP.
My temp this morning from the white thermometer was 97.7. I shut it off, tried again (all while trying to stay very still) and it was 98.1. The purple one said something in between those, I think 97.89.
But really, why should I obsess. I am going to just prepare for rain and have a beautiful day like I had yesterday.
We will hopefully do one more insem this evening and then call this cycle done. =)
Monday, January 14, 2008
Speechless
I just got a positive OPK. CD34.
Yes. You read that correctly.
Now if only I could convince myself that my eyes are not wrong. There are two lines there. They are the same color. That means positive, right?
*Edit*
6:30pm. KD is going to provide us with a sample this evening.
We will probably do another insem tomorrow or Wednesday as well.
What an amazing friend we have as a donor. How wonderful is he?
Yes. You read that correctly.
Now if only I could convince myself that my eyes are not wrong. There are two lines there. They are the same color. That means positive, right?
*Edit*
6:30pm. KD is going to provide us with a sample this evening.
We will probably do another insem tomorrow or Wednesday as well.
What an amazing friend we have as a donor. How wonderful is he?
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I'm preparing for rain.
We've been doing a lot of soul-searching for the past month or so.
I don't know if we have ever written this story down and B is clearly the better story teller, but I will do my best to document our little trial of finding a church.
B and I were both raised Catholic. I attended Catholic school until 2nd grade, but she went all 12 years. My mom would attend church occasionally, but my dad only set foot in one for our baptisms. He even left during my confirmation mass to "go check the chicken" for my party.
My parents had these Baptist friends that would take us (my sister and I) to their weekly kid's program (AWANA-which I think is a national program that is still around today). Anyway, through the Baptist Wednesday night program, Catholic mass, catechism and youth group, as well as a plethora of vacation bible schools, I was immersed in Christianity....and I loved it.
(On a side note, I used to pray to God every night, over and over "Please do not let me be a lesbian..." before I truly even knew what a lesbian was.)
Anyway, when I finally came out to myself (and others) I figured it was either be true to myself or be a Christian. I stopped going to my Campus Crusade for Christ meetings and grew apart from my Christian friends, both of which I loved. I didn't, however, quite stop attending services.
When B and I got together I would ask her to go to church with me. It was always no. I remember one Easter season she said yes. I was so excited. Right before we were about to leave, she changed her mind. I was devastated. I wanted this woman who I was beginning to love to share the love of Christ with me. She just wasn't ready.
Fast forward 3-4 years.
After living in our house for a few months, I decided to go check out The Big Church down the street. TBC was nothing I was used to. It was "non-denominational" (although originally it was founded under the Baptist doctrine) and very contemporary. The worship songs that were sung there were fun and uplifting. In fact, the entire service felt that way.
Something happened within B and she was ready to give TBC a chance. Once I got her in those doors, she was hooked, perhaps even more than I was! We attended for almost a year. I became a Sunday School teacher and youth volunteer. B was looking into some Bible Study groups. Nothing was ever said about us being gay, but no one seemed to notice. We decided to sit down with the pastor to find out the church's position.
That didn't go so well. He basically said he has never had to deal with the "gay" situation before. He said we would be welcome in the church, but we would have to hide our lifestyle or become celibate.
We prayed a lot about that meeting and decided that we did not believe that God was asking us to become celibate and live as friends. We left TBC and never went back.
Its been a year or two since we left TBC and we haven't been to any others (save one Christmas Eve mass at a random church down the street). Well last Sunday we were invited to witness one of B's coworkers pass on his youth minister job to the next guy. We went. It was nice. Throughout the week I even started listening a little more to the Christian music I used to love so much.
Today, we went to a different church. A Unity church. A gay-affirming church. A church formerly led by Marianne Williamson (ironically enough, I went once when I was younger when she was there). The message today was to believe in yourself. To prepare yourself for what God has in store for you. Prepare for God's abundant blessings. I kept relating the message back to our TTC process. I am taking on a new attitude and I am going to need some help to keep up this positive outlook.
