until our first ultrasound.
We didn't find out anything today. Our doc just did an exam, pap, and took some cultures. We have our ultrasound on Monday morning.
Right after the exam, as she is taking her gloves off, she says to us: "You know, we have had a rash of twin pregnancies lately. The most ever."
Really, because all we really want is one healthy baby. Of course, we would be happy with whatever God gives us, but one would be great.
I guess Monday will tell.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Tomorrow
Tomorrow is our first appointment. I am very excited about this.
B and I are carpooling to our respective jobs so we can drive to the doctor's office together. I am a little paranoid about being late, but I am always nervous about time.
Last night I had to get up 3 times to pee. Seriously? I wonder if this is a new thing to add to my list of signs or if it was just a fluke...
Today it is supposed to be in the 60's, much cooler than the 80's from yesterday. Hopefully I will be able to sleep better.
B and I are carpooling to our respective jobs so we can drive to the doctor's office together. I am a little paranoid about being late, but I am always nervous about time.
Last night I had to get up 3 times to pee. Seriously? I wonder if this is a new thing to add to my list of signs or if it was just a fluke...
Today it is supposed to be in the 60's, much cooler than the 80's from yesterday. Hopefully I will be able to sleep better.
Monday, April 27, 2009
It's getting hot in here...
The weather has been so gloriously spring and summer like over the past few days. We've been able to be outside more and finally have the windows open for fresh air.
I am normally a cold person. I can't have enough layers on, my classroom is the warmest in the vicinity, I wear my coat out to recess (even when it is 70). However, something has happened in the last few days. Holy Heck am I HOT.
I know that my body temp is elevated because I'm cooking a kid, but I never expected the flashes of heat (in the middle of a meeting, in the middle of dinner...etc). Last night was pretty bad. I couldn't get comfortable. We have our windows open and the fans on, but I still couldn't sleep. The low temp was in the 50's last night. I am grateful that we have air conditioning for the summer months, because I can only imagine if I am this hot at 7.5 weeks pregnant, once summer hits it will be unbearable. TYG for technology!
Because of my hotness during the night, my sleep was interrupted and short. Days like today I wish we were in the safe(r) zone and more people at work knew. I'd like to call in pregnant and use the day to sleep.
I am normally a cold person. I can't have enough layers on, my classroom is the warmest in the vicinity, I wear my coat out to recess (even when it is 70). However, something has happened in the last few days. Holy Heck am I HOT.
I know that my body temp is elevated because I'm cooking a kid, but I never expected the flashes of heat (in the middle of a meeting, in the middle of dinner...etc). Last night was pretty bad. I couldn't get comfortable. We have our windows open and the fans on, but I still couldn't sleep. The low temp was in the 50's last night. I am grateful that we have air conditioning for the summer months, because I can only imagine if I am this hot at 7.5 weeks pregnant, once summer hits it will be unbearable. TYG for technology!
Because of my hotness during the night, my sleep was interrupted and short. Days like today I wish we were in the safe(r) zone and more people at work knew. I'd like to call in pregnant and use the day to sleep.
Friday, April 24, 2009
7 Weeks
The last few days have been a little crazy in the morning sickness department. I was sick with a cold/allergies and the draining in my throat was not helping. However, I have found that if I eat crackers or pretzels throughout the day, it helps immensely.
We also picked up sour candies and mints. The sour candies make it worse. Ew. The mints do help though.
I'm a little bummed today because as I was doing my daily G0.0gle Reader reading, Joey (our cat) decided to step on the keyboard, making all the unread blogs suddenly read. So I am sorry if I missed any big news from yesterday.
Today is supposed to be an absolutely gorgeous day, followed by an equally gorgeous weekend. I cannot wait.