When we returned from our errands after church, we put in the movie Facing the Giants that we had rented last night. What an amazing and uplifting movie. Nothing tugs at my heartstrings more than Jesus and infertility (and a good underdog football team).
I have decided that I am going to start preparing for rain with this baby-makin. I'm ready when You are!
I took an OPK after the movie-perhaps hoping for a miracle sign from the Big Guy. CD33. What are the chances that I would get an allllllllllllllmost positive OPK?
Everything happens for a reason. I'm just waiting for the rain.
I don't know if we have ever written this story down and B is clearly the better story teller, but I will do my best to document our little trial of finding a church.
B and I were both raised Catholic. I attended Catholic school until 2nd grade, but she went all 12 years. My mom would attend church occasionally, but my dad only set foot in one for our baptisms. He even left during my confirmation mass to "go check the chicken" for my party.
My parents had these Baptist friends that would take us (my sister and I) to their weekly kid's program (AWANA-which I think is a national program that is still around today). Anyway, through the Baptist Wednesday night program, Catholic mass, catechism and youth group, as well as a plethora of vacation bible schools, I was immersed in Christianity....and I loved it.
(On a side note, I used to pray to God every night, over and over "Please do not let me be a lesbian..." before I truly even knew what a lesbian was.)
Anyway, when I finally came out to myself (and others) I figured it was either be true to myself or be a Christian. I stopped going to my Campus Crusade for Christ meetings and grew apart from my Christian friends, both of which I loved. I didn't, however, quite stop attending services.
When B and I got together I would ask her to go to church with me. It was always no. I remember one Easter season she said yes. I was so excited. Right before we were about to leave, she changed her mind. I was devastated. I wanted this woman who I was beginning to love to share the love of Christ with me. She just wasn't ready.
Fast forward 3-4 years.
After living in our house for a few months, I decided to go check out The Big Church down the street. TBC was nothing I was used to. It was "non-denominational" (although originally it was founded under the Baptist doctrine) and very contemporary. The worship songs that were sung there were fun and uplifting. In fact, the entire service felt that way.
Something happened within B and she was ready to give TBC a chance. Once I got her in those doors, she was hooked, perhaps even more than I was! We attended for almost a year. I became a Sunday School teacher and youth volunteer. B was looking into some Bible Study groups. Nothing was ever said about us being gay, but no one seemed to notice. We decided to sit down with the pastor to find out the church's position.
That didn't go so well. He basically said he has never had to deal with the "gay" situation before. He said we would be welcome in the church, but we would have to hide our lifestyle or become celibate.
We prayed a lot about that meeting and decided that we did not believe that God was asking us to become celibate and live as friends. We left TBC and never went back.
Its been a year or two since we left TBC and we haven't been to any others (save one Christmas Eve mass at a random church down the street). Well last Sunday we were invited to witness one of B's coworkers pass on his youth minister job to the next guy. We went. It was nice. Throughout the week I even started listening a little more to the Christian music I used to love so much.
Today, we went to a different church. A Unity church. A gay-affirming church. A church formerly led by Marianne Williamson (ironically enough, I went once when I was younger when she was there). The message today was to believe in yourself. To prepare yourself for what God has in store for you. Prepare for God's abundant blessings. I kept relating the message back to our TTC process. I am taking on a new attitude and I am going to need some help to keep up this positive outlook.
When we returned from our errands after church, we put in the movie Facing the Giants that we had rented last night. What an amazing and uplifting movie. Nothing tugs at my heartstrings more than Jesus and infertility (and a good underdog football team).
I have decided that I am going to start preparing for rain with this baby-makin. I'm ready when You are!
I took an OPK after the movie-perhaps hoping for a miracle sign from the Big Guy. CD33. What are the chances that I would get an allllllllllllllmost positive OPK?
Everything happens for a reason. I'm just waiting for the rain.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Not gonna do it!
I made a decision this morning.
I am not going to take my temp from now until CD1 appears, and then continue the boycott until AF is over.
Who would have thought that one little decision would make me feel so bad ass. =)
Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to piss off any fertility gods or S/He-Who-Shall-Make-You-Pregnant, or even the big JC, but I'm not gonna do it! And no one can make me.
CD31
I am not going to take my temp from now until CD1 appears, and then continue the boycott until AF is over.
Who would have thought that one little decision would make me feel so bad ass. =)
Now don't get me wrong, I don't want to piss off any fertility gods or S/He-Who-Shall-Make-You-Pregnant, or even the big JC, but I'm not gonna do it! And no one can make me.
CD31
Thursday, January 10, 2008
The Waiting Game
I knew that when we starting this whole TTC process that there was going to be a lot of waiting involved. Heck, there was a bunch of "waiting" just to start this process.
I never realized just exactly how much waiting there was going to be...and the different kinds of waiting, and how difficult waiting can be when your hormones are all over the place.
First you wait for your period to end.
Then you wait for ovulation.
Then you wait to test.
Then you wait for blood/positive.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Until you do the big 9 month wait.
Right now I am waiting for CD1. Somehow on an anovulatory cycle, this wait is harder. Well, maybe not harder, but different. I just want to get this cycle over, but I am also a little scared about the next one. What if I don't ovulate again?! Of course this fear may be a little irrational at this point, but its still there, in the back of my head.
I appreciate the kind words y'all have left in our comments. Thank you.
I know this is going to be a long and sometimes tumultuous journey, so I guess I just have to get used to waiting.
I never realized just exactly how much waiting there was going to be...and the different kinds of waiting, and how difficult waiting can be when your hormones are all over the place.
First you wait for your period to end.
Then you wait for ovulation.
Then you wait to test.
Then you wait for blood/positive.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Until you do the big 9 month wait.
Right now I am waiting for CD1. Somehow on an anovulatory cycle, this wait is harder. Well, maybe not harder, but different. I just want to get this cycle over, but I am also a little scared about the next one. What if I don't ovulate again?! Of course this fear may be a little irrational at this point, but its still there, in the back of my head.
I appreciate the kind words y'all have left in our comments. Thank you.
I know this is going to be a long and sometimes tumultuous journey, so I guess I just have to get used to waiting.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Low
CBEFM went back to low this morning.
Yesterday I was clearly moody and emotional and it seems my funk has continued today.
Back pain too.
Hopefully AF is right around the corner so we can just move on.
Yesterday I was clearly moody and emotional and it seems my funk has continued today.
Back pain too.
Hopefully AF is right around the corner so we can just move on.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Anovulatory?
Maybe this will just be an anovulatory month.
If that's the case, how will I know when AF is coming? How can I be prepared?
Today was day 13 of high on the CBEFM. I am still showing negative on the OPKs. Although, they soooooo want to be positive. The lines are there everyday, just not dark enough.
Its frustrating, but oh well. I can't do anything about it, so I will just continue to test until AF arrives.
Today is also back to work for me after having a glorious 2 weeks off. Oh how I love being home. I am not one of those people that get bored when off. I love it. I would make a wonderful housewife. =)
Going back to work will help the slight obsession over OPKs though. I most likely will not do one at school, but instead wait until I get home this evening. Too many other things to keep my mind busy.
Randomly I have been having "hot flashes" these past two weeks. I wonder if that has anything to do with my hormones. Its like an inner heat that radiates throughout my body, and then all of a sudden I am cold again. Yet, the Basal thermometer consistently reads 97.5-97.7 . I guess there is one place my body is consistent.
If that's the case, how will I know when AF is coming? How can I be prepared?
Today was day 13 of high on the CBEFM. I am still showing negative on the OPKs. Although, they soooooo want to be positive. The lines are there everyday, just not dark enough.
Its frustrating, but oh well. I can't do anything about it, so I will just continue to test until AF arrives.
Today is also back to work for me after having a glorious 2 weeks off. Oh how I love being home. I am not one of those people that get bored when off. I love it. I would make a wonderful housewife. =)
Going back to work will help the slight obsession over OPKs though. I most likely will not do one at school, but instead wait until I get home this evening. Too many other things to keep my mind busy.