I do have to mention here how cute my dad is. He keeps to himself most of the time and many people feel he is cranky 96% of the time. However, I have always been his "favorite" and its a big joke between my sister and I. Last year, when my mom told him that we were TTC, his reaction was; "Well, I hope that doesn't happen." EEK. Luckily, we didn't know about this reaction until the week before we told them. Anyway, he was in shock the day we told him and then had some very valid questions a few days later (daycare, finances, dogs, etc) that he asked in his former drill sergeant voice. Fast forward a few days. He is so concerned about me and my health during this pregnancy. It's endearing. A few times he has said to me, "Make sure you are eating right and taking care of yourself." Yesterday he wanted me to come over for dinner. He knew B was working late and he knows I don't like to cook for myself. He said he wanted me to have a good meal. (Not the waffles I have had for the past 2 nights for dinner...what's wrong with waffles?!?!) Anyway, he made a big dinner with chicken, corn, potatoes, salad, rolls, etc. It was lovely. When I went to help do the dishes, he just told me he would take care of it and to go rest. So cute!
We also picked up sour candies and mints. The sour candies make it worse. Ew. The mints do help though.
I'm a little bummed today because as I was doing my daily G0.0gle Reader reading, Joey (our cat) decided to step on the keyboard, making all the unread blogs suddenly read. So I am sorry if I missed any big news from yesterday.
Today is supposed to be an absolutely gorgeous day, followed by an equally gorgeous weekend. I cannot wait.
I do have to mention here how cute my dad is. He keeps to himself most of the time and many people feel he is cranky 96% of the time. However, I have always been his "favorite" and its a big joke between my sister and I. Last year, when my mom told him that we were TTC, his reaction was; "Well, I hope that doesn't happen." EEK. Luckily, we didn't know about this reaction until the week before we told them. Anyway, he was in shock the day we told him and then had some very valid questions a few days later (daycare, finances, dogs, etc) that he asked in his former drill sergeant voice. Fast forward a few days. He is so concerned about me and my health during this pregnancy. It's endearing. A few times he has said to me, "Make sure you are eating right and taking care of yourself." Yesterday he wanted me to come over for dinner. He knew B was working late and he knows I don't like to cook for myself. He said he wanted me to have a good meal. (Not the waffles I have had for the past 2 nights for dinner...what's wrong with waffles?!?!) Anyway, he made a big dinner with chicken, corn, potatoes, salad, rolls, etc. It was lovely. When I went to help do the dishes, he just told me he would take care of it and to go rest. So cute!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
What day is it?
Today was the first day I actually had to log into Blogger to know what day of our pregnancy we are on. (6w4d) It's a small a gentle step in the right direction. I used to love when I would forget with DPO I was on, because then I realized that I wasn't obsessing over each day, but actually living. So apparently yesterday I was living. Good times.
Yesterday I also realized that we may not have any assurance at our appointment on the 29th. A couple of you have said that we may not be able to hear the heartbeat, but the doctor may be able to see it on the ultrasound. I keep thinking of the ultrasound, then I think of my OB's office, which is way different than my RE's office, and realize that they do not always have an ultrasound tech on duty. We may not even get an ultrasound on Wednesday. We may have to reschedule for a time when the tech is there. That would be a bummer, but at least I am prepared for that news ahead of time. I'd rather know about the possibility of no ultrasound than be shocked when we got there.
Tomorrow is the Indigo Girls concert! So exciting! Let's just hope I can wake up on Thursday morning!
Yesterday I also realized that we may not have any assurance at our appointment on the 29th. A couple of you have said that we may not be able to hear the heartbeat, but the doctor may be able to see it on the ultrasound. I keep thinking of the ultrasound, then I think of my OB's office, which is way different than my RE's office, and realize that they do not always have an ultrasound tech on duty. We may not even get an ultrasound on Wednesday. We may have to reschedule for a time when the tech is there. That would be a bummer, but at least I am prepared for that news ahead of time. I'd rather know about the possibility of no ultrasound than be shocked when we got there.
Tomorrow is the Indigo Girls concert! So exciting! Let's just hope I can wake up on Thursday morning!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Things Change
Before, when we were actively TTC (or even when we were on a break from TTC), you couldn't tear me away from the baby department of any store we frequented. I usually would have to beg B to just let me look at all of the cute. We even bought little things in hopes of one day actually having a wee one to use it.
Things change.
Now, even after over 10 + HPT, 2 betas, and a bunch of symptoms, I don't even want to go any where near the baby departments. I don't want to read the pregnancy magazines, I don't want to look at baby things online. B made a comment yesterday that I am in denial about my pregnancy. Maybe I am? I don't feel I am though. I just feel I am cautiously optimistic about it.
I am hoping to feel better after our appointment next week. (10 days away doesn't seem so far!)
Things change.
Now, even after over 10 + HPT, 2 betas, and a bunch of symptoms, I don't even want to go any where near the baby departments. I don't want to read the pregnancy magazines, I don't want to look at baby things online. B made a comment yesterday that I am in denial about my pregnancy. Maybe I am? I don't feel I am though. I just feel I am cautiously optimistic about it.
I am hoping to feel better after our appointment next week. (10 days away doesn't seem so far!)
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Feeling good...just tired
Tomorrow marks 6 weeks. Woot! I am eagerly and anxiously awaiting our first appointment on April 29th. I can't wait to hear that little heart beat. I keep putting off things until after that appointment, like filling out the pregnancy journal that B got for me or making any kind of list in preparation for a baby.
Overall I have been feeling pretty good. I don't really feel sick at all until the evening. (In the very beginning I was feeling nauseous several times throughout the day until B pointed out it was because I wasn't eating.) Being back to school forces me on a schedule of eating, so the daytime icki-ness is gone (except for two days ago when I thought B was going to have to pull over when she was driving me to work..eek!). I am hoping it stays gone. The night time nausea isn't even that bad. I can usually breathe my way through it and eventually just fall asleep. I wake up feeling fine.
The tiredness is very apparent. Again, being back to school and in a routine has helped. I am busy during the day, so I don't have very much time to think about a nap.
Just this week I have started to pee a little more. In fact, last night was the first time I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. B says its because my uterus is expanding...I'm not so sure. I don't' read the pregnancy books like she does. I did when we first found out, but I only look at them if I have a specific question. There is just too much information.
Speaking of waking up, I have been waking up between 2-3am every night. I have no idea why. I usually can fall back asleep, but come on.
Other symptoms include: sore bbs and crankiness
Overall I have been feeling pretty good. I don't really feel sick at all until the evening. (In the very beginning I was feeling nauseous several times throughout the day until B pointed out it was because I wasn't eating.) Being back to school forces me on a schedule of eating, so the daytime icki-ness is gone (except for two days ago when I thought B was going to have to pull over when she was driving me to work..eek!). I am hoping it stays gone. The night time nausea isn't even that bad. I can usually breathe my way through it and eventually just fall asleep. I wake up feeling fine.
The tiredness is very apparent. Again, being back to school and in a routine has helped. I am busy during the day, so I don't have very much time to think about a nap.
Just this week I have started to pee a little more. In fact, last night was the first time I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. B says its because my uterus is expanding...I'm not so sure. I don't' read the pregnancy books like she does. I did when we first found out, but I only look at them if I have a specific question. There is just too much information.
Speaking of waking up, I have been waking up between 2-3am every night. I have no idea why. I usually can fall back asleep, but come on.
Other symptoms include: sore bbs and crankiness
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Friends and Family
I have some friends (both online and IRL) and some family that could use all of the love and positive energy you could muster. If you are the praying type, please keep them in your prayers that they can find peace and acceptance in their current situations.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Back to School
It's back to school for me today. Although I am eager to get back to teaching (only 40 days left and so much for my kids to learn!), I am not excited about waking up at 4am anymore.
The morning usually goes something like this.
The morning usually goes something like this.