Randomly I have been having "hot flashes" these past two weeks. I wonder if that has anything to do with my hormones. Its like an inner heat that radiates throughout my body, and then all of a sudden I am cold again. Yet, the Basal thermometer consistently reads 97.5-97.7 . I guess there is one place my body is consistent.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Another kind of wait
Snoop D-O-double-g is not one of my favorite musical artists, but his song "drop it like it's hot" has been running through my mind over the past several days while we wait for J to ovulate. I've tried singing it to her belly to no avail; perhaps her egg is highly offended by such a chauvinistic tune.
I feel kind of lost in this whole timing piece. With insemination my role is crystal clear - I inseminate. And do other fun things. But right now...this bit before insemination (and yet, after, as we haven't quite perfected our timing yet) while she tests and re-tests and wakes up at 4:00am every day to take her temperature...I feel a little bit...lost. I know there really isn't much for me to do right now but be as supportive and loving as possible, but as the days go past she is getting more and more frustrated with her body. It's pretty hard to watch the person you care most about becoming increasingly emotional and over something she has absolutely no control over.
I've tried to keep her as calm, relaxed and happy as possible. Last night we had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and today we went to see a movie (Juno, by the way. Which was absolutely great, but then again maybe a pregnancy movie wasn't the best choice right now...) and spent a lot of time lounging around the house. Tomorrow will be spent relaxing some more, but I know that shopping for super discounts always cheers her up too so we might do some of that. Sunday we have plans to go to church (for a work friend of mine) and perhaps stop by my mom's for a little bit. Not that I want to stuff our weekend together full of activity to keep her mind preoccupied - but I feel like I have to keep her busy to keep her mind off the OPKs and fertility monitor sticks for at least a couple hours a day.
Any of you "other" mothers out there have any pearls of wisdom for me?
I feel kind of lost in this whole timing piece. With insemination my role is crystal clear - I inseminate. And do other fun things. But right now...this bit before insemination (and yet, after, as we haven't quite perfected our timing yet) while she tests and re-tests and wakes up at 4:00am every day to take her temperature...I feel a little bit...lost. I know there really isn't much for me to do right now but be as supportive and loving as possible, but as the days go past she is getting more and more frustrated with her body. It's pretty hard to watch the person you care most about becoming increasingly emotional and over something she has absolutely no control over.
I've tried to keep her as calm, relaxed and happy as possible. Last night we had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and today we went to see a movie (Juno, by the way. Which was absolutely great, but then again maybe a pregnancy movie wasn't the best choice right now...) and spent a lot of time lounging around the house. Tomorrow will be spent relaxing some more, but I know that shopping for super discounts always cheers her up too so we might do some of that. Sunday we have plans to go to church (for a work friend of mine) and perhaps stop by my mom's for a little bit. Not that I want to stuff our weekend together full of activity to keep her mind preoccupied - but I feel like I have to keep her busy to keep her mind off the OPKs and fertility monitor sticks for at least a couple hours a day.
Any of you "other" mothers out there have any pearls of wisdom for me?
CD24 and still waiting for ovulation
We had to run to the local drug store tonight to purchase more OPKs. I ran out. Again. I ordered 50 more strips online 2 days ago, (as well as some Pre Seed), but I knew they wouldn't arrive in time, and I didn't want to be stressing, so we splurged...on the Walgreen's brand.
I don't expect a peak on my monitor anymore. I figure the OPK will detect the surge the day before and the peak will follow the following morning. That is what happened last month, so that is what I am expecting, but we all know that life doesn't always give you what you are expecting...so I still wait.
For reference, I am including my three past FF charts for me to look at and compare. Although, I am not fully sure I can even do that since I had surgery on August21st (laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, cystectomy, and D&C), my whole cycle was a little whack. Perhaps my cycle is still getting in the swing of things? My ob/gyn did say that I should have no problem getting pregnant...but what does she know!
What do you think:
November's Chart:
Current chart:
Ovulation...where are you?