- 4am: Alarm goes off. B hits snooze.
- 4:15: Alarm goes off. B hits snooze again.
- 4:30: Alarm goes off. I get out of bed, B either hits snooze again or I reset it for her.
- 4:30-5:00 I play around on the computer, check email, etc.
- 5:00-5:15 Shower/dressed.
- 5:15-5:30 Breakfast/pack lunch
- 5:30-5:45 Blow dry hair/put on socks and shoes
- 5:45-5:50 Kiss goodbye/gather school materials
- Leave between 5:45-6:00 and arrive at school anywhere between 6:45-7:15 (depending on traffic)
- Kids arrive at 7:35.
I am thinking about giving up my internet time in the morning, to allow for more sleep. I already go to bed super early as it is (most evenings by 9), so going to bed even earlier is not really an option. I wish I didn't spend over 2 hours in the car everyday.
This may have been the most boring entry ever posted on this blog. Oh well...its time to shower.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Easter Blessings
Today we told J's parents the big news. It went about as well as we expected. We waited until after dinner to give them their gifts. Her mom was shocked and started crying. Her dad just kind of sat there and didn't say much. We think he was just in shock, lol. To break the news, we each got them a keepsake from Hall.mark. J's mom got a Wil.low Tree "grandmother" figurine, and we got her dad a "Most Likely to Spoil the Grandkids" plaque. Her mom immediately began crying and congratulated us, but then the conversation turned to J's sister's kitchen appliances. I think they were just trying to let the news sink in, lol.
About 15 minutes after we got home, the phone rang. It was J's mom, who had clearly finally "gotten" that she was going to be a grandma. She was crying and congratulating us, telling us how excited and happy she was, etc. It was so sweet. Delayed reaction, but still very sweet. She's already planning the shower in her head.
Phew!
About 15 minutes after we got home, the phone rang. It was J's mom, who had clearly finally "gotten" that she was going to be a grandma. She was crying and congratulating us, telling us how excited and happy she was, etc. It was so sweet. Delayed reaction, but still very sweet. She's already planning the shower in her head.
Phew!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Saturday
I spent the morning cleaning my mother's kitchen. Luckily my sister agreed to help, so we both met over there around 8am. We were there for 3 hours and it looks pretty good. We didn't do just a surface clean, this was a deep clean, cupboards emptied, kind of mission.
By the end I was exhausted.
My sister: Why are you in a bad mood all of a sudden.
Me: I am not in a bad mood, I am in a good mood.
Mom: You can tell, she is just tired. Look at her face.
Me: Yes, I am very tired.
Sister: How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I only got 6.
Me: Well, actually I got 5.
Sister: You have been so tired lately!
Now my sister knows I'm pregnant, but she is naive enough to not realize that my lack of sleep is only part of the issue of my tiredness. She hasn't put 2 and 2 together to realize the correlation. I can't wait until we tell my mom and dad tomorrow, so my mom can confirm for my sister that I am not making up my sleepiness.
By the end I was exhausted.
My sister: Why are you in a bad mood all of a sudden.
Me: I am not in a bad mood, I am in a good mood.
Mom: You can tell, she is just tired. Look at her face.
Me: Yes, I am very tired.
Sister: How many hours of sleep did you get last night? I only got 6.
Me: Well, actually I got 5.
Sister: You have been so tired lately!
Now my sister knows I'm pregnant, but she is naive enough to not realize that my lack of sleep is only part of the issue of my tiredness. She hasn't put 2 and 2 together to realize the correlation. I can't wait until we tell my mom and dad tomorrow, so my mom can confirm for my sister that I am not making up my sleepiness.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Meme post-all about us
♥ What are your middle names?
J's is Marie and B's is Anne. Very traditional
♥ How long have you been together?
8+ years
♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About 2 months. J was dating someone else at the time of meeting B. That girl was soon gone. =)
♥ Who asked who out?
J asked B. It went something like this: "I want you to be my girlfriend."
♥ How old are each of you?
J=29, B=28
♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
J's sister and brother-in law. B's sisters live out of state.
♥ Do you have any children together?
One on the way.
♥ What about pets?
2 dogs (Jake and Gracie) and 2 cats (Joey and Maggie)
♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Hmm..the equal share of household duties?
♥ Did you go to the same school?
J attended undergrad at the same place where B went for a semester or two, but we did not know each other then, even though we were there at the same time.
♥ Are you from the same home town?
Absolutely not. J=eastside girl, B=westside girl.
♥ Who is smarter?
Clearly I am (now you just have to guess who "I" is)
♥ Who is more sensitive?
We both are, but about different things.
♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Red Robin, Chili's, etc. The bedroom...ya know.
♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Washington D.C./Virginia
♥ Who has the craziest exes?
J
♥ Who has the worse temper?
B
♥ Who does the cooking?
Neither. This will have to change soon.
♥ Who is more social?
J
♥ Who is the neat-freak?
B is slightly OCD for certain areas of the house, but neither of us could be described as a "neat freak."
♥ Who is more stubborn?
B
♥ Who hogs the bed?
J - and the blankets!
♥ Who wakes up earlier?
J
♥ Where was your first date?
Chili's. We went out for dinner and then to see Save the Last Dance
♥ Who has the bigger family?
We have equally small families.
♥ Do you get flowers often?
2-3 times a year
♥ How do you spend the holidays?
Together
♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Well, we are lesbians. B moved in with J pretty quickly.
♥ Who eats more?
B
♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
B sorts and starts loads. J usually ends up finishing & putting away.
♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Both.
♥ Who drives when you are together?
Always B.
J's is Marie and B's is Anne. Very traditional
♥ How long have you been together?
8+ years
♥ How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About 2 months. J was dating someone else at the time of meeting B. That girl was soon gone. =)
♥ Who asked who out?
J asked B. It went something like this: "I want you to be my girlfriend."
♥ How old are each of you?
J=29, B=28
♥ Whose siblings do/ did you see the most?
J's sister and brother-in law. B's sisters live out of state.
♥ Do you have any children together?
One on the way.
♥ What about pets?
2 dogs (Jake and Gracie) and 2 cats (Joey and Maggie)
♥ Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Hmm..the equal share of household duties?
♥ Did you go to the same school?
J attended undergrad at the same place where B went for a semester or two, but we did not know each other then, even though we were there at the same time.
♥ Are you from the same home town?
Absolutely not. J=eastside girl, B=westside girl.
♥ Who is smarter?
Clearly I am (now you just have to guess who "I" is)
♥ Who is more sensitive?
We both are, but about different things.
♥ Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Red Robin, Chili's, etc. The bedroom...ya know.
♥ Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Washington D.C./Virginia
♥ Who has the craziest exes?
J
♥ Who has the worse temper?
B
♥ Who does the cooking?
Neither. This will have to change soon.
♥ Who is more social?
J
♥ Who is the neat-freak?
B is slightly OCD for certain areas of the house, but neither of us could be described as a "neat freak."
♥ Who is more stubborn?
B
♥ Who hogs the bed?
J - and the blankets!
♥ Who wakes up earlier?
J
♥ Where was your first date?
Chili's. We went out for dinner and then to see Save the Last Dance
♥ Who has the bigger family?
We have equally small families.
♥ Do you get flowers often?
2-3 times a year
♥ How do you spend the holidays?
Together
♥ How long did it take to get serious?
Well, we are lesbians. B moved in with J pretty quickly.
♥ Who eats more?
B
♥ Who does/ did the laundry?
B sorts and starts loads. J usually ends up finishing & putting away.
♥ Who’s better with the computer?
Both.
♥ Who drives when you are together?
Always B.
Beta Chart
These are the same numbers I already posted, just in chart form. I am a little nervous about some lower back pain I've had on and off today. It is mostly on my left side. I hope it means nothing.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Spring Break is almost over.