I have now had 10 days of high on my CBEFM during my second month. I was happy to hear from Jude that sometimes it takes the monitor a few months to get in sync (or N*Sync for that matter...oh dear,I am such a dork!) with your body.
I don't expect a peak on my monitor anymore. I figure the OPK will detect the surge the day before and the peak will follow the following morning. That is what happened last month, so that is what I am expecting, but we all know that life doesn't always give you what you are expecting...so I still wait.
For reference, I am including my three past FF charts for me to look at and compare. Although, I am not fully sure I can even do that since I had surgery on August21st (laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, cystectomy, and D&C), my whole cycle was a little whack. Perhaps my cycle is still getting in the swing of things? My ob/gyn did say that I should have no problem getting pregnant...but what does she know!
What do you think:
September's chart. (Starts 36 days after surgery)
November's Chart:
Current chart:
Ovulation...where are you?
I have now had 10 days of high on my CBEFM during my second month. I was happy to hear from Jude that sometimes it takes the monitor a few months to get in sync (or N*Sync for that matter...oh dear,I am such a dork!) with your body.
I am technically still in the fertile window that FF predicted me to ovulate during. KD has agreed to do an extra insem, so all should be right in the world, but I am just scared I won't ovulate at all.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I feel stupid
I feel so stupid and betrayed by my body.
I thought I was "listening to my intuition," or "going with my gut."
We did our first insemination of this cycle on CD15, knowing full well that FF did not expect my ovulation until CD21 or later. But I got my first high on my CBEFM, and since its my second month on the monitor, I was convinced that I would only have anywhere form 1-5 days before ovulation.
I was wrong.
The sperm life span window came and went after that insem.
Then, I started trying to listen to my body and examine and obsess over the CBEFM sticks (yes, even though the monitor does that for me). I was convinced I was going to ovulate, very soon. We did another insemination on CD19.
I was wrong. Again.
Everyday I wake up expecting a PEAK on my monitor. When it says high, I am discouraged, but then I think, well I will just have a positive OPK in the afternoon and a peak the next day.
Everyday, I have been wrong.
I hate this.
The thing is, I am still in the window of when FF thinks I will ovulate (CD22). So I haven't even "missed" it yet this month. I just feel that our first two insems were wasted. I know that KD is willing and ready to give us a donation when I finally get that PEAK, but I am also thinking about asking him if he would mind giving us an extra one, just to put my mind at ease. We never said in our donor agreement how many donations per month...which perhaps we should have, but I verbally told him 2-3. Last month we were only able to do one, so maybe he won't mind. Doesn't hurt to ask.
I did get a slight temp drop this morning, which for some people means ovulation is near, but who knows with my body.
I never thought I would miss the TWW.
I thought I was "listening to my intuition," or "going with my gut."
We did our first insemination of this cycle on CD15, knowing full well that FF did not expect my ovulation until CD21 or later. But I got my first high on my CBEFM, and since its my second month on the monitor, I was convinced that I would only have anywhere form 1-5 days before ovulation.
I was wrong.
The sperm life span window came and went after that insem.
Then, I started trying to listen to my body and examine and obsess over the CBEFM sticks (yes, even though the monitor does that for me). I was convinced I was going to ovulate, very soon. We did another insemination on CD19.
I was wrong. Again.
Everyday I wake up expecting a PEAK on my monitor. When it says high, I am discouraged, but then I think, well I will just have a positive OPK in the afternoon and a peak the next day.
Everyday, I have been wrong.
I hate this.
The thing is, I am still in the window of when FF thinks I will ovulate (CD22). So I haven't even "missed" it yet this month. I just feel that our first two insems were wasted. I know that KD is willing and ready to give us a donation when I finally get that PEAK, but I am also thinking about asking him if he would mind giving us an extra one, just to put my mind at ease. We never said in our donor agreement how many donations per month...which perhaps we should have, but I verbally told him 2-3. Last month we were only able to do one, so maybe he won't mind. Doesn't hurt to ask.
I did get a slight temp drop this morning, which for some people means ovulation is near, but who knows with my body.
I never thought I would miss the TWW.
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