I feel like I have done nothing during this Spring Break. I have lacked even an ounce of motivation to do anything around the house. I had big plans to do some deep cleaning and furniture rearranging...that didn't happen.
Tomorrow I am watching Saph and Brayden, as well as Friday. My Saturday's are pretty standard lately: Workout at the gym with my sister, head over to my mom's to clean/take her out, and then back home. In addition to my normal two activities for this Saturday, we are also doing dinner and an egg hunt at my mom's house (granted, there are no "children" only B and I and my sister and her husband). On Sunday we will spend the morning at church (attending services and teaching Sunday School) and then head over to my sister's place for Easter dinner.
We will be telling my parents either Saturday night or Sunday afternoon. We are both so excited to tell them, especially my mom. She is going to be thrilled. We purchased a Willow Tree Grandmother figurine for my mom and a "Most likely to spoil grandkids" plaque for my dad.
I am thinking that once school starts back up the days will go by a little quicker. 3 weeks until my first OB appointment.
Tomorrow I am watching Saph and Brayden, as well as Friday. My Saturday's are pretty standard lately: Workout at the gym with my sister, head over to my mom's to clean/take her out, and then back home. In addition to my normal two activities for this Saturday, we are also doing dinner and an egg hunt at my mom's house (granted, there are no "children" only B and I and my sister and her husband). On Sunday we will spend the morning at church (attending services and teaching Sunday School) and then head over to my sister's place for Easter dinner.
We will be telling my parents either Saturday night or Sunday afternoon. We are both so excited to tell them, especially my mom. She is going to be thrilled. We purchased a Willow Tree Grandmother figurine for my mom and a "Most likely to spoil grandkids" plaque for my dad.
I am thinking that once school starts back up the days will go by a little quicker. 3 weeks until my first OB appointment.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Still Waiting
Still waiting to hear yesterday's beta numbers. Have I mentioned how much I hate waiting?!?! I just want to know! I called and left a message on the doc's answering machine, so hopefully someone will get back with me today. They were good about calling me back yesterday, so why should today be different, right?
Yesterday we were able to visit a set of 4 day old twins! There were so cute and tiny! Beautiful, beautiful! I am hoping to peek in on them on Thursday and Friday as well, since I will be babysitting their cousins (Saph and Brayden) who live next door.
I had high hopes of doing some deep cleaning over break, but I am lacking motivation. Maybe after I get a high beta call today I will kick into gear. Because right now all I feel like doing is fooling around on the computer.
Yesterday we were able to visit a set of 4 day old twins! There were so cute and tiny! Beautiful, beautiful! I am hoping to peek in on them on Thursday and Friday as well, since I will be babysitting their cousins (Saph and Brayden) who live next door.
I had high hopes of doing some deep cleaning over break, but I am lacking motivation. Maybe after I get a high beta call today I will kick into gear. Because right now all I feel like doing is fooling around on the computer.
Monday, April 6, 2009
1st Beta Result
At 14DPo my HcG level was 213
Not too bad. I had to get the labs ordered through my PCP. (Apparently I haven't seen him since 2006 and he was a little shocked when the faxed results came in this morning. He had a ton of questions, which I tried my best to answer discreetly while hiding in my parents' house. Anyway, I have a routine physical scheduled on Wednesday, so I can fill him in on everything.)
I was able to get a second one drawn today, so we can check those doubling times at this time tomorrow. So excited.
What was your beta around 14DPO??!?!
Not too bad. I had to get the labs ordered through my PCP. (Apparently I haven't seen him since 2006 and he was a little shocked when the faxed results came in this morning. He had a ton of questions, which I tried my best to answer discreetly while hiding in my parents' house. Anyway, I have a routine physical scheduled on Wednesday, so I can fill him in on everything.)
I was able to get a second one drawn today, so we can check those doubling times at this time tomorrow. So excited.
What was your beta around 14DPO??!?!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Blood Test
Yesterday I arranged for a blood test, just for my own peace of mind. After school I darted over to my PCP for the lab slip and then over to the lab for the draw. Results are there today, but since the office is closed I will not hear until Monday.
I did not take another test today. I put them away.
I did not take another test today. I put them away.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Affirmations
As you probably know (if you've been reading our blog for any time now), we believe in the power of positive thinking. We attend a Unity church that believes God is good ALL THE TIME.
However, as much as I believe in the principles and see them working in my life, sometimes my "monkey brain" takes over and I start to trust my own thinking, instead of God's.
I have noticed this especially during the last few days. I understand we are pregnant. I can even say that out loud. I see those lines on the pee sticks. I have confirmation, yet my "monkey brain" still wonders, "What if..."
I/we decided that we will continue to test until:
a) Tests run out (Y'all know how you buy those things in bulk? We have anywhere between 15-20 left) OR
b) I get a couple of betas under my belt. (Someone commented on my LJ and said that her PCP was able to order them. I think I will ask. It doesn't hurt to ask!) OR
c) April 29th (The date of our first appointment with our OB/Gyn)
In the meantime, the lines are getting darker and God's laughing at me. I also signed up for daily pregnancy affirmations to be sent to by inbox. Yesterday's was: "My body knows how to grow a baby" and today's is "My baby is growing strong and healthy" These little sayings get me through the day. I say it over and over.
(In unrelated school news, today is the start of Spring Break!)
However, as much as I believe in the principles and see them working in my life, sometimes my "monkey brain" takes over and I start to trust my own thinking, instead of God's.
I have noticed this especially during the last few days. I understand we are pregnant. I can even say that out loud. I see those lines on the pee sticks. I have confirmation, yet my "monkey brain" still wonders, "What if..."
I/we decided that we will continue to test until:
a) Tests run out (Y'all know how you buy those things in bulk? We have anywhere between 15-20 left) OR
b) I get a couple of betas under my belt. (Someone commented on my LJ and said that her PCP was able to order them. I think I will ask. It doesn't hurt to ask!) OR
c) April 29th (The date of our first appointment with our OB/Gyn)
In the meantime, the lines are getting darker and God's laughing at me. I also signed up for daily pregnancy affirmations to be sent to by inbox. Yesterday's was: "My body knows how to grow a baby" and today's is "My baby is growing strong and healthy" These little sayings get me through the day. I say it over and over.
(In unrelated school news, today is the start of Spring Break!)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
WHEW!
From my lj, written last night at 10:49 pm:
J has an appt with the ob/gyn at 8 weeks. They won't see her sooner and since we didn't go through the RE's office to get pregnant, they won't do the betas for us. So, until the end of the month it's regular HPTs and waiting for that wonderful confirmation.
So, today was incredibly surreal.Thank you all for the love and the kind words. This community is a never-ending showcase of some of the most thoughtful, inspiring and supportive women we have ever known.
First, J wakes me up by rushing upstairs and asking me to come down and look at the HPT she took because she can't tell if there's really a line or not can you please just come look ::pant pant::. So, I grudgingly put on my glasses and slithered out of bed, and not so nonchalantly coughed/sighed as I stumbled over to the stairs and began the descent into the bathroom. If I hadn't already been up at 12am to shower and change clothes (after spending the last 28 in grubby, "sick" pajamas) I would have probably been more on alert when J asked me to double check the maybe line on her HPT. But I was/am sick. And I was grouchy. And I really did not want to be woken up at 5:30am to look at a maybe line.
At first I didn't see it. I even said, "I don't see it" and put it back down. Then I did a double take because I saw something. I picked it back up and said, "WAIT. Yes. I see it now."
And then we just kind of stood there staring at it together. In total disbelief. And I don't think either of us were awake yet. We started giggling. We hugged. And then I went back upstairs and got back into bed. (Wait, why did I do that?!?) It really just hadn't sunk in...at all.
Anyway, so I'm laying in bed feeling like I was having the weirdest and most realistic dream ever. I hear her come upstairs and ask me if she can tell her friend from work. I say okay. She kisses me on the forehead and leaves. The front door shuts, then silence. A few moments later, the front door opens and I hear her walking down the hall and turning on the lights in the stairway.
"Honey!"
"What?" (grumbly, sleep-induced auto-response: ON)
"Someone stole the ignition out of the van."
"Huh?" (a little more alert now)
"SOMEONE STOLE THE IGNITION OUT OF THE VAN."
"Holy shoot!" (Only I didn't say "shoot." I said the other, much more ladylike word.)
"And they took your work bag!"
So, that woke me right up. What a fantastic memory. It wasn't the positive pregnancy test that shot me out of bed at 6 in the morning, it was the fact that some neighborhood thugs had stolen my Franklin Covey planner, and how was I going to remember all of the meetings and appointments I had scheduled in the coming months?
The next couple of hours were a flurry of phone calls, police reports and towings. After all that had died down, J took two more tests. Very positive. Almost instantly positive. Then it really started to sink in. This really was happening.
We had to go visit her dad in the hospital because he'd had an angioplasty this morning (and a stint put in his leg). Before we left, we each texted a picture message of our positive test to one person. J chose her sister and I chose ::insert my BFFs name here::. While we were in the hospital I got a call from BFF, who was ecstatic. We hadn't heard from J's sister but we knew it was because she was at work and probably not available to talk about personal stuff.
We got home and changed back into comfy clothes, and J took another test. Still positive. That's four positive HPTs in one day. 11 DPO. Ohmigod.
After we got home we just kind of sat around and let the news sink in. J went and got her hair did (so cute, btw). My appointment is in 2 weeks, on a Tuesday evening. As the evening wore on the phone calls started. First her sister, then BFF, then J's parents (who don't know but we've been talking to them all day b/c of J's dad's procedure).
Finally, as J started to fall asleep on the chair in the living room, it really hit me. We are going to have a baby. J and me. We're going to be parents. Something we've been trying to do for over a year and a half. Something we've wanted for so much longer.
We're pregnant.
HOLY CRAP WE'RE PREGNANT.
We went upstairs and laid in bed, and I started thinking about this crazy, totally effing surreal day. I started thinking about everything. Like, where's the swing going to go if we have the pack-n-play in the living room? We're going to have to move the bookcase to the office. Is the doorway to the kitchen going to be strong enough to hold up the bouncer? We need to make a list of things around the house to repair now before the baby comes. We need to figure out how we're going to tell our parents (just a surprise or do we make it fun since it's their first grandchild?). What happens when the baby poops and vomits all over everything and won't stop crying at 3:00am and we both work early in the morning the next day? What happens when it becomes a 15-year-old and doesn't want to have anything to do with us? But most importantly, WHERE IS THE DAMN SWING GOING TO GO? And here I am.
But I am excited. Overwhelmingly excited and terrified and happy.
Our little Sprout is finally going to come home.
J has an appt with the ob/gyn at 8 weeks. They won't see her sooner and since we didn't go through the RE's office to get pregnant, they won't do the betas for us. So, until the end of the month it's regular HPTs and waiting for that wonderful confirmation.
Our Fist BFP: The Pics
I was scared to take one of the super fancy tests today. You know those ones that spell it right out for you.
I was even rationalizing in my brain..."we are only 12DPO"
The "pregnant" popped up very, very quickly. (It's hard to see in the photo, but it's there. Trust me.)
My question for those of you that have had a positive test. When did you stop peeing on tests? I feel like I will need to test forever. I'm so worried. I want to enjoy the moment and relish in the fact that I can get..you know the word, but I'm so nervous.
These are the tests from yesterday. Yes, I took 4.
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